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Wednesday, September 24, 2008

What matters most

My dear boys....

As far back as I can recall - zaman dolu-dolu, Ibu would never miss to get my baju raya. Those baju raya were 'new' to Ibu, but not necessarily brand new. Somehow, it didn't matter at all to Ibu whether they were brand new or not for Ibu knew Ibu Noi would carefully select among the best of her frocks/dresses/baju kurung that she had outgrown and reserve them for Ibu, specially for Hari Raya. Similary, Ibu Noi would get her share of the best reserved for her for Hari Raya by Mak Ngah. And it didn't matter to Ibu Noi either. I cannot recall where Mak Ngah got her baju raya from. It didn't seem to matter to Mak Ngah at all too.

There was one year when all of us girls got a pair of brand new baju kurung each for Hari Raya. What a treat! We found out years later that Nenek had bought a par of cloth, supposedly meant to be as a present for her sister-in-law to-be. She had offered to sew the curtains for the bridal room. Unfortunately, her sister-in-law to-be totally rejected the present and simply returned the whole par to Nenek - she said she didn't like the colour. So waste not want not - all 3 of us girls got a pair of brand new baju kurung for Hari Raya that year - same colour, same design, same material - all handmade by Nenek.

It didn't matter to us at all.

We saw them working hard day & night to raise us 6 siblings. What mattered to us girls then, was not to make Nenek & Atok worry too much over expenses of baju raya for their daughters. For we know there were other expenses that deserved higher priorities.

That - as far back as I can recall ......... zaman dolu-dolu.

And since 'zaman dolu-dolu', we've definitely come a long way, my boys. All because Nenek & Atok set the right priorities on what matters most for their growing up children then.

Matters that could not be sacrificed for immediate gratification.

Matters that could not be achieved without sacrifice.

Today?

I know Ibu Noi or Mak Ngah would buy at least a pair of 'baju' for Nenek & Atok every Hari Raya. And they would also ask Nenek not to worry about preparing Raya dishes as they would do that part and send one periuk or one kuali over to Nenek's house by eve of Raya.

Ibu? Even if we live next door to Nenek & Atok, you know Ibu can't offer to cook anything safe, healthy and edible for them. So Ibu would transfer some money to Nenek & Atok instead, for their discretionary disposal for some other expenses that may become a priority for Raya preparation.

This despite their assurance from the other end of the phone line that "There is nothing to worry about, my children. Just don't forget to balik kampung for Hari Raya, you hear? That's what matters most to us".

I know sooner or later, I may be echoing that very same line to you, my boys.


Salam,
Ibu

14 comments:

Pp said...

:-) beautiful!!
cerita dari 'dolu-dolu' memang menjadi inspirasi...

dgn izin, saya nak extend kan cerita ini kepada my boys jugak!

kerana penting la jugak, mereka 'hulur2kan' kedalam bank acccount ayah mereka bila ayah pencen nanti...ikutlah tauladan
dari 'ibu' di sini!

nice one buk! cerita lah lagi dari kesah dolu-dolu...

Waterlily said...

A touching entry Ibu, parents are like that arent they? "There's nothing to worry about" seems to be their fav words. But we know better..they miss us.

And Ibu, that last para makes me feel so ancient laar..we will become nenek too...(sooner or later).

U.Lee said...

Hi Ibu, I'm sure you look really sensational in your baju Raya.
Here's wishing you and family selamat hari raya adil fitri.
Best regards always, Lee.

wanshana said...

Ibu,

I still remember my Mom sewing baju rayas for us girls every year (same materials - boria like :)), and most of the times it was just 1 baju each for us.

It was always last minute, because we had to wait for my Dad to get his gaji first. My mom would only start sewing the bajus 1-2 days before raya, but we were never worried, and never pressured her because we knew, she WOULD sew the bajus, even if it meant that she would not sleep the whole malam raya to sew the bajus.

And malam raya would also mean, masak rendang and rebus ketupat, and bake the raya cookies. So, you can imagine how my Mom juggled her malam raya tasks...

Indeed, our Moms are just amazing!

tireless mom said...

Hi Ibu

Good piece. We inherit the traits from our parents and hopefully the good traits of us will be inherited by our children.

IBU said...

Pak Payne,

Cerita dolu-dolu memang banyak...kalau from my mom & grandma, pass down to us by words of mouth and some black & white pics. This time, via blogs & downloaded pics. How times have changed.... These are histories on the wall nonetheless.

A lot of times, if share stories with my boys, the would look at me with their puzzled "yeah right ibu.... " look. Some are quite hard to believe compared to what they are going thru these days. Just like it was quite hard to believe (at first) when my mom told us prior to zaman jepun they could buy nasi lemak bungkus complete half boiled egg, sambal ikan bilis for 1 sen?!!!

InsyaAllah, during Raya gatherings will gebang2 with my sisters & will kumpul some more cerita zaman dolu-dolu.

You keep well, salam to Kak Lil ya?

IBU said...

Waterlily,

Sometimes I really don't know how they ever managed to take care of all of us 6 siblings zaman dolu-dolu. And again, even when we've grown up, they were some hardtimes like 'alamak... nak beli kereta, nak down payment', and guess who would be the one offering interest free loan? Tak pernah pulak jumpa duit bawah bantal or dalam tempayan (err...sbb x de tempayan LOL!! ) but seriously... ada jer duit yg dikepil-kepilkan in case anak2 nak pakai....

Now dah ada anak, dah start terasa the reality of sacrificing short term gratification for longer term purpose. Kalau tak, kepingin saja hari2 beli Liz Claiborne, Coach, Furla, Tiffany, Jimmy Choo's, Bvlgary dan sebagai....

And heh... i dah lama rasa ancient. Sejak dah tak reti pakai remote controllers - rather assisted by my then 4 year old Ameer. Adusss.....

IBU said...

U Lee,

I used to look sensational in not just my baju raya, but whatever baju yg I menggaya kan.... but these days.... hmmmmphhh.... It would only be ayah looking twice at me. Even that it was to quiz me, "r u sure you are wearing that?". hahaha...

But i still feel young at heart though. LOL!!!

Thank you so much, U Lee!

IBU said...

Shana,

Oh yes.... if the brand new sewn ones, memang sah semua last minute kan. Maka bergegar lah satu rumah with the vibration of the SINGER sewing machine tu!

And the rebus ketupat & rendang, which would also be malam raya.

And the hanging of newly washed langsir & sarong kusyen (complete with chairbacks?!!) .... ALL MALAM RAYA hingga ke SUBUH RAYA.

Those were the days....

IBU said...

Tireless mom,

Hmmmm.... i dare not say I inheret the good traits from my mom ler. Hehehe.... cooking, cleaning, sewing, handling 6 children ... alamak, jauh panggang dari api!!!

But ya, the 'work hard' tu, maybe a bit, albeit a different kind of "membanting tulang" altogether. And definitely bab the "yelling" (like "SAPA SEPAH2 RUMAH NI, CAKAPPPPPP!!!!!")... heheheh!

Salamssss

Eta My said...

Ibu...sadisnya...sesama berdoa muga keturunan kita2 semua tak lupa..do not forget to remember to remember us..their parents....Ameen...and zaman dedolu...most of our mothers memang begitu sibuk menjelang raya..that'w why..kita2 rase semuanya nostalgic...

Selamat Hari raya...Selamat Balik Kampung..tata!

Anonymous said...

wahai ibu yg budiman;

huhuhu, budak2 skrg pandai pilih baju. apa yg kita suh pakai deme tak nak pakai, kata tak lawa lah, tak uptodate lah, tak miley cyrus punya stail la n pot pet pot pet. berbeza ngan tima kita kecik2 dulu - apa yg mak pak beli, pakai lebur je. janji ada baju raya baru. tambah mengharukan kalau baju tu mak kita yg jahit...aduhai syahdu sungguh!

KC

MrsNordin said...

Well said!

Raya dulu and sekarang is so different. Apasal sekarang orang dah tak kisah pasang langsir and sarung kusyen (because we don't use these anymore or because we ganti curtain as and when necessary? No need to wait for raya?)

I miss the good old days. Apa saja yang mak kita bagi/buat, terima saja. No complain. Bebudak sekarang, boleh pilih or state their preferences lagi! Pening...

IBU said...

Eta,

Keturunan I la ni, would raise an eyebrow if I tell them i want to sew the curtains. Pandai plak sambung, "jahit kat kedai ke Ibu?". Hmmm... besar besok boleh masuk parlimen budak2 ni. But I still make ketupat daun kelapa, which I hope they will remember :)

KC,

Miley cyrus...wah, wah... hmmm.. sama la dgn my boys ni, Ameer nak Ben 10. Abang Idin dah besar dah, nak Nike, QuickSilver & Billabong. Aiyerrr.. mahal lorrr...

Hafiz jer yg 'sopan santun' sket - tak per lah Ibu, beli yg murah2 jer, jgn membazir duit. huhuhu... tapi nampaknya tak bleh bawak Hafiz ikut ibu shopping baju raya ibu la, nanti dia turn around the table plak!

Mrs N,

Ha'ah kan!!??? Mana ada tukar sarung kusyen sekarang? Kena tukar sofa set terus. Kalau tukar every year, wahhh .. towkey kilang duit pun bangkrap. And my house ni banyak glasses/windows - so memang sah lah tak leh tukar langsir every raya. Kalau nak tukar every year, I kena jadi shareholder kedai langsir tu. ehehehe.....