Syurga

Dialogue between Hafiz & Ameer:

"Ameer.... Don't be so lazy OK! Dengar lah cakap Ibu! Jangan sepah-sepah toys!"

"Alah toys jer... tak pelah..."

"Ameer ni! Tak sayang Ibu ke? Nanti Ameer tak boleh masyuk syurga tau! "

"Kenapa tak boleh? Ameer bukan naughty. Ameer nak main toys jer...."

"Kalau Ameer sepah-sepah toys, Ibu terpijak, kaki Ibu sakit tau!"

"Nanti Ameer hug Ibu & cakap sorry lah! Nanti dapat masuk syurga kan?"

"Ishhh ....Ameer nih! Kalau kaki Ibu sakit, macam mana Ameer nak masyuk syurga! Syurga tu kan bawah tapak kaki Ibu!!!"

"Bawah kaki Ibu?"

"HAH!!! Tak tau ke?"

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:)

Getting old(er) ....

You know you are getting old(er) when....

1. After several failed attempts, you have no choice but to just wait for your 6 year old son to return from school to help you switch from Astro to DVD player - because you have no clue which remote to use for what and which button to press and what the difference is between AV and REAR .... and even if you get that far as to have the menu appear on the screen - you still don't know how on earth to unmute the box.

2. Your 8 year old boy, in his quest to earn some extra pocket money, opts for "cabut uban ibu" as the faster & easier way. RM2 in no time at all, at a rate of 10 sen per uban.

3. You have to borrow a piece of "koyok" from your mom to soothe your own back pain, and promise that you will definitely return one piece to her because you yourself will be buying one whole box very soon.

4. It's the Analene (milk) promoter rather than the Sunsilk shampoo salesperson that is more friendly to you on the supermarket floor.

5. Your insurance agent keeps suggesting that you choose the more 'balanced' product for your investment link portfolios and stay away from the high risk high dynamic options to mitigate the risk of emptying your retirement fund too fast too soon.

6. You go downstairs to the kitchen to fetch something but when you get there and open the kitchen cabinet, you have a hard time recalling what is it that you are looking for.

7. You place an order for teh tarik, and the waiter asks "nak kurang manis ke?"

8. You hum Kate Perry's "You're hot & you're cold" and your nieces look at you in awe and say, "wowww busu! you know that song? cool..."

9. The travel agent promotes and explains at length the "ease and comfort" value deal as compared to the light touch on "fun, thrill and exciting" package.

10. You fill up for the membership form for any retailer loyalty card and have to tick the second last box for age category.

Getting old(er) definitely.

Wise(r) too hopefully.....


Salam
Ibu

Mind talk

CAUTION: TIADA KAITAN DGN SESIAPA. CONTENT DITOKOK TAMBAH SELAGI BOLEH... hehehe.... garam gula ajinomoto secukup rasa. Just for reflections....

Counseling / listening session :

Ma'am - why is it that when I do right -he never remembers? ? Never recognises and never says thank you? Never ever! But when I do wrong...... he immediately spots it and highlights there and then. He never ever forgets to blame me right away? Why?

I don't know really... do you want to tell me more? Who is this person by the way? Your line manager? And what is this all about actually? Is this about work?

No Ma'am.... It's my husband. The transport lady could not pick up our son from school today. She called me this morning. So I am supposed to arrange for alternative. But I completely forgot. I was so busy today and had meetings back to back that I totally missed to call my husband to ask him to pick our son from school. He called just now, scolding me like mad because our son had to take a lift from someone and just reached home. Quite late la Ma'am. I know it's my mistake. I'm so scared when I realised I forgot about it. Safety wise! But it was not intentional at all. Which mother doesn't care for her children's safety?

But I was so caught up today that I completely forgot to arrange for the alternative transport. But my husband Ma'am, he kept scolding me .... as if I purposely want to let our son wait there till the sun came down. I already said sorry I tak sengaja but he kept lecturing me. I cannot tahan Ma'am. All these while, I have been the one running like headless chicken making arrangement for school transport for our children. I'm the one worrying, oh my god... what ifs, what ifs, what ifs....

He ... my husband, what did he do? Nothing much Ma'am. He didn'tcare to lift a finger at all before this. No attempts to help me find school bus service, no initiative to ask anyone from the surau for car pooling if possible. No nothing.

Recently Ma'am, there was this one other parent who was concerned about my other son who sometimes cried while waiting for the transport to arrive and so he offered to send him home because his son is also in the same class and so he thought, takpe lah, he can send him home because he so tak sampai hati to see our son crying. I told my husband at least call la to say thank you and pay for his fuel... that also he took some time, only called him the next day ... and that was after I sent him reminder through sms and resent him the other parent's handphone number. I mean, common la Ma'am. I cannot be the one to keep communicating with this man - what would his wife think?!!! At least, man to man, say thank you la. After all, he has helped what? Be thankful la....... But my husband like .... aiya..... like never mind la...later laa... tomorrow la.... Again I have to be the one with thick face, saying all the thank yous and sorry la for causing him inconvenience (because our house is out of his way actually...). He did eventually contact the man la, but purposely wait till next day only. As if want to show so macho like that.... how can....

To top all this, even when I've been the one making all this arrangement... would he at least offer to pay for the transport? No Ma'am. I'm still the one paying for it. How la Ma'am?

And then today.... just one thing I forgot to do .... he..... happily taruh me... as if I am a totally useless mother..... like I am so stupid because I didn't call him straight away to arrange for transport.

The thing is Ma'am, sometimes, even if I called also.... either he would be in a meeting or discussion and said he will call me back and then he never call back - and if I called again, he didn't answer my call, so I still ended up having to crack my head to make alternative transport arrangement.

But today I really tak sengaja you know Ma'am.... I know it's my mistake. But I was so busy today that it completely slipped my mind. My husband Ma'am, he so heartless one.... he made me feel so guilty.... But all these while...... who was the one doing all the run arounds? Did he ever care? Did he ever help? Never.... Today, one mistake.... he never forget to immediately make me feel lousy like this.

Not fair la Ma'am.... How can..... He's working. I'm also working. I have to worry both about work and about home. He? He can afford to just worry about work... most of the time just worry about work only. The worry about home all he lumped to me. How can like that Ma'am. I mean, if he wants to do it that way.... at least if I made one mistake like this, don't la put all the blame on me.....

Now I feel as if all the things I've done for my family is taken for granted. No recognition. Never a thank you. Some more still have to pay for some bit. Aiyo.... How can Ma'am. How can.......

I see.... so what do you plan to do? Is there any specific help you need?

No la Ma'am...... sorry to bother you.... I ... I just... I just want to let off my steam Ma'am. It's been bottling in me. I cannot stand. I know if I still keep inside, I can go insane Ma'am. I shouldn't really bother you with this. Because I know I have to sort it out myself. But just sharing with you help release the tension, Ma'am. Sorry to kacau you but thank you at the same time for listening to me. Just voicing this out and having someone to care to listen already helps..... eh.... thank you la Ma'am. Thank you so much for listening to me. I'm so sorry to bother you. I know you are busy, thank you so much for accommodating me.

Oh... No worries. It's the least that I can do. Are you sure you don't need any help?

Yes, yes Ma'am. So sorry to bother you. Okaylah Ma'am. I'd better not hold you up much longer. Thank you again, Ma'am. Thank you.

No problem. No problem. You take care ya?

Yes, yes, Ma'am. I will try. Thank you very much.

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I reflected for a while and my mind started talking ..... petty issue it may seemed .... but was that early signal of cracks in marriage? Work life balance? Gender equality?

Yes? No? I don't know?

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All in a day's work.

The kind of work whereby 2 + 2 does not necessarily equal 4.

And where returns on investment of time spent at work cannot be easily quantified like some other colleagues on the board.

:)