Tentang 'Murah Rezeki' dan 'Anak'

This post has got no relation what so ever to my current mak buyung condition.

Rather, a random sharing of what I heard over the radio this morning.

The station? IKIM. Ayah's choice as set alarm/wake up call every morning after the azan.

I don't know how (or rather choose not to know how) to 'operate' the radio. So I let it be.

And I thought, ok what pagi2 dengar IKIM? (Dalam kereta lain channel....hicks!!!)

Walau pun sekadar setengah jam dalam rutin bersiap di pagi hari sebelum ke tempat kerja - every little helps. Walau sebesar zarah. Indeed.

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Pagi tadi berkenaan anak & rezeki.

Siapa pernah minta doa murah rezeki? Tipu lah kan kalau kita jawab tak pernah sekali pun!

For most of us, paling busuk pun at least sekali - mesti pernah memanjatkan doa untuk dimurahkan rezeki.

Tapi ramai juga terlupa nak sambung, "biar lah rezeki itu dari rezeki yg halal dan baik......"
(peringatan untuk diri ibu sendiri.....)

Pagi tadi kat radio, Ustaz tu berkongsi cerita, masa sessi kaunseling untuk ibu bapa .... ada ibu bapa yang mengadu nasib kat Ustaz....

"Tak tau kenapa dan apa silap kami sehingga anak kami ni nakal / jahat / kurang ajar / biadap / ponteng sekolah / gagal periksa / hisap ganja / minum arak / seks rambang / etc / etc / etc .... Pelajaran & tuisyen, kami utamakan. Kelas agama & mengaji, kami upah khas ustaz datang mengajar. Buku/peralatan sekolah lengkap. Makanan lazat dan sihat. Duit belanja sekolah secukupnya. Pengangkutan terurus. Rumah selesa. Waktu berkualiti / percutian bersama keluarga pun kami tak lupa. Kami sendiri pun sebagai ibu bapa, rasanya menunjukkan contoh yang elok kepada anak kami (puasa, solat, mengaji, budi bahasa, etc, etc ). Tapi kenapa pulak dia jadi macam ni, perangai tak senonoh? Kami buntu Ustaz. Tak tau apa silap kami."

Apabila ditanya tentang perkara2 atau contoh2 buruk yang mungkin ada dilakukan oleh ibu bapa tersebut, hampir kesemuanya dinafikan sekeras2 nya.

Setelah puas soal selidik latar belakang ibu bapa, secara zahir & logiknya, Ustaz berpendapat memang tidak masuk akal kenapa anak tersebut sanggup berperangai sebegitu sehingga tidak menyenangkan hati & perasaan ibu bapa tersebut.

Tapi kebingungan terurai apabila satu soalan cepumas diajukan kepada ibu bapa tersebut.

"Macam mana dengan sumber pendapatan tuan & puan? Adakah dari punca rezeki yg halal dan baik?"

Kedua ibu bapa tersebut terus terdiam. Membisu seribu bahasa.

Pertanyaan di ulang sekali lagi.

Berdesing bagai halilintar menembusi gegendang telinga kedua ibu bapa tersebut, menyedarkan mereka dari lamunan mereka selama ini.

Walaupun pada zahirnya mereka itu nampak sama sahaja seperti kebanyakan ibu bapa muslim moden yg lain; dari kalangan keluarga yang baik2, berpendidikan sederhana-tinggi, kerjaya yang bagus dan boleh diterima di mata masyarakat, bekerja dari pagi sampai petang, TETAPI soalan Ustaz yang terakhir itu membuatkan mereka teringat kepada perkara-perkara lain yang telah terlepas pandang dari mata kasar mereka sebelum ini.

Mereka teringat akan ......

Habuan dari kontraktor/konsultan samada yang bentuk kewangan secara tunai atau caruman tetap ke akaun semasa setiap bulan ataupun yang berbentuk barangan yang berharga mahupun pakej percutian, malahan juga bantuan mengubahsuai kediaman atau perkhidmatan membaikpulih kenderaan tanpa sebarang caj yang diterima atau diminta tanpa segan silu.....

Sogokan wang dari pembekal agar proses penyemakan dan pembayaran bil dipercepatkan dari tempoh yang sepatutnya tanpa sebarang dokuman pengesahan .....

Tuang kerja dalam lingkungan 1-2 jam setiap hari. Antaranya hasil himpunan waktu dari keluar sarapan, tengahari, minum petang lebih dari waktu yang dihadkan, melayari internet selain dari tujuan rasmi bekerja, berborak bergossip dengan kawan sepejabat atau melalui telefon, membelek majalah hiburan yang tiada kena mengena dengan soal kerja - kesemuanya tanpa rasa bersalah dan tanpa rasa perlu untuk menggantikan semula jam-jam yang terhimpun itu ......

Membuat tuntutan perjalananan yang lebih dari had / polisi yang ditetapkan ......

Membuat tuntutan palsu seperti 'reimbursement of claims / out of pocket expenses' untuk menjamu & melayan klien, walhal membawa family pergi makan2 di restoran mana-mana, membeli hadiah untuk klien atau rakan niaga ketika urusan melawat kilang di luar negara, walhal membeli cenderahati untuk sanak saudara dan kawan2 sepejabat, meminta peniaga menaikkan harga yang ditulis dalam resit pembelian agar boleh membuat tuntutan lebih walhal kos sebenar yang dibelanjakan jauh lebih rendah......

Dan sebagainya.......

Dan sebenarnya perkara-perkara diatas jika dikira semula dan ditukar ke bentuk wang tunai, jumlahnya secara purata bulanan mungkin sahaja melebihi dari jumlah gaji yang rasmi tercetak di slip gaji ibu bapa tersebut.

Sang ibu bapa itu tersentak dari mimpi buruk mereka.

Kelu lidah untuk berkata.

Tapi terasa seperti sebilah pisau yang tajam menikam menembusi jantung, disusuli dengan perahan limau nipis ke atas luka tikaman yang masih berdarah itu.

Mereka tersedar, rupa-rupanya anak mereka sebenarnya selama ini bukanlah dibesarkan dengan sumber pendapatan yang boleh dikira sebagai rezeki yang halal dan baik .......

Ustaz bertanya secara umum, siapa yang tidak mahukan murah rezeki? Rezeki yang melimpah ruah?

Kalau kita berdoa dan berusaha bersungguh, insyaALLAH akan dikabulkan.

TAPI kita jangan lupa berusaha keras dan tekad berdoa agar rezeki yg murah dan melimpah ruah yang dikurniakan kepada kita untuk menampung dan menyara keluarga kita, adalah dari sumber yang halal dan baik.

Justeru, agar darah yang mengalir dan daging yang memejal dalam tubuh kita, suami/isteri kita, anak-anak kita, cucu-cucu kita juga akan terbit dan terbentuk dari sumber rezeki yang halal dan baik; tanpa syak dan ragu-ragu.

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Ada kala balasan untuk perbuatan kita di"bayar" tunai depan mata.

Persoalannya, samada kita sedar atau tidak?

Kita manusia. Mudah lupa Mudah lalai. Mudah leka.

Catatan hari ini sekadar ingat mengingat kan sesama kita, lebih-lebih lagi peringatan untuk diri ibu sendiri, ke jalan yang lebih lurus dan benar dan bercahaya.

Semuga dapat kita fikir-fikirkan bersama dan mengambil pengajaran yang sewajarnya.

Tepuk dada tanya selera.

Wassalam,
Ibu

1 minute fame

Yeah.... so I might have secured 1 minute worth of newspaper reading time from some people today.... hehehe....

Half page, above the men's shoes. Front page online (snapshot summary). hmmm .... not bad an allocation.

Sure enough I received some feedbacks via sms, email & phone calls from my "fans" ( err... and one via blog comment too :).

Some actually alerted by me in the first place. Hahaha.... gila glamer aper?

But let me share with you some of the feedbacks, which I thought are enlightening :

1. "Your pix looks good" ( from someone outside "fan club" - I know, pay awards is due in 2 mths time, so no surprise....)

2. "Very proud of u la... terus lari masuk resource centre" (from hubby's niece, yes - stay sweet dear, I promise I shall sponsor the well known "Grade A Choice" eggs (bunga telur) for your wedding)

3. "Dah nampak this am. 'Hubby' pointed out!" (from one Majlis Tertinggi member - even the hubbies are keeping eyes on us!! Alamak....)

4. "Alamak mem, kenapa tak pakai baju lip-lap masa interview? And what retails skills are u talking about? Maybe boleh try? " (from another Majlis Tertinggi member - see? eyes for details... bling-bling yg dia cari....sah MT!!)

5. "U ni, posing pun macam debator ... " ( from yet another Majlis Tertinggi member - hello friend, I tak posing pun tau.... dia 'tangkap' during live interview. So sejak azali style cam tu la agaknyer?)

6. "Wah. Aku dah baca article kau..... Besaunya gambar! Tak nampak perut pun!" ( who would dare to comment like that if not another Majlis Tertinggi member? Kah!kah! kah! Aiya Mdm! Kalau nampak perut, at least orang tau la I am not naturally tembam ok? Rather buatan orang tu..... )

7. "I saw oredi. Waaaaaa memang ada gaya. Was trying to spot the ring on d finger la...." ( tidak syak lagi, obviously has to come from another Majlis Tertinggi member. Tak boleh buat apa la kan kita ni semua? rings, bling-bling, gemuk vs kurus... that shall continue to be our key highlights of any day's discussion..... hehehe..... Mdm, for the record, not the Mont Blanc ring)

8. "Sis, cantik gambar you, Well done" ( from my junior Srikandi. errr... thank you sis. But well done on the news coverage ker? Or well done on the photo editing to cover up my pimples? Musykil nih...)

9. "Mdm, read ur interview today. Good job!" ( from ex-colleague... thanks dear! Ber-madam madam pulak you! hehehe)

10. "Glamer... front page, btimes. Ada staff dah tanya" ( from non other than my no 1 fan, my hubby. hehehe... tell your staff, if they want to apply, they can send their CVs through you. Moonlight as recruitment agent, bley? )

Cukup la kan..... 1 minute fame, as I said.

Orang lain keluar masuk paper saban hari tak ambik pusing pon! Kita sekali sekala, terasa la glamer dak? hehehehe.....

Itu lah cerita ibu hari ni.

The real message of the news article ? Ah... serious stuff like that, next time lah :)

Cheers!

I cheated .......

The temptation too strong.

The curiosity uncontrollable.

The waiting game unbearable.

And so I cheated.

I found the answer online - on American Idol official website.

OHHHHOHOHOHOHOOOO....... Sedihnya....... My favourite has been booted out.

Ayah, you have to console me tonite. I am sad, very very sad .......


p/s I confessed to Ayah last night, "Sorry lah Bang, I so minat kat this Idol. But I think one of the reasons is because he resembles you in some ways, really....." ( cover line, cover line, hehe!). Last weekend when we were in England (err... the Optical), I even asked Ayah to choose a frame like 'his'. Maybe after this I should ask Ayah to start 'simpan jambang' like him. Uhuhuhu.....

Mother's Day Treat

"Ibu, this weekend, you just relax okay? It's Mother's Day weekend", said Hafiz.

"Cool ..." I said, "Are you boys going to have a special treat for me this weekend?"

"I will massage your body & feet!" volunteered Hafiz, motioning the karate-chop that he usually rendered for my back & shoulder.

"I will draw cartoons for you - lots & lots of cartoon!", said Ameer.

"Good! And who's going to cook for me?", I threw in the twist.

"Err... Masak?!!! Ala..... Hafiz tak tau masak la Ibu...." he replied in a very serious tone.

"Nanti takut kena api la Ibu!" added Ameer.

Ayah either pura-pura tak dengar or chose tak nak dengar kot.

" Hmmm..... okaylah.... tak pe, nanti dah besar esok, belajar masak sedap2 & masak untuk Ibu okay? "

"OKAY!!!!" they boys cheered.

Then suddenly Hafiz asked, "Err... apa yang senang nak masak, Ibu?"

Alamak.... he asked me, this Ibu? Apa yang senang nak masak? Oh oh.... in trouble!

"Err...... Maggi maybe?!" came my instant reply, as instant as the 'dish' itself.

"HA AH LAH IBU!!!! Yess.... I think I can cook for you on Mother's Day!!!! Yes, I will cook something for you!", replied Hafiz jubilantly.

"AMEER pun!!!" yg kenit pun joined sama.

" Ye ke? Okay... surprise me then.... "

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This morning - I woke up to the chirpy & melodic greetings of "Happy Mother's Day, Ibu!" from Hafiz, followed by "Here's your 'Breakfast In Bed' ....."

The menu?
Maggi Hot Cup chicken flavour
Jelly beans in a lovely apple shape candy container

Courtesy of Hafiz & Ameer ........ cute kan? So sweet.....

Thank you, my lil darlings. You are my world too!


HAPPY MOTHERS' DAY TO ALL MOMMIES OUT THERE ....

To KC

Bibi dah lama "return" to work daaaaaaa......

Kalau tak, harus I fly all the way to her kampung to extradite her.

She was on "vacation" for two long months, which allowed me to fully embrace the meaning of "penantian itu satu penyiksaan". LOL!!!!

I'm useless around the house without her - that's for sure. I can only layan the kids, feed the cats, set up pretty colour coordinated table setting and the likes..... oh yes, I can do the refilling of bath & shower gel & replenishment of tooth paste & shampoo too. hehehehe.... but really, that's about all.

I tend to write long typically when I'm officially on leave from work or on weekends.

All other snippets here & there are some stolen moments on working nights, if I manage to wrestle some time away from the kids.

Like this one ....

So KC, sadly for me, you can lower down that tabik spring vono now :(

Let the lessons begin ....

It's never quite easy agreeing on how to deliver a mutually agreed objective with Ayah. We often get into debates, which is my favourite! But with Ayah as the sparring partner, the debates are pretty 'calm' and 'silent' (remember Paula Abdul's song "Opposite Attracts"?).

"It's RMxxx per month per head."
"Ohhhh.. too expensive........"
(followed by silence.....)

"Ha... there's a cheaper one at Perangsang Templer Park!"
"Aisey.... too far lah....."
(followed by silence .....)

"4pm weekends?"
"Clash with Abang Idin's visiting hours, don't u think?"
(followed by silence ....)

"How about week nights?"
"Hmmm.... tak sempat kot? Clash with Kumon. Unless you can come home earlier on those week nights?"
(followed by silence....)

"So shouldn't he start now?"
"If he howls 'NAK IBUUUUUUUU' in the classes, how?"
(followed by silence.....)

And this calm & silent debates went on and on for weeks, I think months now. But deyyyy thamby.... silent & calm camana pon, perempuan mana yg buleh tahan with such prolonged non commitment? Bukannya nak suruh kawen lagi satu pon! (Now that's a bad comparison! I don't think men would defer deciding to spring into action with such offer from their wives if that really happens! hissh.... simpang, simpang!)

What are these bigger than world matters to decide at hand? To commit pronto?

Hehehe... Just swimming lessons for Hafiz & Ameer, and Tae Kwan Do lessons for Ameer.

See.... bukan ler apa sangat kan? But waiting for my supposedly better half to decide and commit, MAK OIIIIIII!!!! Mengalahkan menunggu keputusan cabinet & jemaah menteri to decide on minimum wage in Malaysia.

So I decided to just take the plunge!

And yesterday, while Ayah was away attending an office function (corporate social responsibility) at Tasik Perdana, the Home Minister at Emerald Rawang proceeded to sign on the dotted line to :

1. Enroll the boys in the much deferred swimming lessons under the supervision of Coach Danny at Duta Palms club in Bandar Country Homes (which is only 3 traffic lights away from Emerald) in the morning, and

2. Enroll Ameer to join Hafiz in Tae Kwan Do lessons with the same Master Prabha at Green Park Rawang (which is also only 3 traffic lights and 1 roundabout away from Emerald) in the afternoon.

Given time & distance equal money too .... I concluded that, hehh, seposen dua posen differences in fees, takde makna nyer kalau berpeluh2 kena drive sana sini!

Yeah... of course this Ibu had to go through those cringe moments with Ameer grabbing & clinging tightly to my legs before entering the pool, forcing me to move inch by inch bow-leggedly to get him near the pool edge. Thank goodness, the coach was very good indeed - living up to his reputation as silver & bronze medallists coach. (Gold? not yet... tunggu my boys kot? Who knows....) Just as I got near the edge, he grabbed Ameer and carried him piggy back style to the middle of the pool. It was just the wading pool to start with, but which was still quite deep for the already freaked-out Ameer. In my heart I was like - Oh My God!!! Habih la anak aku!!!! I walked away quickly to the other side of the pool, took my seat in the shades and pretended to read (yeah... with the book covering my face! Hide away la konon... hahaha). And surprise! surprise! It worked out just fine. When I lowered down the book a few minutes later, I saw Ameer already had his goggles on and hanging on (to his life!!!) to the pool's edge by himself. Shortly after, they were already into the holding of breath under water and the water kicking drills.

Phewwww........ so it was a case of 'forced trust' professionally crafted. In a crisis moment like that (being in the middle of the pool where his feet could not touch the base), Ameer had just got to trust the sole adult within his reach, i.e. Coach Danny and hang on to him for his dear life - instead of hoping for his Ibu (who was gone from his sight in seconds) to save him. Coach Danny pesan; there is a technique to do it, ok? Don't simply pandai-pandai try on other people.... ekekeke.....

Hafiz, on the other hand, hmmphhh... macam itik jumpa air!!!

I continued ducking my head behind the book, forcing my over-rated motherly concern to be taken over by the gripping tale of the female suffering and endurance under the Taliban's rule penned by Khaled Hosseini.

At about 5 past 11, I heard the two boys singing the familiar tune, THANK YOU COACH DANNY! Hahhh...alas.... I pun dah berpeluh2 masa tu. The boys smiled towards me. Ameer put up his right hand up in the sky, ready to give me a high 5 from afar.

I texted Ayah to update him on the accomplishment.

Later in the afternoon, while Ayah was still away attending his corporate social responsibility office function ( hey... berapa lama daaaaa????? ), I dropped off the boys at Teacher Rameni's house to car pool with her children to the Tae Kwan Do class pulak.

Again Ameer was very hesitant in the beginning. But I just had to remind him that he needed to start learning self defense early, else who will protect 'Anis'? Wohooooo!!!! That line worked wonders I tell ya (hehehe, sorry Abid .... ). Talk about 'motivation'! This guy is really fond of Anis, a daughter of one of my MT clan, Abid. So anything for Anis. Plus, since Hafiz (and Abang Idin too, before this) was already in the class, at least Ameer was not as apprehensive towards Tae Kwan Do as he was towards swimming. But I bet my broken finger nails that it was the mere mentioning of protecting Anis being the key differentiating factor in this case. My maternal instinct says so.

Abang Idin also had a Tae Kwan Do meet of some sort at Stadium Cheras. A tourney amongst the light/feather weight he said. Ada ke? Ntah ler.... So we would not be visiting him at the hostel in the afternoon.

With visiting session cancelled and with the two boys out of the house on Saturday afternoon, I thought it was a good time to catch up on my reading. On the sofa, in front of the TV. Air cond switched on. A plate of goreng pisang (tapau from a stall outside the club) and a mug of teh tarik by the side (courtesy of bibik on weekends). The same 'A Thousand Splendid Sun' by Khaled Hosseini at hand. Wahhhh.... what a bliss!!! As you can guess ..... I dozed off to sleep in no time at all. HAHAHAHA ....

Ayah woke me up - tak sedar pun what time. Asked the boys whereabout. And I told him lepas swimming, lunch, lepak sat, then pi Tae Kwan Do pulak. The look of a pleasant surprise on his face was pretty obvious. Shortly after, he also joined me lounging in front of the TV - both dozing off to our Saturday afternoon slumber.

At about half past six, we were waken up by shrills of laughter, sweaty smells and a marathon of commentaries on how to do this kick and that punch by the two boys. Hafiz told us he had to spar with a girl and so had to let her win. Ameer was huffing & puffing at the same time, showing off his newly acquired skills.

At that moment, I knew, the lessons have begun .....


Salam,
Ibu


p/s Ayah... I've asked the swimming coach to text me his account number. That should spare you the hassle, as you can simply Mayban2him jer in the future .... ekekeke.... so you think you can run scott free that easily?

Progress of my LIL one

In Hollywood last night, Lil was voted out of American Idol Season 8. That was the end of Lil.

In Rawang though, or rather in the comfy sack inside my tummy, my very own lil' one is progressing well, Alhamdulillah. Thank you for all the well wishes, I'm touched and grateful for the doas extended.

Went for my follow up check up at APSH yesterday on my own, joined by Ayah there. I came clean with Dr Ashar that I couldn't stand being house arrested, hence I started work 2 weeks earlier (than the 4 weeks medical leave given!). He smiled and calmly replied, "It's quite hard to stay put when you are so used to being active at work, isn't it?" Hehehe... Ayah just smiled and added, "there's another update". And so I also had to come clean with Dr Ashar re the slip & fall too. I told him I rest for a few days after the fall but started work again early this week. Since there was no bleeding or major abdominal pain, he seemed fully forgiving. After all, I fell while doing my normal morning routine for Subuh prayer, so he really couldn't scold me, even if he wanted to. Hehehe.....

So first things first, let me come clean altogether. I am 40 and I have 3 boys. And yeah, I am expecting. About 16 weeks now.

Sometimes at dinner table, I wring my hands at the skies and wonder how I came to be the hub of this noisy, chaotic house. Some days as evening falls, I just have to get away to take a break from the responsibility, from the cacophony, and labor, and pretend to have fallen fast asleep under the duvet where no one can no longer expect one iota of energy from me.

I repeat, I am 40, I have 3 boys, and am 16 weeks pregnant now. I have quite a demanding job in a multi national chain of "kedai runcit".

Some of my colleagues said either I am very courageous, or I am out of my mind!

Either way, it's still a mission, shared by Ayah & Ibu.

I already have 3 boys - that I've said. All from the same Ayah (chuckle!!! though one of my buddies thought Ameer looked like my former 'boyfriend'...ceh!!! tak patut betul!! he didn't even fall into my definition of 'boyfriend' in the first place, okay? And for goodness sake, anak ke tiga muka cam ex-boyfriend, apa hal? HAHAHA....)

So is this my 4th pregnancy then?

No. It's not. I've had a few miscarriages in the past. At least 2 in between Abang Idin & Hafiz, including one at 4.5 months; it was a girl :(.

And then another 2 miscarriages after Ameer - both within the last 12-15 months. I blogged about one of it (the first one) but kept silent on the 2nd unfortunate incident. I felt it was too private & personal to share then. I don't mind sharing now, the 2nd miscarriage was actually a twin (we have 'twins genes' in both Ayah's & Ibu's side, so not a major surprise).

So put up your fingers now and count. Kalau 'tak', I would have 8 children! WOW !!!! Meriahnya!!

We've mutually agreed on having 4. Ayah actually wanted more. Not realistic at all from my perspective. So 4 is a compromised number. We would have exceeded set expectation with the twins, but no...it was not meant to be, for only Allah knows why. If Allah grants us more after this, we'll still accept it as part of the rezqi bestowed upon us.

For what have happened, I can only thank Allah for still giving me the opportunities to conceive & carry them even just a quarter way. I know some close friends who still have not successfully conceived despite assisted with medical advances & technology interventions.

In my case, as proven thus far, I could conceive. For all my pregnancies thus far, I did not experience the so-called "morning sickness". However, I suffered from a condition called "incompetent cervix" (I've linked the term to a relevant site to save your time from googling). This was first detected, unfortunately, a bit too late, upon my 1st known miscarriage at abt 4.5 mths. I was told then that I had (still have!) a reverse shaped uterus, hence the incompetent cervix. Since then, I was advised that in order to sustain my future pregnancies, I might have to go through this procedure called cervical serclage, which is simply translated as sewing up the cervix with stitches, to be removed later closer to delivery date. So in the case of Hafiz & Ameer, 'their' pregnancies were assisted with serclages, both done by Dr Jem.

Why the other two-three miscarriages, you may ask? The challenge with serclage is that it is advisable to be done only after 12 weeks - just in case there are problems arising during this period, the pregnancy can be abandoned or the threatened abortions can happen naturally.

That was the case with me with the other miscarriages, including the twins. All at about 8 weeks, I started spotting & bleeding, hence tak sempat nak buat serclage pun.

I don't want to dwell about the costs, but suffice to say, that the treatment for the miscarriages (the D&C) and the prevention of it (the serclage) each cost almost the same if not slightly more than the cost of normal delivery.

Do I sound like I'm regretting it?

Not at all. Sometimes terkilan, undoubtedly - you know, the longing to hold & cuddle the lil ones..... But all the times eventually, I was and am rest assured that Allah knows best. Never mind the frustration, the emotions, the medical leaves, the costs and all; the unseen benefit obviously, as many have told, outweighs the sufferings.... the lil ones would wait & help me while crossing siratalmustakim (InsyaAllah!).

So far, I have no problem explaining my pregnancy to my 3 boys. In fact they have all long thought that I was pregnant (obviously because of the kebuncitan of my middle earth!!!). We appreciate each others companies most of the time. All 5 of us. We talk, shout, laugh, giggle & whisper as we wish. We celebrate birthdays. We hide each others favourite pillows. We make monkey faces to each other. We rub or scratch each others backs at bedtime. We fight over who gets the next McD Happy Meal toy. We challenge who will first finish the chore or homework. Sometimes, we munch snacks or dinner in front of the TV - much to the chagrin of Bibi. We are our own life simple pleasures. And I reckon, welcoming another extension to our family, the new lil one, won't be an issue with any one of us at all.

Now that I'm approaching the end of my 1st trimester with the current lil one, and that the serclarge had been successfully done - this time by Dr Ashar (the reason why I had to stay in hospital not so long ago), I truly hope and I continue to pray everyday that I will have a safe & sound pregnancy this time and the lil one will have a healthy development & growth within me. And I will continue to pray that Allah will bestow the lil one with taqwa & iman, to be successful both di dunia & akhirat.

For someone whose work amongst others include upholding personal privacy & confidentiality, it feels weird initially writing away on this subject which I consider quite personal & private. But while writing it away I may, the writing sure still sound more like relating of random facts rather than sharing of feelings.

But I guess that's me. More of a rational thinker than a feeler.

And the more I think about it, the more I eventually come to accept the rationale for this sharing - isn't it what this blog is for? In case I suffer memory lapse or senility in my much older days in the future, at least this story will prevail - as part of my Cerita Ibu, untuk anak2 ibu yg tersayang.

Spare a prayer that this mission of Ayah & Ibu will be one mission made possible this time around.


Salam
Ibu

Slippery when wet

I slipped n fell in the shower this morning when I wanted to take wudhu' for Subuh prayer..... bummer!!! Not good at all for my current condition. Kepala pun dah benjol sikit.

So back to rest in bed today.....

Pls spare a prayer for the safety of the lil' one.

Help me God!!! Ya mubdi....

Buku 555: Tags oh tags!!

I have a long list of hutang tags in my buku 555. Luckily they don't accumulate interest. For those who tagged me, pls do accept my apology. Not that I didn't want to answer them earlier, but sometimes I really don't know the answers, hence the deferment. Percayalah.... (chuckle!chuckle!!)

Orang kata, sikit2 lama jadi bukit. So let's take this settling of hutang one tag at a time.

The first one I'll try to answer is the one on ALL ABOUT YOUR HUSBAND, tagged by WanShana, March 30, 2009.

Why this one? It is not randomly selected you know. Here's why.....

In my previous entry re Abang Idin turned 13, I said "Since then (i.e. since Michelle withdrew from the Kindy), dia (i.e. Abang Idin) jadi pemalu sangat dengan perempuan sebenarnya. Saling tak tumpah macam Ayah (i.e. my hubby) dia zaman dolu-dolu. "

And one of Ayah's college buddies whose blog nickname is also AYAH has got to comment :

" Hehehehehehehehehe! "

Wahhhh.... sikit punya panjang tu dia punya mengilai! Which got me thinking, eh? tak betul kah my statement tu? I thought that was what I learned about Ayah (my hubby la kan?). Unless, as buddies, he (the blogger Ayah) knows something else? hmmm...musykil dah ibu sekarang ni. Which means, there is something hidden about ayah's personality & traits that I have not discovered?

This prompted me, eh... what else do or don't I know about my husband?

Hence, let me try to answer the tag. Ayah, Shana, Mr Engineer and everyone else, if you know a different answer to the questions, pls share hokeh?

Here goes:

1) He’s sitting in front of the TV, what is on the screen?

If he's watching alone: most probably HEROES, LOST or sitcoms or anything on discovery channel.

If the children are watching with him: Tom & Jerry, Ben10, Naruto, Pink Panther. LOL!!!!

IF ibu is watching with him: American Idol or CSI

2) You’re out to eat; what kind of dressing does he get on his salad?

1000 Island and Chili Sauce (Lingham).

Tapi he hardly chooses dishes that come with salad segala.....


3) What’s one food he doesn’t like?

Cake (he said).

p/s Baguss.... save duit sikit this coming November.


4) You go out to eat and have a drink. What does he order?

Food ~ Kuey Teow Goreng, preferably with seafood. With extra order: telur mata satu kasi taruh atas!!!

Drinks ~ Ice lemon tea


5) Where did he go to high school?

Sekolah tembak-menembak


6) What size shoes does he wear?

Rasa-rasanya 7 or 8.


7) If he was to collect anything, what would it be?

Any IT gadgets & peripherals. Dah berkotak2 dah ni....


8) What is his favorite type of sandwich?

Hmmmm.... I don't think he particularly likes sandwhich. Kuey Teow Goreng satu pls!


9) What would this person eat every day if he could?

Kuey Teow Goreng?!! Isn't it obvious by now?


10) What is his favorite cereal?

Errr.... you don't get it do you? Where got people eat keow teow with cereal one??!!!


11) What would he never wear?

A bra? ahahaha....


12) What is his favorite sports team?

Elek.... he's not into sports.


13) Who did he vote for?

Eh! Bukan ke undi itu rahsia?

Tapi kalau American Idol, maybe Danny Gokey.

Last time, Msian Idol, he expected Jacklyn Victor to win.

But he would never waste his money on this kind of voting.


14) Who is his best friend?

I don't know, seriously. Could it be me? I don't think so. I would expect him to say, I am more than a friend. Muahahaha.....


15. What is something you do that he wishes you wouldn’t do?

Picking my nose in front of him. Ahahaha...


16. What is his heritage?

Minang from his arwah father.

Chinese from his mother.


17. What is his favourite colour?

White & blue.


18. What is his habit?

Good one: Tidak melengah2 kan solat


Bad one: Asyik buat2 terlupa ajer kalau dia hutang Ibu!!! Tak aci lah weehh...

19. What is he proud of?

I'm not sure. I have to find out. He's very modest about a lot of things.


20. Lastly, do you think he will read this?

Yes he will, because I will make him do. Ahahaha....


SO .... that's all I know (a few I don't know) about my husband, based on the questions given above. Phewww.... sib baik tak tanya, berapa ramai ex-gf dia ada atau soalan2 yg sewaktu dengannya. Sbb I wouldn't know for sure.




Jelingan manja la konon...
(pic taken in a backstreet alley somewhere in Istanbul 2007)

Shana, one down. Many-many more to go....


Salam
Ibu

No longer a boy but not yet a man

Abang Idin turns 13 today, 7th April 2009.

I thought of scanning some favourite photos from childbirth right up till Std 6 Graduation and upload them here - but then realised too late that the photo albums are still nicely packed in 2 boxes and stored in our 'old' house. So niat tak kesampaian.

Abang Idin was small at birth, only 2.48kg. I carried him to full term with very little hassle (no morning sickness whatsoever). Just one push and out he ventured into this world. He is still small size todate. Reminds me of my own dwarf days - no difference. I only shot up drastically after puberty. So there is hope for Abang Idin to grow into a tall, tanned & handsome boy one fine day.

But size does not matter. I would like to think that he fits well into the description of "kecik2 cili padi".

He WAS short tempered, to say the least. Kecik2 dulu, cepat sangat naik hangin. Kalau marah, he would shout until urat leher semua keluar. The tremors could be felt by the whole Taman Hijau then. We used to call him Mat Kilau Junior. (Note: Kalau ada junior, mesti ada senior kan? And Mat Kilau was not a female - so guess who handed down this trait? LOL!!!)

He's an early bloomer in puppy love though. He first fell in love with Ariel the Little Mermaid (the Disney cartoon character) when he was barely 3. I might have blogged about this before. He was watching Disney House when suddenly he shrieked out to ask me, "IBUUUUUU...kenapa 'kote' Idin rasa macam sakit bila tengok Ariel the Little Mermaid ni?". I panicked. Bagai nak rak punya panick. Didn't know how to answer or react. Ayah was away, posted to Jeddah that time. Later that night when I called Ayah, all he answered was, "THAT's MY BOY!!!!". Pulak ....

When he was 5, after starting Kindy at Tadika Sinaran Bayu, he had his heart for a chinese classmate. I didn't know until one Sunday when we had our regular nasi lemak brunch by our fish pond just outside the dining hall. He picked up a wild flower and gave it to me. I was so thrilled, eh... kecik2 lagi dah romantic jugak anak aku nih? He asked me to put it in my hair (selit celah telinga) which I did happily for him. Then he said, dreamily, with glow in his eyes, that I looked so sweet with the flower in my hair, just like 'Michelle'. Huh??!!! It was a short lived infatuation though. One day Michelle accidentally fell into the small gutter while playing during recess and her mother withdrew her from the Kindy. Abang Idin didn't quite find any one else to replace Michelle thereafter. When I asked, he innocently answered, "Yang lain semua gelap-gelap, tak cute macam Michelle!" GULP!!!

Since then, dia jadi pemalu sangat dengan perempuan sebenarnya. Saling tak tumpah macam Ayah dia zaman dolu-dolu.

He's also considerably matured in thinking for his age progressively. When he was 6, he approached his Pak Long who had just bought a new car and asked his Pak Long left, right & centre about not just how much the car cost, but whether that car was brand new or second hand, purchased direct from car dealer or owner, whether he purchased it cash or credit, how much the loan interest was, whether the car was insured and for how much, with which insurance company, how often the car needed servicing, did it come with AAA membership or not, if not who would tow the car away if it broke down along the highway, yadayadayya.... Suffice to say, Pak Long was dumbfounded and turned to us, "Korang bagi makan apa budak ni?". hahahaha....

He was once voted Best Story Teller at Kindy - don't know what he klentong his teacher & classmates la kan?

His primary school days were not short of typical childhood mischievousness and boyish pranks. Never got into any serious or succumbed to being bullied despite his small size. Why? Cerdik! He always have much bigger and taller friends as his 'body guards'.

His maturity in thinking persevered through the observation of others. In my last conversation with his tuition teacher just before PMR, Mr Shan said he had never met a 12 year old quite like Abang Idin before. When they have issues for discussions (as part of the reading & comprehension exercise), Abang Idin would come up with all sorts of reasoning, theories, hypotheses, comparisons and serious probing questions which often caught him off guard, unprepared. Oh well.. other than cartoon & sports, he likes watching the national geography and discovery channel, and he reads a lot from boys adventure stories, to sports almanacs and also history of the world, the planet, the universe and even the secrets of Pharaohs and Tutankhamen. So that sums it all I guess.

A die hard Man Utd fan, who still perhaps deep down wishes he can be a pro footballer one day. Actually Abang Idin, if you can't join them, you just buy/invest in the club in the future ok?

********************************************

12 years gone by in a blink of an eye.

Typically, we would have one or two months or at least a few weeks of anticipation in preparation for his birthday - what presents to give him, what kind of birthday cake he would like, should it be home made birthday cards or off the rack options, etc, etc. Every year we would crack our head; do we want to hold a party at home/elsewhere OR just send the cake to his school OR both? Almost every year, we ended up doing both. We would buy a cake & pack some snacks & drinks into little packages - like party packs minus the toys - to be sent to his school so that he could celebrate with his classmates. Then we would hold a "party" - most of the time just amongst us either at home or some eateries somewhere, sometimes with extended families (nenek, atuk, mak long, pak long segala... cum doa selamat), sometimes with our regular gettogether friends & their families (cuma baca doa sebelum makan...Allahuma baariqlana.....ehehe). And oh yes... these parties ... may not necessarily be held on his birthdate spot on. It's Msia, we do have inclement weathers kan?

This year, it is his first bday away from home.

I'm feeling blue. Can't hug, smooch & tickle him when the clock struck 12 as we usually did in the past.

My first born celebrating his birthday on his own, hopefully with his classmates or dormmates.

Alahai...sedih la pulak ibu sorang ni.

Nevertheless, we still bought him a cake, choc cappucino - his favourite. 3 birthday cards (off the rack) - one from Hafiz & Ameer. One from Ibu. One from Ayah. And a cute package with teddy bear print & little ribbon with mini birthday gifts inside - a mini wooden yellow pet cat from Ameer, a mini sunflower magnetized photoframe from Hafiz and a keychain with a mini black 'Converse' shoe from Ibu (it was printed as 'Conserve' though...hahaha). Dropped all these off at his school's guard house at about 6pm together with some snacks & drinks (not in little packages this time). Pandai2 la dia share ramai2 with his friends.

He called me right after Maghrib and thanked me happily. He sounded quite excited. I told him the yellow pet cat was from Ameer when he almost shouted, nanti-nanti....don't tell, he hadn't open the gift pack yet! Lerrrr.... anti climax betul la Ibu ni.

Ayah bought his gift during Abang Idin's outing on Sunday - a YONEX badminton racket - and Abang Idin brought it back to hostel same day, grinning from ear to ear. So the 'real' birthday gift is due only from Ibu now. He had hinted his boots were tight already. Hmm.... tunggu ek?

Meanwhile, I hope he would enjoy the cake, snacks & drinks with his friends tonite. And treasure the mini gifts from us. Mini they may be, but symbolic of our warm thoughts, well wishes and unconditional love for him.

By the way, Hafiz wrote on the birthday card, "Yo Bro! Have you found a new awek at SEPINTAR yet? Her name is.....?". LOL!!! Hafiz, hafiz..... he even said out loud his wish for Abang Idin when we signed the bday cards, "I wish Abang Idin will be FREED from Asrama!!!!" . Despite the sibling rivalry, he must be missing his not-so-big brother.

So there you go Abang Idin. We all miss you. Actually not just on your birthday, but everyday too.

May you find lots of success, happiness & healthy living for the years to come. Ibu doakan Abang Idin sentiasa dipelihara dalam keimanan supaya selamat dunia & akhirat. Many happy returns.



My 13 year old Abang Idin - no longer a boy, not yet a man.

Ambition vs Fantasy

I received a call from Ameer's kindy Teacher today, just some updates on this & that.

BUT ...... ( there's always a but somewhere, or else why would I want to blog about it?)

She lodged her concern about Ameer's response on "what do you want to be when you grow up". Curiously enough, I asked, what was Ameer's response that she was so concern about? In my heart, nothing psychotic I hope!

Apparently, Ameer told her, he wanted to be a NINJA !!!! Oh la la.

I laughed & laughed my hearts out, leaving no airtime in between for her to continue because honestly, I thought it was so damn funny. I just couldn't help it and so indulge myself in laughing out loud (alone) for quite a while. I thought that was such a brave enough an attempt by Ameer and an honest one at it too. How many kids would actually be open enough to share their personal vision such as that. At most, it would be the well rehearsed answers as practiced at home - I want to be a teacher, police, ustazah, lawyer, accountant, doctor, architect, etc. Rarely ever - celebrity chef, hairstylist, pro footballer or Akademi Fantasia winner. And a Ninja from Rawang? Wow! That must be the first for the Teacher.

The feeling obviously was not mutual - at all! The Teacher said, even after showing pictures of various occupations to the class and what these people do, yet when she asked Ameer again, Ameer still asked how come there's no photo of a Ninja.

Suffice to say, Teacher was not happy. Teacher was concerned. Teacher was afraid that Ameer could not differentiate between reality & fantasy. Teacher wanted me (this Ibu)to help Ameer to have a better grasp of what's real and what's not.

Oh oh.... I'm in trouble. Not about Ameer's ambition. But in dealing with the expectation of the Teacher.

Hello..... Ameer just turned 5 last November. Technically therefore, he's only 5 years & 4 months young OK?. I see nothing seriously flawed with him sharing that kind of 'personal vision'. Having 3 boys of my own and several nephews & nieces of various ages, I've indeed heard of many others too that are quite not so ordinary, namely rock star, hairstylist, makeup artist, antique cars collector, professional footballer, professional boxer, F1 driver, CSI, pest controller, locksmith, Jimmy Neutron, President, Hannah Montana and Ariel (the little mermaid) to name a few. So shall I just say... heh... this types of childhood ambitions kind of 'run in the family'? hahahah..... I think that will scare the Teacher even more.

Or is it quite obvious that I am not as kiasu as some other parents ke? That's besides the point.

Seriously, I think what should interest the Teacher more was to explore & find out WHY my little Ameer wants to become a NINJA and what about NINJA that excites or inspires him? The standard questions of 4 Wives, 1 Waitress & 1 husband (Who, What, Where, When, Why and How) would have done the trick, I think. KAN?

When Ameer got home from school and I asked him about the NINJA episode, of course his immediate response was to DENY. "Eh! No! Ameer dah tukar balik macam last week - Ameer nak jadi Doktor lah, tak nak jadi Ninja. Sebab Teacher kata, in gheal world, mana ada NINJA".

Sad... there is NINJA in the real world la Teacher! May be in our culture not something that we want to lure our children into BUT the fact remains, NINJAs do exist okay Teacher? Because the under world is part of the real world. But that would be too complicated to explain to Ameer right? Or you seriously don't think NINJA exist in the real world? Sigh.....

So Q & A between Ameer & Ibu ensued:

Ibu: Why do you think becoming a NINJA is exciting, Ameer?

Ameer: Because NINJA helps fight off evil people and dia protect the not so strong people tau Ibu.

Ibu: Oh.... ye ker? Macam mana dia protect other people tu?

Ameer: NINJA tu kan Ibu, dia kena practice ghajin-ghajin sampai dia kuat tau, then dia can protect other people la. And he must eat well, macam Naruto tu.

(I have no idea what Naruto eats okay?)

Ibu: Ye ker? Kenapa NINJA kena protect other people tu?

Ameer: Ibu tak tau ker? Kan ada ghamai oghang jahat kat luar. Evil. Macam kena bully ker.... So NINJA akan rescue la oghang yang kena kacau tu.

(So who says cartoon is all that bad?)

Ibu: Ohhhhh.....

Ameer: Ha! Ibu dah faham?

Yikes!!!

Ibu: Ah... yes! So, Ameer nak jadi NINJA, sebab Ameer nak protect orang baik dari orang jahat eh?

Ameer: Ya. Tapi kalau nak jadi NINJA, kena practice rajin-rajin dulu (sambil buka langkah ala-ala martial arts macam dalam Naruto tu) baru la kuat. Lepas tu baru la boleh protect orang lain.

Ibu: Ah... betul....

Ameer: Tapi sekarang Ameer dah tukar la Ibu. Cikgu kata takde sekolah ajar jadi NINJA. So now Ameer nak jadi Doktor. Macam last week yang Ameer ada cakap kat Ibu tu. Tukar jadi Doktor balik lah.

And he hurried off upstairs to change his school uniform. Quickly did his homework without being asked. So that he can have uninterrupted time to watch his latest favourite cartoon, the Tom & Jerry show. That's Ameer for you. Business first, leisure ensues. Straight A's in his monthly tests thus far, except for lukisan.



Yes... Ameer's short lived ambition involves fantasy, no doubt. But based on noble hopes & desires, isn't it? The one thing that the Teacher could have done then, had she enquired that bit further, was to help translate & guide my child to similar "peace keeping" & "protect others" kind of occupations which are more common and real (to her) than NINJA. Polis ke, askar ke, FRU ke, lawyer ke, martial arts instructor ke, Menteri Pertahanan ke, NGO activist ke, UN Envoy peace keeper ke .... whatever la... whatever "REAL" to her la kan? That would still be a better attempt than simply pouring cold water to such a noble heart desire from an innocent child.

I grew up at an era when most parents & teachers similarly expected their kids to choose the standard occupation. Careers in arts, culinary, music, literature, professional sports for example, were not only unheard of, but almost a taboo especially if they are considered "ishhh.... tak boleh, kita orang Malaysia/Melayu/Islam" or simply if it's "non-money makers".

Somehow, as a child and up till form 5, I managed to 'stray'. I always came up with the not so standard answer, from the very-very low on approval rating (perempuan joget, no kidding!) to the neutral ones (welfare officer, lawyer, lecturer, engineer - boring stuff?) and right up to the ironic ones (nuclear physicst, air stewardess - ironic because I'm not that great in maths at all for the former and bukan ler lawa, tinggi lampai & sopan santun bebeno for the latter.... hahaha). During the interview for scholarship (at age 17), I made the interviewers fell off their chair - laughing, as I told them I wanted to go to US simply because I wanted so much to go to Disneyland, nothing else. Interestingly enough, the interviewers said, I've got "personal vision", and they like.....

What I ended up as today? A career totally unheard of by my kindergarten teacher back then.

So adakah ini satu fenomena Bapak Borek, Anak Rintik? Or more appropriately, Ibu bintik-bintik, Anak polka dot?

Not quite.

I think the world today offers a lot more than the standard occupations - unimaginable years ago. And who knows what the future holds?

The challenge I offer to teachers out there; please.....

ASK MORE THAN TELL

For without exploring further what's on their mind, you would hastily reach at a conclusion that is only based on half of the picture. The half that is in your mind and yours only. NOT in the mind of the person that you should be exploring further - the child, the student.

I don't mean to be overly protective - but I think a child deserves some extra time to be heard first, rather than simply to be told off.

To anak-anak Ibu, BE WHAT YOU WANT TO BE so long you are happy with your choices and do your best in your chosen field (subject always to 'di jalan yang benar, halal dan baik). Bertebaran lah dimuka bumiNYA, rezeki itu ada di mana-mana, InsyaALLAH... I will pray that you will be guided, be protected, be reminded and be successful always, dunia & akhirat.


Salam,
Ibu

p/s

To Abang Idin, if you indeed choose that route, I don't mind getting complimentary pass to sit with the Man U players in their designated bench. Seriously.

To Hafiz, if you are still undecided which car to spare one for me from amongst all those in your future collection - berbuih dah mulut ibu cakap, I will easily settle for the Volkswagen Van okay? The ori version. Nothing more expensive.

To Ameer, the options are plenty still. No worries my boy.

BORED

I'm supposed to 'rest in bed'.

(Hmmm.... Shana, if you are reading this, for me, that is such a tall order, okay?!)

By right, there's so many things that I can do with this loooooonnnnggg forgiven period of being away from office. Plenty of time to finish off story books while I put up my feet & rest, plenty of opportunities to craft quiz papers for Hafiz & Ameer, plenty of minutes for blogging & facebooking, plenty of hours for unnecessary rearranging the can-no-longer-fit blouses & dresses in my wardrobe. Yup! plenty of things to do. (Unfortunately, flicking thru recipe books & trying those recipes out SHALL not (yet) become one possibilities... sigh.... mana boleh diri lama2? akakaka...excuse, excuse, excuse....)

But by left (vs right? got it? aiya... never mind...), I choose to feel bored.

We all have to choose our attitude. And today ... I choose to feel bored.

Other than the ever-so-challenging Bahasa Arab Tahun 2 homework that I've been helplessly helping Hafiz to finish ( do u know 'mirwahaton' means kipas/fan, 'suraton' means gambar/photo & 'dulabon' means almari/cupboard? now you know.... ), nothing around the house inspires or excites me this very minute.

And the fact that I can't face the notebook too long - because sitting up right is not equivalent to the 'resting in bed' kind of posture therefore not good for my lower abdomen - render me even more helpless.

AHhh... let it be. Let me see how long I will last with this attitude that I want to choose today - feeling bored.

Shortly, Ameer should be back from Kindy. And I am very sure I have another daunting task at hand - to copy & draw a few more transformer robots ( mak oiii!! didn't realise there are so many of them!). At least, there's an opportunity for me to be given a double or triple star for my drawing that are considered so out of this world by Ameer. He even complimented me yesterday, U r so HEBAT Ibu! ( Ameer actually used the word HEBAT!!! Funny eh?! I did't ask if he knew the meaning. It's not often you get a compliment from a 6 year old these days. So it didn't matter whether he knew the meaning or not. hehehe.... )

So what do I know. My feeling bored attitude helps me fill another page of a boring entry. That's quite an achievement for someone who's feeling bored.

I soooo wanna grab that gingerbread cookies and dunk 'em in nescafe tarik. But at this hour? Hmmmm....




E-boo

p/s Ayah... if you are reading this, beras dah (nak) habis, telur (memang) dah habis. Even if I want to find alternative food - cat food pun dah habis daaa.... and as I'm strictly to rest in bed, hehehe.... nampak gaya, balik nanti Abang kena singgah Tesco la ya?

Al-Fatihah : Dr Haliza Shafie

I was almost dozing off to sleep out of boredom yesterday afternoon at the ward, when I was snapped out of it by the sheer mention of the name "Dr Haliza Shafie" over TV3 6-something news.

My heart sank. I managed to mumble, " Innalillah hi wa inna ilayhi rojiun ..."

It was only last Monday when Ayah & I passed by her clinic en route to the surau at APSH that I told Ayah we'd better call her nurse to check on Ameer's vaccination schedule. I was quite sure there must be one due for 6 year old. I felt like dropping by her clinic there & then but it was quite late and I didn't want to bother the nurse whom I supposed would already be tired by that hour of the day and would probably be ready to call it a day anytime.

Little that I knew that THAT was my own version of a hazy premonition of some sort. Of course, it might just be a coincidence. But I do get a lot of this kind of coincidences, and I sometimes wonder if I should work harder to sharpen my 6th sense.

The news left my jaw dropped for a long while - shocked, denial, sad - all emotions jumbled up at the same time. I called Ayah but no answer. I had no clue who else to call to share the gruesome news I just overheard from the tube.

When Ayah arrived with the two musketeers later that night, I shared with him the news. He was speechless. We accessed Star online and the news on the "Missing Doctors" was already uploaded.

This morning, when Dr Ashar came for his morning rounds, he asked if I've heard the news. I told him that she was our 3 children's Paed and he nodded in silence. As he removed the IV needle from my hand, he calmly confirmed the news about the discovery of the body and shared some insights into the initial search that had started a few days back in which he was also involved. I had to bite my lips to control my tears.

At this juncture, images of Dr Haliza - in her oh-so-familiar professional yet very calm, caring, feminine, motherly gentle voice & gesture, giving both Ayah & I the much needed advise and assurance that it's okay to learn about caring for babies & toddlers as we go along and not to be too scared about learning it from real life experience - kept flashing in and out of my mind uncontrollably.

Allahyarhammah Dr Haliza was first recommended to me by Dr Jem (my gynae, who's also Dr Ashar's wife) to be my first born Paediatrician way back in 1996 . I've not heard of Dr Haliza before, but how could I refuse a sound recommendation from Dr Jem? Since then, Dr Haliza has been all of our 3 boys' Paed, right from Abang Idin, then to Hafiz, then to Ameer.

She was the one who gave all our 3 boys their vaccinations & inoculation, the jabs, the tickles and also the stern warnings not to consume too much ice cream & lollies. She was the one who attended to Abang Idin when he had pneumonia when he was barely 4 months old. She was the one who attended to Hafiz with all the common baby illnesses as listed in Johnson & Johnson's baby book (from jaundice to cradle cap to pink eye to colic to diarrhea, you name it, Hafiz got it). She also talent spotted Ameer as 'one tough cookie' as he hardly ever cried each time she injected those needles into his cute little butt or arm - so unlike his two elder brothers who cried the whole Ulu Klang river.

I had no doubt before this that if I were fated to have another one, insyaAllah, it would surely still be her to summarise the Apgar scores, to hold and cuddle the little fingers, hands & butt of my newborn in the same loving and caring way that she had done for all my 3 boys.

But of course, we could only plan. We are all still subject to the Master Plan.

To the family of the late Dr Haliza Shafie, our sincere takziah and condolence. May Allah bless her soul. Semuga Allahyarhammah ditempatkan bersama orang-orang yang beriman dan beramal soleh, insyaAllah....

AL-FATIHAH .....


:(
Ibu

p/s To Dr Jem, if by a miracle of chance you do drop by this humble blog entry, I must thank you from the bottom of my heart (long overdue) for introducing Allahyarhammah Dr Haliza to our family. We shall miss her dearly....

A quickie

I'm referring to this update ( what did you have in mind? aiyerrrrrr...... )

Some good news really.....

1. Abang Idin got accepted into boarding school, syukur alhamdulillah.

2. The 'tax man' had reconciled my account & sent another letter saying it is LHDN that owe me some money.... and actually ... they don't owe me anymore, because I received the check in the mail already yesterday .... yabedabedooooo.....
(p/s Abang, sorry darling ... I'm not giving up any sum for your car repair, okay?)

So ... nanti lah...senang2 I'll write more. Right now, busy maaaaa.....


E-boo

Love Is In The Air

We've stopped celebrating Valentine's Day loooooonnnng ago.

But I hope Ayah will read this in time, because I don't mind getting a box of Ferraro Rocher tomorrow, really ..... hehehehe...... I'm sure the boys would enjoy them too.

AYAH!!!!! Bring 'em on Ayah..... you don't have to worry about my weight control regime because it has gone awry anyway! LOL!!!

Home away from home

Abang Idin asked me not so long ago, "Are you trying to send me away?".

This question was in response to my never ending propaganda (who, what, where, when, why & how) to encourage him to go to boarding school for his secondary level education. Suffice to say, both Ayah & I are convinced boarding school is a good option, if given the opportunity.

My answer, or defense really, was quite simple & straight forward.

"I am not TRYING to send you away Abang. I AM SENDING YOU AWAY!!! "

Hahahaha.... how cruel.

Unfortunately, as expected, he has not been accepted in the first round of placement. My friends have already alerted me on some of the key criteria for first priority of selection. While he qualifies as from sekolah luar bandar ( RAWANG kan???!!!), somehow he falls just outside the category of "kurang mampu" from household income perspective. If only we can attach records of all the loans payable to the payslips as well. Aiya....

There was another way I was told. Alumni quota for parents for entrance into former schools subject to certain requirements. I swear I could easily fulfill all the criteria (being kaki menyebok from time to time in the alumni committees & various alumni activities). Unfortunately, I hailed from ALL-GIRLS boarding school. And sex-change is out of the question!

Ayah .... he was from sekolah tembak menembak yg berpagar duri tapi tidak berasrama. PULAK!!! So no alumni quota from Ayah's alma mater.

Another way, they say, is to appeal.

And so we wrote an appeal letter - addressed to a nearby school jer lah..... hehehe.... one new sekolah berasrama penuh kat Rawang ni hah.

He was indeed called for an interview. And he did go for the interview albeit like dalam keterpaksaan. Kesian anak ibu....

Results were supposed to be sent via post by end of January. As I am typing this, we haven't received it in the mail yet. And so the waiting game continues....

But before I pen off, let me share with you one of the interview questions and how Abang Idin said he answered it.

Cikgu asked: "Kalau awak kena buli, apa awak akan buat?"

(He's considered small size for his age, so I suppose the question reflected a valid concern)

Idin answered: "Saya buli dia balik!"

Cikgu: "Eh! Tak boleh.... kalau buli-buli, nanti kena buang sekolah!"

*************************

Idin's justification later to Ayah was: "Sapa suruh dia start buli dulu?!!"

I bet you the cikgu must have been shell-shocked with such gutsy answer coming from such a small size boy! I hope he noticed Idin's red belt taekwondo certificate and that response was supposed to be translated as "I will retaliate for self defense purpose only, cikgu" instead of "Saya tak takut dan boleh buli orang jugak cikgu!!"

Alahai.... what do you think? Will he get the placement?


Salam
E-boo

p/s I have yet to pull any cable. Sebab tak de cable pun! hahaha. Anyone with strong enough cable to help me out?

p/s I do think Abang Idin's answer was honest & quite original though. Very unpretentious. Reminds me of my answer during the interview for scholarship last time, why do you want to go US and not UK? I said because I wanted so much to go to Disneyland! hehehe.... I got the scholarship. But that was yearsssss ago. Maybe creativity & innocence in responses was much more appreciated then. We'll just have to wait & see if history will repeat itself. If not repeating, pls see previous p/s above. LOL !!!!

Let the strumming begin ....

Text message exchanges with Abang Idin today :

3.46 pm (Idin)
Boleh beli gitar hero punya controller usb? Abg bayar

3.46 pm (Ibu)
Apa tu?

3.47 pm (Idin)
Gitar hero punya controller.

3.50 pm (Idin)
Usb compatible

*****************

I have no idea what he is asking for. He's willing to pay for it though, quite a twist!

He's been asking to resume his guitar lessons. Classical, he said. Can't recall what I registered him for before this.

Frankly, not sure if it's a genuine interest OR an excuse to escape "being sent away" to boarding school.

I think - regardless (genuinely interested vs escape from boarding school), I can still make arrangement for him to pursue the guitar lessons while still going (or being "sent away" as he puts it) to boarding school. If there is a will, there is a way.

Yes, I am a mean Ibu with a very strong will. You don't have a choice, do you Abang Idin? You can't choose your mother. HAHAHAHAHAH .......

p/s Some girls will surely fall weak on their knees with your strumming, Abang Idin. I mean, after you can strum bebetol la.... a song that people can decipher!

Undecided

I can't decide what to blabber on; amongst the bloody vicious attack on Gaza or Anugerah Juara Lagu or Crispy Chicken Chop.

The first filled with repressed spiteful anger, the next with high spirits & jubilant and the last, a slight dent caused to the weak heart of an Ibu.

I don't know which one to start first.

Or maybe it's my usual antic to defer (or rather procrastinate) .... until the density and intensity of the feelings associated with each topic dissipate.

I guess at this hour..... that shall be it. Defer until later.

Memendam rasa.



Salam
Ibu

Tax

Yes, tax ... not tags just yet.

I thought I received a Datukship award via a letter recently. On the envelope it was printed "Urusan Seri Paduka Baginda". If Shah Rukh Khan can get it, why can't I?

It turned out to be a letter from the inland revenue board - the 'tax man', alleging that I owe them money, insufficient schedular tax deduction remitted for income from taksiran 2007.

Not 100. Not 200. Not 1,000. Not even 2,000. BUT close to 20,000 okay!!!! And yes, RM, not rupiah.

I stood frozen reading the penyata. Can't be right. Can't be. Cannot be.

I am very sure I do not have any other source of income other than the meagre monthly income from selling groceries, seafood & poultry at the kedai runcit where I work.

I don't do direct selling. Nor have I made any fortune from skim cepat kaya coz I have not joined any (yet).

I don't think my collection of handbags, shoes. scarves, lipsticks, makeups & Jeffrey Archer novels can be considered as revenue generating assets (just yet).

And I swear I do not have any siblings or relatives residing in Sicily doing laundry business.

And no....my cats & kittens ( now totalling 14 altogether ) do not offer me any protection money whatsoever.

And yes.... all that was due as monthly schedular tax has been dutifully deducted from my monthly income & remitted. And as far as I can recall according to my taksiran for the year under question, the tax authorities were supposed to refund to me RM200. Not me owing them, oi.

RM20,000 !!! Mana nak cari? Even if I got it stashed somewhere (where? tell me if you know) or receive rezeki terpijak (kot2 la Shah Rukh Khan got winds that I mention his name here & hence wanted to reward me? ) - you think I should depart with that much money & surrender to IRB without any challenge & defense?

Hishhh... membazir tenaga & waktu tengok TV jer tau si IRB ni.

But somehow I can't blame them for eagerly wanting to do their job, can I? But they really should go after those rumah urut operators instead of me la.... shouldn't they? After all I just sell vegies, chicken, fish & maggie mee maaaa...... don't have any other additional income whatsoever pun. Haiyerr...

Never mind la. To memendekkan cerita rather than memendekkan nyawa, I will simply ask our Finance Dept to provide official verification that all monthly schedular tax has been remitted on timely basis. They said they have copies of receipts as proof or payment. Well & good. It should set the record straight that it is IRB records that needs correction. I hope.

Do you think, after that, they would refund me the RM200? Is that enough to buy me PGL ticket?


E-boo

Salam Maal Hijrah & Happy New Year

I typed the title of this entry on the eve of maal hijrah, so as to lock the date.

New year's resolution moving forward into Ma'al Hijrah?

Read more
Learn more
Recite more
Pray more
Practice more
Help others more
Exercise more
Talk (of nonsense & merapu) less

Simple eh? But non committal enough you think?

By right any objectives must be SMART i.e. specific, measurable, achievable/agreed, realistic & timebound, isn't it?

But it's ok ( to me ) - because the standards of achievement will not be based on worldly desires rather really towards getting closer to Allah swt. So I must say, every little helps for me. It would be meaningless if I achieve the specified standards that I set for myself but which carries no credit towards the ultimate objective of getting closer to my creator.

And so I shall uphold my new year's resolution as above.

Help me God.



Salam,
E-boo

Tagged - 16 random facts

16 only? Alah..... kacang la Shana oiiii.... hehehe... I know, I have a series of tags that I haven't answered yet. Most of them from Shana by the way.

Anyway, before I begin, about this tag thing - it reminds me of one of my childhood games in Kg Pasir, Johor Bahru dolu-dolu, it's called RAM-RAM-RIT. It was quite close to 'police & thieves' (which masa kecik2 dulu sounded like 'police century' to me, hahahaha!!!)- whereby the 'police' would run after the 'thieves' , 'cuit' one of the thieves & that particular thief in turn became the police and must then run to catch the next thief. Except that this RAM-RAM-RIT - there's no police no thief, but still with one running after a few others with the intention to 'cuit' one target and the target would in turn become the one to catch the next target.

How did the initial person got chosen to be the chaser or the catcher in RAM RAM RIT? Easy..... All players, boys & girls alike, gathered around. Someone would volunteer to held out his or her palm, and everyone then touched the center of the palm with everyone's index fingers. And then we all sang our hearts out:

RAM RAM RIT
ANAK UDANG KENA SEPIT
NAK KAWIN TAKDE DUIT
CARI BINI ATAS BUKIT

(No...I don't think Pak Malim, kucing ray yg alim crafted this pantun... hehe!)

Immediately at the end of the pantun, we would all pull back our index fingers. And the one whose finger got caught ( yakni di cekup!) by the palm extender would automatically be considered the first catcher. I.e. He or she would have to run after the rest of the gang who have to run helter skelter bertempiaran tunggang terbalik pusing pokok, balik reban, belakang garage; with the intention to cuit someone. Then that someone (yang dicuit) would be the next catcher. And so on, and so forth. Until today, I have no clue what the rationale behind this game is, but it sure was a lot of fun. And besides, as kids, who said there is any need to rationalise to have fun? What I can still remember, it sure looked like a good scene for MILO to sponsor: "Minum Milo Anda Jadi Sihat & Kuat!". It was a damn good aerobic exercise for us kids.

Zaman dolu - dolu.... Senangkan? No software to be downloaded, no battery to be re-charged and no worries of being limited to 2 or 3 players only. Mainlah seramai mana, and sampai bila suka - which always ended up sampai sweaty & smelly, sampai petang hari or sampai Mak sapa2 jerit, "Oiiii!! Balik mandi!!! Dah nak masuk maghrib ni!!!! "

But of course, RAM RAM RIT being an outdoor game, it was surely subject to inclement weather.

Hmmm... tu lah dia.... tags... always remind me of RAM RAM RIT. Dolu dolu physically have to cuit a friend who then will have to chase and cuit another friend. Today, we can still do this through the cyber world, through cyber touch. RAM RAM RIT di alam maya!

Woiitt! Bukan Maya Karin yerk! Cehhh....

Eh! Wahhhh.... Jauhnya digressed. What was it that I have to do just now? Tag eh? What kind of tag this time? 16 random facts about myself?

Alah..... dah pukul 3 pagi dah ni.... tak kuasaaaaaaa la pulak nak jawab tag! Esok je lah Shana ek? InsyaAllah, before tahun hijrah yg baru.

hehehe...Jgn marah Shana, nanti kena jual over the counter, AS IS basis. hehe...

Ta-ta.... LOL!!!!

Makcik Bloggers Meet

Huh.... nak kena update jugak ker?

For immediate dosage, hop on to WanShana's or MrsNordin's blog. You'll catch some glimpses of us makcik2 and you'll also be linked to other blogs' update on the same.

As for the same story but from my perspective.... uhuhu... nanti sat kompol idea, no?

hehehe... i have to keep up with my reputation maaa... bagi blog bersawang sikit before bagi update. hehehe...

Salam...
Ibu

p/s dah tak jadi cinderella dah.... yeayyyy!!!

Missing much

Ameer: Ibu.... Do you miss Bibi?

Ibu: Oh yes.... very much! Indeed! (while wiping off the sweat on my forehead so that it didn't drop onto the dinner place mat that i've just wiped clean. penat woi lap place mat... hehehe)

Ameer: Ameer pun miss Bibi....

Ibu: Ye ker?

Ameer: Hmmmmm ....

Ibu: Shian Ameer. So.... what are you going to do?

Ameer: Nanti, bila Bibi dah 'balik' ke Ghawang, Ameer nak makan aeghoplane dia!

Ibu: HUH? Makan aeroplane Bibi?

Ameer: Ha'ah... ya!

Ibu: Why?

Ameer: So that aeghoplane Bibi ghosak!

Ibu: Kenapa pulak nak rosakkan aeroplane Bibi?

Ameer: So that dia tak boleh pergi Indonesia lagi. Duduk sini jer dengan Ameer kat Ghawang!

Fuiyooo.... sampai begitu sekali Ameer miss Bibi.

And heh.... sebut2 pasal makan... macam nak perli Ibu jer Ameer tak cukup makan in Bibi's absence? Ishhh......


Salam,
Ibu
who's still sweating much, tak menang tangan.

Lapuran lintas langsung dari Kuantan

Hari ini masuk hari ketiga semenjak bibi meninggalkan Malaysia untuk pulang bercuti ke kampung halamannya di Demak, Semarang, Indonesia.

'Pemergian' beliau .... sebenarnya.... masih belum terasa.

Mengapa?

Kerana kami anak beranak sekarang sedang melepak di MS Garden Hotel di Kuantan, mengekori Ayah yang terpaksa bertugas di luar kawasan musim raya qurban ni. Atas dasar keperihatinan seorang isteri mithali (konon....), Ibu sanggup berkorban sama, maka tak lah 'balik kampung' untuk raya tahun ni. Sebaliknya kami semua melepak di Kuantan.

Pagi semalam selepas Ayah selesai solat Aidul Adha, kami anak beranak bertolak ke rumah Mak Uda yang cuma sepelaung saja dari hotel ni. Merasalah juga juadah hari raya seperti rendang, lontong, kuah kacang dan segala. Tok (ibu Ayah, ibu mertua Ibu) juga sebenarnya masih di rumah Mak Uda. Jadi suasana hari raya masih dapat dinikmati sedikit sebanyak walau tidak sehiruk pikuk suasana raya yang lazimnya di rumah Mak Long di Damansara. Petang semalam, Ibu membawa empat orang anak-anak Mak Uda (semuanya perempuan la pula!!! Alangkah bahagia nya....) dengan tiga orang anak-anak ibu pergi menonton cerita animasi Bolt. Seronok rasanya.

Hari ini, di saat menulis lintas langsung ini pula, anak-anakku yang bertiga itu sedang terkinja2 dan menjerit2 sesama sendiri, dilamun 'terlebih perasan' menjadi juara lumba kereta atau wira Jepun yang terulung. Bahana bermain PS2 di bilik hotel.

Pagi tadi, tidak seperti hari hari yang terdahulu, cuaca cerah - memberi peluang kepada mereka bertiga bersuka ria di kolam renang hotel, tak ubah seperti itik jumpa air. Bezanya cuma itik pandai berenang. Ibu mengambil peluang mengemaskini sedikit polisi dan menghantar email melalui akses internet tanpa wayar di tepi kolam - sambil menjeling-jeling "anak-anak itik" itu.

Kedudukan hotel ni memang strategik, hanya beberapa langkah saja jaraknya dari Berjaya Mall. Ada restoran makanan segera, ada panggungwayang, ada spa, ada Parkson, dan macam-macam lagi. Jadi tak gusarlah Ayah meninggalkan Ibu dan anak-anaknya di sini, kerana beliau sudah sedia maklum dengan Ibu yang boleh 'survive' dengan cemerlang kalau ditinggalkan berdekatan pusat membeli-belah. Alangkah bagusnya kalau Ayah berbuat demikian sambil meninggalkan kad kredit 'supplementary' sekali? Tapi itu lah... dia memang sudah sedia maklum kepandaian isterinya. Jadi mungkin dia harus berwaspada atas kewibawaan dan kecemerlangan Ibu dalam acara membeli-belah.

Dengan gambaran di atas, tidak hairanlah kalau pemergian bibi setakat ini masih belum terasa.

Apakah panas akan terus berpanjangan hingga ke petang? Oh tak mungkin.... kan musim tengkujuh ni! Gerimis dan hujan lebat pasti menyusul tak lama lagi.

Kita nanti kan saja lah ulasan berita mutakhir bagaimana Ibu menangani pemergian bibi pulang bercuti.

Buat masa sekarang ..... kita enjoyyyyy dulu..... muahahahahaha......

Home Science 101

I was up till almost 3 am last nite (eh, morning?) helping Bibi to pack her luggage. Yes - she's going home for her biannual vacation this afternoon for 2 months.

Temp maid service has been arranged but she'll only be available from 20th Dec onwards though. I'll be on leave the whole week next week, so I reckon - no problemo. The week after, I'll most probably drop the kids at Kak Long's house, so no prob too I hope.

After the packing and after I taught Bibi how to lock & unlock the suitcase, it was Bibi's turn to give me a few pointers on this and that. Baju itu di laci ini, seluar itu di almari sana. Sabun2 dan 'pewangi' (softener) di tepi situ. Rempah2 nya di sini, bawang2 & kentang2 nya di situ, minyak masaknya di bawah ni. 'Kompor'nya, kalau di cuci, hati-hati jangan sentuh di situ. Singkinya begitu begini.

Half way through, it hit me........

OH MY GOD!

Bibi is going home in less than 24 hours. And I've just officially discovered where the rempah-ratus and the onions are kept?

And OH MY GOD!!

We started using the new washing machine since we moved in a few months back. I don't even know how to operate THIS washing machine!

And heck! When was the last time I ironed Ayah's shirt?

OH MY GOD!!!

Tu baru in the kitchen. I already felt my head spinning. I pictured one of those big colourful tops from the east coast from Awang Goneng stories. My head vs the top, I wondered which one spinned faster. All I could think of was that my head was 'lagi terror' because it could spin that violently even without the help of any manly hurlings, so violent that it could potentially cause the first ever earth tremor in Rawang!

Oh Oh...... I'm in trouble, big time.

Some more perasan can cope with 2 weeks maid free?

You can bet McDonald's, Pizza Hut's & Ali Maju's sales would be up a few % the next few weeks. And so would Ah Lin's laundry shop.

All in the name of precaution against home hazards.

Say a prayer or two for Ibu pls?





Salam :C

Of motivation & rewards

Some intrinsic, some extrinsic.

So, are we less worthy of a human being if what propelled us to elevate to greater heights tend to be motivated by extrinsic material rewards?

Cannot be la, hoh? At least not in all circumstances.

For example - how can you say your child is less worthy of a child if what motivates him to study hard and obtain good grades in his exam is a Sony Ericsson handphone, with a camera & web access function in it?

To cut the long intro short, that was what Abang Idin had been eyeing for. And eyeing so for one good year, he had.

Of course I had a part to play in it. Being the not so generous Ibu that I am, no way would I just senang lenang buy a handphone for a 12 year old who most of the time cannot even remember where he last placed his wallet (which, in the first place, should have been easier kept in his pocket, shouldn't it?!!) So I said, if you want it, you go get your 5As for UPSR.

So, yeah... my Abang Idin was deprived of a handphone. And we kept dangling it as an invisible carrot. Handphone? UPSR! Handphone? 5As! Muahahaha....

Come to think of it, I'm sure he must have been wanting it since umpteenth years ago.

When he was barely 6 months old, we registered him for a baby crawling contest (at Jusco Wangsa Maju that time). It started off as just for fun. When we saw the other babies & their kiasu parents, Ayah & I looked at each other and thought...opps! Would we be exposing our child to the concept of failure & frustration too fast too soon? But then we thought ... hehh... he was just a baby lah! He wouldn't understand. So we thought. When the race was about to start, we noticed the other parents were all geared up, ready with teddy bears, teethers, pacifiers and other toys to be used as motivation for their babies to crawl forward! Alamak... we brought nothing at all (other than his milk bottle!). And sure enough, when the whistle was blown, all the other parents started to motivate their not-as-cute-as- ours babies(hehehe) and most of the babies started to crawl towards their toys instantly. Abang Idin? He just woke up from his afternoon slumber and he just sat there at the starting point, heavenly sucking his thumb, oblivious to the fuss of the cheering crowd around. Alamak anak aku nih, tengah mamai lagi la agaknya? Thinking on his feet, Ayah reached into his pockets and pulled out his wallet from one pocket and one heavy as a sepatu Nokia handphone from another pocket (imagine macam hero cowboy pulling out his guns ready for a showdown... hehehe...). He started to dangle the wallet & handphone in front of Abang Idin's eyes and voila!! Abang Idin instantly moved his diapered butt, got down on his knees and started crawling. Ayah moved one step faster. Abang Idin followed. A few more steps even faster. And ... you wouldn't believe this, Abang Idin lifted his knees and started crawling like a bear! Two arms, two feet, no knees at all and yeah!! He was fast!! He started to catch up with the other babies and even got to the leading top three crawlers in no time at all. The crowd was cheering loud. I thought... Oh yes! He could be winning this. Oh yes... Oh dunia! Lihat lah.. That's my boy!

But then suddenly, he stopped midway. Eh? Apasal?! Oh dear! He stopped midway sebab 'dok' looking at a cute chinese baby girl trailing slightly behind in the next lane. We tried calling him a few times, yet he ignored us and just kept looking (drooling?) at the girl. Oh my, what a sight! Aiyaya.... kecik2 dah pandai distracted by a girl? The crowd actually laughed at the scene. I'm sure at that minute it was ayah's turn to be cheeky; claiming 'That's my boy!'

Apalah Abang Idin!!

After a few good laughs, I nudged Ayah and he came right back on to his senses and started to dangle his wallet and phone in front of Abang Idin again. Thank goodness Abang Idin came back to his senses too. He dashed forward with his bearish style crawl and managed to catch up again. As soon as he reached the finishing line, Ayah rewarded him by letting him 'play' with his handphone. Hmmpphh!! Habis dia gobbled up the phone! (Would you use a hand phone covered all over with a 6 months old baby's saliva? Euwwwwww..... exactly!) But oh well! He deserved it. He finished off as a runner up, the only 'boy' winning. Not bad at all, considering his late start. Won himself RM200 Jusco vouchers and a big hamper (jimat sikit poket Ayah masa tu, no need to buy diaper for 2 weeks or so). I think we have a photo of it. I'll try dig his baby years album and post the photo later (tahun depan boley?).

Much later when he started primary school, he wanted a hand phone still. By then, he could come with some creative reasons for the need of it, I tell ya.

Once, he said he's too short to reach the public phone at school. So he argued we should buy him a handphone so that he could easily call us in case there was an emergency at school. Yeaaahhhh right!

Our rebuttals: Who ask you to skip your lunch & dinner too often and be too choosy of your food? You eat a lot more laaaaa so that you grow taller faster! Besides, if there was an emergency at school, just run to the teacher, pakcik canteen, makcik cleaner, gardener, jaga or bus driver and shout for HELP - whether they have teeth or not, it should not matter! That's what you called emergency. (Mean parents, no? hehehe)

But what about if it's emergency outside school? He tried still.

Our rebuttals: What outside school? After school, you come right back home, straight home, in Mrs Jaya's van, you hear?!! (Mean still, yes? yes, yes, yes....)

Another time, after coming home from a school trip, he related the incident of his friend who lost his handphone during that trip. His friend called his parent using another friend's phone and then related to Abang Idin, "Mak aku kata tak per lah... nak buat cam mana? Nanti dia ganti lain." And so Abang Idin questioned, why was it that other parents could easily provide their children with handphone and his parents could not?

Our answers: Oh! If you want parents that could easily provide you with a handphone, you could easily change your parents! Just go la try ask if they want to easily adopt you. Then maybe you can easily move to their house and after that easily ask if they could easily buy you a handphone. (Meaner? definitely, hehehe)

Not so generous maybe. But mean? Actually, no, I don't think so.

To Abang Idin,

It's not that we could not afford one. I'm sure there are plenty of 'under water' handphones somewhere kat Pekan Rawang tu. We know but we don't care if others can easily provide their children with material rewards without demanding some kind of efforts & achievement. And even if they do, we don't want to and we choose not to understand why the bar is not raised as high as what we've set for you. One thing you can't change - you are our son. Tough luck! And as our son, you've got to start learning from now on, boy;

No pain, No gain!

And we want you to learn this, not because both your parents were not born into this world with silver spoons. Our childhood is our childhood. Yours is yours. Eating roti canai outside once in a blue moon was already a great childhood reward for us . You? You got to eat McDonald's every so often without much Q&A. Be thankful. We've come a long way.

But one thing you've got to learn early, the world out there is not one holy charitable organisation. And since you may not be sheltering under our roof forever & ever, you've got to knock this into your head, heart & mind: You want something? Work hard for it, dear! Earn it with your own sweat & tears. Your own stripes & strides. You will then truly appreciate the reward. It tastes much sweeter that way, you'll savour the after taste.

The intrinsic part of it would come naturally indeed, I would think. That you would challenge yourself to proof that you can do it, that you have what it takes, that you are not easily susceptible to negative influence and distraction for short term gratification. There is always light at the end of the tunnel, provided you move towards the end of the tunnel!

Having said that, the ends does not justify the means.

Don't go cracking your head overtime strategising to rob a bank to get the money to buy a handphone!!! Duhhh....

If the ends is a much longed Sony Ericsson handphone with camera & web access function, and the means is by way of you scoring 5As in UPSR - then I must say, you've earned it very well my boy!

Congratulations on a job well done! You deserve the reward. We're proud of you, Abang Idin.

Don't forget to say Alhamdulillah, thank you Allah.

Let me say one thing; THIS is just the beginning!


Luv,
Ibu


p/s I heard next is Manchester University? So that you can watch live Man U football match every so often? ( Hmmm... that's not that far from my wanting to study in US so that I could go to Disneyland? hehehe....mana la nak tumpah nya kuah kalau tak ke nasi? ) So I would say, GO FOR IT, BOY! You've got 5 years to prepare. Muahaha....

p/s If you haven't, you should thank Ayah ok? I invoked the motivation & dangled the invisible reward. He's the one paying for the tangible one. hehehe... pandai Ibu kan?

Another live show tonite....

But this time, teater bangsawan "Batu Belah Batu Bertangkup".

Nak ikut? Jom beramai-ramai ke Panggung Dewan Bandaraya Kuala Lumpur.

Malam ni, malam esok, malam lusa.

Of blonde bombshells, dish washing & waiting

"Is office attire ok?"
Ayah's email message was as short & straight to the point as his verbal conversation.

I had to match - coz I was in a hurry :), so I replied,
"Dress code: lounge suit, so office attire's ok. Grab your blazer".

That was last Thursday, when he relented to accompany me to the british musical commedy playing in town. He said he's not much into this kind of thing, opposite moi - who just love stage shows, both performing and watching others perform. Especially if the tickets are complimentary. hehehh...

Besides, we missed to catch one when we had abundance of such opportunities just last month. I left the 'city' drooling over the posters, adverts & pamphlets of all sorts. Sigh....

So indeed that evening, we finally went to watch the Blonde Bombshells of 1943, the musical play by Alan Plater.

It was scheduled to start at 7pm. But a 'higher calling' tasked me to text the host as a sign of courtesy, who graciously indulged my excuse to join the party slightly later. I was least worried about joining the pre-dinner cocktail late actually. I don't fancy lingering around people sipping reds or whites (with me sipping coke or orange juice) for the sake of small talks. It's not the reds or whites that bothers me really - I'm just not genuinely interested to put up fake smiles while engaging in skin deep small talks with people I barely know. I would lose terribly if I were to stand for any political election I know. hehehhh....

Digressed.

Anyway... I met Ayah at the lobby after Maghrib. With his blazer on and his unmistakable silver highlights , I thought he was quite a sight for sore eyes. I hope only my eyes lah kan? We marched up to the ballroom foyer and was saved by the bell (they were really ringing the bell as a signal for guests to make their entrance & be seated), which means we skipped the entire lingering around, much to my relief... hehehe.... (I am soooo not suitable for a PR job, I could read your mind!)

I requested to be directed to our designated table which happened to be right in front of the stage. Wahhh!! Above expectation. And thankfully, the other fellow guests around the table were a bunch of easy going & friendly lot too - which made us settled in pretty fast actually, exchanging topics ranging from serious but still skin deep corporate updates to what we did last summer.

And what we shared about what we did last summer prompted me to write this entry.

When I said 'summer' - it was not about last week's hot scorching sun on our local soil, rather really about the hot & sunny season, except that the 'last' was referring to the good old college days.

It turned out one of the guests also went to the same college in the godforsaken midwest redneck county GMT minus 5 away from here (had it not been for the college town itself, we Asians would've probably succumbed to the bullies and ended up as their shooting practice targets!) The mere mentioning of the "home away from home" was enough to stir an instant bond amongst us.

We were relating those crazy things we did during summer breaks. My definition of crazy things to do during summer was about taking additional credit hours for 300 & 400 level Psychology courses (so that I could secure a minor in Psychology) and at the same time working my butts out waiting tables to pay for the additional text books for the courses. Fun & crazy indeed, no? But hey... I had my fair share of some adventurous trips made using whatever left overs saved from the same job of waiting tables.

Ayah shared his experience of the minimum wage dish washing job he secured on campus.

Waitress at fine dining restaurant on campus VS dish washer at the college cafetaria. So NOT the same class, I tell you! hahaha.....

The host and another couple also started to join & chip in their college days working experiences too. From as manual as waiting tables, washing dishes and delivering newspaper, to the more decent ones like book keeping assistance and researching books & articles for PhD students.

One of them asked if we met on campus. I said yes, but Ayah said not quite. He said we sort of knew one another before. I rebutted that technically we never met before, so it has to be 'on campus'.

By this time dinner has arrived. Our companies happily carved their steaks away while continuing to enjoy the acts of the two of us trying to defend each others' stand. I thought it was more of my verbal sparring against Ayah's merely raising of his eyebrow and shaking his head in disagreement.

Then suddenly Ayah blurted, "I even had to survive just on washing dishes, waiting for her!"

I could instantly hear the "Ahhhh....", "Ohhhhh...." & "How sweeeeeeeet...." in response to that.

Oh wow myself! That was quite a statement my darling! One hell of a curve ball I must say. And one bomb in its own form.

In a nano of a second, all those memories came flashing back to me in fragments. Him washing dishes on minimum wage at the college cafetaria, and me waiting tables at the on-campus Marriot Hotel's Tudor Room fine dining restaurant (read: lots of tips!)

That was when it suddenly hit me hard like a ricochet of a bomb shell. After 20 years of knowing him, it suddenly dawned upon me that I may have inadvertently taken Ayah's perseverance of me a bit too lightly - I think.

You see, Ayah is a feeler and a natural introvert. Put those two personalities together, you get one silent lover.

So how do you suppose I could read his mind why he stayed on surviving on minimum wage washing dishes while I happily scurried away to Washington DC as the first (ever) international college intern, rubbing shoulders with other interns at the White House two decades ago?

A mild extrovert thinker - I could not bring myself to 'feeeeeeeel' it was JUST to wait for a girl. I had to rationalise and it was around him buying time - waiting for arising opportunity as IT Lab consultant, to start building his fresh grad experience. After all, he made quite some earnings doing part time IT work before - finishing Masters & PhD students' project at very reasonable fees. hehehhhh... enterprising indeed.

People said (then) either I was in denial or simply a heart breaker. Some were diplomatic enough, acknowledging the possibility of not ready to commit and that I have the rights to still browse through the options on the menu. I must have just laughed & brushed them all off. That was a not a problem of the world that was worth me putting on my serious thinking cap. That was 20 years ago.

Now? With 3 kids, we are more than attached to our hips, I think.

The images of him "waiting for me" started to swirl in my mind though. Him washing dishes on campus waiting for me to return from my internship. Then when we were back in Msia? Him dozing off in his Proton Saga in front of my office waiting for me to finish my never ending work so that he could send me home safely right to my aunt's front door (thus marking his territory and cordoned off others away from me). After we got engaged? Him waiting for me to conclude the definite period of engagement. After we got married? Him waiting for me to be ready to start a family. After we got our first child? Him patiently reminding me to consider wearing the hijab and be willing to don it on my own accord. After the hijab? Him patiently inspiring me to perform our hajj early while we were still able bodied.

Today? He still have to wait for me to come home from my never ending work almost every night, so that we can have our dinner at the kitchen or dining table together with our kids (okay lah... sometimes he ate first). He still have to wait for me to choose at least 2 or 3 pair of blouses and pants, and then decide on matching scarve before we leave the house to go anywhere (used to be for fashion & color coordination, now more of which ones I can fit into comfortably...aiyaaaa!!). He still have to wait for me at a bench or game shop somewhere while I go berserk over the items on sales. Pendek cerita, he's still waiting for me on a lot of things lah.

I thought I was the one who was the "waitress". Looks like he's the real "waiter" after all. Except that when lovingly voiced out, it sounds like this, "Abaaaaang.....WAIT ARRR! Sikit lagi nak siap... tunggu ......"

Yes. He had to wait for me then. He still have to wait for me now. And a bit more waiting still in the foreseable future. He's doing it ever so patiently too, I must say. Sesuai dengan nama dia.

So what do I know really?

An evening to watch the blondies, but it's the silver haired that dropped the bomb on me - after almost 20 years!

Still loving him though.


And oh! The musical? Quite a swing indeed.

:)