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Saturday, December 12, 2009

Aqiqah & Cukur Jambul

We missed to have it on the 7th day as baby Alisya was still under observation at home - recovering from jaundice.

Couldn't do it immediately after confinement either; for some other reasons I can't remember (surely not good enough a reason, else I would've remembered).

Couldn't have it during the recent Raya Haji break because Atok was scheduled to undergo for his eye surgery around the same time. He wouldn't be able to read his kitab berzanji and hence who to lead? Ayah? Err... I don't think "Syurga di wajahmu" is enlisted in the kitab.

And so if 'menurut kemampuan waktu', I figured we should have it during Awal Muharram: a long weekend, plenty of time for relatives & friends to come over, from near & afar. And plenty of time for them and us to recuperate thereafter. Besides, it coincides with the welcoming of the new year. Perfect isn't it? Can't be any better.

Somehow I did NOT pencil it in my calendar because ....errr...i know this sounds lame, but I was still on confinement when I thought of the above date - which means I was at home then, which means my ever so efficient assistant was not around to help update & block this date in my calendar for this glorious ceremony for the lil' princess. Being away from office had this inevitable impact of steering me away from the concept of real time. Is it that obvious that it was sheer laziness that held me back from jotting it down myself? (blame it on the raging post natal hormones.... and besides ....i was supposed to be on leave, wasn't I? got excuse maaa....hehehe).

Anyway, if it is to coincide with the new year, how could I forget it? It's not that difficult to remember. The radio and TV would surely be trumpeting the new year count down. So nothing to worry mate. All under control.

Or so I thought. But errkkkkk..... I was wrong.

For the past few weeks, in my mind, I kept associating it with the'new year'. It is the 'new year' indeed. Except that it is the new year of the muslim's hjrh calendar and NOT the gregarion calendar.

And the new year that I should really be planning for is less than 1 week away. NOT 19 days.


My mind has played a trick on me.

Breathe in....
breathe out....
breathe in....
breathe out......

NOW on your mark, get set, GO!

Run Ibu, RUN!!! Catch that lamb if you can. And go find a pair of silvery scissors.

This sounds like I've thrown myself onto the pitch again, for the new season of an Amazing Race.

A race against time!


Updates: Sunday 2.08 pm

Kambing dah tangkap & dah tambat ...phew.....

Nasi beriani gam secured.... phew.. phew.... (thanks Rynne! mmmuahhh...)

Cupcakes & tartlets ordered .... phew...phew....phew..... (thanks Zai! muahhhhss....)

When the going gets tough, the tough gets going. I am so fond of last minute sprint like this working under extreme pressure, or to borrow Kak Yatt's (No Time Off) term that I've just learned; "jamak ta'khir" stunt .... eyyy... hehehe.... sabor jer lah!

Friday, November 13, 2009

This and that

Frankly... I don't quite like the title. It feels like I'm not focused. And I'm about to ramble.

But yeah... I am about to ramble. Hence, tak pe lah .... there's always an exception from time to time.


Did he just got a windfall or durian runtuh that he's not telling me about? First the GPS. Then the waterjet (just the waterjet - not the 'ski' yet hehe..). Then the PC mobile speaker set. And he's also been talking about upgrading his handphone. He's even contemplating on the k-ok set like our friend TAB owns.


Isyyyhhh.... Musykil ni!

Anyway... it's his money la kan? But of course I did remind him - Bang, jgn lupa register for Qurban ya?

p/s Wouldn't it be nice for a change if once in a while kaum Ayah shop spontaneously for baby's clothings? Or baby's toys at least? I did say once in a while kan?


He missed an entire section of his English final exam paper (name the body parts of an animal - an elephant). Berangan jer budak sorang ni. I always had to remind him of the F word. FOCUS!! And when I asked him how come he missed that one whole section worthy of 10 points, he replied "Sorry Ibu, I guess I forgot the F word". Hmm...pandai pulak dia menjawab. Anak siapa ni? And he quickly answered the questions - easy peasy full 10 marks - but way too late. The irony is, with whatever remaining marks, he actually tops his class for English.

And he tops his class for Science too. Sikit lagi full mark.

But can't say the same for BM. Jauh panggang dari api - though he has improved. He finally clinched a B. That I must say, alhamdulillah. It proves that nothing is impossible (other than me improving my culinary skill .... ahaks!!)

By the way, Hafiz ni 'alphabets friendly' (now that's new....) for the time being. He didn't just score straight A (Science & English so far) but also B (BM so far) and C (Bahasa Arab so far).

Awaiting Maths paper anxiously. Hopefully not D !!!!

Sony PSP is at stake here OK?


He is definitely following my footsteps when it comes to 'shopping'. Everytime we go out, he surely wants to buy something. No matter how small or how cheap. One day it's a Bakugan. Next, Ben 10. Another, Bumble Bee or sedara mara Transformers yang lain2. Quite a natural negotiator this one. His typical modus operandi: He will first pick an expensive one. And when I say "No Ameer! This is too expensive!", he will quickly go into scanning mode and grab another one that is, say .... one fourth of the price. He will run back to me and while still gasping for air - he will grab my hand and look into my eyes like a little lost puppy; "Ni murah je Ibu!". Has he been reading my kedai runcit minutes of meeting on competitive pricing or what? Hmmm.....Anak siapa ni?

And with him accompanying me for my practice on 'detaching from Baby Alisya' this past week in preparation for returning to work - this is translated into a short 2 hour trip to downtown Rawang, hopping from Bintang to Parkson to Guardian to Popular Bookstore, etc, from time to time MUAHAHAHA....... you can imagine ntah apa ke benda Ameer has successfully ended up with. Each time using the same modus operandi as above and despite knowing this, I still fall for it. Aiyaaa....

Sometimes I managed to switch his picking to another useful item. Like a tomato plant seed. So now he's experiencing live farming. Only problem is, I now have to answer the same question every now and then, "When will my tomato plant grow, Ibu?" or "What time of the day today will it grow the tomato?" . Padahal baru 2-3 hari tanam. LOL!!!

Oh! By the way, I got myself some seeds too. Tapi yang menanamnya Bibi... no surprise there ya? And during dinner last 2 nights, Ameer asked, "Ibu.... when will your PLATYPUS grow?" Ayah & I both ... what platypus? He was quick to clarify " Alah... the seed, the plant!". Ohhhh.... PETOLA la Ameer.... PE-TO-LA!!! Bukan platypus.

He simply replied, "Whatever..."

Ameer oh Ameer....


Safely tucked in his hostel. Still wanting us to visit him every weekend - which is kind of mutual. Each visit I have to ask him, "What did you lose this time?". Ada jer barang hilang. Track bottom. Belt. T-Shirt. I kept asking, eyyy... sekolah 'integrasi' (i.e. sekolah agama turned full boarding school) pun ada yang panjang tangan ke? His reply was, "Sekolah yang Integrasi bu. Not the students...) Hmmmm....Pandai jugak dia menjawab. Anak siapa ni? The last draw for me was a very new Adidas T which was meant as a reward for something. What was it? His TaeKwando tournament ke? Tak ingat. I said, that's it. No more branded t-shirts to be brought to school. Yang tu kalau nak, kalau Ibu mampu lagi la nak beli lepas ni, you can only wear them during school hols.

Surprisingly, he also agreed with that suggestion. Generally, they (the kids) suspected the makcik cleaner. Once they saw her wearing a track bottom belonging to one of his dorm mates. How did they know? Oii.... terpampang nombor pendaftaran dobi on the side of the track bottom. Alahai Makcik!!!

But as for the branded Ts - I think it may be some other kids la. Don't think the Makcik cleaner can fit into Abang Idin size XS t-shirts.

BABY ALISYA princess ni.... musyuk, musyuk 'sanjerrrr' ( a combi of 'sayang' plus 'manja' - a term coined by WanShana). Will have a dedicated entry on her soon :)

So there goes my rambling on this and that. Happy day ahead people!

Sunday, November 08, 2009

7 week young

Time swooshes by....

Baby Alisya has lost her newborn look and smell. But still constantly commanding attention like Ms Universe.

She now appears steady and alert when held upright. She smiles back at me more frequently now during our coos and gaga sessions. Oh.. she can pout her lips too, almost mimicking Amber Chia.

When on her tummy, she can lift her head and chest for short periods, almost as if she's doing mini-press ups. And as if sneering at me, "Look Ibu... it's not that hard to exercise, up one, up two, up three... see..... if only you try!" (Sigh..... me and my non materialising exercise routines.... hehe!)

I guess it won't be long before she can roll from back to front, or front to back.

By the way, I just discovered the weighing scale is actually out of order. All these while was thinking I'm one below 60. Until few nights ago when Ayah stepped on it and the scale still read one below 60. Yikessss! I'm doomed. 7 more days to go. Don't think I can get back into my office attire..... I should really join Alisya in her press ups soon.

Thursday, November 05, 2009

Enjit Enjit Semut

I am declaring WAR against those ants!!

How could they trespass our territory? Baby Alisya's territory to be exact.

She hardly cries (except for her feeding) and to hear her sudden outburst - and seeing those army of ants marching in the not so straight line in her crib really made my blood go upstairs.

How dare you terrorise and cause grievous hurt to my baby?!!

WAR I tell you. WAR!!!! (Pardon me.... just finished reading The Camel Club by David Baldacci... hehehe..... )

p/s Ayah said, must be the traces of the milk (my breast milk mind you!) that attracted the ants. Is it really that sweet? No wonder Ayah is on the watch-out-zone for diabetes now... hihihi...

Tuesday, November 03, 2009

Happy Birthday Ayah!

Ayah turned 42 yesterday. True, only 42. Eventhough he can pass as nearing warga emas age judging from just his silver hair alone. That is if you only look at his hair la. He still carries with him his boyish look. Albeit with a few wrinkles here and there (and the grumpiness now and then... ekekeke!).

Happy Birthday, Abang! With much love.

I managed to grab tiny tots that the boys chose for him. Those are their birthday presents for Ayah.

Moi? I haven't bought any birthday present for him (yet). I have a good excuse; 'langkah tak berapa panjang' for the time being. Still mainly around Rawang town only. Here in Rawang, we have Parkson Ria, Popular bookstore, Giant supermarket, Bintang & Mydin department stores and NSK cash & carry. Tesco is still under construction and will only open in a month or two. Which means, nothing much of manly gadget offerings or IT gizmos (imagine Imbi Plaza or Low Yatt ok?) for consideration. No - the rows of hardware shops in Rawang that boast a wide variety of gardening tools, DIY equipment and the likes - do not count for Ayah. Those kind of backbreaking and sweat inducing tools are not for him. Unless of course if they have a DIY 'rocketeer' to make one elevate or fly in style? Don't think they have that. Not in Rawang.

There are the typical eating outlets like KFC, McDonald, Pizza Hut and some others like Secret Recipe, Delifrance and Bangi Kopitiam which I can drag him, I mean invite him, for a semi romantic meal for two. However, I'm sure I would keep looking at the watch thinking; ' dah bangun ke?' or 'baby nak nenen ke?'. That would further discount the semi romantic meal for two.

Home delivery pizza for the whole family maybe? Except I probably only have RM50 in my purse. The last time I asked, the delivery boy didn't carry any hand held credit card swipe machine. Banyak nya excuse I can come up with kan?

I'm sure a hearty home cooked meal would be lovely, some would say. I'm sure it would be. But I don't know when that will happen in this home. So husbands from those homes with such lovely home cooked meal - be thankful. The ones that I can manage, like the ever so sedap and finger licking sambal telur that only Ayah & I enjoy (hahaha), I already cooked last weekend. In hindsight, I should have spared that for his birthday. So no special home cooked meal for Ayah from Ibu for his birthday.

Some would probably say ... alah.... why the fuss for just one day? It happens every year anyway.

I don't know about you. But I sure do make some fuss for the birthdays of my loved ones. I do, under normal circumstances, make the effort to make the one day of the year a little bit extra special for them. No matter how busy. No matter how tight financially (like this time in particular - when the tax man just sent a love letter to me saying I owe him some more still when ironically just a few months back he mailed me quite a fat cheque for overpayment.... what larrrr..... why chase me? I remit every month ma.... Chase larrrr those unscrupulous filthy rich non tax declaring business people out there!)

Having said that, to be honest - actually .... there are some windows of opportunity that I could grab to go buy him something or organise a mini birthday do with the boys (eh! and the little girl too!! ) like we usually do, if I really want to. That's it! If I really want to.

Does that mean I do not really want to - make the usual fuss - for Ayah's birthday this year?


Haiyaa..... I think I know why lah. It's very clear in my mind why this is happening this year. For me to know, not required for him to find out. (My good friend WanShana would be so not agreeable with me on this one. She would probably say that I tend to hide my feelings and that I probably should open up and tell how I feel more often. Yaaaaa right!!! Like I can do that? Feelings..... Aiya... cannot lah.... I'm certified incompetent in that department!)

I feel sad, really. For allowing myself to NOT making enough effort for Ayah's birthday fuss this year. Then again, I am fully aware why I indulge myself with not really wanting to do much of anything for his birthday this year. We didn't even gather around him at bed time to sing the birthday song. How pathetic is that?! Sad but true.

Alah... blame it on mild post partum lousy mood la senang ek? Takkan Ayah nak query lebih2 pulak? Scientifically acceptable what - though not scientifically proven why just yet. (Whether post partum mood is the real reason or not is a different story la kan?)

Eh! Hang on a minute! Maybe I can tie a big pink ribbon or pink bow around Baby Alisya (after fully bathed and dolled up in pink, dah wangi2 semua tu.....) and hand her to Ayah for him to cuddle? Hey.... that would be quite different. Ya.... maybe I would do that.

Now.......where (and how) can I find a big, gigantic, humongous pink ribbon or pink bow in a jiffy before he returns from work tonite? Tell me.


Thursday, October 29, 2009

6 weeks young

Before she turns 16, I might as well get cracking with whatever that I have on my mind.

So let's hear the drum roll...... Introducing...... Our new pride and joy, our latest addition to the Rawang clan.....

Nor Diana Alisya binti Sabarudin
Born 4:57pm on 16th September 2009 at Ampang Puteri Hospital
Birthweight 2.88kg
(Photo at 4 days young)

6 weeks have gone and what have I discovered? Nothing can really fully prepare one for the reality of having a newborn baby. At least that's how I feel. The first few weeks of Baby Alisya's life seem like a chaotic whirlwind of new experiences and sensations, as we all get to know this new little princess that have come to join our family.

She's my fourth child no doubt, but it has been 6 years since I last took care of something so tiny and so fragile yet so powerful as to attract the whole wide world's attention to itself and that's her and her alone. I had to learn, unlearn and re-learn all over again on how to breastfeed, to nourish, to bathe, to change the nappies .....

( Oppss... I think I hear a siren... Do you hear it too? I think it's Baby Alisya's wailing for her feed. Gotta go .... 'nenen' time. I'll be back.... )


p/s You get the drift? I wasn't lying....

Thursday, October 15, 2009

4 weeks gone

And I still have not given any update or further detail re the little princess.

I want to do it with style, wrapped with words of hope, prayers, wisdom and perhaps, upload some photos too. Itu yg sampai la ni tak hapdet-hapdet lagi tuh.... kakakaka.... what laaarrrr...

I promise I will do it. I must... Ni kan "Cerita Ibu"... Esok2 dah nyanyuk, tak ingat.... camner? But not today la... ekeke

Today, I just want to share or rather confess ... that I have not managed to do much since the last 4 weeks. Other than taking care of the lil' one and bonding with her. The rest of the items in my checklist are pretty much still left unchecked.

The few trivial ones that I have somehow managed to do....

Started "Camel Club" (by David Baldacci), at page 100++ now, 500++ more pages to go. ( I can now recall what OCD means - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder - thanks 'David'... ehehehe...)

Fixed 'jelly' (ready mix, just pour hot water & stir & store in the fridge for some time) for Hafiz. Suka dierrr....

Made some "ais krim malaysia" (you know, the one in long plastic tube tuh!) - sunquick orange flavour, for the boys. Maka semut2 pun sangat sukalah merayap2 menghidu sisa2 aiskrim yg merata2 depan TV tu - much to the annoyance of Bibi.

Removed all my maternity clothing from the wardrobe. But they are just lumped on a side table infront of the wardrobe!! Kat mana nak simpan nih? urghh... Sungguh berselerak.... Anyone or do you know anyone with buns in the oven wanting some maternity clothing? Email me....



No more really! That's about it....

My house is in a mess. I am in a mess.

Oh my!! Teruk nya.... And I invited some friends over for BBQ some days soon? What was I thinking!!????


Monday, September 28, 2009

Profile updated

Taking one baby step at a time ....

First things first - update the profile.

SO now it reads, bla...bla.... mother of FOUR (previously three) ...bla..bla.... who kisses her CHILDREN (previously sons) ....

Membawa maksud ..... ?

Salam :)

Monday, September 14, 2009

Still mother of three

My introductory profile on the right hand column cannot be updated yet.

Yup.... still mother of three, for the time being.

It must be very cozy 'in there', kan? Syiok dia dok dalam tu.

And yeah.... my initial plan to update week by week... no, I knew that would be too ambitious; perhaps month by month - more like it .... even that tak menjadi. hehehe......

And I can't be updating hour by hour pulak by now kan? The countdown? Ekekeke.... konon.

Will update soon with some reflections hopefully on how the last +/- 9 months have been treating me.....

Meanwhile, say a lil' prayer that everything turns out well ya? Ma kasihhhhhh.... berkat doa di bulan Ramadhan ni kan?


p/s Nama pun belum decide lagi.

Tuesday, August 04, 2009

School Closure

Just got a phone call from Abang Idin; his school has to be closed with immediate effect and all students must be picked up before 12 midnight.

Seems that 60 (or was it 80?) students were 'suspected' to have symptoms of Influenza A H1N1. Ramai tu.....

And for a boarding school - with students studying & living in close proximity with each other - I suppose, we'd be safe than sorry.

But to pick up the kids before 12 midnight tonite? Lucky thing we are just 15-20 mins drive away. Kesian la pulak kat sapa2 yg jauh-jauh tu. Tried to call my friend, Eyerin - just in case she needs me to pick up his son too for tonite - couldn't get thru la pulak. Must try again shortly.

I'm at home actually - kan I'm in the "high risk" category? So Ayah has advised me to just stay at home.

So for the next 1 week - all three musketeers would be at home. Dah pesan kat Bibi - need to manage their hygiene routines in "bazooka" style. No mercy!

Semuga kita semua dijauhkan lah dari penyakit2 yg sedang menular ni..... Amin.

Take care everyone.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Absence makes the heart grow fonder

He doesn't call me that often any more...

Not like he used to....

To ask how I am doing ...

To ask on some little things no matter how insignificant or trivia ...

To share bits & pieces of daily happenings from his side ...

I guess, he must have found his footing 'elsewhere' ...

I guess he now have other new found mates ...

I guess he now have other priorities and other matters to attend to ...

Wasn't this what I once told him so?

So why am I now the one fretting over it?

Oh well..... what can I do.... absence does make the heart grow fonder.

After all .... he is my first born.

Oh how I miss my eldest son, Abang Idin!

Still... I wish him all the best over there (yeah, just 15 - 20 mins drive from home anyway ....) and hope he will make the best out of the opportunity made available to him.


p/s Pesanan penaja: Tak score kalu next term exam, siap badan ye anak ku!!!

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Back to ...... BM ?!

Kejap English, kejap BM. Eh... bukan, can be back to the other languages too now.

Then to have it re-introduced in 2012, including those already completed some years in English half way thru? Dey gomen ..... u want to 'reverse', you start fresh from Year One la.....

Shortsighted betul lah.

Semuga negara kita dapat menghasilkan lebih ramai sasterawan negara la esok-esok ye? Hmmmmphhhh........

Friday, July 10, 2009


Every feeling is a valid feeling. To the feeler of course.

And today, I am feeling:
1. Taken for granted
2. Not cared for
3. Easily dispensable by someone

All because how I was or rather still am being treated by someone.

This is my half of the picture. Whether this is what that someone intended to make me feel by the action (or rather lack of it) is a separate issue altogether.

This is what I feel. And I have every right to feel how I want to feel.

I am not much of a feeler I've said before. And so when I am feeling something and actually admitting the feeling, that someone can be rest assured I am really, really, really feeling it.

Oh well... don't blame it on my 7 months pregnancy raging hormones. My hormones and the bun in the oven are doing just fine. This I can be very sure because none of my work is negatively affected at all.

Have I made my feelings known to that someone?

You bet I have.

Did that help?

Not at all. In fact, it only helped confirm the feelings. DARN!!!!

If that someone ever care to read this blog, then by all means, please be reminded ; "jangan salahkan ibu mengandung" if I start to behave so unlike me hereafter.

I am extremely pissed off okay? Don't try to pacify me at this very minute.

Don't forget. Every feeling is a valid feeling - to the feeler of course.

So to that someone - just back off!! Just let me "savour" this very feeling.

Ohhhh... syioknya....... allowing myself to indulge in my own feelings.

Hmmm... puas hati dah lepas geram!

Ibu laaa...
Siapa lagi?

Friday, July 03, 2009

Officially Above 40

Yesterday I officially became 'above' 40. Yes - years of age.

Surprisingly, I didn't feel "depressed" being ushered into the carat club.

Is it all in the mind?

I reflect on the journey of my life thus far, and I feel blessed. I must admit that I might have gone through some mind talking in the past, questioning or rather imagining how my life could have turned up today if I had done this or done that differently .....

In the end, I came to the conclusions that everything happens for a reason. Sometimes we may be able to know the answers immediately, a lot of times we also have to accept that we may not be able know the answers or the rationale pronto and that only Allah knows best and hence, redha ....

I'm sure it would be more interesting for reading if I can substantiate or cite some examples of what I meant. But I know for a fact some of the examples may be controversial too, and may hurt the feelings of some people who I know or people whom I don't know, or hurt the feelings of my loved ones even. So yeah..... I'm playing it safe and not be an open book here.

Do I wish some things about me or about my life would change moving forward?

Sure I do!

And no... it does not involve me targetting to become a Datin Seri someday. Nenek Berseri maybe.... hahahaha......

But yeahhh.... sure I want some changes in my life moving forward.

I want to commit more to practice Islam as my Ad Din - way of life - rather than just complying to the basic tenets.

I want to spend more quality time with my family.

I want to love and to be loved more - for the right reasons.

I want to be able to guide & coach my children & my family more wisely, without necessarily imposing strict standards on the ultimate outcome solely based on short term worldly desires.

I still want to be able to enjoy myself though but with just life simple pleasures, nothing complicated, thank you.

I want to continue to be able to vision the larger picture, the light at the end of the tunnel; and be liberated by the choices that I make towards those visions; rather than be stuck in the box with the cynical toughts of me being the victim succumbing to other people's pressures without having a choice to make the changes for myself or my family.

In short, there's still quite a lot more that I want to achieve moving forward. Both for "here" as well as preparation for the "here after".

One thing for sure: I want to grow older wisely and gracefully. Accepting what has happened and what will happen is in the hand of the Almighty. Yet with me having the power and the choice to shape & steer how I think, feel and decide for things that matter.

So yeah.... I feel happy .... so happy birthday to me, indeed!!

p/s I do have a choice to make Ayah realise how hurtful it can be for a wife to have to keep wishing that her birthday present is forthcoming from her hubby without her having to poke, remind, urge, demand, threaten or twist his hubby's arm, don't I ? And yet I still do have the choice to just keep it bottled up in me too - with the same rationale,'s the thought that counts, right? The choice would be mine I know. But what would you do?

Monday, June 15, 2009

Selingan: Karan oh karan!

Received the latest electricity bill yesterday.

Ayah got an electrifying shock that almost turned his hair from silver to blue.

RM600++ kegunaan semasa!

What the ...... @#$%&!!! ( I can buy at least 3 pairs of good shoes on sale woi....)

Later in the evening, when Hafiz & Ameer were ready to call it a day, they had an easy approval to sleep in Ayah & Ibu's master bedroom.

They thought because we missed them too (they were literally forced to sleep in their own room during the hols).

Truth was? Heh.... save sikit karan, kurang satu aircond, kurang satu lampu tangga, kurang satu night light. Not sure if this can be a long term solution though.

Karan oh karan .......

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

School Hols: Boys run amok in Rawang

Surprised? Of course I shouldn't be, right? What else should I expect when 3 boys are home "alone" with no adult supervision (minus bibi).

Monday & Tuesday gone. The house seemed to be in good order from the naked eye.

Tapi sebenarnya...... dah ada collateral damage!!

Monday afternoon, Ameer called to report on the mischievousness of Abang Hafiz who wanted to take out the big water barrel ( alah... big plastic drum/container yg standby to be filled up with water in case of 'catuan air' tu..... ) from the guest room's toilet. It is a big 'drum' ok! And so in the attempt to bring that thing out, the mirror & glass shelf got knocked by it .... apa lagi....pecah la cermin segala.....

Yg dia nak pi bawak keluar mende tu apa hal? Macam tak cukup toys!!!! Grrrr...... He has not been able to answer this question still. ( Kalau boring sangat, pegi la kejar kucing ke, tangkap belalang ke..... ) That was Hafiz.

Tuesday (semalam la kan?), it was Hafiz's turn to report on Ameer's misadventure pulak.

Ntah apa cerita hujung pangkal satu hapah pun Ibu tak faham but the conclusion? Ameer has broken the liquid soap/shampoo dispenser in the boys' room toilet pulak. Ameer put up a defence, bukan dia buat, that thing pecah sendiri. Yeahhhh right!!!


Baru 2 hari !!!

Who would be calling to report on whom this afternoon. Nanti kita tunggu liputan lintas langsung.


Thursday, May 28, 2009

Ace for Ameer

Ameer was having high fever during his exam week recently and ended up taking the papers 3 days later.

His kindy teacher was quite worried for him, because he was still recuperating and not quite as chirpy and bouncy as normal.

I was the one who pacified the teacher, it's ok, no worries la teacher..... it's just mid term exam.... hehehe....

(In case you are wondering..... ha'ah... kindy kat Rawang ni got mid-term exam! Don't play-play! 5 subjects altogether; English, BM, Science, Maths & Arts).

He brought home his results earlier this week...

Si kenit tu, yg nak jadi Ghobot Bumble Bee, Ninja & entah apa-apa lagi..... who was still not fully recuperated from his fever when he took his exam, scored straight As surprisingly.

Oh well.... almost.... A- for Arts (agaknya dia kaler rambut orang warna purple lagi kot?)

100% for 2 subjects & 98% for another two. I looked at the papers with 98% and noticed that the points deducted were insignificant ,e.g. number "2" tulis senget sikit, and "9", the tiang tak cukup panjang. Oh well... the teacher has got to find some errors lah kan? Takkan nak bagi dia straight 100% semua kot? So no big deal la..... Bagi chan kat cikgu dia.

It was a pleasant surprise indeed for both Ayah & Ibu... Alhamdulillah....

A nervous alert for Hafiz (who's sitting for his exam this week only).

A relief for his teacher. (She's taking him to McDonalds this Sunday. But I think she's taking them all out, not just Ameer) .

As a reward, I bought him Mentos (yes, the candy, orange flavour) & a white t-shirt with Bumble Bee (the ghobot) print from Tesco. Cheap-cheap one only.

He was happy enough, and said "Nak jumpa Anis nanti, boleh pakai baju ni". HAHAHAHA....
No need to guess hard what (or rather who) his motivator is - to score straight As.


Friday, May 22, 2009

Tentang 'Murah Rezeki' dan 'Anak'

This post has got no relation what so ever to my current mak buyung condition.

Rather, a random sharing of what I heard over the radio this morning.

The station? IKIM. Ayah's choice as set alarm/wake up call every morning after the azan.

I don't know how (or rather choose not to know how) to 'operate' the radio. So I let it be.

And I thought, ok what pagi2 dengar IKIM? (Dalam kereta lain channel....hicks!!!)

Walau pun sekadar setengah jam dalam rutin bersiap di pagi hari sebelum ke tempat kerja - every little helps. Walau sebesar zarah. Indeed.

Pagi tadi berkenaan anak & rezeki.

Siapa pernah minta doa murah rezeki? Tipu lah kan kalau kita jawab tak pernah sekali pun!

For most of us, paling busuk pun at least sekali - mesti pernah memanjatkan doa untuk dimurahkan rezeki.

Tapi ramai juga terlupa nak sambung, "biar lah rezeki itu dari rezeki yg halal dan baik......"
(peringatan untuk diri ibu sendiri.....)

Pagi tadi kat radio, Ustaz tu berkongsi cerita, masa sessi kaunseling untuk ibu bapa .... ada ibu bapa yang mengadu nasib kat Ustaz....

"Tak tau kenapa dan apa silap kami sehingga anak kami ni nakal / jahat / kurang ajar / biadap / ponteng sekolah / gagal periksa / hisap ganja / minum arak / seks rambang / etc / etc / etc .... Pelajaran & tuisyen, kami utamakan. Kelas agama & mengaji, kami upah khas ustaz datang mengajar. Buku/peralatan sekolah lengkap. Makanan lazat dan sihat. Duit belanja sekolah secukupnya. Pengangkutan terurus. Rumah selesa. Waktu berkualiti / percutian bersama keluarga pun kami tak lupa. Kami sendiri pun sebagai ibu bapa, rasanya menunjukkan contoh yang elok kepada anak kami (puasa, solat, mengaji, budi bahasa, etc, etc ). Tapi kenapa pulak dia jadi macam ni, perangai tak senonoh? Kami buntu Ustaz. Tak tau apa silap kami."

Apabila ditanya tentang perkara2 atau contoh2 buruk yang mungkin ada dilakukan oleh ibu bapa tersebut, hampir kesemuanya dinafikan sekeras2 nya.

Setelah puas soal selidik latar belakang ibu bapa, secara zahir & logiknya, Ustaz berpendapat memang tidak masuk akal kenapa anak tersebut sanggup berperangai sebegitu sehingga tidak menyenangkan hati & perasaan ibu bapa tersebut.

Tapi kebingungan terurai apabila satu soalan cepumas diajukan kepada ibu bapa tersebut.

"Macam mana dengan sumber pendapatan tuan & puan? Adakah dari punca rezeki yg halal dan baik?"

Kedua ibu bapa tersebut terus terdiam. Membisu seribu bahasa.

Pertanyaan di ulang sekali lagi.

Berdesing bagai halilintar menembusi gegendang telinga kedua ibu bapa tersebut, menyedarkan mereka dari lamunan mereka selama ini.

Walaupun pada zahirnya mereka itu nampak sama sahaja seperti kebanyakan ibu bapa muslim moden yg lain; dari kalangan keluarga yang baik2, berpendidikan sederhana-tinggi, kerjaya yang bagus dan boleh diterima di mata masyarakat, bekerja dari pagi sampai petang, TETAPI soalan Ustaz yang terakhir itu membuatkan mereka teringat kepada perkara-perkara lain yang telah terlepas pandang dari mata kasar mereka sebelum ini.

Mereka teringat akan ......

Habuan dari kontraktor/konsultan samada yang bentuk kewangan secara tunai atau caruman tetap ke akaun semasa setiap bulan ataupun yang berbentuk barangan yang berharga mahupun pakej percutian, malahan juga bantuan mengubahsuai kediaman atau perkhidmatan membaikpulih kenderaan tanpa sebarang caj yang diterima atau diminta tanpa segan silu.....

Sogokan wang dari pembekal agar proses penyemakan dan pembayaran bil dipercepatkan dari tempoh yang sepatutnya tanpa sebarang dokuman pengesahan .....

Tuang kerja dalam lingkungan 1-2 jam setiap hari. Antaranya hasil himpunan waktu dari keluar sarapan, tengahari, minum petang lebih dari waktu yang dihadkan, melayari internet selain dari tujuan rasmi bekerja, berborak bergossip dengan kawan sepejabat atau melalui telefon, membelek majalah hiburan yang tiada kena mengena dengan soal kerja - kesemuanya tanpa rasa bersalah dan tanpa rasa perlu untuk menggantikan semula jam-jam yang terhimpun itu ......

Membuat tuntutan perjalananan yang lebih dari had / polisi yang ditetapkan ......

Membuat tuntutan palsu seperti 'reimbursement of claims / out of pocket expenses' untuk menjamu & melayan klien, walhal membawa family pergi makan2 di restoran mana-mana, membeli hadiah untuk klien atau rakan niaga ketika urusan melawat kilang di luar negara, walhal membeli cenderahati untuk sanak saudara dan kawan2 sepejabat, meminta peniaga menaikkan harga yang ditulis dalam resit pembelian agar boleh membuat tuntutan lebih walhal kos sebenar yang dibelanjakan jauh lebih rendah......

Dan sebagainya.......

Dan sebenarnya perkara-perkara diatas jika dikira semula dan ditukar ke bentuk wang tunai, jumlahnya secara purata bulanan mungkin sahaja melebihi dari jumlah gaji yang rasmi tercetak di slip gaji ibu bapa tersebut.

Sang ibu bapa itu tersentak dari mimpi buruk mereka.

Kelu lidah untuk berkata.

Tapi terasa seperti sebilah pisau yang tajam menikam menembusi jantung, disusuli dengan perahan limau nipis ke atas luka tikaman yang masih berdarah itu.

Mereka tersedar, rupa-rupanya anak mereka sebenarnya selama ini bukanlah dibesarkan dengan sumber pendapatan yang boleh dikira sebagai rezeki yang halal dan baik .......

Ustaz bertanya secara umum, siapa yang tidak mahukan murah rezeki? Rezeki yang melimpah ruah?

Kalau kita berdoa dan berusaha bersungguh, insyaALLAH akan dikabulkan.

TAPI kita jangan lupa berusaha keras dan tekad berdoa agar rezeki yg murah dan melimpah ruah yang dikurniakan kepada kita untuk menampung dan menyara keluarga kita, adalah dari sumber yang halal dan baik.

Justeru, agar darah yang mengalir dan daging yang memejal dalam tubuh kita, suami/isteri kita, anak-anak kita, cucu-cucu kita juga akan terbit dan terbentuk dari sumber rezeki yang halal dan baik; tanpa syak dan ragu-ragu.

Ada kala balasan untuk perbuatan kita di"bayar" tunai depan mata.

Persoalannya, samada kita sedar atau tidak?

Kita manusia. Mudah lupa Mudah lalai. Mudah leka.

Catatan hari ini sekadar ingat mengingat kan sesama kita, lebih-lebih lagi peringatan untuk diri ibu sendiri, ke jalan yang lebih lurus dan benar dan bercahaya.

Semuga dapat kita fikir-fikirkan bersama dan mengambil pengajaran yang sewajarnya.

Tepuk dada tanya selera.


Tuesday, May 19, 2009

1 minute fame

Yeah.... so I might have secured 1 minute worth of newspaper reading time from some people today.... hehehe....

Half page, above the men's shoes. Front page online (snapshot summary). hmmm .... not bad an allocation.

Sure enough I received some feedbacks via sms, email & phone calls from my "fans" ( err... and one via blog comment too :).

Some actually alerted by me in the first place. Hahaha.... gila glamer aper?

But let me share with you some of the feedbacks, which I thought are enlightening :

1. "Your pix looks good" ( from someone outside "fan club" - I know, pay awards is due in 2 mths time, so no surprise....)

2. "Very proud of u la... terus lari masuk resource centre" (from hubby's niece, yes - stay sweet dear, I promise I shall sponsor the well known "Grade A Choice" eggs (bunga telur) for your wedding)

3. "Dah nampak this am. 'Hubby' pointed out!" (from one Majlis Tertinggi member - even the hubbies are keeping eyes on us!! Alamak....)

4. "Alamak mem, kenapa tak pakai baju lip-lap masa interview? And what retails skills are u talking about? Maybe boleh try? " (from another Majlis Tertinggi member - see? eyes for details... bling-bling yg dia cari....sah MT!!)

5. "U ni, posing pun macam debator ... " ( from yet another Majlis Tertinggi member - hello friend, I tak posing pun tau.... dia 'tangkap' during live interview. So sejak azali style cam tu la agaknyer?)

6. "Wah. Aku dah baca article kau..... Besaunya gambar! Tak nampak perut pun!" ( who would dare to comment like that if not another Majlis Tertinggi member? Kah!kah! kah! Aiya Mdm! Kalau nampak perut, at least orang tau la I am not naturally tembam ok? Rather buatan orang tu..... )

7. "I saw oredi. Waaaaaa memang ada gaya. Was trying to spot the ring on d finger la...." ( tidak syak lagi, obviously has to come from another Majlis Tertinggi member. Tak boleh buat apa la kan kita ni semua? rings, bling-bling, gemuk vs kurus... that shall continue to be our key highlights of any day's discussion..... hehehe..... Mdm, for the record, not the Mont Blanc ring)

8. "Sis, cantik gambar you, Well done" ( from my junior Srikandi. errr... thank you sis. But well done on the news coverage ker? Or well done on the photo editing to cover up my pimples? Musykil nih...)

9. "Mdm, read ur interview today. Good job!" ( from ex-colleague... thanks dear! Ber-madam madam pulak you! hehehe)

10. "Glamer... front page, btimes. Ada staff dah tanya" ( from non other than my no 1 fan, my hubby. hehehe... tell your staff, if they want to apply, they can send their CVs through you. Moonlight as recruitment agent, bley? )

Cukup la kan..... 1 minute fame, as I said.

Orang lain keluar masuk paper saban hari tak ambik pusing pon! Kita sekali sekala, terasa la glamer dak? hehehehe.....

Itu lah cerita ibu hari ni.

The real message of the news article ? Ah... serious stuff like that, next time lah :)


Thursday, May 14, 2009

I cheated .......

The temptation too strong.

The curiosity uncontrollable.

The waiting game unbearable.

And so I cheated.

I found the answer online - on American Idol official website.

OHHHHOHOHOHOHOOOO....... Sedihnya....... My favourite has been booted out.

Ayah, you have to console me tonite. I am sad, very very sad .......

p/s I confessed to Ayah last night, "Sorry lah Bang, I so minat kat this Idol. But I think one of the reasons is because he resembles you in some ways, really....." ( cover line, cover line, hehe!). Last weekend when we were in England (err... the Optical), I even asked Ayah to choose a frame like 'his'. Maybe after this I should ask Ayah to start 'simpan jambang' like him. Uhuhuhu.....

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Mother's Day Treat

"Ibu, this weekend, you just relax okay? It's Mother's Day weekend", said Hafiz.

"Cool ..." I said, "Are you boys going to have a special treat for me this weekend?"

"I will massage your body & feet!" volunteered Hafiz, motioning the karate-chop that he usually rendered for my back & shoulder.

"I will draw cartoons for you - lots & lots of cartoon!", said Ameer.

"Good! And who's going to cook for me?", I threw in the twist.

"Err... Masak?!!! Ala..... Hafiz tak tau masak la Ibu...." he replied in a very serious tone.

"Nanti takut kena api la Ibu!" added Ameer.

Ayah either pura-pura tak dengar or chose tak nak dengar kot.

" Hmmm..... okaylah.... tak pe, nanti dah besar esok, belajar masak sedap2 & masak untuk Ibu okay? "

"OKAY!!!!" they boys cheered.

Then suddenly Hafiz asked, "Err... apa yang senang nak masak, Ibu?"

Alamak.... he asked me, this Ibu? Apa yang senang nak masak? Oh oh.... in trouble!

"Err...... Maggi maybe?!" came my instant reply, as instant as the 'dish' itself.

"HA AH LAH IBU!!!! Yess.... I think I can cook for you on Mother's Day!!!! Yes, I will cook something for you!", replied Hafiz jubilantly.

"AMEER pun!!!" yg kenit pun joined sama.

" Ye ke? Okay... surprise me then.... "


This morning - I woke up to the chirpy & melodic greetings of "Happy Mother's Day, Ibu!" from Hafiz, followed by "Here's your 'Breakfast In Bed' ....."

The menu?
Maggi Hot Cup chicken flavour
Jelly beans in a lovely apple shape candy container

Courtesy of Hafiz & Ameer ........ cute kan? So sweet.....

Thank you, my lil darlings. You are my world too!


Thursday, April 30, 2009


Bibi dah lama "return" to work daaaaaaa......

Kalau tak, harus I fly all the way to her kampung to extradite her.

She was on "vacation" for two long months, which allowed me to fully embrace the meaning of "penantian itu satu penyiksaan". LOL!!!!

I'm useless around the house without her - that's for sure. I can only layan the kids, feed the cats, set up pretty colour coordinated table setting and the likes..... oh yes, I can do the refilling of bath & shower gel & replenishment of tooth paste & shampoo too. hehehehe.... but really, that's about all.

I tend to write long typically when I'm officially on leave from work or on weekends.

All other snippets here & there are some stolen moments on working nights, if I manage to wrestle some time away from the kids.

Like this one ....

So KC, sadly for me, you can lower down that tabik spring vono now :(

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Let the lessons begin ....

It's never quite easy agreeing on how to deliver a mutually agreed objective with Ayah. We often get into debates, which is my favourite! But with Ayah as the sparring partner, the debates are pretty 'calm' and 'silent' (remember Paula Abdul's song "Opposite Attracts"?).

"It's RMxxx per month per head."
"Ohhhh.. too expensive........"
(followed by silence.....)

"Ha... there's a cheaper one at Perangsang Templer Park!"
"Aisey.... too far lah....."
(followed by silence .....)

"4pm weekends?"
"Clash with Abang Idin's visiting hours, don't u think?"
(followed by silence ....)

"How about week nights?"
"Hmmm.... tak sempat kot? Clash with Kumon. Unless you can come home earlier on those week nights?"
(followed by silence....)

"So shouldn't he start now?"
"If he howls 'NAK IBUUUUUUUU' in the classes, how?"
(followed by silence.....)

And this calm & silent debates went on and on for weeks, I think months now. But deyyyy thamby.... silent & calm camana pon, perempuan mana yg buleh tahan with such prolonged non commitment? Bukannya nak suruh kawen lagi satu pon! (Now that's a bad comparison! I don't think men would defer deciding to spring into action with such offer from their wives if that really happens! hissh.... simpang, simpang!)

What are these bigger than world matters to decide at hand? To commit pronto?

Hehehe... Just swimming lessons for Hafiz & Ameer, and Tae Kwan Do lessons for Ameer.

See.... bukan ler apa sangat kan? But waiting for my supposedly better half to decide and commit, MAK OIIIIIII!!!! Mengalahkan menunggu keputusan cabinet & jemaah menteri to decide on minimum wage in Malaysia.

So I decided to just take the plunge!

And yesterday, while Ayah was away attending an office function (corporate social responsibility) at Tasik Perdana, the Home Minister at Emerald Rawang proceeded to sign on the dotted line to :

1. Enroll the boys in the much deferred swimming lessons under the supervision of Coach Danny at Duta Palms club in Bandar Country Homes (which is only 3 traffic lights away from Emerald) in the morning, and

2. Enroll Ameer to join Hafiz in Tae Kwan Do lessons with the same Master Prabha at Green Park Rawang (which is also only 3 traffic lights and 1 roundabout away from Emerald) in the afternoon.

Given time & distance equal money too .... I concluded that, hehh, seposen dua posen differences in fees, takde makna nyer kalau berpeluh2 kena drive sana sini!

Yeah... of course this Ibu had to go through those cringe moments with Ameer grabbing & clinging tightly to my legs before entering the pool, forcing me to move inch by inch bow-leggedly to get him near the pool edge. Thank goodness, the coach was very good indeed - living up to his reputation as silver & bronze medallists coach. (Gold? not yet... tunggu my boys kot? Who knows....) Just as I got near the edge, he grabbed Ameer and carried him piggy back style to the middle of the pool. It was just the wading pool to start with, but which was still quite deep for the already freaked-out Ameer. In my heart I was like - Oh My God!!! Habih la anak aku!!!! I walked away quickly to the other side of the pool, took my seat in the shades and pretended to read (yeah... with the book covering my face! Hide away la konon... hahaha). And surprise! surprise! It worked out just fine. When I lowered down the book a few minutes later, I saw Ameer already had his goggles on and hanging on (to his life!!!) to the pool's edge by himself. Shortly after, they were already into the holding of breath under water and the water kicking drills.

Phewwww........ so it was a case of 'forced trust' professionally crafted. In a crisis moment like that (being in the middle of the pool where his feet could not touch the base), Ameer had just got to trust the sole adult within his reach, i.e. Coach Danny and hang on to him for his dear life - instead of hoping for his Ibu (who was gone from his sight in seconds) to save him. Coach Danny pesan; there is a technique to do it, ok? Don't simply pandai-pandai try on other people.... ekekeke.....

Hafiz, on the other hand, hmmphhh... macam itik jumpa air!!!

I continued ducking my head behind the book, forcing my over-rated motherly concern to be taken over by the gripping tale of the female suffering and endurance under the Taliban's rule penned by Khaled Hosseini.

At about 5 past 11, I heard the two boys singing the familiar tune, THANK YOU COACH DANNY! Hahhh...alas.... I pun dah berpeluh2 masa tu. The boys smiled towards me. Ameer put up his right hand up in the sky, ready to give me a high 5 from afar.

I texted Ayah to update him on the accomplishment.

Later in the afternoon, while Ayah was still away attending his corporate social responsibility office function ( hey... berapa lama daaaaa????? ), I dropped off the boys at Teacher Rameni's house to car pool with her children to the Tae Kwan Do class pulak.

Again Ameer was very hesitant in the beginning. But I just had to remind him that he needed to start learning self defense early, else who will protect 'Anis'? Wohooooo!!!! That line worked wonders I tell ya (hehehe, sorry Abid .... ). Talk about 'motivation'! This guy is really fond of Anis, a daughter of one of my MT clan, Abid. So anything for Anis. Plus, since Hafiz (and Abang Idin too, before this) was already in the class, at least Ameer was not as apprehensive towards Tae Kwan Do as he was towards swimming. But I bet my broken finger nails that it was the mere mentioning of protecting Anis being the key differentiating factor in this case. My maternal instinct says so.

Abang Idin also had a Tae Kwan Do meet of some sort at Stadium Cheras. A tourney amongst the light/feather weight he said. Ada ke? Ntah ler.... So we would not be visiting him at the hostel in the afternoon.

With visiting session cancelled and with the two boys out of the house on Saturday afternoon, I thought it was a good time to catch up on my reading. On the sofa, in front of the TV. Air cond switched on. A plate of goreng pisang (tapau from a stall outside the club) and a mug of teh tarik by the side (courtesy of bibik on weekends). The same 'A Thousand Splendid Sun' by Khaled Hosseini at hand. Wahhhh.... what a bliss!!! As you can guess ..... I dozed off to sleep in no time at all. HAHAHAHA ....

Ayah woke me up - tak sedar pun what time. Asked the boys whereabout. And I told him lepas swimming, lunch, lepak sat, then pi Tae Kwan Do pulak. The look of a pleasant surprise on his face was pretty obvious. Shortly after, he also joined me lounging in front of the TV - both dozing off to our Saturday afternoon slumber.

At about half past six, we were waken up by shrills of laughter, sweaty smells and a marathon of commentaries on how to do this kick and that punch by the two boys. Hafiz told us he had to spar with a girl and so had to let her win. Ameer was huffing & puffing at the same time, showing off his newly acquired skills.

At that moment, I knew, the lessons have begun .....


p/s Ayah... I've asked the swimming coach to text me his account number. That should spare you the hassle, as you can simply Mayban2him jer in the future .... ekekeke.... so you think you can run scott free that easily?

Friday, April 24, 2009

Progress of my LIL one

In Hollywood last night, Lil was voted out of American Idol Season 8. That was the end of Lil.

In Rawang though, or rather in the comfy sack inside my tummy, my very own lil' one is progressing well, Alhamdulillah. Thank you for all the well wishes, I'm touched and grateful for the doas extended.

Went for my follow up check up at APSH yesterday on my own, joined by Ayah there. I came clean with Dr Ashar that I couldn't stand being house arrested, hence I started work 2 weeks earlier (than the 4 weeks medical leave given!). He smiled and calmly replied, "It's quite hard to stay put when you are so used to being active at work, isn't it?" Hehehe... Ayah just smiled and added, "there's another update". And so I also had to come clean with Dr Ashar re the slip & fall too. I told him I rest for a few days after the fall but started work again early this week. Since there was no bleeding or major abdominal pain, he seemed fully forgiving. After all, I fell while doing my normal morning routine for Subuh prayer, so he really couldn't scold me, even if he wanted to. Hehehe.....

So first things first, let me come clean altogether. I am 40 and I have 3 boys. And yeah, I am expecting. About 16 weeks now.

Sometimes at dinner table, I wring my hands at the skies and wonder how I came to be the hub of this noisy, chaotic house. Some days as evening falls, I just have to get away to take a break from the responsibility, from the cacophony, and labor, and pretend to have fallen fast asleep under the duvet where no one can no longer expect one iota of energy from me.

I repeat, I am 40, I have 3 boys, and am 16 weeks pregnant now. I have quite a demanding job in a multi national chain of "kedai runcit".

Some of my colleagues said either I am very courageous, or I am out of my mind!

Either way, it's still a mission, shared by Ayah & Ibu.

I already have 3 boys - that I've said. All from the same Ayah (chuckle!!! though one of my buddies thought Ameer looked like my former 'boyfriend'...ceh!!! tak patut betul!! he didn't even fall into my definition of 'boyfriend' in the first place, okay? And for goodness sake, anak ke tiga muka cam ex-boyfriend, apa hal? HAHAHA....)

So is this my 4th pregnancy then?

No. It's not. I've had a few miscarriages in the past. At least 2 in between Abang Idin & Hafiz, including one at 4.5 months; it was a girl :(.

And then another 2 miscarriages after Ameer - both within the last 12-15 months. I blogged about one of it (the first one) but kept silent on the 2nd unfortunate incident. I felt it was too private & personal to share then. I don't mind sharing now, the 2nd miscarriage was actually a twin (we have 'twins genes' in both Ayah's & Ibu's side, so not a major surprise).

So put up your fingers now and count. Kalau 'tak', I would have 8 children! WOW !!!! Meriahnya!!

We've mutually agreed on having 4. Ayah actually wanted more. Not realistic at all from my perspective. So 4 is a compromised number. We would have exceeded set expectation with the twins, but was not meant to be, for only Allah knows why. If Allah grants us more after this, we'll still accept it as part of the rezqi bestowed upon us.

For what have happened, I can only thank Allah for still giving me the opportunities to conceive & carry them even just a quarter way. I know some close friends who still have not successfully conceived despite assisted with medical advances & technology interventions.

In my case, as proven thus far, I could conceive. For all my pregnancies thus far, I did not experience the so-called "morning sickness". However, I suffered from a condition called "incompetent cervix" (I've linked the term to a relevant site to save your time from googling). This was first detected, unfortunately, a bit too late, upon my 1st known miscarriage at abt 4.5 mths. I was told then that I had (still have!) a reverse shaped uterus, hence the incompetent cervix. Since then, I was advised that in order to sustain my future pregnancies, I might have to go through this procedure called cervical serclage, which is simply translated as sewing up the cervix with stitches, to be removed later closer to delivery date. So in the case of Hafiz & Ameer, 'their' pregnancies were assisted with serclages, both done by Dr Jem.

Why the other two-three miscarriages, you may ask? The challenge with serclage is that it is advisable to be done only after 12 weeks - just in case there are problems arising during this period, the pregnancy can be abandoned or the threatened abortions can happen naturally.

That was the case with me with the other miscarriages, including the twins. All at about 8 weeks, I started spotting & bleeding, hence tak sempat nak buat serclage pun.

I don't want to dwell about the costs, but suffice to say, that the treatment for the miscarriages (the D&C) and the prevention of it (the serclage) each cost almost the same if not slightly more than the cost of normal delivery.

Do I sound like I'm regretting it?

Not at all. Sometimes terkilan, undoubtedly - you know, the longing to hold & cuddle the lil ones..... But all the times eventually, I was and am rest assured that Allah knows best. Never mind the frustration, the emotions, the medical leaves, the costs and all; the unseen benefit obviously, as many have told, outweighs the sufferings.... the lil ones would wait & help me while crossing siratalmustakim (InsyaAllah!).

So far, I have no problem explaining my pregnancy to my 3 boys. In fact they have all long thought that I was pregnant (obviously because of the kebuncitan of my middle earth!!!). We appreciate each others companies most of the time. All 5 of us. We talk, shout, laugh, giggle & whisper as we wish. We celebrate birthdays. We hide each others favourite pillows. We make monkey faces to each other. We rub or scratch each others backs at bedtime. We fight over who gets the next McD Happy Meal toy. We challenge who will first finish the chore or homework. Sometimes, we munch snacks or dinner in front of the TV - much to the chagrin of Bibi. We are our own life simple pleasures. And I reckon, welcoming another extension to our family, the new lil one, won't be an issue with any one of us at all.

Now that I'm approaching the end of my 1st trimester with the current lil one, and that the serclarge had been successfully done - this time by Dr Ashar (the reason why I had to stay in hospital not so long ago), I truly hope and I continue to pray everyday that I will have a safe & sound pregnancy this time and the lil one will have a healthy development & growth within me. And I will continue to pray that Allah will bestow the lil one with taqwa & iman, to be successful both di dunia & akhirat.

For someone whose work amongst others include upholding personal privacy & confidentiality, it feels weird initially writing away on this subject which I consider quite personal & private. But while writing it away I may, the writing sure still sound more like relating of random facts rather than sharing of feelings.

But I guess that's me. More of a rational thinker than a feeler.

And the more I think about it, the more I eventually come to accept the rationale for this sharing - isn't it what this blog is for? In case I suffer memory lapse or senility in my much older days in the future, at least this story will prevail - as part of my Cerita Ibu, untuk anak2 ibu yg tersayang.

Spare a prayer that this mission of Ayah & Ibu will be one mission made possible this time around.


Thursday, April 16, 2009

Slippery when wet

I slipped n fell in the shower this morning when I wanted to take wudhu' for Subuh prayer..... bummer!!! Not good at all for my current condition. Kepala pun dah benjol sikit.

So back to rest in bed today.....

Pls spare a prayer for the safety of the lil' one.

Help me God!!! Ya mubdi....

Thursday, April 09, 2009

Buku 555: Tags oh tags!!

I have a long list of hutang tags in my buku 555. Luckily they don't accumulate interest. For those who tagged me, pls do accept my apology. Not that I didn't want to answer them earlier, but sometimes I really don't know the answers, hence the deferment. Percayalah.... (chuckle!chuckle!!)

Orang kata, sikit2 lama jadi bukit. So let's take this settling of hutang one tag at a time.

The first one I'll try to answer is the one on ALL ABOUT YOUR HUSBAND, tagged by WanShana, March 30, 2009.

Why this one? It is not randomly selected you know. Here's why.....

In my previous entry re Abang Idin turned 13, I said "Since then (i.e. since Michelle withdrew from the Kindy), dia (i.e. Abang Idin) jadi pemalu sangat dengan perempuan sebenarnya. Saling tak tumpah macam Ayah (i.e. my hubby) dia zaman dolu-dolu. "

And one of Ayah's college buddies whose blog nickname is also AYAH has got to comment :

" Hehehehehehehehehe! "

Wahhhh.... sikit punya panjang tu dia punya mengilai! Which got me thinking, eh? tak betul kah my statement tu? I thought that was what I learned about Ayah (my hubby la kan?). Unless, as buddies, he (the blogger Ayah) knows something else? hmmm...musykil dah ibu sekarang ni. Which means, there is something hidden about ayah's personality & traits that I have not discovered?

This prompted me, eh... what else do or don't I know about my husband?

Hence, let me try to answer the tag. Ayah, Shana, Mr Engineer and everyone else, if you know a different answer to the questions, pls share hokeh?

Here goes:

1) He’s sitting in front of the TV, what is on the screen?

If he's watching alone: most probably HEROES, LOST or sitcoms or anything on discovery channel.

If the children are watching with him: Tom & Jerry, Ben10, Naruto, Pink Panther. LOL!!!!

IF ibu is watching with him: American Idol or CSI

2) You’re out to eat; what kind of dressing does he get on his salad?

1000 Island and Chili Sauce (Lingham).

Tapi he hardly chooses dishes that come with salad segala.....

3) What’s one food he doesn’t like?

Cake (he said).

p/s Baguss.... save duit sikit this coming November.

4) You go out to eat and have a drink. What does he order?

Food ~ Kuey Teow Goreng, preferably with seafood. With extra order: telur mata satu kasi taruh atas!!!

Drinks ~ Ice lemon tea

5) Where did he go to high school?

Sekolah tembak-menembak

6) What size shoes does he wear?

Rasa-rasanya 7 or 8.

7) If he was to collect anything, what would it be?

Any IT gadgets & peripherals. Dah berkotak2 dah ni....

8) What is his favorite type of sandwich?

Hmmmm.... I don't think he particularly likes sandwhich. Kuey Teow Goreng satu pls!

9) What would this person eat every day if he could?

Kuey Teow Goreng?!! Isn't it obvious by now?

10) What is his favorite cereal?

Errr.... you don't get it do you? Where got people eat keow teow with cereal one??!!!

11) What would he never wear?

A bra? ahahaha....

12) What is his favorite sports team?

Elek.... he's not into sports.

13) Who did he vote for?

Eh! Bukan ke undi itu rahsia?

Tapi kalau American Idol, maybe Danny Gokey.

Last time, Msian Idol, he expected Jacklyn Victor to win.

But he would never waste his money on this kind of voting.

14) Who is his best friend?

I don't know, seriously. Could it be me? I don't think so. I would expect him to say, I am more than a friend. Muahahaha.....

15. What is something you do that he wishes you wouldn’t do?

Picking my nose in front of him. Ahahaha...

16. What is his heritage?

Minang from his arwah father.

Chinese from his mother.

17. What is his favourite colour?

White & blue.

18. What is his habit?

Good one: Tidak melengah2 kan solat

Bad one: Asyik buat2 terlupa ajer kalau dia hutang Ibu!!! Tak aci lah weehh...

19. What is he proud of?

I'm not sure. I have to find out. He's very modest about a lot of things.

20. Lastly, do you think he will read this?

Yes he will, because I will make him do. Ahahaha....

SO .... that's all I know (a few I don't know) about my husband, based on the questions given above. Phewww.... sib baik tak tanya, berapa ramai ex-gf dia ada atau soalan2 yg sewaktu dengannya. Sbb I wouldn't know for sure.

Jelingan manja la konon...
(pic taken in a backstreet alley somewhere in Istanbul 2007)

Shana, one down. Many-many more to go....


Tuesday, April 07, 2009

No longer a boy but not yet a man

Abang Idin turns 13 today, 7th April 2009.

I thought of scanning some favourite photos from childbirth right up till Std 6 Graduation and upload them here - but then realised too late that the photo albums are still nicely packed in 2 boxes and stored in our 'old' house. So niat tak kesampaian.

Abang Idin was small at birth, only 2.48kg. I carried him to full term with very little hassle (no morning sickness whatsoever). Just one push and out he ventured into this world. He is still small size todate. Reminds me of my own dwarf days - no difference. I only shot up drastically after puberty. So there is hope for Abang Idin to grow into a tall, tanned & handsome boy one fine day.

But size does not matter. I would like to think that he fits well into the description of "kecik2 cili padi".

He WAS short tempered, to say the least. Kecik2 dulu, cepat sangat naik hangin. Kalau marah, he would shout until urat leher semua keluar. The tremors could be felt by the whole Taman Hijau then. We used to call him Mat Kilau Junior. (Note: Kalau ada junior, mesti ada senior kan? And Mat Kilau was not a female - so guess who handed down this trait? LOL!!!)

He's an early bloomer in puppy love though. He first fell in love with Ariel the Little Mermaid (the Disney cartoon character) when he was barely 3. I might have blogged about this before. He was watching Disney House when suddenly he shrieked out to ask me, "IBUUUUUU...kenapa 'kote' Idin rasa macam sakit bila tengok Ariel the Little Mermaid ni?". I panicked. Bagai nak rak punya panick. Didn't know how to answer or react. Ayah was away, posted to Jeddah that time. Later that night when I called Ayah, all he answered was, "THAT's MY BOY!!!!". Pulak ....

When he was 5, after starting Kindy at Tadika Sinaran Bayu, he had his heart for a chinese classmate. I didn't know until one Sunday when we had our regular nasi lemak brunch by our fish pond just outside the dining hall. He picked up a wild flower and gave it to me. I was so thrilled, eh... kecik2 lagi dah romantic jugak anak aku nih? He asked me to put it in my hair (selit celah telinga) which I did happily for him. Then he said, dreamily, with glow in his eyes, that I looked so sweet with the flower in my hair, just like 'Michelle'. Huh??!!! It was a short lived infatuation though. One day Michelle accidentally fell into the small gutter while playing during recess and her mother withdrew her from the Kindy. Abang Idin didn't quite find any one else to replace Michelle thereafter. When I asked, he innocently answered, "Yang lain semua gelap-gelap, tak cute macam Michelle!" GULP!!!

Since then, dia jadi pemalu sangat dengan perempuan sebenarnya. Saling tak tumpah macam Ayah dia zaman dolu-dolu.

He's also considerably matured in thinking for his age progressively. When he was 6, he approached his Pak Long who had just bought a new car and asked his Pak Long left, right & centre about not just how much the car cost, but whether that car was brand new or second hand, purchased direct from car dealer or owner, whether he purchased it cash or credit, how much the loan interest was, whether the car was insured and for how much, with which insurance company, how often the car needed servicing, did it come with AAA membership or not, if not who would tow the car away if it broke down along the highway, yadayadayya.... Suffice to say, Pak Long was dumbfounded and turned to us, "Korang bagi makan apa budak ni?". hahahaha....

He was once voted Best Story Teller at Kindy - don't know what he klentong his teacher & classmates la kan?

His primary school days were not short of typical childhood mischievousness and boyish pranks. Never got into any serious or succumbed to being bullied despite his small size. Why? Cerdik! He always have much bigger and taller friends as his 'body guards'.

His maturity in thinking persevered through the observation of others. In my last conversation with his tuition teacher just before PMR, Mr Shan said he had never met a 12 year old quite like Abang Idin before. When they have issues for discussions (as part of the reading & comprehension exercise), Abang Idin would come up with all sorts of reasoning, theories, hypotheses, comparisons and serious probing questions which often caught him off guard, unprepared. Oh well.. other than cartoon & sports, he likes watching the national geography and discovery channel, and he reads a lot from boys adventure stories, to sports almanacs and also history of the world, the planet, the universe and even the secrets of Pharaohs and Tutankhamen. So that sums it all I guess.

A die hard Man Utd fan, who still perhaps deep down wishes he can be a pro footballer one day. Actually Abang Idin, if you can't join them, you just buy/invest in the club in the future ok?


12 years gone by in a blink of an eye.

Typically, we would have one or two months or at least a few weeks of anticipation in preparation for his birthday - what presents to give him, what kind of birthday cake he would like, should it be home made birthday cards or off the rack options, etc, etc. Every year we would crack our head; do we want to hold a party at home/elsewhere OR just send the cake to his school OR both? Almost every year, we ended up doing both. We would buy a cake & pack some snacks & drinks into little packages - like party packs minus the toys - to be sent to his school so that he could celebrate with his classmates. Then we would hold a "party" - most of the time just amongst us either at home or some eateries somewhere, sometimes with extended families (nenek, atuk, mak long, pak long segala... cum doa selamat), sometimes with our regular gettogether friends & their families (cuma baca doa sebelum makan...Allahuma baariqlana.....ehehe). And oh yes... these parties ... may not necessarily be held on his birthdate spot on. It's Msia, we do have inclement weathers kan?

This year, it is his first bday away from home.

I'm feeling blue. Can't hug, smooch & tickle him when the clock struck 12 as we usually did in the past.

My first born celebrating his birthday on his own, hopefully with his classmates or dormmates.

Alahai...sedih la pulak ibu sorang ni.

Nevertheless, we still bought him a cake, choc cappucino - his favourite. 3 birthday cards (off the rack) - one from Hafiz & Ameer. One from Ibu. One from Ayah. And a cute package with teddy bear print & little ribbon with mini birthday gifts inside - a mini wooden yellow pet cat from Ameer, a mini sunflower magnetized photoframe from Hafiz and a keychain with a mini black 'Converse' shoe from Ibu (it was printed as 'Conserve' though...hahaha). Dropped all these off at his school's guard house at about 6pm together with some snacks & drinks (not in little packages this time). Pandai2 la dia share ramai2 with his friends.

He called me right after Maghrib and thanked me happily. He sounded quite excited. I told him the yellow pet cat was from Ameer when he almost shouted, nanti-nanti....don't tell, he hadn't open the gift pack yet! Lerrrr.... anti climax betul la Ibu ni.

Ayah bought his gift during Abang Idin's outing on Sunday - a YONEX badminton racket - and Abang Idin brought it back to hostel same day, grinning from ear to ear. So the 'real' birthday gift is due only from Ibu now. He had hinted his boots were tight already. Hmm.... tunggu ek?

Meanwhile, I hope he would enjoy the cake, snacks & drinks with his friends tonite. And treasure the mini gifts from us. Mini they may be, but symbolic of our warm thoughts, well wishes and unconditional love for him.

By the way, Hafiz wrote on the birthday card, "Yo Bro! Have you found a new awek at SEPINTAR yet? Her name is.....?". LOL!!! Hafiz, hafiz..... he even said out loud his wish for Abang Idin when we signed the bday cards, "I wish Abang Idin will be FREED from Asrama!!!!" . Despite the sibling rivalry, he must be missing his not-so-big brother.

So there you go Abang Idin. We all miss you. Actually not just on your birthday, but everyday too.

May you find lots of success, happiness & healthy living for the years to come. Ibu doakan Abang Idin sentiasa dipelihara dalam keimanan supaya selamat dunia & akhirat. Many happy returns.

My 13 year old Abang Idin - no longer a boy, not yet a man.

Thursday, April 02, 2009

Ambition vs Fantasy

I received a call from Ameer's kindy Teacher today, just some updates on this & that.

BUT ...... ( there's always a but somewhere, or else why would I want to blog about it?)

She lodged her concern about Ameer's response on "what do you want to be when you grow up". Curiously enough, I asked, what was Ameer's response that she was so concern about? In my heart, nothing psychotic I hope!

Apparently, Ameer told her, he wanted to be a NINJA !!!! Oh la la.

I laughed & laughed my hearts out, leaving no airtime in between for her to continue because honestly, I thought it was so damn funny. I just couldn't help it and so indulge myself in laughing out loud (alone) for quite a while. I thought that was such a brave enough an attempt by Ameer and an honest one at it too. How many kids would actually be open enough to share their personal vision such as that. At most, it would be the well rehearsed answers as practiced at home - I want to be a teacher, police, ustazah, lawyer, accountant, doctor, architect, etc. Rarely ever - celebrity chef, hairstylist, pro footballer or Akademi Fantasia winner. And a Ninja from Rawang? Wow! That must be the first for the Teacher.

The feeling obviously was not mutual - at all! The Teacher said, even after showing pictures of various occupations to the class and what these people do, yet when she asked Ameer again, Ameer still asked how come there's no photo of a Ninja.

Suffice to say, Teacher was not happy. Teacher was concerned. Teacher was afraid that Ameer could not differentiate between reality & fantasy. Teacher wanted me (this Ibu)to help Ameer to have a better grasp of what's real and what's not.

Oh oh.... I'm in trouble. Not about Ameer's ambition. But in dealing with the expectation of the Teacher.

Hello..... Ameer just turned 5 last November. Technically therefore, he's only 5 years & 4 months young OK?. I see nothing seriously flawed with him sharing that kind of 'personal vision'. Having 3 boys of my own and several nephews & nieces of various ages, I've indeed heard of many others too that are quite not so ordinary, namely rock star, hairstylist, makeup artist, antique cars collector, professional footballer, professional boxer, F1 driver, CSI, pest controller, locksmith, Jimmy Neutron, President, Hannah Montana and Ariel (the little mermaid) to name a few. So shall I just say... heh... this types of childhood ambitions kind of 'run in the family'? hahahah..... I think that will scare the Teacher even more.

Or is it quite obvious that I am not as kiasu as some other parents ke? That's besides the point.

Seriously, I think what should interest the Teacher more was to explore & find out WHY my little Ameer wants to become a NINJA and what about NINJA that excites or inspires him? The standard questions of 4 Wives, 1 Waitress & 1 husband (Who, What, Where, When, Why and How) would have done the trick, I think. KAN?

When Ameer got home from school and I asked him about the NINJA episode, of course his immediate response was to DENY. "Eh! No! Ameer dah tukar balik macam last week - Ameer nak jadi Doktor lah, tak nak jadi Ninja. Sebab Teacher kata, in gheal world, mana ada NINJA".

Sad... there is NINJA in the real world la Teacher! May be in our culture not something that we want to lure our children into BUT the fact remains, NINJAs do exist okay Teacher? Because the under world is part of the real world. But that would be too complicated to explain to Ameer right? Or you seriously don't think NINJA exist in the real world? Sigh.....

So Q & A between Ameer & Ibu ensued:

Ibu: Why do you think becoming a NINJA is exciting, Ameer?

Ameer: Because NINJA helps fight off evil people and dia protect the not so strong people tau Ibu.

Ibu: Oh.... ye ker? Macam mana dia protect other people tu?

Ameer: NINJA tu kan Ibu, dia kena practice ghajin-ghajin sampai dia kuat tau, then dia can protect other people la. And he must eat well, macam Naruto tu.

(I have no idea what Naruto eats okay?)

Ibu: Ye ker? Kenapa NINJA kena protect other people tu?

Ameer: Ibu tak tau ker? Kan ada ghamai oghang jahat kat luar. Evil. Macam kena bully ker.... So NINJA akan rescue la oghang yang kena kacau tu.

(So who says cartoon is all that bad?)

Ibu: Ohhhhh.....

Ameer: Ha! Ibu dah faham?


Ibu: Ah... yes! So, Ameer nak jadi NINJA, sebab Ameer nak protect orang baik dari orang jahat eh?

Ameer: Ya. Tapi kalau nak jadi NINJA, kena practice rajin-rajin dulu (sambil buka langkah ala-ala martial arts macam dalam Naruto tu) baru la kuat. Lepas tu baru la boleh protect orang lain.

Ibu: Ah... betul....

Ameer: Tapi sekarang Ameer dah tukar la Ibu. Cikgu kata takde sekolah ajar jadi NINJA. So now Ameer nak jadi Doktor. Macam last week yang Ameer ada cakap kat Ibu tu. Tukar jadi Doktor balik lah.

And he hurried off upstairs to change his school uniform. Quickly did his homework without being asked. So that he can have uninterrupted time to watch his latest favourite cartoon, the Tom & Jerry show. That's Ameer for you. Business first, leisure ensues. Straight A's in his monthly tests thus far, except for lukisan.

Yes... Ameer's short lived ambition involves fantasy, no doubt. But based on noble hopes & desires, isn't it? The one thing that the Teacher could have done then, had she enquired that bit further, was to help translate & guide my child to similar "peace keeping" & "protect others" kind of occupations which are more common and real (to her) than NINJA. Polis ke, askar ke, FRU ke, lawyer ke, martial arts instructor ke, Menteri Pertahanan ke, NGO activist ke, UN Envoy peace keeper ke .... whatever la... whatever "REAL" to her la kan? That would still be a better attempt than simply pouring cold water to such a noble heart desire from an innocent child.

I grew up at an era when most parents & teachers similarly expected their kids to choose the standard occupation. Careers in arts, culinary, music, literature, professional sports for example, were not only unheard of, but almost a taboo especially if they are considered "ishhh.... tak boleh, kita orang Malaysia/Melayu/Islam" or simply if it's "non-money makers".

Somehow, as a child and up till form 5, I managed to 'stray'. I always came up with the not so standard answer, from the very-very low on approval rating (perempuan joget, no kidding!) to the neutral ones (welfare officer, lawyer, lecturer, engineer - boring stuff?) and right up to the ironic ones (nuclear physicst, air stewardess - ironic because I'm not that great in maths at all for the former and bukan ler lawa, tinggi lampai & sopan santun bebeno for the latter.... hahaha). During the interview for scholarship (at age 17), I made the interviewers fell off their chair - laughing, as I told them I wanted to go to US simply because I wanted so much to go to Disneyland, nothing else. Interestingly enough, the interviewers said, I've got "personal vision", and they like.....

What I ended up as today? A career totally unheard of by my kindergarten teacher back then.

So adakah ini satu fenomena Bapak Borek, Anak Rintik? Or more appropriately, Ibu bintik-bintik, Anak polka dot?

Not quite.

I think the world today offers a lot more than the standard occupations - unimaginable years ago. And who knows what the future holds?

The challenge I offer to teachers out there; please.....


For without exploring further what's on their mind, you would hastily reach at a conclusion that is only based on half of the picture. The half that is in your mind and yours only. NOT in the mind of the person that you should be exploring further - the child, the student.

I don't mean to be overly protective - but I think a child deserves some extra time to be heard first, rather than simply to be told off.

To anak-anak Ibu, BE WHAT YOU WANT TO BE so long you are happy with your choices and do your best in your chosen field (subject always to 'di jalan yang benar, halal dan baik). Bertebaran lah dimuka bumiNYA, rezeki itu ada di mana-mana, InsyaALLAH... I will pray that you will be guided, be protected, be reminded and be successful always, dunia & akhirat.



To Abang Idin, if you indeed choose that route, I don't mind getting complimentary pass to sit with the Man U players in their designated bench. Seriously.

To Hafiz, if you are still undecided which car to spare one for me from amongst all those in your future collection - berbuih dah mulut ibu cakap, I will easily settle for the Volkswagen Van okay? The ori version. Nothing more expensive.

To Ameer, the options are plenty still. No worries my boy.

Wednesday, April 01, 2009


I'm supposed to 'rest in bed'.

(Hmmm.... Shana, if you are reading this, for me, that is such a tall order, okay?!)

By right, there's so many things that I can do with this loooooonnnnggg forgiven period of being away from office. Plenty of time to finish off story books while I put up my feet & rest, plenty of opportunities to craft quiz papers for Hafiz & Ameer, plenty of minutes for blogging & facebooking, plenty of hours for unnecessary rearranging the can-no-longer-fit blouses & dresses in my wardrobe. Yup! plenty of things to do. (Unfortunately, flicking thru recipe books & trying those recipes out SHALL not (yet) become one possibilities... sigh.... mana boleh diri lama2? akakaka...excuse, excuse, excuse....)

But by left (vs right? got it? aiya... never mind...), I choose to feel bored.

We all have to choose our attitude. And today ... I choose to feel bored.

Other than the ever-so-challenging Bahasa Arab Tahun 2 homework that I've been helplessly helping Hafiz to finish ( do u know 'mirwahaton' means kipas/fan, 'suraton' means gambar/photo & 'dulabon' means almari/cupboard? now you know.... ), nothing around the house inspires or excites me this very minute.

And the fact that I can't face the notebook too long - because sitting up right is not equivalent to the 'resting in bed' kind of posture therefore not good for my lower abdomen - render me even more helpless.

AHhh... let it be. Let me see how long I will last with this attitude that I want to choose today - feeling bored.

Shortly, Ameer should be back from Kindy. And I am very sure I have another daunting task at hand - to copy & draw a few more transformer robots ( mak oiii!! didn't realise there are so many of them!). At least, there's an opportunity for me to be given a double or triple star for my drawing that are considered so out of this world by Ameer. He even complimented me yesterday, U r so HEBAT Ibu! ( Ameer actually used the word HEBAT!!! Funny eh?! I did't ask if he knew the meaning. It's not often you get a compliment from a 6 year old these days. So it didn't matter whether he knew the meaning or not. hehehe.... )

So what do I know. My feeling bored attitude helps me fill another page of a boring entry. That's quite an achievement for someone who's feeling bored.

I soooo wanna grab that gingerbread cookies and dunk 'em in nescafe tarik. But at this hour? Hmmmm....


p/s Ayah... if you are reading this, beras dah (nak) habis, telur (memang) dah habis. Even if I want to find alternative food - cat food pun dah habis daaa.... and as I'm strictly to rest in bed, hehehe.... nampak gaya, balik nanti Abang kena singgah Tesco la ya?

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Al-Fatihah : Dr Haliza Shafie

I was almost dozing off to sleep out of boredom yesterday afternoon at the ward, when I was snapped out of it by the sheer mention of the name "Dr Haliza Shafie" over TV3 6-something news.

My heart sank. I managed to mumble, " Innalillah hi wa inna ilayhi rojiun ..."

It was only last Monday when Ayah & I passed by her clinic en route to the surau at APSH that I told Ayah we'd better call her nurse to check on Ameer's vaccination schedule. I was quite sure there must be one due for 6 year old. I felt like dropping by her clinic there & then but it was quite late and I didn't want to bother the nurse whom I supposed would already be tired by that hour of the day and would probably be ready to call it a day anytime.

Little that I knew that THAT was my own version of a hazy premonition of some sort. Of course, it might just be a coincidence. But I do get a lot of this kind of coincidences, and I sometimes wonder if I should work harder to sharpen my 6th sense.

The news left my jaw dropped for a long while - shocked, denial, sad - all emotions jumbled up at the same time. I called Ayah but no answer. I had no clue who else to call to share the gruesome news I just overheard from the tube.

When Ayah arrived with the two musketeers later that night, I shared with him the news. He was speechless. We accessed Star online and the news on the "Missing Doctors" was already uploaded.

This morning, when Dr Ashar came for his morning rounds, he asked if I've heard the news. I told him that she was our 3 children's Paed and he nodded in silence. As he removed the IV needle from my hand, he calmly confirmed the news about the discovery of the body and shared some insights into the initial search that had started a few days back in which he was also involved. I had to bite my lips to control my tears.

At this juncture, images of Dr Haliza - in her oh-so-familiar professional yet very calm, caring, feminine, motherly gentle voice & gesture, giving both Ayah & I the much needed advise and assurance that it's okay to learn about caring for babies & toddlers as we go along and not to be too scared about learning it from real life experience - kept flashing in and out of my mind uncontrollably.

Allahyarhammah Dr Haliza was first recommended to me by Dr Jem (my gynae, who's also Dr Ashar's wife) to be my first born Paediatrician way back in 1996 . I've not heard of Dr Haliza before, but how could I refuse a sound recommendation from Dr Jem? Since then, Dr Haliza has been all of our 3 boys' Paed, right from Abang Idin, then to Hafiz, then to Ameer.

She was the one who gave all our 3 boys their vaccinations & inoculation, the jabs, the tickles and also the stern warnings not to consume too much ice cream & lollies. She was the one who attended to Abang Idin when he had pneumonia when he was barely 4 months old. She was the one who attended to Hafiz with all the common baby illnesses as listed in Johnson & Johnson's baby book (from jaundice to cradle cap to pink eye to colic to diarrhea, you name it, Hafiz got it). She also talent spotted Ameer as 'one tough cookie' as he hardly ever cried each time she injected those needles into his cute little butt or arm - so unlike his two elder brothers who cried the whole Ulu Klang river.

I had no doubt before this that if I were fated to have another one, insyaAllah, it would surely still be her to summarise the Apgar scores, to hold and cuddle the little fingers, hands & butt of my newborn in the same loving and caring way that she had done for all my 3 boys.

But of course, we could only plan. We are all still subject to the Master Plan.

To the family of the late Dr Haliza Shafie, our sincere takziah and condolence. May Allah bless her soul. Semuga Allahyarhammah ditempatkan bersama orang-orang yang beriman dan beramal soleh, insyaAllah....



p/s To Dr Jem, if by a miracle of chance you do drop by this humble blog entry, I must thank you from the bottom of my heart (long overdue) for introducing Allahyarhammah Dr Haliza to our family. We shall miss her dearly....

Thursday, March 05, 2009

A quickie

I'm referring to this update ( what did you have in mind? aiyerrrrrr...... )

Some good news really.....

1. Abang Idin got accepted into boarding school, syukur alhamdulillah.

2. The 'tax man' had reconciled my account & sent another letter saying it is LHDN that owe me some money.... and actually ... they don't owe me anymore, because I received the check in the mail already yesterday .... yabedabedooooo.....
(p/s Abang, sorry darling ... I'm not giving up any sum for your car repair, okay?)

So ... nanti lah...senang2 I'll write more. Right now, busy maaaaa.....


Friday, February 13, 2009

Love Is In The Air

We've stopped celebrating Valentine's Day loooooonnnng ago.

But I hope Ayah will read this in time, because I don't mind getting a box of Ferraro Rocher tomorrow, really ..... hehehehe...... I'm sure the boys would enjoy them too.

AYAH!!!!! Bring 'em on Ayah..... you don't have to worry about my weight control regime because it has gone awry anyway! LOL!!!

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Home away from home

Abang Idin asked me not so long ago, "Are you trying to send me away?".

This question was in response to my never ending propaganda (who, what, where, when, why & how) to encourage him to go to boarding school for his secondary level education. Suffice to say, both Ayah & I are convinced boarding school is a good option, if given the opportunity.

My answer, or defense really, was quite simple & straight forward.

"I am not TRYING to send you away Abang. I AM SENDING YOU AWAY!!! "

Hahahaha.... how cruel.

Unfortunately, as expected, he has not been accepted in the first round of placement. My friends have already alerted me on some of the key criteria for first priority of selection. While he qualifies as from sekolah luar bandar ( RAWANG kan???!!!), somehow he falls just outside the category of "kurang mampu" from household income perspective. If only we can attach records of all the loans payable to the payslips as well. Aiya....

There was another way I was told. Alumni quota for parents for entrance into former schools subject to certain requirements. I swear I could easily fulfill all the criteria (being kaki menyebok from time to time in the alumni committees & various alumni activities). Unfortunately, I hailed from ALL-GIRLS boarding school. And sex-change is out of the question!

Ayah .... he was from sekolah tembak menembak yg berpagar duri tapi tidak berasrama. PULAK!!! So no alumni quota from Ayah's alma mater.

Another way, they say, is to appeal.

And so we wrote an appeal letter - addressed to a nearby school jer lah..... hehehe.... one new sekolah berasrama penuh kat Rawang ni hah.

He was indeed called for an interview. And he did go for the interview albeit like dalam keterpaksaan. Kesian anak ibu....

Results were supposed to be sent via post by end of January. As I am typing this, we haven't received it in the mail yet. And so the waiting game continues....

But before I pen off, let me share with you one of the interview questions and how Abang Idin said he answered it.

Cikgu asked: "Kalau awak kena buli, apa awak akan buat?"

(He's considered small size for his age, so I suppose the question reflected a valid concern)

Idin answered: "Saya buli dia balik!"

Cikgu: "Eh! Tak boleh.... kalau buli-buli, nanti kena buang sekolah!"


Idin's justification later to Ayah was: "Sapa suruh dia start buli dulu?!!"

I bet you the cikgu must have been shell-shocked with such gutsy answer coming from such a small size boy! I hope he noticed Idin's red belt taekwondo certificate and that response was supposed to be translated as "I will retaliate for self defense purpose only, cikgu" instead of "Saya tak takut dan boleh buli orang jugak cikgu!!"

Alahai.... what do you think? Will he get the placement?


p/s I have yet to pull any cable. Sebab tak de cable pun! hahaha. Anyone with strong enough cable to help me out?

p/s I do think Abang Idin's answer was honest & quite original though. Very unpretentious. Reminds me of my answer during the interview for scholarship last time, why do you want to go US and not UK? I said because I wanted so much to go to Disneyland! hehehe.... I got the scholarship. But that was yearsssss ago. Maybe creativity & innocence in responses was much more appreciated then. We'll just have to wait & see if history will repeat itself. If not repeating, pls see previous p/s above. LOL !!!!