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Thursday, April 30, 2009


Bibi dah lama "return" to work daaaaaaa......

Kalau tak, harus I fly all the way to her kampung to extradite her.

She was on "vacation" for two long months, which allowed me to fully embrace the meaning of "penantian itu satu penyiksaan". LOL!!!!

I'm useless around the house without her - that's for sure. I can only layan the kids, feed the cats, set up pretty colour coordinated table setting and the likes..... oh yes, I can do the refilling of bath & shower gel & replenishment of tooth paste & shampoo too. hehehehe.... but really, that's about all.

I tend to write long typically when I'm officially on leave from work or on weekends.

All other snippets here & there are some stolen moments on working nights, if I manage to wrestle some time away from the kids.

Like this one ....

So KC, sadly for me, you can lower down that tabik spring vono now :(

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Let the lessons begin ....

It's never quite easy agreeing on how to deliver a mutually agreed objective with Ayah. We often get into debates, which is my favourite! But with Ayah as the sparring partner, the debates are pretty 'calm' and 'silent' (remember Paula Abdul's song "Opposite Attracts"?).

"It's RMxxx per month per head."
"Ohhhh.. too expensive........"
(followed by silence.....)

"Ha... there's a cheaper one at Perangsang Templer Park!"
"Aisey.... too far lah....."
(followed by silence .....)

"4pm weekends?"
"Clash with Abang Idin's visiting hours, don't u think?"
(followed by silence ....)

"How about week nights?"
"Hmmm.... tak sempat kot? Clash with Kumon. Unless you can come home earlier on those week nights?"
(followed by silence....)

"So shouldn't he start now?"
"If he howls 'NAK IBUUUUUUUU' in the classes, how?"
(followed by silence.....)

And this calm & silent debates went on and on for weeks, I think months now. But deyyyy thamby.... silent & calm camana pon, perempuan mana yg buleh tahan with such prolonged non commitment? Bukannya nak suruh kawen lagi satu pon! (Now that's a bad comparison! I don't think men would defer deciding to spring into action with such offer from their wives if that really happens! hissh.... simpang, simpang!)

What are these bigger than world matters to decide at hand? To commit pronto?

Hehehe... Just swimming lessons for Hafiz & Ameer, and Tae Kwan Do lessons for Ameer.

See.... bukan ler apa sangat kan? But waiting for my supposedly better half to decide and commit, MAK OIIIIIII!!!! Mengalahkan menunggu keputusan cabinet & jemaah menteri to decide on minimum wage in Malaysia.

So I decided to just take the plunge!

And yesterday, while Ayah was away attending an office function (corporate social responsibility) at Tasik Perdana, the Home Minister at Emerald Rawang proceeded to sign on the dotted line to :

1. Enroll the boys in the much deferred swimming lessons under the supervision of Coach Danny at Duta Palms club in Bandar Country Homes (which is only 3 traffic lights away from Emerald) in the morning, and

2. Enroll Ameer to join Hafiz in Tae Kwan Do lessons with the same Master Prabha at Green Park Rawang (which is also only 3 traffic lights and 1 roundabout away from Emerald) in the afternoon.

Given time & distance equal money too .... I concluded that, hehh, seposen dua posen differences in fees, takde makna nyer kalau berpeluh2 kena drive sana sini!

Yeah... of course this Ibu had to go through those cringe moments with Ameer grabbing & clinging tightly to my legs before entering the pool, forcing me to move inch by inch bow-leggedly to get him near the pool edge. Thank goodness, the coach was very good indeed - living up to his reputation as silver & bronze medallists coach. (Gold? not yet... tunggu my boys kot? Who knows....) Just as I got near the edge, he grabbed Ameer and carried him piggy back style to the middle of the pool. It was just the wading pool to start with, but which was still quite deep for the already freaked-out Ameer. In my heart I was like - Oh My God!!! Habih la anak aku!!!! I walked away quickly to the other side of the pool, took my seat in the shades and pretended to read (yeah... with the book covering my face! Hide away la konon... hahaha). And surprise! surprise! It worked out just fine. When I lowered down the book a few minutes later, I saw Ameer already had his goggles on and hanging on (to his life!!!) to the pool's edge by himself. Shortly after, they were already into the holding of breath under water and the water kicking drills.

Phewwww........ so it was a case of 'forced trust' professionally crafted. In a crisis moment like that (being in the middle of the pool where his feet could not touch the base), Ameer had just got to trust the sole adult within his reach, i.e. Coach Danny and hang on to him for his dear life - instead of hoping for his Ibu (who was gone from his sight in seconds) to save him. Coach Danny pesan; there is a technique to do it, ok? Don't simply pandai-pandai try on other people.... ekekeke.....

Hafiz, on the other hand, hmmphhh... macam itik jumpa air!!!

I continued ducking my head behind the book, forcing my over-rated motherly concern to be taken over by the gripping tale of the female suffering and endurance under the Taliban's rule penned by Khaled Hosseini.

At about 5 past 11, I heard the two boys singing the familiar tune, THANK YOU COACH DANNY! Hahhh...alas.... I pun dah berpeluh2 masa tu. The boys smiled towards me. Ameer put up his right hand up in the sky, ready to give me a high 5 from afar.

I texted Ayah to update him on the accomplishment.

Later in the afternoon, while Ayah was still away attending his corporate social responsibility office function ( hey... berapa lama daaaaa????? ), I dropped off the boys at Teacher Rameni's house to car pool with her children to the Tae Kwan Do class pulak.

Again Ameer was very hesitant in the beginning. But I just had to remind him that he needed to start learning self defense early, else who will protect 'Anis'? Wohooooo!!!! That line worked wonders I tell ya (hehehe, sorry Abid .... ). Talk about 'motivation'! This guy is really fond of Anis, a daughter of one of my MT clan, Abid. So anything for Anis. Plus, since Hafiz (and Abang Idin too, before this) was already in the class, at least Ameer was not as apprehensive towards Tae Kwan Do as he was towards swimming. But I bet my broken finger nails that it was the mere mentioning of protecting Anis being the key differentiating factor in this case. My maternal instinct says so.

Abang Idin also had a Tae Kwan Do meet of some sort at Stadium Cheras. A tourney amongst the light/feather weight he said. Ada ke? Ntah ler.... So we would not be visiting him at the hostel in the afternoon.

With visiting session cancelled and with the two boys out of the house on Saturday afternoon, I thought it was a good time to catch up on my reading. On the sofa, in front of the TV. Air cond switched on. A plate of goreng pisang (tapau from a stall outside the club) and a mug of teh tarik by the side (courtesy of bibik on weekends). The same 'A Thousand Splendid Sun' by Khaled Hosseini at hand. Wahhhh.... what a bliss!!! As you can guess ..... I dozed off to sleep in no time at all. HAHAHAHA ....

Ayah woke me up - tak sedar pun what time. Asked the boys whereabout. And I told him lepas swimming, lunch, lepak sat, then pi Tae Kwan Do pulak. The look of a pleasant surprise on his face was pretty obvious. Shortly after, he also joined me lounging in front of the TV - both dozing off to our Saturday afternoon slumber.

At about half past six, we were waken up by shrills of laughter, sweaty smells and a marathon of commentaries on how to do this kick and that punch by the two boys. Hafiz told us he had to spar with a girl and so had to let her win. Ameer was huffing & puffing at the same time, showing off his newly acquired skills.

At that moment, I knew, the lessons have begun .....


p/s Ayah... I've asked the swimming coach to text me his account number. That should spare you the hassle, as you can simply Mayban2him jer in the future .... ekekeke.... so you think you can run scott free that easily?

Friday, April 24, 2009

Progress of my LIL one

In Hollywood last night, Lil was voted out of American Idol Season 8. That was the end of Lil.

In Rawang though, or rather in the comfy sack inside my tummy, my very own lil' one is progressing well, Alhamdulillah. Thank you for all the well wishes, I'm touched and grateful for the doas extended.

Went for my follow up check up at APSH yesterday on my own, joined by Ayah there. I came clean with Dr Ashar that I couldn't stand being house arrested, hence I started work 2 weeks earlier (than the 4 weeks medical leave given!). He smiled and calmly replied, "It's quite hard to stay put when you are so used to being active at work, isn't it?" Hehehe... Ayah just smiled and added, "there's another update". And so I also had to come clean with Dr Ashar re the slip & fall too. I told him I rest for a few days after the fall but started work again early this week. Since there was no bleeding or major abdominal pain, he seemed fully forgiving. After all, I fell while doing my normal morning routine for Subuh prayer, so he really couldn't scold me, even if he wanted to. Hehehe.....

So first things first, let me come clean altogether. I am 40 and I have 3 boys. And yeah, I am expecting. About 16 weeks now.

Sometimes at dinner table, I wring my hands at the skies and wonder how I came to be the hub of this noisy, chaotic house. Some days as evening falls, I just have to get away to take a break from the responsibility, from the cacophony, and labor, and pretend to have fallen fast asleep under the duvet where no one can no longer expect one iota of energy from me.

I repeat, I am 40, I have 3 boys, and am 16 weeks pregnant now. I have quite a demanding job in a multi national chain of "kedai runcit".

Some of my colleagues said either I am very courageous, or I am out of my mind!

Either way, it's still a mission, shared by Ayah & Ibu.

I already have 3 boys - that I've said. All from the same Ayah (chuckle!!! though one of my buddies thought Ameer looked like my former 'boyfriend'...ceh!!! tak patut betul!! he didn't even fall into my definition of 'boyfriend' in the first place, okay? And for goodness sake, anak ke tiga muka cam ex-boyfriend, apa hal? HAHAHA....)

So is this my 4th pregnancy then?

No. It's not. I've had a few miscarriages in the past. At least 2 in between Abang Idin & Hafiz, including one at 4.5 months; it was a girl :(.

And then another 2 miscarriages after Ameer - both within the last 12-15 months. I blogged about one of it (the first one) but kept silent on the 2nd unfortunate incident. I felt it was too private & personal to share then. I don't mind sharing now, the 2nd miscarriage was actually a twin (we have 'twins genes' in both Ayah's & Ibu's side, so not a major surprise).

So put up your fingers now and count. Kalau 'tak', I would have 8 children! WOW !!!! Meriahnya!!

We've mutually agreed on having 4. Ayah actually wanted more. Not realistic at all from my perspective. So 4 is a compromised number. We would have exceeded set expectation with the twins, but was not meant to be, for only Allah knows why. If Allah grants us more after this, we'll still accept it as part of the rezqi bestowed upon us.

For what have happened, I can only thank Allah for still giving me the opportunities to conceive & carry them even just a quarter way. I know some close friends who still have not successfully conceived despite assisted with medical advances & technology interventions.

In my case, as proven thus far, I could conceive. For all my pregnancies thus far, I did not experience the so-called "morning sickness". However, I suffered from a condition called "incompetent cervix" (I've linked the term to a relevant site to save your time from googling). This was first detected, unfortunately, a bit too late, upon my 1st known miscarriage at abt 4.5 mths. I was told then that I had (still have!) a reverse shaped uterus, hence the incompetent cervix. Since then, I was advised that in order to sustain my future pregnancies, I might have to go through this procedure called cervical serclage, which is simply translated as sewing up the cervix with stitches, to be removed later closer to delivery date. So in the case of Hafiz & Ameer, 'their' pregnancies were assisted with serclages, both done by Dr Jem.

Why the other two-three miscarriages, you may ask? The challenge with serclage is that it is advisable to be done only after 12 weeks - just in case there are problems arising during this period, the pregnancy can be abandoned or the threatened abortions can happen naturally.

That was the case with me with the other miscarriages, including the twins. All at about 8 weeks, I started spotting & bleeding, hence tak sempat nak buat serclage pun.

I don't want to dwell about the costs, but suffice to say, that the treatment for the miscarriages (the D&C) and the prevention of it (the serclage) each cost almost the same if not slightly more than the cost of normal delivery.

Do I sound like I'm regretting it?

Not at all. Sometimes terkilan, undoubtedly - you know, the longing to hold & cuddle the lil ones..... But all the times eventually, I was and am rest assured that Allah knows best. Never mind the frustration, the emotions, the medical leaves, the costs and all; the unseen benefit obviously, as many have told, outweighs the sufferings.... the lil ones would wait & help me while crossing siratalmustakim (InsyaAllah!).

So far, I have no problem explaining my pregnancy to my 3 boys. In fact they have all long thought that I was pregnant (obviously because of the kebuncitan of my middle earth!!!). We appreciate each others companies most of the time. All 5 of us. We talk, shout, laugh, giggle & whisper as we wish. We celebrate birthdays. We hide each others favourite pillows. We make monkey faces to each other. We rub or scratch each others backs at bedtime. We fight over who gets the next McD Happy Meal toy. We challenge who will first finish the chore or homework. Sometimes, we munch snacks or dinner in front of the TV - much to the chagrin of Bibi. We are our own life simple pleasures. And I reckon, welcoming another extension to our family, the new lil one, won't be an issue with any one of us at all.

Now that I'm approaching the end of my 1st trimester with the current lil one, and that the serclarge had been successfully done - this time by Dr Ashar (the reason why I had to stay in hospital not so long ago), I truly hope and I continue to pray everyday that I will have a safe & sound pregnancy this time and the lil one will have a healthy development & growth within me. And I will continue to pray that Allah will bestow the lil one with taqwa & iman, to be successful both di dunia & akhirat.

For someone whose work amongst others include upholding personal privacy & confidentiality, it feels weird initially writing away on this subject which I consider quite personal & private. But while writing it away I may, the writing sure still sound more like relating of random facts rather than sharing of feelings.

But I guess that's me. More of a rational thinker than a feeler.

And the more I think about it, the more I eventually come to accept the rationale for this sharing - isn't it what this blog is for? In case I suffer memory lapse or senility in my much older days in the future, at least this story will prevail - as part of my Cerita Ibu, untuk anak2 ibu yg tersayang.

Spare a prayer that this mission of Ayah & Ibu will be one mission made possible this time around.


Thursday, April 16, 2009

Slippery when wet

I slipped n fell in the shower this morning when I wanted to take wudhu' for Subuh prayer..... bummer!!! Not good at all for my current condition. Kepala pun dah benjol sikit.

So back to rest in bed today.....

Pls spare a prayer for the safety of the lil' one.

Help me God!!! Ya mubdi....

Thursday, April 09, 2009

Buku 555: Tags oh tags!!

I have a long list of hutang tags in my buku 555. Luckily they don't accumulate interest. For those who tagged me, pls do accept my apology. Not that I didn't want to answer them earlier, but sometimes I really don't know the answers, hence the deferment. Percayalah.... (chuckle!chuckle!!)

Orang kata, sikit2 lama jadi bukit. So let's take this settling of hutang one tag at a time.

The first one I'll try to answer is the one on ALL ABOUT YOUR HUSBAND, tagged by WanShana, March 30, 2009.

Why this one? It is not randomly selected you know. Here's why.....

In my previous entry re Abang Idin turned 13, I said "Since then (i.e. since Michelle withdrew from the Kindy), dia (i.e. Abang Idin) jadi pemalu sangat dengan perempuan sebenarnya. Saling tak tumpah macam Ayah (i.e. my hubby) dia zaman dolu-dolu. "

And one of Ayah's college buddies whose blog nickname is also AYAH has got to comment :

" Hehehehehehehehehe! "

Wahhhh.... sikit punya panjang tu dia punya mengilai! Which got me thinking, eh? tak betul kah my statement tu? I thought that was what I learned about Ayah (my hubby la kan?). Unless, as buddies, he (the blogger Ayah) knows something else? hmmm...musykil dah ibu sekarang ni. Which means, there is something hidden about ayah's personality & traits that I have not discovered?

This prompted me, eh... what else do or don't I know about my husband?

Hence, let me try to answer the tag. Ayah, Shana, Mr Engineer and everyone else, if you know a different answer to the questions, pls share hokeh?

Here goes:

1) He’s sitting in front of the TV, what is on the screen?

If he's watching alone: most probably HEROES, LOST or sitcoms or anything on discovery channel.

If the children are watching with him: Tom & Jerry, Ben10, Naruto, Pink Panther. LOL!!!!

IF ibu is watching with him: American Idol or CSI

2) You’re out to eat; what kind of dressing does he get on his salad?

1000 Island and Chili Sauce (Lingham).

Tapi he hardly chooses dishes that come with salad segala.....

3) What’s one food he doesn’t like?

Cake (he said).

p/s Baguss.... save duit sikit this coming November.

4) You go out to eat and have a drink. What does he order?

Food ~ Kuey Teow Goreng, preferably with seafood. With extra order: telur mata satu kasi taruh atas!!!

Drinks ~ Ice lemon tea

5) Where did he go to high school?

Sekolah tembak-menembak

6) What size shoes does he wear?

Rasa-rasanya 7 or 8.

7) If he was to collect anything, what would it be?

Any IT gadgets & peripherals. Dah berkotak2 dah ni....

8) What is his favorite type of sandwich?

Hmmmm.... I don't think he particularly likes sandwhich. Kuey Teow Goreng satu pls!

9) What would this person eat every day if he could?

Kuey Teow Goreng?!! Isn't it obvious by now?

10) What is his favorite cereal?

Errr.... you don't get it do you? Where got people eat keow teow with cereal one??!!!

11) What would he never wear?

A bra? ahahaha....

12) What is his favorite sports team?

Elek.... he's not into sports.

13) Who did he vote for?

Eh! Bukan ke undi itu rahsia?

Tapi kalau American Idol, maybe Danny Gokey.

Last time, Msian Idol, he expected Jacklyn Victor to win.

But he would never waste his money on this kind of voting.

14) Who is his best friend?

I don't know, seriously. Could it be me? I don't think so. I would expect him to say, I am more than a friend. Muahahaha.....

15. What is something you do that he wishes you wouldn’t do?

Picking my nose in front of him. Ahahaha...

16. What is his heritage?

Minang from his arwah father.

Chinese from his mother.

17. What is his favourite colour?

White & blue.

18. What is his habit?

Good one: Tidak melengah2 kan solat

Bad one: Asyik buat2 terlupa ajer kalau dia hutang Ibu!!! Tak aci lah weehh...

19. What is he proud of?

I'm not sure. I have to find out. He's very modest about a lot of things.

20. Lastly, do you think he will read this?

Yes he will, because I will make him do. Ahahaha....

SO .... that's all I know (a few I don't know) about my husband, based on the questions given above. Phewww.... sib baik tak tanya, berapa ramai ex-gf dia ada atau soalan2 yg sewaktu dengannya. Sbb I wouldn't know for sure.

Jelingan manja la konon...
(pic taken in a backstreet alley somewhere in Istanbul 2007)

Shana, one down. Many-many more to go....


Tuesday, April 07, 2009

No longer a boy but not yet a man

Abang Idin turns 13 today, 7th April 2009.

I thought of scanning some favourite photos from childbirth right up till Std 6 Graduation and upload them here - but then realised too late that the photo albums are still nicely packed in 2 boxes and stored in our 'old' house. So niat tak kesampaian.

Abang Idin was small at birth, only 2.48kg. I carried him to full term with very little hassle (no morning sickness whatsoever). Just one push and out he ventured into this world. He is still small size todate. Reminds me of my own dwarf days - no difference. I only shot up drastically after puberty. So there is hope for Abang Idin to grow into a tall, tanned & handsome boy one fine day.

But size does not matter. I would like to think that he fits well into the description of "kecik2 cili padi".

He WAS short tempered, to say the least. Kecik2 dulu, cepat sangat naik hangin. Kalau marah, he would shout until urat leher semua keluar. The tremors could be felt by the whole Taman Hijau then. We used to call him Mat Kilau Junior. (Note: Kalau ada junior, mesti ada senior kan? And Mat Kilau was not a female - so guess who handed down this trait? LOL!!!)

He's an early bloomer in puppy love though. He first fell in love with Ariel the Little Mermaid (the Disney cartoon character) when he was barely 3. I might have blogged about this before. He was watching Disney House when suddenly he shrieked out to ask me, "IBUUUUUU...kenapa 'kote' Idin rasa macam sakit bila tengok Ariel the Little Mermaid ni?". I panicked. Bagai nak rak punya panick. Didn't know how to answer or react. Ayah was away, posted to Jeddah that time. Later that night when I called Ayah, all he answered was, "THAT's MY BOY!!!!". Pulak ....

When he was 5, after starting Kindy at Tadika Sinaran Bayu, he had his heart for a chinese classmate. I didn't know until one Sunday when we had our regular nasi lemak brunch by our fish pond just outside the dining hall. He picked up a wild flower and gave it to me. I was so thrilled, eh... kecik2 lagi dah romantic jugak anak aku nih? He asked me to put it in my hair (selit celah telinga) which I did happily for him. Then he said, dreamily, with glow in his eyes, that I looked so sweet with the flower in my hair, just like 'Michelle'. Huh??!!! It was a short lived infatuation though. One day Michelle accidentally fell into the small gutter while playing during recess and her mother withdrew her from the Kindy. Abang Idin didn't quite find any one else to replace Michelle thereafter. When I asked, he innocently answered, "Yang lain semua gelap-gelap, tak cute macam Michelle!" GULP!!!

Since then, dia jadi pemalu sangat dengan perempuan sebenarnya. Saling tak tumpah macam Ayah dia zaman dolu-dolu.

He's also considerably matured in thinking for his age progressively. When he was 6, he approached his Pak Long who had just bought a new car and asked his Pak Long left, right & centre about not just how much the car cost, but whether that car was brand new or second hand, purchased direct from car dealer or owner, whether he purchased it cash or credit, how much the loan interest was, whether the car was insured and for how much, with which insurance company, how often the car needed servicing, did it come with AAA membership or not, if not who would tow the car away if it broke down along the highway, yadayadayya.... Suffice to say, Pak Long was dumbfounded and turned to us, "Korang bagi makan apa budak ni?". hahahaha....

He was once voted Best Story Teller at Kindy - don't know what he klentong his teacher & classmates la kan?

His primary school days were not short of typical childhood mischievousness and boyish pranks. Never got into any serious or succumbed to being bullied despite his small size. Why? Cerdik! He always have much bigger and taller friends as his 'body guards'.

His maturity in thinking persevered through the observation of others. In my last conversation with his tuition teacher just before PMR, Mr Shan said he had never met a 12 year old quite like Abang Idin before. When they have issues for discussions (as part of the reading & comprehension exercise), Abang Idin would come up with all sorts of reasoning, theories, hypotheses, comparisons and serious probing questions which often caught him off guard, unprepared. Oh well.. other than cartoon & sports, he likes watching the national geography and discovery channel, and he reads a lot from boys adventure stories, to sports almanacs and also history of the world, the planet, the universe and even the secrets of Pharaohs and Tutankhamen. So that sums it all I guess.

A die hard Man Utd fan, who still perhaps deep down wishes he can be a pro footballer one day. Actually Abang Idin, if you can't join them, you just buy/invest in the club in the future ok?


12 years gone by in a blink of an eye.

Typically, we would have one or two months or at least a few weeks of anticipation in preparation for his birthday - what presents to give him, what kind of birthday cake he would like, should it be home made birthday cards or off the rack options, etc, etc. Every year we would crack our head; do we want to hold a party at home/elsewhere OR just send the cake to his school OR both? Almost every year, we ended up doing both. We would buy a cake & pack some snacks & drinks into little packages - like party packs minus the toys - to be sent to his school so that he could celebrate with his classmates. Then we would hold a "party" - most of the time just amongst us either at home or some eateries somewhere, sometimes with extended families (nenek, atuk, mak long, pak long segala... cum doa selamat), sometimes with our regular gettogether friends & their families (cuma baca doa sebelum makan...Allahuma baariqlana.....ehehe). And oh yes... these parties ... may not necessarily be held on his birthdate spot on. It's Msia, we do have inclement weathers kan?

This year, it is his first bday away from home.

I'm feeling blue. Can't hug, smooch & tickle him when the clock struck 12 as we usually did in the past.

My first born celebrating his birthday on his own, hopefully with his classmates or dormmates.

Alahai...sedih la pulak ibu sorang ni.

Nevertheless, we still bought him a cake, choc cappucino - his favourite. 3 birthday cards (off the rack) - one from Hafiz & Ameer. One from Ibu. One from Ayah. And a cute package with teddy bear print & little ribbon with mini birthday gifts inside - a mini wooden yellow pet cat from Ameer, a mini sunflower magnetized photoframe from Hafiz and a keychain with a mini black 'Converse' shoe from Ibu (it was printed as 'Conserve' though...hahaha). Dropped all these off at his school's guard house at about 6pm together with some snacks & drinks (not in little packages this time). Pandai2 la dia share ramai2 with his friends.

He called me right after Maghrib and thanked me happily. He sounded quite excited. I told him the yellow pet cat was from Ameer when he almost shouted, nanti-nanti....don't tell, he hadn't open the gift pack yet! Lerrrr.... anti climax betul la Ibu ni.

Ayah bought his gift during Abang Idin's outing on Sunday - a YONEX badminton racket - and Abang Idin brought it back to hostel same day, grinning from ear to ear. So the 'real' birthday gift is due only from Ibu now. He had hinted his boots were tight already. Hmm.... tunggu ek?

Meanwhile, I hope he would enjoy the cake, snacks & drinks with his friends tonite. And treasure the mini gifts from us. Mini they may be, but symbolic of our warm thoughts, well wishes and unconditional love for him.

By the way, Hafiz wrote on the birthday card, "Yo Bro! Have you found a new awek at SEPINTAR yet? Her name is.....?". LOL!!! Hafiz, hafiz..... he even said out loud his wish for Abang Idin when we signed the bday cards, "I wish Abang Idin will be FREED from Asrama!!!!" . Despite the sibling rivalry, he must be missing his not-so-big brother.

So there you go Abang Idin. We all miss you. Actually not just on your birthday, but everyday too.

May you find lots of success, happiness & healthy living for the years to come. Ibu doakan Abang Idin sentiasa dipelihara dalam keimanan supaya selamat dunia & akhirat. Many happy returns.

My 13 year old Abang Idin - no longer a boy, not yet a man.

Thursday, April 02, 2009

Ambition vs Fantasy

I received a call from Ameer's kindy Teacher today, just some updates on this & that.

BUT ...... ( there's always a but somewhere, or else why would I want to blog about it?)

She lodged her concern about Ameer's response on "what do you want to be when you grow up". Curiously enough, I asked, what was Ameer's response that she was so concern about? In my heart, nothing psychotic I hope!

Apparently, Ameer told her, he wanted to be a NINJA !!!! Oh la la.

I laughed & laughed my hearts out, leaving no airtime in between for her to continue because honestly, I thought it was so damn funny. I just couldn't help it and so indulge myself in laughing out loud (alone) for quite a while. I thought that was such a brave enough an attempt by Ameer and an honest one at it too. How many kids would actually be open enough to share their personal vision such as that. At most, it would be the well rehearsed answers as practiced at home - I want to be a teacher, police, ustazah, lawyer, accountant, doctor, architect, etc. Rarely ever - celebrity chef, hairstylist, pro footballer or Akademi Fantasia winner. And a Ninja from Rawang? Wow! That must be the first for the Teacher.

The feeling obviously was not mutual - at all! The Teacher said, even after showing pictures of various occupations to the class and what these people do, yet when she asked Ameer again, Ameer still asked how come there's no photo of a Ninja.

Suffice to say, Teacher was not happy. Teacher was concerned. Teacher was afraid that Ameer could not differentiate between reality & fantasy. Teacher wanted me (this Ibu)to help Ameer to have a better grasp of what's real and what's not.

Oh oh.... I'm in trouble. Not about Ameer's ambition. But in dealing with the expectation of the Teacher.

Hello..... Ameer just turned 5 last November. Technically therefore, he's only 5 years & 4 months young OK?. I see nothing seriously flawed with him sharing that kind of 'personal vision'. Having 3 boys of my own and several nephews & nieces of various ages, I've indeed heard of many others too that are quite not so ordinary, namely rock star, hairstylist, makeup artist, antique cars collector, professional footballer, professional boxer, F1 driver, CSI, pest controller, locksmith, Jimmy Neutron, President, Hannah Montana and Ariel (the little mermaid) to name a few. So shall I just say... heh... this types of childhood ambitions kind of 'run in the family'? hahahah..... I think that will scare the Teacher even more.

Or is it quite obvious that I am not as kiasu as some other parents ke? That's besides the point.

Seriously, I think what should interest the Teacher more was to explore & find out WHY my little Ameer wants to become a NINJA and what about NINJA that excites or inspires him? The standard questions of 4 Wives, 1 Waitress & 1 husband (Who, What, Where, When, Why and How) would have done the trick, I think. KAN?

When Ameer got home from school and I asked him about the NINJA episode, of course his immediate response was to DENY. "Eh! No! Ameer dah tukar balik macam last week - Ameer nak jadi Doktor lah, tak nak jadi Ninja. Sebab Teacher kata, in gheal world, mana ada NINJA".

Sad... there is NINJA in the real world la Teacher! May be in our culture not something that we want to lure our children into BUT the fact remains, NINJAs do exist okay Teacher? Because the under world is part of the real world. But that would be too complicated to explain to Ameer right? Or you seriously don't think NINJA exist in the real world? Sigh.....

So Q & A between Ameer & Ibu ensued:

Ibu: Why do you think becoming a NINJA is exciting, Ameer?

Ameer: Because NINJA helps fight off evil people and dia protect the not so strong people tau Ibu.

Ibu: Oh.... ye ker? Macam mana dia protect other people tu?

Ameer: NINJA tu kan Ibu, dia kena practice ghajin-ghajin sampai dia kuat tau, then dia can protect other people la. And he must eat well, macam Naruto tu.

(I have no idea what Naruto eats okay?)

Ibu: Ye ker? Kenapa NINJA kena protect other people tu?

Ameer: Ibu tak tau ker? Kan ada ghamai oghang jahat kat luar. Evil. Macam kena bully ker.... So NINJA akan rescue la oghang yang kena kacau tu.

(So who says cartoon is all that bad?)

Ibu: Ohhhhh.....

Ameer: Ha! Ibu dah faham?


Ibu: Ah... yes! So, Ameer nak jadi NINJA, sebab Ameer nak protect orang baik dari orang jahat eh?

Ameer: Ya. Tapi kalau nak jadi NINJA, kena practice rajin-rajin dulu (sambil buka langkah ala-ala martial arts macam dalam Naruto tu) baru la kuat. Lepas tu baru la boleh protect orang lain.

Ibu: Ah... betul....

Ameer: Tapi sekarang Ameer dah tukar la Ibu. Cikgu kata takde sekolah ajar jadi NINJA. So now Ameer nak jadi Doktor. Macam last week yang Ameer ada cakap kat Ibu tu. Tukar jadi Doktor balik lah.

And he hurried off upstairs to change his school uniform. Quickly did his homework without being asked. So that he can have uninterrupted time to watch his latest favourite cartoon, the Tom & Jerry show. That's Ameer for you. Business first, leisure ensues. Straight A's in his monthly tests thus far, except for lukisan.

Yes... Ameer's short lived ambition involves fantasy, no doubt. But based on noble hopes & desires, isn't it? The one thing that the Teacher could have done then, had she enquired that bit further, was to help translate & guide my child to similar "peace keeping" & "protect others" kind of occupations which are more common and real (to her) than NINJA. Polis ke, askar ke, FRU ke, lawyer ke, martial arts instructor ke, Menteri Pertahanan ke, NGO activist ke, UN Envoy peace keeper ke .... whatever la... whatever "REAL" to her la kan? That would still be a better attempt than simply pouring cold water to such a noble heart desire from an innocent child.

I grew up at an era when most parents & teachers similarly expected their kids to choose the standard occupation. Careers in arts, culinary, music, literature, professional sports for example, were not only unheard of, but almost a taboo especially if they are considered "ishhh.... tak boleh, kita orang Malaysia/Melayu/Islam" or simply if it's "non-money makers".

Somehow, as a child and up till form 5, I managed to 'stray'. I always came up with the not so standard answer, from the very-very low on approval rating (perempuan joget, no kidding!) to the neutral ones (welfare officer, lawyer, lecturer, engineer - boring stuff?) and right up to the ironic ones (nuclear physicst, air stewardess - ironic because I'm not that great in maths at all for the former and bukan ler lawa, tinggi lampai & sopan santun bebeno for the latter.... hahaha). During the interview for scholarship (at age 17), I made the interviewers fell off their chair - laughing, as I told them I wanted to go to US simply because I wanted so much to go to Disneyland, nothing else. Interestingly enough, the interviewers said, I've got "personal vision", and they like.....

What I ended up as today? A career totally unheard of by my kindergarten teacher back then.

So adakah ini satu fenomena Bapak Borek, Anak Rintik? Or more appropriately, Ibu bintik-bintik, Anak polka dot?

Not quite.

I think the world today offers a lot more than the standard occupations - unimaginable years ago. And who knows what the future holds?

The challenge I offer to teachers out there; please.....


For without exploring further what's on their mind, you would hastily reach at a conclusion that is only based on half of the picture. The half that is in your mind and yours only. NOT in the mind of the person that you should be exploring further - the child, the student.

I don't mean to be overly protective - but I think a child deserves some extra time to be heard first, rather than simply to be told off.

To anak-anak Ibu, BE WHAT YOU WANT TO BE so long you are happy with your choices and do your best in your chosen field (subject always to 'di jalan yang benar, halal dan baik). Bertebaran lah dimuka bumiNYA, rezeki itu ada di mana-mana, InsyaALLAH... I will pray that you will be guided, be protected, be reminded and be successful always, dunia & akhirat.



To Abang Idin, if you indeed choose that route, I don't mind getting complimentary pass to sit with the Man U players in their designated bench. Seriously.

To Hafiz, if you are still undecided which car to spare one for me from amongst all those in your future collection - berbuih dah mulut ibu cakap, I will easily settle for the Volkswagen Van okay? The ori version. Nothing more expensive.

To Ameer, the options are plenty still. No worries my boy.

Wednesday, April 01, 2009


I'm supposed to 'rest in bed'.

(Hmmm.... Shana, if you are reading this, for me, that is such a tall order, okay?!)

By right, there's so many things that I can do with this loooooonnnnggg forgiven period of being away from office. Plenty of time to finish off story books while I put up my feet & rest, plenty of opportunities to craft quiz papers for Hafiz & Ameer, plenty of minutes for blogging & facebooking, plenty of hours for unnecessary rearranging the can-no-longer-fit blouses & dresses in my wardrobe. Yup! plenty of things to do. (Unfortunately, flicking thru recipe books & trying those recipes out SHALL not (yet) become one possibilities... sigh.... mana boleh diri lama2? akakaka...excuse, excuse, excuse....)

But by left (vs right? got it? aiya... never mind...), I choose to feel bored.

We all have to choose our attitude. And today ... I choose to feel bored.

Other than the ever-so-challenging Bahasa Arab Tahun 2 homework that I've been helplessly helping Hafiz to finish ( do u know 'mirwahaton' means kipas/fan, 'suraton' means gambar/photo & 'dulabon' means almari/cupboard? now you know.... ), nothing around the house inspires or excites me this very minute.

And the fact that I can't face the notebook too long - because sitting up right is not equivalent to the 'resting in bed' kind of posture therefore not good for my lower abdomen - render me even more helpless.

AHhh... let it be. Let me see how long I will last with this attitude that I want to choose today - feeling bored.

Shortly, Ameer should be back from Kindy. And I am very sure I have another daunting task at hand - to copy & draw a few more transformer robots ( mak oiii!! didn't realise there are so many of them!). At least, there's an opportunity for me to be given a double or triple star for my drawing that are considered so out of this world by Ameer. He even complimented me yesterday, U r so HEBAT Ibu! ( Ameer actually used the word HEBAT!!! Funny eh?! I did't ask if he knew the meaning. It's not often you get a compliment from a 6 year old these days. So it didn't matter whether he knew the meaning or not. hehehe.... )

So what do I know. My feeling bored attitude helps me fill another page of a boring entry. That's quite an achievement for someone who's feeling bored.

I soooo wanna grab that gingerbread cookies and dunk 'em in nescafe tarik. But at this hour? Hmmmm....


p/s Ayah... if you are reading this, beras dah (nak) habis, telur (memang) dah habis. Even if I want to find alternative food - cat food pun dah habis daaa.... and as I'm strictly to rest in bed, hehehe.... nampak gaya, balik nanti Abang kena singgah Tesco la ya?