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Monday, February 22, 2010

Syurga

Dialogue between Hafiz & Ameer:

"Ameer.... Don't be so lazy OK! Dengar lah cakap Ibu! Jangan sepah-sepah toys!"

"Alah toys jer... tak pelah..."

"Ameer ni! Tak sayang Ibu ke? Nanti Ameer tak boleh masyuk syurga tau! "


"Kenapa tak boleh? Ameer bukan naughty. Ameer nak main toys jer...."

"Kalau Ameer sepah-sepah toys, Ibu terpijak, kaki Ibu sakit tau!"

"Nanti Ameer hug Ibu & cakap sorry lah! Nanti dapat masuk syurga kan?"

"Ishhh ....Ameer nih! Kalau kaki Ibu sakit, macam mana Ameer nak masyuk syurga! Syurga tu kan bawah tapak kaki Ibu!!!"

"Bawah kaki Ibu?"

"HAH!!! Tak tau ke?"

*******************

:)

Friday, February 19, 2010

Getting old(er) ....

You know you are getting old(er) when....

1. After several failed attempts, you have no choice but to just wait for your 6 year old son to return from school to help you switch from Astro to DVD player - because you have no clue which remote to use for what and which button to press and what the difference is between AV and REAR .... and even if you get that far as to have the menu appear on the screen - you still don't know how on earth to unmute the box.

2. Your 8 year old boy, in his quest to earn some extra pocket money, opts for "cabut uban ibu" as the faster & easier way. RM2 in no time at all, at a rate of 10 sen per uban.

3. You have to borrow a piece of "koyok" from your mom to soothe your own back pain, and promise that you will definitely return one piece to her because you yourself will be buying one whole box very soon.

4. It's the Analene (milk) promoter rather than the Sunsilk shampoo salesperson that is more friendly to you on the supermarket floor.

5. Your insurance agent keeps suggesting that you choose the more 'balanced' product for your investment link portfolios and stay away from the high risk high dynamic options to mitigate the risk of emptying your retirement fund too fast too soon.

6. You go downstairs to the kitchen to fetch something but when you get there and open the kitchen cabinet, you have a hard time recalling what is it that you are looking for.

7. You place an order for teh tarik, and the waiter asks "nak kurang manis ke?"

8. You hum Kate Perry's "You're hot & you're cold" and your nieces look at you in awe and say, "wowww busu! you know that song? cool..."

9. The travel agent promotes and explains at length the "ease and comfort" value deal as compared to the light touch on "fun, thrill and exciting" package.

10. You fill up for the membership form for any retailer loyalty card and have to tick the second last box for age category.

Getting old(er) definitely.

Wise(r) too hopefully.....


Salam
Ibu

Friday, February 05, 2010

Mind talk

CAUTION: TIADA KAITAN DGN SESIAPA. CONTENT DITOKOK TAMBAH SELAGI BOLEH... hehehe.... garam gula ajinomoto secukup rasa. Just for reflections....

Counseling / listening session :

Ma'am - why is it that when I do right -he never remembers? ? Never recognises and never says thank you? Never ever! But when I do wrong...... he immediately spots it and highlights there and then. He never ever forgets to blame me right away? Why?

I don't know really... do you want to tell me more? Who is this person by the way? Your line manager? And what is this all about actually? Is this about work?

No Ma'am.... It's my husband. The transport lady could not pick up our son from school today. She called me this morning. So I am supposed to arrange for alternative. But I completely forgot. I was so busy today and had meetings back to back that I totally missed to call my husband to ask him to pick our son from school. He called just now, scolding me like mad because our son had to take a lift from someone and just reached home. Quite late la Ma'am. I know it's my mistake. I'm so scared when I realised I forgot about it. Safety wise! But it was not intentional at all. Which mother doesn't care for her children's safety?

But I was so caught up today that I completely forgot to arrange for the alternative transport. But my husband Ma'am, he kept scolding me .... as if I purposely want to let our son wait there till the sun came down. I already said sorry I tak sengaja but he kept lecturing me. I cannot tahan Ma'am. All these while, I have been the one running like headless chicken making arrangement for school transport for our children. I'm the one worrying, oh my god... what ifs, what ifs, what ifs....

He ... my husband, what did he do? Nothing much Ma'am. He didn'tcare to lift a finger at all before this. No attempts to help me find school bus service, no initiative to ask anyone from the surau for car pooling if possible. No nothing.

Recently Ma'am, there was this one other parent who was concerned about my other son who sometimes cried while waiting for the transport to arrive and so he offered to send him home because his son is also in the same class and so he thought, takpe lah, he can send him home because he so tak sampai hati to see our son crying. I told my husband at least call la to say thank you and pay for his fuel... that also he took some time, only called him the next day ... and that was after I sent him reminder through sms and resent him the other parent's handphone number. I mean, common la Ma'am. I cannot be the one to keep communicating with this man - what would his wife think?!!! At least, man to man, say thank you la. After all, he has helped what? Be thankful la....... But my husband like .... aiya..... like never mind la...later laa... tomorrow la.... Again I have to be the one with thick face, saying all the thank yous and sorry la for causing him inconvenience (because our house is out of his way actually...). He did eventually contact the man la, but purposely wait till next day only. As if want to show so macho like that.... how can....

To top all this, even when I've been the one making all this arrangement... would he at least offer to pay for the transport? No Ma'am. I'm still the one paying for it. How la Ma'am?

And then today.... just one thing I forgot to do .... he..... happily taruh me... as if I am a totally useless mother..... like I am so stupid because I didn't call him straight away to arrange for transport.

The thing is Ma'am, sometimes, even if I called also.... either he would be in a meeting or discussion and said he will call me back and then he never call back - and if I called again, he didn't answer my call, so I still ended up having to crack my head to make alternative transport arrangement.

But today I really tak sengaja you know Ma'am.... I know it's my mistake. But I was so busy today that it completely slipped my mind. My husband Ma'am, he so heartless one.... he made me feel so guilty.... But all these while...... who was the one doing all the run arounds? Did he ever care? Did he ever help? Never.... Today, one mistake.... he never forget to immediately make me feel lousy like this.

Not fair la Ma'am.... How can..... He's working. I'm also working. I have to worry both about work and about home. He? He can afford to just worry about work... most of the time just worry about work only. The worry about home all he lumped to me. How can like that Ma'am. I mean, if he wants to do it that way.... at least if I made one mistake like this, don't la put all the blame on me.....

Now I feel as if all the things I've done for my family is taken for granted. No recognition. Never a thank you. Some more still have to pay for some bit. Aiyo.... How can Ma'am. How can.......

I see.... so what do you plan to do? Is there any specific help you need?

No la Ma'am...... sorry to bother you.... I ... I just... I just want to let off my steam Ma'am. It's been bottling in me. I cannot stand. I know if I still keep inside, I can go insane Ma'am. I shouldn't really bother you with this. Because I know I have to sort it out myself. But just sharing with you help release the tension, Ma'am. Sorry to kacau you but thank you at the same time for listening to me. Just voicing this out and having someone to care to listen already helps..... eh.... thank you la Ma'am. Thank you so much for listening to me. I'm so sorry to bother you. I know you are busy, thank you so much for accommodating me.

Oh... No worries. It's the least that I can do. Are you sure you don't need any help?

Yes, yes Ma'am. So sorry to bother you. Okaylah Ma'am. I'd better not hold you up much longer. Thank you again, Ma'am. Thank you.

No problem. No problem. You take care ya?

Yes, yes, Ma'am. I will try. Thank you very much.

*******************************************************

I reflected for a while and my mind started talking ..... petty issue it may seemed .... but was that early signal of cracks in marriage? Work life balance? Gender equality?

Yes? No? I don't know?

********************************************************

All in a day's work.

The kind of work whereby 2 + 2 does not necessarily equal 4.

And where returns on investment of time spent at work cannot be easily quantified like some other colleagues on the board.

:)

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Esok Ameer Nak Nangis....

It's almost 1 month since he started going to the big school.

Still crying tau........ Haiya...... 10,000++ employees can handle (I think can la....). Anak sorang masuk standard one kelam kabut. How?

Every morning got mini drama in front of his classroom. This morning siap peluk2 tiang some more. Kalah hindi movie. The class teacher tried to pacify me; tak pe lah Puan, tiap2 tahun pun mesti ada satu dua yg menangis macam ni.

Huh!!!! Satu dua? And one of those satu dua happen to be my son! Alahai........

And this Ameer, pujuk-pujuk also not working (yet). Some more can call me at the office (every day after he returns from school) telling me how long he cried in the classroom. If I am in a meeting, siap leave message pls call back, very important.

What is it that is very important? His latest message:

"Ibuuuuuu....esok Ameer tau Ameer akan nangis lagi.... air mata banyak keluar........"

(Very visionary... he plans for tomorrow you know).

Tak larat dah nak pujuk. Now I just respond, hmmm....... nak nangis? nangis la... tapi jgn banyak sgt air mata keluar, ok? Nanti buta.

Hehehe....

Salam
Ibu

Monday, January 25, 2010

Prevention is better than cure

But I didn't know it can cost so much wohhh!

Brought Alisya for her immunisation - the 3 in 1. 1st jab muka selamba. Tak nangis pun. Terror. 2nd jab ... hahaha.... terus broke down. But just a shortwhile. Girl power! I remembered Abg Idin & Hafiz dulu, I think the whole hospital trembled.

Tapi la hey..... why so expensive one eh? I withdrew some money thinking that it would be more than enough to cover for the cost with some surplus to bring bibi & the boys for makan2 after that. But to my surprise.... tak cukup !!! Luckily got plastic money on standby. Aiyooooo......

Other than the itemised cost for consultation fee, the bill originally only stated 'medicine' with a lump sump figure. I asked for the breakdown and the cashier was understanding enough (my terkejut beruk facial expression could have thrown her off balance I tell you!) and she helped print out the itemised cost for each of the vaccines.

I wonder..... was it the cost of vaccination that has really gone up since the last 6 years? Or was it the hospital that 'strangle blood'?

Must check around how much it costs other mothers for the same 3 in 1 jab like this.


Salam,
Ibu

p/s My lil' princess Alisya.... when you can read this in the future.... hah... ingat tau! Bukan 'murah' nak membesarkan anak2 zaman sekarang.

Friday, January 22, 2010

Anak oh anak!

I hardly tuned in to Radio ERA these days, but I did so recently when I heard Aznil's voice cracking with sadness.

Apa hal la ni agaknya? I thought since I am 'working' on my "feeling" side (which score was very miserable in the MBTI profiling... hehehh...), maybe I should listen for a while.

I'm glad I did. Though I still am not quite sure how to describe my feelings about it even to this day.

This one pakcik with utagha slang was on air, relating to Aznil the incident of him being disposed off by his own flesh & blood son at a bus stand after he (the Pakcik) had just undergone an angiogram. Earlier - when he returned to his son's house, his son's wife (i.e. his daughter in law) had cleared away his mattress & pillow and told him he could not stay in the house any longer. He asked his son to send him back and yes, the son did so - but he just dropped him at the bus stop, that was it. No reasons given.

He said he's now putting up an old folks home. He still doesn't know what he had done wrong to warrant such ill treatment by them, especially his son, whom he had "bela dan didik daghi kecik sampai la ke besaq dengan kasih sayang dan didikan agama segala". He would welcome his son if he ever wanted to visit him but would not want to see his daughter in law - ever again.

Whatever their reasons maybe. This old pakcik just underwent angiogram.

I thought of my father. My father who was once a tough marine police officer, whom many many years ago used to fondly carry me on his back (piggy back) each time he came home from his off shore patrol duties. He who once told me how embarassing and mengada-ngada I was for not wanting to take part in the "Hari Polis" kids telematch. He who used to bring home almost all of his food rations and gave them to his wife and children instead of consuming them for himself while on rough waters. He who ignored me when I nagged him to buy me an ice lolly - just because I was having a bad cough at that time. He who once dropped everything that he was doing when he saw my face got swollen all over (poison ivy) and dragged me all the way to Hospital Besar JB on a public bus to make sure I got immediate medical treatment. He who used to visit me almost every weekend during my 1st year in STF - on his motorbike - if he was not off shore, bringing with him whatever home cooked meals my mother prepared and some snacks if he could afford to buy for his daughter - who kept telling him that she wanted out because she was deprived of healthy food in the hostel. He who did not disagree with me when I said, "Bapak, you don't have to give me monthly allowance anymore now bapak, because JPA gives me some meal allowance and I think I can survive".

He is retired and very old now.

He's also suffering from heart ailment and went through angiogram & angioplasty procedure not so long ago.

It's payback time now. Transferring some meagre amount of money for him and my mother every month, insyaAllah. Sending him to the hospital for planned doctor's appointment. Rushing him to the emergency unit if angina attacks, nauzubillah. Fetching his medicines every month at the hospital's pharmacy and sending them via courier to my sister who would then 'dispense' the medicines to my father. Scolding him for sneaking in the middle of the night for a scoop of chicken or beef curry that was served over dinner but which he was not allowed to indulge together due to his high cholesterol and his heart ailment. Keep reminding him of my sons' names each time we balik kampung because he keeps forgetting who is who. And when talking to him, in person or over the phone, raise my voice to the point that people may misperceive as "kurang ajar" but only because he could not hear that well anymore these days.

I hated it when I have to leave my father alone at the hospital's lobby while waiting for me to pick up the car and make the rounds from the parking lot to fetch him.

I imagined and shuddered at the thought of leaving my father alone all by himself at a bus stop to catch a bus home.

I thought of the old pakcik. And his son's and his daughter in law's action. Whatever their reasons were .....

I am not much of a feeler. But this time it doesn't FEEL right at all.

It doesn't feel right that someone can treat his old father like that.

Whatever the reasons could be.... It doesn't feel right.

And today another story in the newspaper. A son, a medical student on a study break, beat his old man with an iron rod and slashed that poor old man's finger with a knife because his old man refused to give him RM1 million (!!!) His 50+ father is a company director with a government linked company and had recently undergone a heart bypass at the National Heart Institute. His wife is a department director of a government agency.

Apa nak jadi? Miskin susah. Kaya pun susah.

I have 3 sons. And now also a daughter.

Only time would tell.

Aku berserah kepadaMu Ya Allah.....


Salam
Ibu

Saturday, January 02, 2010

Tahun Baru

Selamat Tahun Baru.

Started with Awal Muharram. Then 1st Jan. Coming soon, CNY pulak.

Where did the year go? Pejam celik pejam celik dah habis setahun. Kesampaian tak last year's 'new year resolution'? Eh? Did I have any? Nak kena scroll back to last year entry if I had any.

If there's one new year's resolution that I would want to TRY to achieve this new year, is to blog more often on timely basis. That's the only way for me to be able to recollect "where did the year go" type of question. And more importantly, to fulfill the reason for this blog; 'catatan untuk anak-anak ibu yang tersayang'.

Having said that, rasa macam susah la pulak nak capai. Just look at the list of topics below that I have missed to update or complete since the last 1 or 2 (or maybe 3) years!

Not necessarily in chronological order:
1) Visit to Istanbul
2) Moonlight rendevouz with Kak Teh & Awang Goneng
3) Loi-loi kratong in Phuket
4) My twins - in loving memory
5) Abang Idin's new home away from home (boarding school)
6) The boys' birthdays
7) Mother's days
8) Father's days
9) Ahli Majlis Tertinggi get together & gatherings
10) Boys' swimming lesson
11) Alisya's arrival
12) Alisya & jaundice
12) Alisya's cukur jambul & aqiqah
12) Hafiz's first day in Yr 1 (oii... dia dah Tahun 3!!!)
13) Ameer's first day inYr 1
14) Obituary : Tompok
15) Cuti-cuti Malaysia
16) Hafiz & Ameer - Bye-bye training wheels
17) Ayah's project "Bumi Hijau"
18) My hand in the kitchen - a pancake it should be ...
19) Hari Rayas...
20) New year's eve

and many more.....

If only I could turn back time.

There is this saying, if there is a will, there is a way.

But there is also this saying, the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. *

Looks like I've got to balance the above two. So that hopefully, this blog won't be that dusty in this new year moving forward.

Only time can tell.

Meanwhile, it is still not too late to wish all of you a very happy new year!

Salam
Ibu

* Garfield said that. hahaha....

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Aqiqah & Cukur Jambul

We missed to have it on the 7th day as baby Alisya was still under observation at home - recovering from jaundice.

Couldn't do it immediately after confinement either; for some other reasons I can't remember (surely not good enough a reason, else I would've remembered).

Couldn't have it during the recent Raya Haji break because Atok was scheduled to undergo for his eye surgery around the same time. He wouldn't be able to read his kitab berzanji and hence who to lead? Ayah? Err... I don't think "Syurga di wajahmu" is enlisted in the kitab.

And so if 'menurut kemampuan waktu', I figured we should have it during Awal Muharram: a long weekend, plenty of time for relatives & friends to come over, from near & afar. And plenty of time for them and us to recuperate thereafter. Besides, it coincides with the welcoming of the new year. Perfect isn't it? Can't be any better.

Somehow I did NOT pencil it in my calendar because ....errr...i know this sounds lame, but I was still on confinement when I thought of the above date - which means I was at home then, which means my ever so efficient assistant was not around to help update & block this date in my calendar for this glorious ceremony for the lil' princess. Being away from office had this inevitable impact of steering me away from the concept of real time. Is it that obvious that it was sheer laziness that held me back from jotting it down myself? (blame it on the raging post natal hormones.... and besides ....i was supposed to be on leave, wasn't I? got excuse maaa....hehehe).

Anyway, if it is to coincide with the new year, how could I forget it? It's not that difficult to remember. The radio and TV would surely be trumpeting the new year count down. So nothing to worry mate. All under control.

Or so I thought. But errkkkkk..... I was wrong.

For the past few weeks, in my mind, I kept associating it with the'new year'. It is the 'new year' indeed. Except that it is the new year of the muslim's hjrh calendar and NOT the gregarion calendar.

And the new year that I should really be planning for is less than 1 week away. NOT 19 days.

GULP!!!

My mind has played a trick on me.

Breathe in....
breathe out....
breathe in....
breathe out......

NOW on your mark, get set, GO!

Run Ibu, RUN!!! Catch that lamb if you can. And go find a pair of silvery scissors.

This sounds like I've thrown myself onto the pitch again, for the new season of an Amazing Race.

A race against time!

Salam
Ibu

Updates: Sunday 2.08 pm

Kambing dah tangkap & dah tambat ...phew.....

Nasi beriani gam secured.... phew.. phew.... (thanks Rynne! mmmuahhh...)

Cupcakes & tartlets ordered .... phew...phew....phew..... (thanks Zai! muahhhhss....)

When the going gets tough, the tough gets going. I am so fond of last minute sprint like this working under extreme pressure, or to borrow Kak Yatt's (No Time Off) term that I've just learned; "jamak ta'khir" stunt .... eyyy... hehehe.... sabor jer lah!

Friday, November 13, 2009

This and that

Frankly... I don't quite like the title. It feels like I'm not focused. And I'm about to ramble.

But yeah... I am about to ramble. Hence, tak pe lah .... there's always an exception from time to time.

AYAH

Did he just got a windfall or durian runtuh that he's not telling me about? First the GPS. Then the waterjet (just the waterjet - not the 'ski' yet hehe..). Then the PC mobile speaker set. And he's also been talking about upgrading his handphone. He's even contemplating on the k-ok set like our friend TAB owns.

Apakah?

Isyyyhhh.... Musykil ni!

Anyway... it's his money la kan? But of course I did remind him - Bang, jgn lupa register for Qurban ya?

p/s Wouldn't it be nice for a change if once in a while kaum Ayah shop spontaneously for baby's clothings? Or baby's toys at least? I did say once in a while kan?

HAFIZ

He missed an entire section of his English final exam paper (name the body parts of an animal - an elephant). Berangan jer budak sorang ni. I always had to remind him of the F word. FOCUS!! And when I asked him how come he missed that one whole section worthy of 10 points, he replied "Sorry Ibu, I guess I forgot the F word". Hmm...pandai pulak dia menjawab. Anak siapa ni? And he quickly answered the questions - easy peasy full 10 marks - but way too late. The irony is, with whatever remaining marks, he actually tops his class for English.

And he tops his class for Science too. Sikit lagi full mark.

But can't say the same for BM. Jauh panggang dari api - though he has improved. He finally clinched a B. That I must say, alhamdulillah. It proves that nothing is impossible (other than me improving my culinary skill .... ahaks!!)

By the way, Hafiz ni 'alphabets friendly' (now that's new....) for the time being. He didn't just score straight A (Science & English so far) but also B (BM so far) and C (Bahasa Arab so far).

Awaiting Maths paper anxiously. Hopefully not D !!!!

Sony PSP is at stake here OK?


AMEER

He is definitely following my footsteps when it comes to 'shopping'. Everytime we go out, he surely wants to buy something. No matter how small or how cheap. One day it's a Bakugan. Next, Ben 10. Another, Bumble Bee or sedara mara Transformers yang lain2. Quite a natural negotiator this one. His typical modus operandi: He will first pick an expensive one. And when I say "No Ameer! This is too expensive!", he will quickly go into scanning mode and grab another one that is, say .... one fourth of the price. He will run back to me and while still gasping for air - he will grab my hand and look into my eyes like a little lost puppy; "Ni murah je Ibu!". Has he been reading my kedai runcit minutes of meeting on competitive pricing or what? Hmmm.....Anak siapa ni?

And with him accompanying me for my practice on 'detaching from Baby Alisya' this past week in preparation for returning to work - this is translated into a short 2 hour trip to downtown Rawang, hopping from Bintang to Parkson to Guardian to Popular Bookstore, etc, from time to time MUAHAHAHA....... you can imagine ntah apa ke benda Ameer has successfully ended up with. Each time using the same modus operandi as above and despite knowing this, I still fall for it. Aiyaaa....

Sometimes I managed to switch his picking to another useful item. Like a tomato plant seed. So now he's experiencing live farming. Only problem is, I now have to answer the same question every now and then, "When will my tomato plant grow, Ibu?" or "What time of the day today will it grow the tomato?" . Padahal baru 2-3 hari tanam. LOL!!!

Oh! By the way, I got myself some seeds too. Tapi yang menanamnya Bibi... no surprise there ya? And during dinner last 2 nights, Ameer asked, "Ibu.... when will your PLATYPUS grow?" Ayah & I both ... what platypus? He was quick to clarify " Alah... the seed, the plant!". Ohhhh.... PETOLA la Ameer.... PE-TO-LA!!! Bukan platypus.

He simply replied, "Whatever..."

Ameer oh Ameer....

ABANG IDIN


Safely tucked in his hostel. Still wanting us to visit him every weekend - which is kind of mutual. Each visit I have to ask him, "What did you lose this time?". Ada jer barang hilang. Track bottom. Belt. T-Shirt. I kept asking, eyyy... sekolah 'integrasi' (i.e. sekolah agama turned full boarding school) pun ada yang panjang tangan ke? His reply was, "Sekolah yang Integrasi bu. Not the students...) Hmmmm....Pandai jugak dia menjawab. Anak siapa ni? The last draw for me was a very new Adidas T which was meant as a reward for something. What was it? His TaeKwando tournament ke? Tak ingat. I said, that's it. No more branded t-shirts to be brought to school. Yang tu kalau nak, kalau Ibu mampu lagi la nak beli lepas ni, you can only wear them during school hols.

Surprisingly, he also agreed with that suggestion. Generally, they (the kids) suspected the makcik cleaner. Once they saw her wearing a track bottom belonging to one of his dorm mates. How did they know? Oii.... terpampang nombor pendaftaran dobi on the side of the track bottom. Alahai Makcik!!!

But as for the branded Ts - I think it may be some other kids la. Don't think the Makcik cleaner can fit into Abang Idin size XS t-shirts.

BABY ALISYA

Ohhh...si princess ni.... musyuk, musyuk 'sanjerrrr' ( a combi of 'sayang' plus 'manja' - a term coined by WanShana). Will have a dedicated entry on her soon :)


So there goes my rambling on this and that. Happy day ahead people!

Sunday, November 08, 2009

7 week young

Time swooshes by....

Baby Alisya has lost her newborn look and smell. But still constantly commanding attention like Ms Universe.

She now appears steady and alert when held upright. She smiles back at me more frequently now during our coos and gaga sessions. Oh.. she can pout her lips too, almost mimicking Amber Chia.

When on her tummy, she can lift her head and chest for short periods, almost as if she's doing mini-press ups. And as if sneering at me, "Look Ibu... it's not that hard to exercise, up one, up two, up three... see..... if only you try!" (Sigh..... me and my non materialising exercise routines.... hehe!)

I guess it won't be long before she can roll from back to front, or front to back.

By the way, I just discovered the weighing scale is actually out of order. All these while was thinking I'm one below 60. Until few nights ago when Ayah stepped on it and the scale still read one below 60. Yikessss! I'm doomed. 7 more days to go. Don't think I can get back into my office attire..... I should really join Alisya in her press ups soon.

Thursday, November 05, 2009

Enjit Enjit Semut

I am declaring WAR against those ants!!

How could they trespass our territory? Baby Alisya's territory to be exact.

She hardly cries (except for her feeding) and to hear her sudden outburst - and seeing those army of ants marching in the not so straight line in her crib really made my blood go upstairs.

How dare you terrorise and cause grievous hurt to my baby?!!

WAR I tell you. WAR!!!! (Pardon me.... just finished reading The Camel Club by David Baldacci... hehehe..... )

p/s Ayah said, must be the traces of the milk (my breast milk mind you!) that attracted the ants. Is it really that sweet? No wonder Ayah is on the watch-out-zone for diabetes now... hihihi...

Tuesday, November 03, 2009

Happy Birthday Ayah!

Ayah turned 42 yesterday. True, only 42. Eventhough he can pass as nearing warga emas age judging from just his silver hair alone. That is if you only look at his hair la. He still carries with him his boyish look. Albeit with a few wrinkles here and there (and the grumpiness now and then... ekekeke!).

Happy Birthday, Abang! With much love.

I managed to grab tiny tots that the boys chose for him. Those are their birthday presents for Ayah.

Moi? I haven't bought any birthday present for him (yet). I have a good excuse; 'langkah tak berapa panjang' for the time being. Still mainly around Rawang town only. Here in Rawang, we have Parkson Ria, Popular bookstore, Giant supermarket, Bintang & Mydin department stores and NSK cash & carry. Tesco is still under construction and will only open in a month or two. Which means, nothing much of manly gadget offerings or IT gizmos (imagine Imbi Plaza or Low Yatt ok?) for consideration. No - the rows of hardware shops in Rawang that boast a wide variety of gardening tools, DIY equipment and the likes - do not count for Ayah. Those kind of backbreaking and sweat inducing tools are not for him. Unless of course if they have a DIY 'rocketeer' to make one elevate or fly in style? Don't think they have that. Not in Rawang.

There are the typical eating outlets like KFC, McDonald, Pizza Hut and some others like Secret Recipe, Delifrance and Bangi Kopitiam which I can drag him, I mean invite him, for a semi romantic meal for two. However, I'm sure I would keep looking at the watch thinking; 'alamak...baby dah bangun ke?' or 'baby nak nenen ke?'. That would further discount the semi romantic meal for two.

Home delivery pizza for the whole family maybe? Except I probably only have RM50 in my purse. The last time I asked, the delivery boy didn't carry any hand held credit card swipe machine. Banyak nya excuse I can come up with kan?

I'm sure a hearty home cooked meal would be lovely, some would say. I'm sure it would be. But I don't know when that will happen in this home. So husbands from those homes with such lovely home cooked meal - be thankful. The ones that I can manage, like the ever so sedap and finger licking sambal telur that only Ayah & I enjoy (hahaha), I already cooked last weekend. In hindsight, I should have spared that for his birthday. So no special home cooked meal for Ayah from Ibu for his birthday.

Some would probably say ... alah.... why the fuss for just one day? It happens every year anyway.

I don't know about you. But I sure do make some fuss for the birthdays of my loved ones. I do, under normal circumstances, make the effort to make the one day of the year a little bit extra special for them. No matter how busy. No matter how tight financially (like this time in particular - when the tax man just sent a love letter to me saying I owe him some more still when ironically just a few months back he mailed me quite a fat cheque for overpayment.... what larrrr..... why chase me? I remit every month ma.... Chase larrrr those unscrupulous filthy rich non tax declaring business people out there!)

Having said that, to be honest - actually .... there are some windows of opportunity that I could grab to go buy him something or organise a mini birthday do with the boys (eh! and the little girl too!! ) like we usually do, if I really want to. That's it! If I really want to.

Does that mean I do not really want to - make the usual fuss - for Ayah's birthday this year?

Why?

Haiyaa..... I think I know why lah. It's very clear in my mind why this is happening this year. For me to know, not required for him to find out. (My good friend WanShana would be so not agreeable with me on this one. She would probably say that I tend to hide my feelings and that I probably should open up and tell how I feel more often. Yaaaaa right!!! Like I can do that? Feelings..... Aiya... cannot lah.... I'm certified incompetent in that department!)

I feel sad, really. For allowing myself to NOT making enough effort for Ayah's birthday fuss this year. Then again, I am fully aware why I indulge myself with not really wanting to do much of anything for his birthday this year. We didn't even gather around him at bed time to sing the birthday song. How pathetic is that?! Sad but true.

Alah... blame it on mild post partum lousy mood la senang ek? Takkan Ayah nak query lebih2 pulak? Scientifically acceptable what - though not scientifically proven why just yet. (Whether post partum mood is the real reason or not is a different story la kan?)

Eh! Hang on a minute! Maybe I can tie a big pink ribbon or pink bow around Baby Alisya (after fully bathed and dolled up in pink, dah wangi2 semua tu.....) and hand her to Ayah for him to cuddle? Hey.... that would be quite different. Ya.... maybe I would do that.

Now.......where (and how) can I find a big, gigantic, humongous pink ribbon or pink bow in a jiffy before he returns from work tonite? Tell me.

Salam
Ibu

Thursday, October 29, 2009

6 weeks young

Before she turns 16, I might as well get cracking with whatever that I have on my mind.

So let's hear the drum roll...... Introducing...... Our new pride and joy, our latest addition to the Rawang clan.....



Nor Diana Alisya binti Sabarudin
Born 4:57pm on 16th September 2009 at Ampang Puteri Hospital
Birthweight 2.88kg
(Photo at 4 days young)


6 weeks have gone and what have I discovered? Nothing can really fully prepare one for the reality of having a newborn baby. At least that's how I feel. The first few weeks of Baby Alisya's life seem like a chaotic whirlwind of new experiences and sensations, as we all get to know this new little princess that have come to join our family.

She's my fourth child no doubt, but it has been 6 years since I last took care of something so tiny and so fragile yet so powerful as to attract the whole wide world's attention to itself and that's her and her alone. I had to learn, unlearn and re-learn all over again on how to breastfeed, to nourish, to bathe, to change the nappies .....

( Oppss... I think I hear a siren... Do you hear it too? I think it's Baby Alisya's wailing for her feed. Gotta go .... 'nenen' time. I'll be back.... )

Salam
Ibu

p/s You get the drift? I wasn't lying....

Thursday, October 15, 2009

4 weeks gone

And I still have not given any update or further detail re the little princess.

I want to do it with style, wrapped with words of hope, prayers, wisdom and perhaps, upload some photos too. Itu yg sampai la ni tak hapdet-hapdet lagi tuh.... kakakaka.... what laaarrrr...

I promise I will do it. I must... Ni kan "Cerita Ibu"... Esok2 dah nyanyuk, tak ingat.... camner? But not today la... ekeke

Today, I just want to share or rather confess ... that I have not managed to do much since the last 4 weeks. Other than taking care of the lil' one and bonding with her. The rest of the items in my checklist are pretty much still left unchecked.

The few trivial ones that I have somehow managed to do....

Started "Camel Club" (by David Baldacci), at page 100++ now, 500++ more pages to go. ( I can now recall what OCD means - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder - thanks 'David'... ehehehe...)

Fixed 'jelly' (ready mix, just pour hot water & stir & store in the fridge for some time) for Hafiz. Suka dierrr....

Made some "ais krim malaysia" (you know, the one in long plastic tube tuh!) - sunquick orange flavour, for the boys. Maka semut2 pun sangat sukalah merayap2 menghidu sisa2 aiskrim yg merata2 depan TV tu - much to the annoyance of Bibi.

Removed all my maternity clothing from the wardrobe. But they are just lumped on a side table infront of the wardrobe!! Kat mana nak simpan nih? urghh... Sungguh berselerak.... Anyone or do you know anyone with buns in the oven wanting some maternity clothing? Email me....

And...

And?

No more really! That's about it....

My house is in a mess. I am in a mess.

Oh my!! Teruk nya.... And I invited some friends over for BBQ some days soon? What was I thinking!!????

SOS !

Monday, September 28, 2009

Profile updated

Taking one baby step at a time ....

First things first - update the profile.

SO now it reads, bla...bla.... mother of FOUR (previously three) ...bla..bla.... who kisses her CHILDREN (previously sons) ....

Membawa maksud ..... ?


Salam :)
Ibu

Monday, September 14, 2009

Still mother of three

My introductory profile on the right hand column cannot be updated yet.

Yup.... still mother of three, for the time being.

It must be very cozy 'in there', kan? Syiok dia dok dalam tu.

And yeah.... my initial plan to update week by week... no, I knew that would be too ambitious; perhaps month by month - more like it .... even that tak menjadi. hehehe......

And I can't be updating hour by hour pulak by now kan? The countdown? Ekekeke.... konon.

Will update soon with some reflections hopefully on how the last +/- 9 months have been treating me.....

Meanwhile, say a lil' prayer that everything turns out well ya? Ma kasihhhhhh.... berkat doa di bulan Ramadhan ni kan?

Salam,
Ibu

p/s Nama pun belum decide lagi.

Tuesday, August 04, 2009

School Closure

Just got a phone call from Abang Idin; his school has to be closed with immediate effect and all students must be picked up before 12 midnight.

Seems that 60 (or was it 80?) students were 'suspected' to have symptoms of Influenza A H1N1. Ramai tu.....

And for a boarding school - with students studying & living in close proximity with each other - I suppose, we'd be safe than sorry.

But to pick up the kids before 12 midnight tonite? Lucky thing we are just 15-20 mins drive away. Kesian la pulak kat sapa2 yg jauh-jauh tu. Tried to call my friend, Eyerin - just in case she needs me to pick up his son too for tonite - couldn't get thru la pulak. Must try again shortly.

I'm at home actually - kan I'm in the "high risk" category? So Ayah has advised me to just stay at home.

So for the next 1 week - all three musketeers would be at home. Dah pesan kat Bibi - need to manage their hygiene routines in "bazooka" style. No mercy!

Semuga kita semua dijauhkan lah dari penyakit2 yg sedang menular ni..... Amin.

Take care everyone.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Absence makes the heart grow fonder

He doesn't call me that often any more...

Not like he used to....

To ask how I am doing ...

To ask on some little things no matter how insignificant or trivia ...

To share bits & pieces of daily happenings from his side ...

I guess, he must have found his footing 'elsewhere' ...

I guess he now have other new found mates ...

I guess he now have other priorities and other matters to attend to ...

Wasn't this what I once told him so?

So why am I now the one fretting over it?

Oh well..... what can I do.... absence does make the heart grow fonder.

After all .... he is my first born.

Oh how I miss my eldest son, Abang Idin!

Still... I wish him all the best over there (yeah, just 15 - 20 mins drive from home anyway ....) and hope he will make the best out of the opportunity made available to him.


Salam
Ibu

p/s Pesanan penaja: Tak score kalu next term exam, siap badan ye anak ku!!!

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Back to ...... BM ?!

Kejap English, kejap BM. Eh... bukan, can be back to the other languages too now.

Then to have it re-introduced in 2012, including those already completed some years in English half way thru? Dey gomen ..... u want to 'reverse', you start fresh from Year One la.....

Shortsighted betul lah.

Semuga negara kita dapat menghasilkan lebih ramai sasterawan negara la esok-esok ye? Hmmmmphhhh........

Friday, July 10, 2009

Feelings

Every feeling is a valid feeling. To the feeler of course.

And today, I am feeling:
1. Taken for granted
2. Not cared for
3. Easily dispensable by someone

All because how I was or rather still am being treated by someone.

This is my half of the picture. Whether this is what that someone intended to make me feel by the action (or rather lack of it) is a separate issue altogether.

This is what I feel. And I have every right to feel how I want to feel.

I am not much of a feeler I've said before. And so when I am feeling something and actually admitting the feeling, that someone can be rest assured I am really, really, really feeling it.

Oh well... don't blame it on my 7 months pregnancy raging hormones. My hormones and the bun in the oven are doing just fine. This I can be very sure because none of my work is negatively affected at all.

Have I made my feelings known to that someone?

You bet I have.

Did that help?

Not at all. In fact, it only helped confirm the feelings. DARN!!!!

If that someone ever care to read this blog, then by all means, please be reminded ; "jangan salahkan ibu mengandung" if I start to behave so unlike me hereafter.

I am extremely pissed off okay? Don't try to pacify me at this very minute.

Don't forget. Every feeling is a valid feeling - to the feeler of course.

So to that someone - just back off!! Just let me "savour" this very feeling.

Ohhhh... syioknya....... allowing myself to indulge in my own feelings.

Hmmm... puas hati dah lepas geram!



Ibu laaa...
Siapa lagi?

Friday, July 03, 2009

Officially Above 40

Yesterday I officially became 'above' 40. Yes - years of age.

Surprisingly, I didn't feel "depressed" being ushered into the carat club.

Is it all in the mind?

I reflect on the journey of my life thus far, and I feel blessed. I must admit that I might have gone through some mind talking in the past, questioning or rather imagining how my life could have turned up today if I had done this or done that differently .....

In the end, I came to the conclusions that everything happens for a reason. Sometimes we may be able to know the answers immediately, a lot of times we also have to accept that we may not be able know the answers or the rationale pronto and that only Allah knows best and hence, redha ....

I'm sure it would be more interesting for reading if I can substantiate or cite some examples of what I meant. But I know for a fact some of the examples may be controversial too, and may hurt the feelings of some people who I know or people whom I don't know, or hurt the feelings of my loved ones even. So yeah..... I'm playing it safe and not be an open book here.

Do I wish some things about me or about my life would change moving forward?

Sure I do!

And no... it does not involve me targetting to become a Datin Seri someday. Nenek Berseri maybe.... hahahaha......

But yeahhh.... sure I want some changes in my life moving forward.

I want to commit more to practice Islam as my Ad Din - way of life - rather than just complying to the basic tenets.

I want to spend more quality time with my family.

I want to love and to be loved more - for the right reasons.

I want to be able to guide & coach my children & my family more wisely, without necessarily imposing strict standards on the ultimate outcome solely based on short term worldly desires.

I still want to be able to enjoy myself though but with just life simple pleasures, nothing complicated, thank you.

I want to continue to be able to vision the larger picture, the light at the end of the tunnel; and be liberated by the choices that I make towards those visions; rather than be stuck in the box with the cynical toughts of me being the victim succumbing to other people's pressures without having a choice to make the changes for myself or my family.

In short, there's still quite a lot more that I want to achieve moving forward. Both for "here" as well as preparation for the "here after".

One thing for sure: I want to grow older wisely and gracefully. Accepting what has happened and what will happen is in the hand of the Almighty. Yet with me having the power and the choice to shape & steer how I think, feel and decide for things that matter.

So yeah.... I feel happy .... so happy birthday to me, indeed!!

p/s I do have a choice to make Ayah realise how hurtful it can be for a wife to have to keep wishing that her birthday present is forthcoming from her hubby without her having to poke, remind, urge, demand, threaten or twist his hubby's arm, don't I ? And yet I still do have the choice to just keep it bottled up in me too - with the same rationale, oh...it's the thought that counts, right? The choice would be mine I know. But what would you do?

Monday, June 15, 2009

Selingan: Karan oh karan!

Received the latest electricity bill yesterday.

Ayah got an electrifying shock that almost turned his hair from silver to blue.

RM600++ kegunaan semasa!

What the ...... @#$%&!!! ( I can buy at least 3 pairs of good shoes on sale woi....)

Later in the evening, when Hafiz & Ameer were ready to call it a day, they had an easy approval to sleep in Ayah & Ibu's master bedroom.

They thought because we missed them too (they were literally forced to sleep in their own room during the hols).

Truth was? Heh.... save sikit karan, kurang satu aircond, kurang satu lampu tangga, kurang satu night light. Not sure if this can be a long term solution though.

Karan oh karan .......

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

School Hols: Boys run amok in Rawang

Surprised? Of course I shouldn't be, right? What else should I expect when 3 boys are home "alone" with no adult supervision (minus bibi).

Monday & Tuesday gone. The house seemed to be in good order from the naked eye.

Tapi sebenarnya...... dah ada collateral damage!!

Monday afternoon, Ameer called to report on the mischievousness of Abang Hafiz who wanted to take out the big water barrel ( alah... big plastic drum/container yg standby to be filled up with water in case of 'catuan air' tu..... ) from the guest room's toilet. It is a big 'drum' ok! And so in the attempt to bring that thing out, the mirror & glass shelf got knocked by it .... apa lagi....pecah la cermin segala.....

Yg dia nak pi bawak keluar mende tu apa hal? Macam tak cukup toys!!!! Grrrr...... He has not been able to answer this question still. ( Kalau boring sangat, pegi la kejar kucing ke, tangkap belalang ke..... ) That was Hafiz.

Tuesday (semalam la kan?), it was Hafiz's turn to report on Ameer's misadventure pulak.

Ntah apa cerita hujung pangkal satu hapah pun Ibu tak faham but the conclusion? Ameer has broken the liquid soap/shampoo dispenser in the boys' room toilet pulak. Ameer put up a defence, bukan dia buat, that thing pecah sendiri. Yeahhhh right!!!

Aiyayayaya......

Baru 2 hari !!!

Who would be calling to report on whom this afternoon. Nanti kita tunggu liputan lintas langsung.


Salam,
Ibu

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Ace for Ameer

Ameer was having high fever during his exam week recently and ended up taking the papers 3 days later.

His kindy teacher was quite worried for him, because he was still recuperating and not quite as chirpy and bouncy as normal.

I was the one who pacified the teacher, it's ok, no worries la teacher..... it's just mid term exam.... hehehe....

(In case you are wondering..... ha'ah... kindy kat Rawang ni got mid-term exam! Don't play-play! 5 subjects altogether; English, BM, Science, Maths & Arts).

He brought home his results earlier this week...

Si kenit tu, yg nak jadi Ghobot Bumble Bee, Ninja & entah apa-apa lagi..... who was still not fully recuperated from his fever when he took his exam, scored straight As surprisingly.


Oh well.... almost.... A- for Arts (agaknya dia kaler rambut orang warna purple lagi kot?)

100% for 2 subjects & 98% for another two. I looked at the papers with 98% and noticed that the points deducted were insignificant ,e.g. number "2" tulis senget sikit, and "9", the tiang tak cukup panjang. Oh well... the teacher has got to find some errors lah kan? Takkan nak bagi dia straight 100% semua kot? So no big deal la..... Bagi chan kat cikgu dia.

It was a pleasant surprise indeed for both Ayah & Ibu... Alhamdulillah....

A nervous alert for Hafiz (who's sitting for his exam this week only).

A relief for his teacher. (She's taking him to McDonalds this Sunday. But I think she's taking them all out, not just Ameer) .

As a reward, I bought him Mentos (yes, the candy, orange flavour) & a white t-shirt with Bumble Bee (the ghobot) print from Tesco. Cheap-cheap one only.

He was happy enough, and said "Nak jumpa Anis nanti, boleh pakai baju ni". HAHAHAHA....
No need to guess hard what (or rather who) his motivator is - to score straight As.

Salam,
Ibu

Friday, May 22, 2009

Tentang 'Murah Rezeki' dan 'Anak'

This post has got no relation what so ever to my current mak buyung condition.

Rather, a random sharing of what I heard over the radio this morning.

The station? IKIM. Ayah's choice as set alarm/wake up call every morning after the azan.

I don't know how (or rather choose not to know how) to 'operate' the radio. So I let it be.

And I thought, ok what pagi2 dengar IKIM? (Dalam kereta lain channel....hicks!!!)

Walau pun sekadar setengah jam dalam rutin bersiap di pagi hari sebelum ke tempat kerja - every little helps. Walau sebesar zarah. Indeed.

*******************************************************************************
Pagi tadi berkenaan anak & rezeki.

Siapa pernah minta doa murah rezeki? Tipu lah kan kalau kita jawab tak pernah sekali pun!

For most of us, paling busuk pun at least sekali - mesti pernah memanjatkan doa untuk dimurahkan rezeki.

Tapi ramai juga terlupa nak sambung, "biar lah rezeki itu dari rezeki yg halal dan baik......"
(peringatan untuk diri ibu sendiri.....)

Pagi tadi kat radio, Ustaz tu berkongsi cerita, masa sessi kaunseling untuk ibu bapa .... ada ibu bapa yang mengadu nasib kat Ustaz....

"Tak tau kenapa dan apa silap kami sehingga anak kami ni nakal / jahat / kurang ajar / biadap / ponteng sekolah / gagal periksa / hisap ganja / minum arak / seks rambang / etc / etc / etc .... Pelajaran & tuisyen, kami utamakan. Kelas agama & mengaji, kami upah khas ustaz datang mengajar. Buku/peralatan sekolah lengkap. Makanan lazat dan sihat. Duit belanja sekolah secukupnya. Pengangkutan terurus. Rumah selesa. Waktu berkualiti / percutian bersama keluarga pun kami tak lupa. Kami sendiri pun sebagai ibu bapa, rasanya menunjukkan contoh yang elok kepada anak kami (puasa, solat, mengaji, budi bahasa, etc, etc ). Tapi kenapa pulak dia jadi macam ni, perangai tak senonoh? Kami buntu Ustaz. Tak tau apa silap kami."

Apabila ditanya tentang perkara2 atau contoh2 buruk yang mungkin ada dilakukan oleh ibu bapa tersebut, hampir kesemuanya dinafikan sekeras2 nya.

Setelah puas soal selidik latar belakang ibu bapa, secara zahir & logiknya, Ustaz berpendapat memang tidak masuk akal kenapa anak tersebut sanggup berperangai sebegitu sehingga tidak menyenangkan hati & perasaan ibu bapa tersebut.

Tapi kebingungan terurai apabila satu soalan cepumas diajukan kepada ibu bapa tersebut.

"Macam mana dengan sumber pendapatan tuan & puan? Adakah dari punca rezeki yg halal dan baik?"

Kedua ibu bapa tersebut terus terdiam. Membisu seribu bahasa.

Pertanyaan di ulang sekali lagi.

Berdesing bagai halilintar menembusi gegendang telinga kedua ibu bapa tersebut, menyedarkan mereka dari lamunan mereka selama ini.

Walaupun pada zahirnya mereka itu nampak sama sahaja seperti kebanyakan ibu bapa muslim moden yg lain; dari kalangan keluarga yang baik2, berpendidikan sederhana-tinggi, kerjaya yang bagus dan boleh diterima di mata masyarakat, bekerja dari pagi sampai petang, TETAPI soalan Ustaz yang terakhir itu membuatkan mereka teringat kepada perkara-perkara lain yang telah terlepas pandang dari mata kasar mereka sebelum ini.

Mereka teringat akan ......

Habuan dari kontraktor/konsultan samada yang bentuk kewangan secara tunai atau caruman tetap ke akaun semasa setiap bulan ataupun yang berbentuk barangan yang berharga mahupun pakej percutian, malahan juga bantuan mengubahsuai kediaman atau perkhidmatan membaikpulih kenderaan tanpa sebarang caj yang diterima atau diminta tanpa segan silu.....

Sogokan wang dari pembekal agar proses penyemakan dan pembayaran bil dipercepatkan dari tempoh yang sepatutnya tanpa sebarang dokuman pengesahan .....

Tuang kerja dalam lingkungan 1-2 jam setiap hari. Antaranya hasil himpunan waktu dari keluar sarapan, tengahari, minum petang lebih dari waktu yang dihadkan, melayari internet selain dari tujuan rasmi bekerja, berborak bergossip dengan kawan sepejabat atau melalui telefon, membelek majalah hiburan yang tiada kena mengena dengan soal kerja - kesemuanya tanpa rasa bersalah dan tanpa rasa perlu untuk menggantikan semula jam-jam yang terhimpun itu ......

Membuat tuntutan perjalananan yang lebih dari had / polisi yang ditetapkan ......

Membuat tuntutan palsu seperti 'reimbursement of claims / out of pocket expenses' untuk menjamu & melayan klien, walhal membawa family pergi makan2 di restoran mana-mana, membeli hadiah untuk klien atau rakan niaga ketika urusan melawat kilang di luar negara, walhal membeli cenderahati untuk sanak saudara dan kawan2 sepejabat, meminta peniaga menaikkan harga yang ditulis dalam resit pembelian agar boleh membuat tuntutan lebih walhal kos sebenar yang dibelanjakan jauh lebih rendah......

Dan sebagainya.......

Dan sebenarnya perkara-perkara diatas jika dikira semula dan ditukar ke bentuk wang tunai, jumlahnya secara purata bulanan mungkin sahaja melebihi dari jumlah gaji yang rasmi tercetak di slip gaji ibu bapa tersebut.

Sang ibu bapa itu tersentak dari mimpi buruk mereka.

Kelu lidah untuk berkata.

Tapi terasa seperti sebilah pisau yang tajam menikam menembusi jantung, disusuli dengan perahan limau nipis ke atas luka tikaman yang masih berdarah itu.

Mereka tersedar, rupa-rupanya anak mereka sebenarnya selama ini bukanlah dibesarkan dengan sumber pendapatan yang boleh dikira sebagai rezeki yang halal dan baik .......

Ustaz bertanya secara umum, siapa yang tidak mahukan murah rezeki? Rezeki yang melimpah ruah?

Kalau kita berdoa dan berusaha bersungguh, insyaALLAH akan dikabulkan.

TAPI kita jangan lupa berusaha keras dan tekad berdoa agar rezeki yg murah dan melimpah ruah yang dikurniakan kepada kita untuk menampung dan menyara keluarga kita, adalah dari sumber yang halal dan baik.

Justeru, agar darah yang mengalir dan daging yang memejal dalam tubuh kita, suami/isteri kita, anak-anak kita, cucu-cucu kita juga akan terbit dan terbentuk dari sumber rezeki yang halal dan baik; tanpa syak dan ragu-ragu.

********************************************************************
Ada kala balasan untuk perbuatan kita di"bayar" tunai depan mata.

Persoalannya, samada kita sedar atau tidak?

Kita manusia. Mudah lupa Mudah lalai. Mudah leka.

Catatan hari ini sekadar ingat mengingat kan sesama kita, lebih-lebih lagi peringatan untuk diri ibu sendiri, ke jalan yang lebih lurus dan benar dan bercahaya.

Semuga dapat kita fikir-fikirkan bersama dan mengambil pengajaran yang sewajarnya.

Tepuk dada tanya selera.

Wassalam,
Ibu

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

1 minute fame

Yeah.... so I might have secured 1 minute worth of newspaper reading time from some people today.... hehehe....

Half page, above the men's shoes. Front page online (snapshot summary). hmmm .... not bad an allocation.

Sure enough I received some feedbacks via sms, email & phone calls from my "fans" ( err... and one via blog comment too :).

Some actually alerted by me in the first place. Hahaha.... gila glamer aper?

But let me share with you some of the feedbacks, which I thought are enlightening :

1. "Your pix looks good" ( from someone outside "fan club" - I know, pay awards is due in 2 mths time, so no surprise....)

2. "Very proud of u la... terus lari masuk resource centre" (from hubby's niece, yes - stay sweet dear, I promise I shall sponsor the well known "Grade A Choice" eggs (bunga telur) for your wedding)

3. "Dah nampak this am. 'Hubby' pointed out!" (from one Majlis Tertinggi member - even the hubbies are keeping eyes on us!! Alamak....)

4. "Alamak mem, kenapa tak pakai baju lip-lap masa interview? And what retails skills are u talking about? Maybe boleh try? " (from another Majlis Tertinggi member - see? eyes for details... bling-bling yg dia cari....sah MT!!)

5. "U ni, posing pun macam debator ... " ( from yet another Majlis Tertinggi member - hello friend, I tak posing pun tau.... dia 'tangkap' during live interview. So sejak azali style cam tu la agaknyer?)

6. "Wah. Aku dah baca article kau..... Besaunya gambar! Tak nampak perut pun!" ( who would dare to comment like that if not another Majlis Tertinggi member? Kah!kah! kah! Aiya Mdm! Kalau nampak perut, at least orang tau la I am not naturally tembam ok? Rather buatan orang tu..... )

7. "I saw oredi. Waaaaaa memang ada gaya. Was trying to spot the ring on d finger la...." ( tidak syak lagi, obviously has to come from another Majlis Tertinggi member. Tak boleh buat apa la kan kita ni semua? rings, bling-bling, gemuk vs kurus... that shall continue to be our key highlights of any day's discussion..... hehehe..... Mdm, for the record, not the Mont Blanc ring)

8. "Sis, cantik gambar you, Well done" ( from my junior Srikandi. errr... thank you sis. But well done on the news coverage ker? Or well done on the photo editing to cover up my pimples? Musykil nih...)

9. "Mdm, read ur interview today. Good job!" ( from ex-colleague... thanks dear! Ber-madam madam pulak you! hehehe)

10. "Glamer... front page, btimes. Ada staff dah tanya" ( from non other than my no 1 fan, my hubby. hehehe... tell your staff, if they want to apply, they can send their CVs through you. Moonlight as recruitment agent, bley? )

Cukup la kan..... 1 minute fame, as I said.

Orang lain keluar masuk paper saban hari tak ambik pusing pon! Kita sekali sekala, terasa la glamer dak? hehehehe.....

Itu lah cerita ibu hari ni.

The real message of the news article ? Ah... serious stuff like that, next time lah :)

Cheers!

Thursday, May 14, 2009

I cheated .......

The temptation too strong.

The curiosity uncontrollable.

The waiting game unbearable.

And so I cheated.

I found the answer online - on American Idol official website.

OHHHHOHOHOHOHOOOO....... Sedihnya....... My favourite has been booted out.

Ayah, you have to console me tonite. I am sad, very very sad .......


p/s I confessed to Ayah last night, "Sorry lah Bang, I so minat kat this Idol. But I think one of the reasons is because he resembles you in some ways, really....." ( cover line, cover line, hehe!). Last weekend when we were in England (err... the Optical), I even asked Ayah to choose a frame like 'his'. Maybe after this I should ask Ayah to start 'simpan jambang' like him. Uhuhuhu.....

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Mother's Day Treat

"Ibu, this weekend, you just relax okay? It's Mother's Day weekend", said Hafiz.

"Cool ..." I said, "Are you boys going to have a special treat for me this weekend?"

"I will massage your body & feet!" volunteered Hafiz, motioning the karate-chop that he usually rendered for my back & shoulder.

"I will draw cartoons for you - lots & lots of cartoon!", said Ameer.

"Good! And who's going to cook for me?", I threw in the twist.

"Err... Masak?!!! Ala..... Hafiz tak tau masak la Ibu...." he replied in a very serious tone.

"Nanti takut kena api la Ibu!" added Ameer.

Ayah either pura-pura tak dengar or chose tak nak dengar kot.

" Hmmm..... okaylah.... tak pe, nanti dah besar esok, belajar masak sedap2 & masak untuk Ibu okay? "

"OKAY!!!!" they boys cheered.

Then suddenly Hafiz asked, "Err... apa yang senang nak masak, Ibu?"

Alamak.... he asked me, this Ibu? Apa yang senang nak masak? Oh oh.... in trouble!

"Err...... Maggi maybe?!" came my instant reply, as instant as the 'dish' itself.

"HA AH LAH IBU!!!! Yess.... I think I can cook for you on Mother's Day!!!! Yes, I will cook something for you!", replied Hafiz jubilantly.

"AMEER pun!!!" yg kenit pun joined sama.

" Ye ke? Okay... surprise me then.... "

*******************************

This morning - I woke up to the chirpy & melodic greetings of "Happy Mother's Day, Ibu!" from Hafiz, followed by "Here's your 'Breakfast In Bed' ....."

The menu?
Maggi Hot Cup chicken flavour
Jelly beans in a lovely apple shape candy container

Courtesy of Hafiz & Ameer ........ cute kan? So sweet.....

Thank you, my lil darlings. You are my world too!


HAPPY MOTHERS' DAY TO ALL MOMMIES OUT THERE ....

Thursday, April 30, 2009

To KC

Bibi dah lama "return" to work daaaaaaa......

Kalau tak, harus I fly all the way to her kampung to extradite her.

She was on "vacation" for two long months, which allowed me to fully embrace the meaning of "penantian itu satu penyiksaan". LOL!!!!

I'm useless around the house without her - that's for sure. I can only layan the kids, feed the cats, set up pretty colour coordinated table setting and the likes..... oh yes, I can do the refilling of bath & shower gel & replenishment of tooth paste & shampoo too. hehehehe.... but really, that's about all.

I tend to write long typically when I'm officially on leave from work or on weekends.

All other snippets here & there are some stolen moments on working nights, if I manage to wrestle some time away from the kids.

Like this one ....

So KC, sadly for me, you can lower down that tabik spring vono now :(

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Let the lessons begin ....

It's never quite easy agreeing on how to deliver a mutually agreed objective with Ayah. We often get into debates, which is my favourite! But with Ayah as the sparring partner, the debates are pretty 'calm' and 'silent' (remember Paula Abdul's song "Opposite Attracts"?).

"It's RMxxx per month per head."
"Ohhhh.. too expensive........"
(followed by silence.....)

"Ha... there's a cheaper one at Perangsang Templer Park!"
"Aisey.... too far lah....."
(followed by silence .....)

"4pm weekends?"
"Clash with Abang Idin's visiting hours, don't u think?"
(followed by silence ....)

"How about week nights?"
"Hmmm.... tak sempat kot? Clash with Kumon. Unless you can come home earlier on those week nights?"
(followed by silence....)

"So shouldn't he start now?"
"If he howls 'NAK IBUUUUUUUU' in the classes, how?"
(followed by silence.....)

And this calm & silent debates went on and on for weeks, I think months now. But deyyyy thamby.... silent & calm camana pon, perempuan mana yg buleh tahan with such prolonged non commitment? Bukannya nak suruh kawen lagi satu pon! (Now that's a bad comparison! I don't think men would defer deciding to spring into action with such offer from their wives if that really happens! hissh.... simpang, simpang!)

What are these bigger than world matters to decide at hand? To commit pronto?

Hehehe... Just swimming lessons for Hafiz & Ameer, and Tae Kwan Do lessons for Ameer.

See.... bukan ler apa sangat kan? But waiting for my supposedly better half to decide and commit, MAK OIIIIIII!!!! Mengalahkan menunggu keputusan cabinet & jemaah menteri to decide on minimum wage in Malaysia.

So I decided to just take the plunge!

And yesterday, while Ayah was away attending an office function (corporate social responsibility) at Tasik Perdana, the Home Minister at Emerald Rawang proceeded to sign on the dotted line to :

1. Enroll the boys in the much deferred swimming lessons under the supervision of Coach Danny at Duta Palms club in Bandar Country Homes (which is only 3 traffic lights away from Emerald) in the morning, and

2. Enroll Ameer to join Hafiz in Tae Kwan Do lessons with the same Master Prabha at Green Park Rawang (which is also only 3 traffic lights and 1 roundabout away from Emerald) in the afternoon.

Given time & distance equal money too .... I concluded that, hehh, seposen dua posen differences in fees, takde makna nyer kalau berpeluh2 kena drive sana sini!

Yeah... of course this Ibu had to go through those cringe moments with Ameer grabbing & clinging tightly to my legs before entering the pool, forcing me to move inch by inch bow-leggedly to get him near the pool edge. Thank goodness, the coach was very good indeed - living up to his reputation as silver & bronze medallists coach. (Gold? not yet... tunggu my boys kot? Who knows....) Just as I got near the edge, he grabbed Ameer and carried him piggy back style to the middle of the pool. It was just the wading pool to start with, but which was still quite deep for the already freaked-out Ameer. In my heart I was like - Oh My God!!! Habih la anak aku!!!! I walked away quickly to the other side of the pool, took my seat in the shades and pretended to read (yeah... with the book covering my face! Hide away la konon... hahaha). And surprise! surprise! It worked out just fine. When I lowered down the book a few minutes later, I saw Ameer already had his goggles on and hanging on (to his life!!!) to the pool's edge by himself. Shortly after, they were already into the holding of breath under water and the water kicking drills.

Phewwww........ so it was a case of 'forced trust' professionally crafted. In a crisis moment like that (being in the middle of the pool where his feet could not touch the base), Ameer had just got to trust the sole adult within his reach, i.e. Coach Danny and hang on to him for his dear life - instead of hoping for his Ibu (who was gone from his sight in seconds) to save him. Coach Danny pesan; there is a technique to do it, ok? Don't simply pandai-pandai try on other people.... ekekeke.....

Hafiz, on the other hand, hmmphhh... macam itik jumpa air!!!

I continued ducking my head behind the book, forcing my over-rated motherly concern to be taken over by the gripping tale of the female suffering and endurance under the Taliban's rule penned by Khaled Hosseini.

At about 5 past 11, I heard the two boys singing the familiar tune, THANK YOU COACH DANNY! Hahhh...alas.... I pun dah berpeluh2 masa tu. The boys smiled towards me. Ameer put up his right hand up in the sky, ready to give me a high 5 from afar.

I texted Ayah to update him on the accomplishment.

Later in the afternoon, while Ayah was still away attending his corporate social responsibility office function ( hey... berapa lama daaaaa????? ), I dropped off the boys at Teacher Rameni's house to car pool with her children to the Tae Kwan Do class pulak.

Again Ameer was very hesitant in the beginning. But I just had to remind him that he needed to start learning self defense early, else who will protect 'Anis'? Wohooooo!!!! That line worked wonders I tell ya (hehehe, sorry Abid .... ). Talk about 'motivation'! This guy is really fond of Anis, a daughter of one of my MT clan, Abid. So anything for Anis. Plus, since Hafiz (and Abang Idin too, before this) was already in the class, at least Ameer was not as apprehensive towards Tae Kwan Do as he was towards swimming. But I bet my broken finger nails that it was the mere mentioning of protecting Anis being the key differentiating factor in this case. My maternal instinct says so.

Abang Idin also had a Tae Kwan Do meet of some sort at Stadium Cheras. A tourney amongst the light/feather weight he said. Ada ke? Ntah ler.... So we would not be visiting him at the hostel in the afternoon.

With visiting session cancelled and with the two boys out of the house on Saturday afternoon, I thought it was a good time to catch up on my reading. On the sofa, in front of the TV. Air cond switched on. A plate of goreng pisang (tapau from a stall outside the club) and a mug of teh tarik by the side (courtesy of bibik on weekends). The same 'A Thousand Splendid Sun' by Khaled Hosseini at hand. Wahhhh.... what a bliss!!! As you can guess ..... I dozed off to sleep in no time at all. HAHAHAHA ....

Ayah woke me up - tak sedar pun what time. Asked the boys whereabout. And I told him lepas swimming, lunch, lepak sat, then pi Tae Kwan Do pulak. The look of a pleasant surprise on his face was pretty obvious. Shortly after, he also joined me lounging in front of the TV - both dozing off to our Saturday afternoon slumber.

At about half past six, we were waken up by shrills of laughter, sweaty smells and a marathon of commentaries on how to do this kick and that punch by the two boys. Hafiz told us he had to spar with a girl and so had to let her win. Ameer was huffing & puffing at the same time, showing off his newly acquired skills.

At that moment, I knew, the lessons have begun .....


Salam,
Ibu


p/s Ayah... I've asked the swimming coach to text me his account number. That should spare you the hassle, as you can simply Mayban2him jer in the future .... ekekeke.... so you think you can run scott free that easily?