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Friday, July 03, 2009

Officially Above 40

Yesterday I officially became 'above' 40. Yes - years of age.

Surprisingly, I didn't feel "depressed" being ushered into the carat club.

Is it all in the mind?

I reflect on the journey of my life thus far, and I feel blessed. I must admit that I might have gone through some mind talking in the past, questioning or rather imagining how my life could have turned up today if I had done this or done that differently .....

In the end, I came to the conclusions that everything happens for a reason. Sometimes we may be able to know the answers immediately, a lot of times we also have to accept that we may not be able know the answers or the rationale pronto and that only Allah knows best and hence, redha ....

I'm sure it would be more interesting for reading if I can substantiate or cite some examples of what I meant. But I know for a fact some of the examples may be controversial too, and may hurt the feelings of some people who I know or people whom I don't know, or hurt the feelings of my loved ones even. So yeah..... I'm playing it safe and not be an open book here.

Do I wish some things about me or about my life would change moving forward?

Sure I do!

And no... it does not involve me targetting to become a Datin Seri someday. Nenek Berseri maybe.... hahahaha......

But yeahhh.... sure I want some changes in my life moving forward.

I want to commit more to practice Islam as my Ad Din - way of life - rather than just complying to the basic tenets.

I want to spend more quality time with my family.

I want to love and to be loved more - for the right reasons.

I want to be able to guide & coach my children & my family more wisely, without necessarily imposing strict standards on the ultimate outcome solely based on short term worldly desires.

I still want to be able to enjoy myself though but with just life simple pleasures, nothing complicated, thank you.

I want to continue to be able to vision the larger picture, the light at the end of the tunnel; and be liberated by the choices that I make towards those visions; rather than be stuck in the box with the cynical toughts of me being the victim succumbing to other people's pressures without having a choice to make the changes for myself or my family.

In short, there's still quite a lot more that I want to achieve moving forward. Both for "here" as well as preparation for the "here after".

One thing for sure: I want to grow older wisely and gracefully. Accepting what has happened and what will happen is in the hand of the Almighty. Yet with me having the power and the choice to shape & steer how I think, feel and decide for things that matter.

So yeah.... I feel happy .... so happy birthday to me, indeed!!

p/s I do have a choice to make Ayah realise how hurtful it can be for a wife to have to keep wishing that her birthday present is forthcoming from her hubby without her having to poke, remind, urge, demand, threaten or twist his hubby's arm, don't I ? And yet I still do have the choice to just keep it bottled up in me too - with the same rationale, oh...it's the thought that counts, right? The choice would be mine I know. But what would you do?

12 comments:

wanshana said...

Hi Ibu,

I know I've wished you via FB and SMSes, but, I'm wishing you again here, my frind :)

Happy Birthday, and here's wishing you many, many, many happy returns of the day.

Semoga dipanjangkan umur, diberikan kesihatan yang baik to enjoy life and beramal ibadah, and of course to achieve all that you want to achieve, dan dimurahkan rezqi yang halal, insya Allah.

And most of all, I wish you love and happiness, my friend.

God bless :)

P/S : MUST poke Ayah berulang-kali, okay?! ;) No mercy punya poking, okay?!

Naz said...

Happy Birthday!
Masih muda ... and I hope you will reach all your targets stated in this entry.
Oh btw,...to me it is the thought that counts. What he forgets on one day is nothing compared to what he remembers the rest of the year. Keep cool and keep writing :)

the principal said...

My last birthday? I tulis 3 books yg I wanted so badly but not within my budget & tunjuk my husband, "bang, ni buku yg I nak for my birthday present". My father's magic words when I was a kid, "all you have to do is ask"

Anonymous said...

Salam belated besday Ibu,

Semoga tercapai segala dicita & diberkati & dirahmati Allah sentiasa.

P/s: regarding your besday present,
I'm thinking - just sent your Ayah a warrant, notarized of course! And let see what he'll makes out of it!! -rad-

Dad of 4+1 said...

Happy "above 40" Birthday....

Pi Bani said...

You're now above 40? How come I got stuck at 17? ;)

Happy Birthday!

cekmekzue said...

Salam Ija,
Happy Birthday...sweet 17. to me, you will always be 17, that cute little girl ....only now more mature, and wiser. After all, 40 is just a number.A friend once said to me on my birthday, and i like to quote it, "it's mind over matter, if you don't mind, it doesn't matter"May all your dreams and wishes come true and may life always be gentle to all of us...

ummi365 said...

Happy belated birthday dear.. oh we are in the same month but different dates. MIne was on 5th. so let's sing

Happy bday to us
Happy bday to us
Happy bday to ummi and ibu
happy bday to us...

hahahaha.. otak mereng sikit ni.. yalah like you said nak kena poke baru ada hadiah..

D.N.A.S said...

You're 40+ already? I'm still 25. Hihihi. As for the birthday present, I suggest you tampal a huge poster of the gift you want on the bathroom mirror. Bila dia nak shave pagi-pagi, mesti dia notice.
Kalau tak notice jugak, sila bulatkan the object with your lipstick.

Chahya said...

Happy Belated Bday Sis.

i love jijol. said...

salam ibu,

time's passes and i finally a mahasiswa.
hehehe, ibu apa khbar?
ingat lagi pada si pujangga wannabe?

*happy belated birthday=)

may the blessing of Allah S.W.T will always be with you. amin.

Yan said...

Happy super duper belated birthday!!! may all ur wonderful dreams come true!