Cerita Ibu

Tentang Bapak

2010-09-23T20:09:00.008+08:00

I read Andrea Whatever's latest blogpost with a tinge of sadness, emphatising and symphatising with her predicament. Who doesn't love her daddy, ya?

Little did I know, barely a day after, I had to face a similar turn of events.

I was attending to a conference call at 7pm ish on Monday evening. Forgot to switch my phone to silent mode and lo and behold ...it went off in the middle of the call. I saw on the screen it was from my sister (Ibu Noi) but couldn't possibly answer it pronto and pressed 'decline'. I muted the phone instanstaneously too. Sorry kak!

After the conference call, I went on to study a file for some facts & figures, for an urgent recommendation to be made. I completely forgot re Ibu Noi's missed call and only realised when I was packing home. By then it was almost 9.00 pm.

I called her and apologised immediately.

She sounded calm in response to my kelam kabutness mintak maap.

Which was not quite ordinary of Ibu Noi.

For Ibu and Ibu Noi, we are two of a kind, kembar siam of some sort (though 6 years apart). My kelam kabut typically begets her kelam kabut in return.

So her calmness was not at all typical of her.

Which I knew then - something was not right.

Not good.

In a calm and collected tone, she told me, bapak was not well.

NO!!!! Oh no.....

Yes, he was not well.

BUT he was ok during Raya. We went beraya together to Malacca, the whole family. And he was ok when I left JB after Raya leave!?!!!

Yes, but that was about 10 (or 12?) days ago.

Slumped into my chair, numbed, not knowing what to think and what to say, I asked Ibu Noi if should I be going back 'home' (JB) immediately. She said I should discuss with Ayah but she personally thought that I should. I thought I should too. I called Ayah and he asked me to go home (Rawang) first as it was already past 9pm when I called him (from the office).

On my way home, tears flooded my car. Being the youngest, suffice to say that it's undeniable I was very-very manja with Bapak. Always refered to as 'Anak Bapak'. Countless memories of my childhood and growing up with Bapak flashed in & out.

Discussion with Ayah didn't take long, he simply asked to pack what's necessary and off we shall go. It was just Ayah & I, as baby Alisya was a bit feverish & coughing, and the two boys were almost already in bed. They also had to sit for their monthly tests the day after.

We reached JB at about 2 am ish. We learned that this time it's not about his heart. His blood pressure ok, resting heart beat ok, thickness of blood (?) within range. And after consulting the attending doctor and weighing all opinions and options, they decided to bring him to rest at home instead of staying at the hospital.

The ordeal was just starting.

Bapak has been in and out of consciousness. He's now bedridden, cannot move on his own.

When I was in JB last 2 days, there were moments when he was alert and fully recognised people around him, and there were moments when he completely lost it.

I stayed mostly by his side, on his bed, that night. Don't think I slept at all, maybe dozed off once in a while whilst crouching next to him, trying my best to recite whatever I could whenever I could.

As of Tuesday morning, he could still take in some rice porridge, though a very minimal amount. However, swallowing was an ardous task for him .

Throughout the day and the night that followed, we all continued to recite surah Yaasin and other surahs, in congregation as well as individually, as often as we could . We took turns to stay beside him and whispered syahadah into his ears over and over again.

Later on that evening, with the help of a young nephew doctor (bless him) who kindly did 'house visit' for bapak, he was put on sodium chloride drip via IV at home to reduce dehydration.

His condition improved slightly momentarily. With some help, he was propped up a bit. He started to talk a bit. And we all gathered around him, taking turns to come up close to him & personally seeking forgiveness, one by one. He responded well, and recognised almost all of us, including the cucus and menantus.

But as I said, just momentarily.

That was, for the time being, the only time that he was fully alert. After about 1-2 hours, he regressed, looked weak and tired, and dozed in & out of consciousness all over again.

There was once he nudged me softly with his elbow and asked for his porridge. But he could not swallow easily. And so the rice porridge had to be blended into puree form. And his Glucerna milk drink be spoon fed and plain water be sipped with a straw.

We all continued to be by his side, reciting whatever we could muster.

Every one, and I mean everyone (except for my own children who were in Rawang) was there. And everyone slept just anywhere. Ayah & I stayed on another night too.

By Wednesday morning, his condition deteriorated slightly further. He could not swallow even a spoonful of plain water. So they had to use medicine syringe.

My heart broke in deciding whether to stay on or to return to KL. On one hand I have my bapak in that condition, and on another I have my young kids and my diabetic mother in law
left in Rawang. We concluded to return to KL but made plans to be back home to JB again Friday evening.

And as of this morning, according to Ibu Noi, his condition has not improved. He couldn't even swallow the rice puree without spilling it out again seconds after.

He managed to voice that he wanted to perform his prayer and my siblings assisted him with his wudhu and helped recite the prayers into his ear as guidance for him to perform his solat via eye signals and head movement.

I listened intensely with sorrow amidst much hope to the few hourly phone updates from Ibu Noi or whoever managed to pick up my calls.

Only my body is here. My mind elsewhere, somewhere in between some unfinished task at work and matters at home (kids, MIL, etc). My heart all the way in JB, hoping that Allah would grant time for me to be able to meet Bapak again tomorrow evening, InsyaAllah.

To Bapak, kami akan usaha apa yg patut agar Bapak cepat sembuh. Dan pada masa yang sama kami semua akur dan redha akan apa yang terbaik mengikut ketetapan Allah. We shall do our best to assist you to recuperate, while at the same time pray and submit to God's will.

At all time I stay reminded that everything is in God's willing. Kun Fayakuun - if he wills a thing, he only needs to command the reality of the entity and it shall instantly comes into existence.

And at all time I stay reminded that so limitless is Allah in His divine glory, whose hand is the dominion of all things. Wa ilaihi turjauun - and to Him will all His creation be returned.

Here I am hoping & praying for the best, whatever it could be.

Salam,
Ibu @ Anak Bapak

Satu hari sebelum cuti raya....

2010-09-09T04:35:00.003+08:00

Can you imagine stuck in a meeting, having to concentrate on sales review, management accounts, P&L statement and bla..bla... 1 or 2 days before Raya? I'm not an Accountant....or anything remotely related to Finance. So obviously it was an arduous task for me to stay focused and pretend like as if I could stay interested on the subject. Raya mood overwhelmed me.

And I obviously cannot play poker - because it was showing all over my face! Hahaha..... My boss spotted my bored looking face and said, "So Ibu........ you are thinking of Raya already huh?". To which I replied selamba kodok, " Yes....and nothing else matters....". It cracked up the whole board room and help loosen everyone else, especially a few others who were also equally on Aidilfitri planet already but were better than me at putting up their LLB (Look Like Bagus only) look on their face. hehehe....Maaf Zahir Batin frens...

Thank god the meeting finished on time.

The plan was, after the meeting, I would walk across to The Curve, bake some ( I mean, the tunjuk-tunjuk version) kuih raya and buy Alisya's first baju kurung. Oiii..... after 14 years with boys only, you would have thought I would be ready with princess Alisya's baju raya 2 weeks before fasting month? Kan? Unfortunately.... this busy working mom sort of forgot her baby's just 11 months young and baju kurung for that age are not abundantly available for sale. At least not in the areas that are easily within my tapak after work. Sigh....

Unfortunately, after the meeting, dapat pulak email from Group Office requiring some info and the person who's ever so terror on that kind of piece of info dah balik kampung. So I had to drill down the spreadsheet, extract the data, gedebak gedebuk susun ayat segala to submit the required info and that brought me to.... 6.30 pm oiii!!! Hampeh....

I rushed over to The Curve. The kuih raya that I wanted so much dah habis..... cisss.... And as expected, there was limited range of baju kurung for 11 mths old. The ones available were not pink ! (Yes...that's the theme for this year...just because of her. Yet she's still without her baju raya....kesiannya baby ku....). And the prices, mak datuk....mahal la pulak for just that small piece of cotton cloth!

I don't think I would want to wander around to Shah Alam or Ampang tomorrow just to find her baju kurung and so I just grabbed one, size 2, and prayed hard that it would not be too big for her. And yes, I bought her a pink beads bangle and a pink hair pin too!!! uhuhu... best nya. Bye-bye blue....

And all that took me to iftar time already... I rushed to 7 eleven, bought a canned drink and a bar of chocolate. Ate in the car while driving home. I still had so many things on my mind that I didn't recall singing along to the raya tunes on air.

*******

To be continued..... ni nak sahur. Last sahur for this Ramadhan. I've got to be at the table!

Salam

MERDEKA!!!!

2010-08-31T12:12:00.002+08:00

Merdeka kah negara kita?

Of course....

It's a journey. Not an end.

I LOVE MALAYSIA !

Ramadhan entry

2010-08-15T01:51:00.008+08:00

I kind of miss blogging.... I miss staring into a blank 'new post' screen, cracking my head thinking how do I put that funny incident into words, that weird experience into a worthy blog entry or all those mind talks and post events reflections into blog posts that people would enjoy reading. I guess I got a bit derailed (sometimes) from my original intention of having this blog - leaving behind some notes for my children to read 'later'. So it shouldn't matter if my blog entries are not worth any glance by others. or impress any one at all. I should write from the heart for my children, just like how I intended it to be originally. Oh well.... kira macam JK Rowling la.. or yg tulis buku Narnia tu.... so the "fortune" is an accidental spill over benefit. Konon... hahaha... me in my 'I want to go to disneyland' mode again....

I kind of miss blogging. I miss reading blog updates from my favourite fellow bloggers. Near & afar. Most of whom I don't know personally. But some of whom have become further extensions to the list of wonderful people that I call blogosfrens (yeah...newly created. Sapa buleh tolong masukkan dalam wikipedia?) I miss following their stories. I miss their stories! Period. Because some seem to have not updated anymore. Some of them have drifted away from blogging too .... tooooot facebook. Kan? heheh... My personal distorted view. While I can't read blog updates by some because these some have sort of limited the access to their blogs to authorised readers @ members only, and obviously I am not one of them :(

Yeah... I kind of miss blogging.

But this is not the month to resuscitate blogging.

It cannot be.

Right? I think so.

For a very good reason.

Oh well.. Maybe I could do a bit of blogging if time permits in this holy month of ramadhan. Who created this concept of "if time permits" in the first place? If you want to do something, shouldn't you make time for it? Exactly my point. I kind of miss blogging. I am thinking that may be I should make some time for it. But I am reminding myself as I am typing this, that blogging should not be the first priority that I make time for in this holy month of Ramadhan.

And back to my original intention of starting this blog - catatan untuk anak-anak ibu yang tersayang - if I do blog during Ramadhan, I would need to remind myself that my blog entries should then be all things associated with the memories and reflections or anticipations or hopes of this year's Ramadhan. So then when I look back in the future, or when (if?) the kids do read them in the future, we shall be reminded of us, of our family, and how we spend our times with or without each other in Ramadhan kareem this year.

InsyaAllah.

Meanwhile, salam Ramadhan al-Mubarak to all fellow muslims who happen to manage to divert their attention from facebook for a short while and take a peek here instead. May you find peace and harmony with yourself, your loved ones and the Almighty, the ONLY ONE, in this holy month.

To my children,

Abang Idin... if only you could spend equal time bertaddarus compared to the time you spend you tubing, my spacing, facebooking.... alangkah bagus? Sejuk sikit hati ibu. Sejuk sikit CPU ni hah...

Hafiz... Puasa kerana apa? Bukan hanya kerana nak dapat pahala. Or kerana ibu. Or kerana nak dapat duit raya extra. Hokay?

Ameer... "Puasa sambung2" pun sambung2 lah ... this year tak pe. Next year, lain cerita.

Alisya... What can I say my lil princess? If only you know why I can't hold you too much longer after iftar & maghrib prayer this month, my dear. I'm sure you would know & understand later. Meanwhile, be good and sleep tight ok?

To Ayah, my hubby... let's pray that we would have the strength to continue this journey that we started 4 nights ago. A journey which path is crystal clear only during this holy month of Ramadhan. If time permits, I mean, we shall try to find some bit of time ... to further improve the rempeyek attempt and hope the rempeyeks will not be that "well done" (photos later peeps) next time around. ROTFL walau dalam keseriusan!!!

Salam
Ibu

Al fatehah ....

2010-07-22T20:29:00.002+08:00

Just read a text message from WanShana re the demise of Allahyarhamah Dalilah Tamrin, or better known as Raden Galoh in the blogosphere.

Semoga Allah mencucuri rahmat ke atas roh beliau dan semuga beliau ditempatkan di kalangan orang-orang yg beriman, insyaAllah...

Al fatehah.....

Salam,
Ibu

Healthy proteins from Peanuts ....

2010-06-06T12:34:00.004+08:00

Received this in my mailbox sometime back. Didn't read it instantly.... one of those that I send to 'nice to read later' category.... Glad I took time to read it finally.

The following is the philosophy of Charles Schulz, the creator of the 'Peanuts' comic strip.

You don't have to actually answer the questions. Just ponder on them.

1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.
2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.
3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America pageant.
4. Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.
5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress.
6. Name the last decade's worth of World Series Winners.

How did you do?

The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday.

These are no second-rate achievers. They are the best in their fields.

But the applause dies.
Awards tarnish.
Achievements are forgotten.
Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.

Here's another quiz. See how you do on this one:

1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.
2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.
3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.
4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special!!
5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.

Easier?

The lesson:
The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials. The most money...or the most awards.They simply are the ones who care the most.

Pass this on to those people who have either made a difference in your life, or whom you keep close in your heart.

****

Thot I should share this with my kids thru this page. And all those who drop by this place :)

Sila beratur .....

2010-06-01T19:25:00.007+08:00

Introducing....

A new talent in the pipeline ....

Baby Alisya, now only 8 months young!

p/s dimples left & right, jgn mare....

Yeah baby.......

2010-05-27T20:16:00.003+08:00

What: Ayah's annual dinner
When: Last weekend
Where: Pullman, Putrajaya
Theme: Movieganza
Movie what????

I first thought.... let's simply dressed up in Baju Melayu & Baju Kebaya - ala-ala P Ramlee & Saloma. But.... hey..... I no longer have the 'pinggang macam kerengga' to fit into any Saloma-like outfit, that's for sure. So, cannot lah.

Then I thought, alah.... why not as James Bond & any of the Bond girls..... Ayah can dressed up smartly in black suits and I can slip into ( read as: buy new!!! yeay....) shiny swaying slithering long dress - all covered up for sure.

Ayah said.... alah... sure ramai turn up like that coz they don't want to waste time thinking of what outfit to wear & money to buy new wardrobe. Aiya..... hancur harapan & berkecai angan2 nak dapat new dress... hampeh...

And then I figured.... ohhh... so he was willing to waste time to think of what outfit to wear la ye? Semangat pulak nak dress up, abang aji ku ini? Oh yes.... don't forget.... he's just been elected as the new term chairman ( or is it president ?) of the sports & recreation club. So he's got be 'in the zone' laaaaaaaa kaaaaannnnn?

So off we went searching for suitable outfit. There were so many options! Ranging from Disney movie characters (Snow White, Cinderella, etc) to super hero movies (Batman, Spiderman, Superman, Kluangman jer tak de!). But it was a real challenge for us. The characters that we thought we could 'menjiwai' ; like Cleopatra & Mark Anthony for example (ekekekeke..... perasan), the outfits were not so nice looking. Rather, tak muat la actually.... Haiyooooo... serious in deep trouble.

Someone recommended a costume shop in Sunway Damansara (ohhh....sepelaung jer dari kedai runcit ku itu....) and we dropped by the shop with much hope that we could find something that we could wear ( read: that we could fit into! ).

And when we reached the shop......

OHHHH.... it was love at first sight for Ayah......
(and because they have S, M, L & XL sizes for the trousers).

I simply tagged along..... as one of his chosen movie character's latest girl.

So here's presenting to you........

Mr & Mrs AUSTIN POWERS

YEAHHHHH BABY !!!

(Ibu as 'Beyonce' la konon.... but the version after given birth to 4 children...LOL!!!)

Salam,

Ibu

p/s Comey tak? Certified by Jakim, all aurat fully covered. heheheh.....

Teens & Cars

2010-05-03T20:50:00.003+08:00

Reading the 'story' from The Star today, related by a friend of the late Amirulrasyid (who died in the fatal shooting in Shah Alam) brought tears to my eyes.

There has been a lot of speculations and views on a lot of related matters - curfews, access to cars, etc .... I don't want to make any comment here. Suffice to say, I have 3 boys to worry.

Peringatan untuk anak-anak Ibu yang tersayang dan untuk diri Ibu sendiri:
Yang bagus jadikan teladan, yang kurang jadikan sempadan.

As with everything else - maktub.

Salam

House hosting a 'meeting' ? Nahhhh... not yet.

2010-04-09T20:49:00.005+08:00

Not so long ago, Ayah voiced out, he was thinking maybe he should have the inaugral meeting with the new committee members of the sports/welfare club (of which he was recently elected/appointed?/paksa rela? as the President - or is it Chairman?) at our house.

And I went like.....GULP !!!!!!

Alamak.... the immediate question that came to my mind, err...Mr President, Sir, your wife kena masak ke?

I've hosted a meeting with my team members at our house too before no doubt. But that was a day before I went into labour - who dared to stress up a lady with fully blown up tummy? And it was fasting month. How convenient.... bulan puasa memang tak payah serve food. hehehe.... nevertheless....regardless.... those who could not fast or non muslim, still should have some snacks right? But you see.... these were my bunch .... who have been brainwashed since whenever, that this colleague of theirs or perasan like boss sometimes .... simply DOES NOT COOK. So come you may if you so desire, but help yourself to whatever there is in the kitchen. And this cool bunch of memang no need to control macho type really helped themselve they did. The minute I said, let's have a break.... bertaburan la they all roamed into my kitchen, checking the pots & pans, biscuits/cookies in the jars, chips in the snack baskets, fruit juice & soda in the fridge, and hot drinks at the drink counter. Some even befriended Bibi and got handsomely rewarded with heated up masak asam pedas which they gobbled up with white bread (roti cicah kuah asam pedas pekat , pernah try? sedapppp.......).

Eh! Wasn't it fasting month? Yes, it was. Those who were fasting memang ler puasa..... But those "uzur" and non muslim surely knew how to have a feast in my kitchen! In the end, they were fully seated around my kitchen table menjamu selera with whatever edible they could find. HAHAHAHAH..... kesian sungguh....and kelakar sungguh....... And they really enjoyed themselve very much. If only I had snapped a photo!

But you see... this was ....my bunch. The kind of bunch that... err... what did I say just now? Err... the 'no need to control macho' bunch of gals/guys. The kedai runcit bunch of people whose working life revolves around 'sourcing & finding for food' come what may anyway.

Back to our newly appointed Mr President.

For you Mr President, you really should not hold your inaugural meeting in our house, Sir! Because Mrs President is simply incapable of providing the support at this juncture. Your new committee members may not survive the creative challenge on the search for the unserved food/drinks.

Your newly appointed committee members look up to you I'm sure. And I think they have a damn good reason to do so. And should continue to do so. I don't think you should risk your reputation too early in your appointment, Sir, simply because of the lack of a certain competency on the part of your other half.

Don't shake their confidence too fast too soon.

Not good for your credibility.

To cut the long story short - go get another venue..... hehehe

Esok esok when they have been inducted to understand how the 'household' operates and if they are willing to accept the enjoyment of indulging in biskut pilihan (many choices) cicah air nescafe tarik buat sendiri... then yes..... maybe..... hehehe.....

Sorry Bang....Ya Ampun.....

THIS DOES NOT IN ANYWAY WHATSOEVER RENDER YOU, MR PRESIDENT, ELIGIBLE TO HOLD ANY SUCH MEETING IN ANOTHER NEWLY ACQUIRED HOUSEHOLD YG PANDAI MASAK PULAK KONON !!!! THE IMPLICATION OF SUCH MISINTEPRETATION IS SIMPLY DISASTROUS. BE WARNED.

Salam :)
Ibu

Good school, good results... so what?

2010-03-17T19:58:00.003+08:00

When we decided that it would be good to send Abg Idin to a boarding school, we also decided that ... the closer the better. It was like, yeah...let's put him into asrama BUT let's choose the nearest school so that it would be easy for us to visit him during the weekends. Hehehe...

We found out about SBPI Rawang.... 15 - 20 mins away from home. Waahhhhh.... very close indeed.

I had no clue (asyik clue-less jer Ibu ni?) what "Integrasi" meant then and thought little of it. Did not do any research or enquiry on the school academic records, the teachers' capability, the standards of the hostel, etc, etc .... So long the school is near to home, fine by me.

Yes - near to home was the key deciding factor.

A bit embarrasing at times when some friends or other parents asked why we chose that school, why not the premier schools, etc, etc, and I had to sheepishly answer, "Err... sebab tersangatlah dekat dengan rumah? So tak lah Ibu rindu sangat dgn anak sulung dia?". And my friends would tease me, woi... nak hantar masuk asrama ke tak nak ni?

Oh well... dua-dua nak la kawan...how laa....

So throughout the 1st year Abang Idin in SBPI Rawang, we had to endure such questions as "ohhh...sekolah baru ke?", "sekolah agama ke tu?" , "is it full boarding school ?", etc, etc ....

By the way, SBPI Rawang is in Bandar Tasik Puteri, Rawang. And approaching the school, there is this road sign depicting "lembu crossing". Get the drift?

This year, SBPI Rawang is listed as one of the top 10 (government) schools based on PMR results and also the latest SPM results - alongside other bigger names.

Abang Idin is happy. Proud for his school. Nervous at the same time. Thinking... alamak... he is the future generation to maintain similar if not better results (good wake up call for him la kan?).

Ibu? I should be happy right? That the school which was never known to many before, is now listed as amongst the better ones?

Maybe I should be happy. Of course I am.

But heh...actually more nervous than happy.

So the school is proven that it can be 'good' - based on academic achievements.

But would it nurture Abg Idin to be better than just achieving good results?

Would it help Abg Idin develop a well rounded personality?

Would it prepare Abg Idin to be self sufficient and independent - from otherwise the familiar style of microscopic monitoring and/or constant nagging by teachers/parents/seniors to do what he's supposed to do (homework, revision, riadah, solat, mengaji, ibadah, etc, etc)?

Would it instill in Abg Idin the necessary ingredients to help him ultimately develop into a good faithful muslim?

Maybe I am thinking too much and that I should let it be and see how he develops?

Entah lah eh....

But nahhh.... I think it's good to bear these questions in mind. So that I can remind myself - things won't just happen. We have to make it happens.

The school is just the infrastructure - roof, pillars, classrooms & dorms. The students, with their hearts & minds, are the intellectual capital. Everything else is in between - to help achieve what every parent's heartfelt desire and wish for their children.

Usaha, doa ... then baru tawakkal.

Kan? Kan? Kan?

Just my mind talking...... ignore me.....

Syurga

2010-02-22T18:25:00.003+08:00

Dialogue between Hafiz & Ameer:

"Ameer.... Don't be so lazy OK! Dengar lah cakap Ibu! Jangan sepah-sepah toys!"

"Alah toys jer... tak pelah..."

"Ameer ni! Tak sayang Ibu ke? Nanti Ameer tak boleh masyuk syurga tau! "

"Kenapa tak boleh? Ameer bukan naughty. Ameer nak main toys jer...."

"Kalau Ameer sepah-sepah toys, Ibu terpijak, kaki Ibu sakit tau!"

"Nanti Ameer hug Ibu & cakap sorry lah! Nanti dapat masuk syurga kan?"

"Ishhh ....Ameer nih! Kalau kaki Ibu sakit, macam mana Ameer nak masyuk syurga! Syurga tu kan bawah tapak kaki Ibu!!!"

"Bawah kaki Ibu?"

"HAH!!! Tak tau ke?"

*******************

:)

Getting old(er) ....

2010-02-19T13:36:00.006+08:00

You know you are getting old(er) when....

1. After several failed attempts, you have no choice but to just wait for your 6 year old son to return from school to help you switch from Astro to DVD player - because you have no clue which remote to use for what and which button to press and what the difference is between AV and REAR .... and even if you get that far as to have the menu appear on the screen - you still don't know how on earth to unmute the box.

2. Your 8 year old boy, in his quest to earn some extra pocket money, opts for "cabut uban ibu" as the faster & easier way. RM2 in no time at all, at a rate of 10 sen per uban.

3. You have to borrow a piece of "koyok" from your mom to soothe your own back pain, and promise that you will definitely return one piece to her because you yourself will be buying one whole box very soon.

4. It's the Analene (milk) promoter rather than the Sunsilk shampoo salesperson that is more friendly to you on the supermarket floor.

5. Your insurance agent keeps suggesting that you choose the more 'balanced' product for your investment link portfolios and stay away from the high risk high dynamic options to mitigate the risk of emptying your retirement fund too fast too soon.

6. You go downstairs to the kitchen to fetch something but when you get there and open the kitchen cabinet, you have a hard time recalling what is it that you are looking for.

7. You place an order for teh tarik, and the waiter asks "nak kurang manis ke?"

8. You hum Kate Perry's "You're hot & you're cold" and your nieces look at you in awe and say, "wowww busu! you know that song? cool..."

9. The travel agent promotes and explains at length the "ease and comfort" value deal as compared to the light touch on "fun, thrill and exciting" package.

10. You fill up for the membership form for any retailer loyalty card and have to tick the second last box for age category.

Getting old(er) definitely.

Wise(r) too hopefully.....

Salam
Ibu

Mind talk

2010-02-05T21:34:00.006+08:00

CAUTION: TIADA KAITAN DGN SESIAPA. CONTENT DITOKOK TAMBAH SELAGI BOLEH... hehehe.... garam gula ajinomoto secukup rasa. Just for reflections....

Counseling / listening session :

Ma'am - why is it that when I do right -he never remembers? ? Never recognises and never says thank you? Never ever! But when I do wrong...... he immediately spots it and highlights there and then. He never ever forgets to blame me right away? Why?

I don't know really... do you want to tell me more? Who is this person by the way? Your line manager? And what is this all about actually? Is this about work?

No Ma'am.... It's my husband. The transport lady could not pick up our son from school today. She called me this morning. So I am supposed to arrange for alternative. But I completely forgot. I was so busy today and had meetings back to back that I totally missed to call my husband to ask him to pick our son from school. He called just now, scolding me like mad because our son had to take a lift from someone and just reached home. Quite late la Ma'am. I know it's my mistake. I'm so scared when I realised I forgot about it. Safety wise! But it was not intentional at all. Which mother doesn't care for her children's safety?

But I was so caught up today that I completely forgot to arrange for the alternative transport. But my husband Ma'am, he kept scolding me .... as if I purposely want to let our son wait there till the sun came down. I already said sorry I tak sengaja but he kept lecturing me. I cannot tahan Ma'am. All these while, I have been the one running like headless chicken making arrangement for school transport for our children. I'm the one worrying, oh my god... what ifs, what ifs, what ifs....

He ... my husband, what did he do? Nothing much Ma'am. He didn'tcare to lift a finger at all before this. No attempts to help me find school bus service, no initiative to ask anyone from the surau for car pooling if possible. No nothing.

Recently Ma'am, there was this one other parent who was concerned about my other son who sometimes cried while waiting for the transport to arrive and so he offered to send him home because his son is also in the same class and so he thought, takpe lah, he can send him home because he so tak sampai hati to see our son crying. I told my husband at least call la to say thank you and pay for his fuel... that also he took some time, only called him the next day ... and that was after I sent him reminder through sms and resent him the other parent's handphone number. I mean, common la Ma'am. I cannot be the one to keep communicating with this man - what would his wife think?!!! At least, man to man, say thank you la. After all, he has helped what? Be thankful la....... But my husband like .... aiya..... like never mind la...later laa... tomorrow la.... Again I have to be the one with thick face, saying all the thank yous and sorry la for causing him inconvenience (because our house is out of his way actually...). He did eventually contact the man la, but purposely wait till next day only. As if want to show so macho like that.... how can....

To top all this, even when I've been the one making all this arrangement... would he at least offer to pay for the transport? No Ma'am. I'm still the one paying for it. How la Ma'am?

And then today.... just one thing I forgot to do .... he..... happily taruh me... as if I am a totally useless mother..... like I am so stupid because I didn't call him straight away to arrange for transport.

The thing is Ma'am, sometimes, even if I called also.... either he would be in a meeting or discussion and said he will call me back and then he never call back - and if I called again, he didn't answer my call, so I still ended up having to crack my head to make alternative transport arrangement.

But today I really tak sengaja you know Ma'am.... I know it's my mistake. But I was so busy today that it completely slipped my mind. My husband Ma'am, he so heartless one.... he made me feel so guilty.... But all these while...... who was the one doing all the run arounds? Did he ever care? Did he ever help? Never.... Today, one mistake.... he never forget to immediately make me feel lousy like this.

Not fair la Ma'am.... How can..... He's working. I'm also working. I have to worry both about work and about home. He? He can afford to just worry about work... most of the time just worry about work only. The worry about home all he lumped to me. How can like that Ma'am. I mean, if he wants to do it that way.... at least if I made one mistake like this, don't la put all the blame on me.....

Now I feel as if all the things I've done for my family is taken for granted. No recognition. Never a thank you. Some more still have to pay for some bit. Aiyo.... How can Ma'am. How can.......

I see.... so what do you plan to do? Is there any specific help you need?

No la Ma'am...... sorry to bother you.... I ... I just... I just want to let off my steam Ma'am. It's been bottling in me. I cannot stand. I know if I still keep inside, I can go insane Ma'am. I shouldn't really bother you with this. Because I know I have to sort it out myself. But just sharing with you help release the tension, Ma'am. Sorry to kacau you but thank you at the same time for listening to me. Just voicing this out and having someone to care to listen already helps..... eh.... thank you la Ma'am. Thank you so much for listening to me. I'm so sorry to bother you. I know you are busy, thank you so much for accommodating me.

Oh... No worries. It's the least that I can do. Are you sure you don't need any help?

Yes, yes Ma'am. So sorry to bother you. Okaylah Ma'am. I'd better not hold you up much longer. Thank you again, Ma'am. Thank you.

No problem. No problem. You take care ya?

Yes, yes, Ma'am. I will try. Thank you very much.

*******************************************************

I reflected for a while and my mind started talking ..... petty issue it may seemed .... but was that early signal of cracks in marriage? Work life balance? Gender equality?

Yes? No? I don't know?

********************************************************

All in a day's work.

The kind of work whereby 2 + 2 does not necessarily equal 4.

And where returns on investment of time spent at work cannot be easily quantified like some other colleagues on the board.

:)

Esok Ameer Nak Nangis....

2010-01-28T19:25:00.002+08:00

It's almost 1 month since he started going to the big school.

Still crying tau........ Haiya...... 10,000++ employees can handle (I think can la....). Anak sorang masuk standard one kelam kabut. How?

Every morning got mini drama in front of his classroom. This morning siap peluk2 tiang some more. Kalah hindi movie. The class teacher tried to pacify me; tak pe lah Puan, tiap2 tahun pun mesti ada satu dua yg menangis macam ni.

Huh!!!! Satu dua? And one of those satu dua happen to be my son! Alahai........

And this Ameer, pujuk-pujuk also not working (yet). Some more can call me at the office (every day after he returns from school) telling me how long he cried in the classroom. If I am in a meeting, siap leave message pls call back, very important.

What is it that is very important? His latest message:

"Ibuuuuuu....esok Ameer tau Ameer akan nangis lagi.... air mata banyak keluar........"

(Very visionary... he plans for tomorrow you know).

Tak larat dah nak pujuk. Now I just respond, hmmm....... nak nangis? nangis la... tapi jgn banyak sgt air mata keluar, ok? Nanti buta.

Hehehe....

Salam
Ibu

Prevention is better than cure

2010-01-25T17:43:00.003+08:00

But I didn't know it can cost so much wohhh!

Brought Alisya for her immunisation - the 3 in 1. 1st jab muka selamba. Tak nangis pun. Terror. 2nd jab ... hahaha.... terus broke down. But just a shortwhile. Girl power! I remembered Abg Idin & Hafiz dulu, I think the whole hospital trembled.

Tapi la hey..... why so expensive one eh? I withdrew some money thinking that it would be more than enough to cover for the cost with some surplus to bring bibi & the boys for makan2 after that. But to my surprise.... tak cukup !!! Luckily got plastic money on standby. Aiyooooo......

Other than the itemised cost for consultation fee, the bill originally only stated 'medicine' with a lump sump figure. I asked for the breakdown and the cashier was understanding enough (my terkejut beruk facial expression could have thrown her off balance I tell you!) and she helped print out the itemised cost for each of the vaccines.

I wonder..... was it the cost of vaccination that has really gone up since the last 6 years? Or was it the hospital that 'strangle blood'?

Must check around how much it costs other mothers for the same 3 in 1 jab like this.

Salam,
Ibu

p/s My lil' princess Alisya.... when you can read this in the future.... hah... ingat tau! Bukan 'murah' nak membesarkan anak2 zaman sekarang.

Anak oh anak!

2010-01-22T19:56:00.007+08:00

I hardly tuned in to Radio ERA these days, but I did so recently when I heard Aznil's voice cracking with sadness.

Apa hal la ni agaknya? I thought since I am 'working' on my "feeling" side (which score was very miserable in the MBTI profiling... hehehh...), maybe I should listen for a while.

I'm glad I did. Though I still am not quite sure how to describe my feelings about it even to this day.

This one pakcik with utagha slang was on air, relating to Aznil the incident of him being disposed off by his own flesh & blood son at a bus stand after he (the Pakcik) had just undergone an angiogram. Earlier - when he returned to his son's house, his son's wife (i.e. his daughter in law) had cleared away his mattress & pillow and told him he could not stay in the house any longer. He asked his son to send him back and yes, the son did so - but he just dropped him at the bus stop, that was it. No reasons given.

He said he's now putting up an old folks home. He still doesn't know what he had done wrong to warrant such ill treatment by them, especially his son, whom he had "bela dan didik daghi kecik sampai la ke besaq dengan kasih sayang dan didikan agama segala". He would welcome his son if he ever wanted to visit him but would not want to see his daughter in law - ever again.

Whatever their reasons maybe. This old pakcik just underwent angiogram.

I thought of my father. My father who was once a tough marine police officer, whom many many years ago used to fondly carry me on his back (piggy back) each time he came home from his off shore patrol duties. He who once told me how embarassing and mengada-ngada I was for not wanting to take part in the "Hari Polis" kids telematch. He who used to bring home almost all of his food rations and gave them to his wife and children instead of consuming them for himself while on rough waters. He who ignored me when I nagged him to buy me an ice lolly - just because I was having a bad cough at that time. He who once dropped everything that he was doing when he saw my face got swollen all over (poison ivy) and dragged me all the way to Hospital Besar JB on a public bus to make sure I got immediate medical treatment. He who used to visit me almost every weekend during my 1st year in STF - on his motorbike - if he was not off shore, bringing with him whatever home cooked meals my mother prepared and some snacks if he could afford to buy for his daughter - who kept telling him that she wanted out because she was deprived of healthy food in the hostel. He who did not disagree with me when I said, "Bapak, you don't have to give me monthly allowance anymore now bapak, because JPA gives me some meal allowance and I think I can survive".

He is retired and very old now.

He's also suffering from heart ailment and went through angiogram & angioplasty procedure not so long ago.

It's payback time now. Transferring some meagre amount of money for him and my mother every month, insyaAllah. Sending him to the hospital for planned doctor's appointment. Rushing him to the emergency unit if angina attacks, nauzubillah. Fetching his medicines every month at the hospital's pharmacy and sending them via courier to my sister who would then 'dispense' the medicines to my father. Scolding him for sneaking in the middle of the night for a scoop of chicken or beef curry that was served over dinner but which he was not allowed to indulge together due to his high cholesterol and his heart ailment. Keep reminding him of my sons' names each time we balik kampung because he keeps forgetting who is who. And when talking to him, in person or over the phone, raise my voice to the point that people may misperceive as "kurang ajar" but only because he could not hear that well anymore these days.

I hated it when I have to leave my father alone at the hospital's lobby while waiting for me to pick up the car and make the rounds from the parking lot to fetch him.

I imagined and shuddered at the thought of leaving my father alone all by himself at a bus stop to catch a bus home.

I thought of the old pakcik. And his son's and his daughter in law's action. Whatever their reasons were .....

I am not much of a feeler. But this time it doesn't FEEL right at all.

It doesn't feel right that someone can treat his old father like that.

Whatever the reasons could be.... It doesn't feel right.

And today another story in the newspaper. A son, a medical student on a study break, beat his old man with an iron rod and slashed that poor old man's finger with a knife because his old man refused to give him RM1 million (!!!) His 50+ father is a company director with a government linked company and had recently undergone a heart bypass at the National Heart Institute. His wife is a department director of a government agency.

Apa nak jadi? Miskin susah. Kaya pun susah.

I have 3 sons. And now also a daughter.

Only time would tell.

Aku berserah kepadaMu Ya Allah.....

Salam
Ibu

Tahun Baru

2010-01-02T10:11:00.003+08:00

Selamat Tahun Baru.

Started with Awal Muharram. Then 1st Jan. Coming soon, CNY pulak.

Where did the year go? Pejam celik pejam celik dah habis setahun. Kesampaian tak last year's 'new year resolution'? Eh? Did I have any? Nak kena scroll back to last year entry if I had any.

If there's one new year's resolution that I would want to TRY to achieve this new year, is to blog more often on timely basis. That's the only way for me to be able to recollect "where did the year go" type of question. And more importantly, to fulfill the reason for this blog; 'catatan untuk anak-anak ibu yang tersayang'.

Having said that, rasa macam susah la pulak nak capai. Just look at the list of topics below that I have missed to update or complete since the last 1 or 2 (or maybe 3) years!

Not necessarily in chronological order:
1) Visit to Istanbul
2) Moonlight rendevouz with Kak Teh & Awang Goneng
3) Loi-loi kratong in Phuket
4) My twins - in loving memory
5) Abang Idin's new home away from home (boarding school)
6) The boys' birthdays
7) Mother's days
8) Father's days
9) Ahli Majlis Tertinggi get together & gatherings
10) Boys' swimming lesson
11) Alisya's arrival
12) Alisya & jaundice
12) Alisya's cukur jambul & aqiqah
12) Hafiz's first day in Yr 1 (oii... dia dah Tahun 3!!!)
13) Ameer's first day inYr 1
14) Obituary : Tompok
15) Cuti-cuti Malaysia
16) Hafiz & Ameer - Bye-bye training wheels
17) Ayah's project "Bumi Hijau"
18) My hand in the kitchen - a pancake it should be ...
19) Hari Rayas...
20) New year's eve

and many more.....

If only I could turn back time.

There is this saying, if there is a will, there is a way.

But there is also this saying, the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. *

Looks like I've got to balance the above two. So that hopefully, this blog won't be that dusty in this new year moving forward.

Only time can tell.

Meanwhile, it is still not too late to wish all of you a very happy new year!

Salam
Ibu

* Garfield said that. hahaha....

Aqiqah & Cukur Jambul

2009-12-12T03:14:00.009+08:00

We missed to have it on the 7th day as baby Alisya was still under observation at home - recovering from jaundice.

Couldn't do it immediately after confinement either; for some other reasons I can't remember (surely not good enough a reason, else I would've remembered).

Couldn't have it during the recent Raya Haji break because Atok was scheduled to undergo for his eye surgery around the same time. He wouldn't be able to read his kitab berzanji and hence who to lead? Ayah? Err... I don't think "Syurga di wajahmu" is enlisted in the kitab.

And so if 'menurut kemampuan waktu', I figured we should have it during Awal Muharram: a long weekend, plenty of time for relatives & friends to come over, from near & afar. And plenty of time for them and us to recuperate thereafter. Besides, it coincides with the welcoming of the new year. Perfect isn't it? Can't be any better.

Somehow I did NOT pencil it in my calendar because ....errr...i know this sounds lame, but I was still on confinement when I thought of the above date - which means I was at home then, which means my ever so efficient assistant was not around to help update & block this date in my calendar for this glorious ceremony for the lil' princess. Being away from office had this inevitable impact of steering me away from the concept of real time. Is it that obvious that it was sheer laziness that held me back from jotting it down myself? (blame it on the raging post natal hormones.... and besides ....i was supposed to be on leave, wasn't I? got excuse maaa....hehehe).

Anyway, if it is to coincide with the new year, how could I forget it? It's not that difficult to remember. The radio and TV would surely be trumpeting the new year count down. So nothing to worry mate. All under control.

Or so I thought. But errkkkkk..... I was wrong.

For the past few weeks, in my mind, I kept associating it with the'new year'. It is the 'new year' indeed. Except that it is the new year of the muslim's hjrh calendar and NOT the gregarion calendar.

And the new year that I should really be planning for is less than 1 week away. NOT 19 days.

GULP!!!

My mind has played a trick on me.

Breathe in....
breathe out....
breathe in....
breathe out......

NOW on your mark, get set, GO!

Run Ibu, RUN!!! Catch that lamb if you can. And go find a pair of silvery scissors.

This sounds like I've thrown myself onto the pitch again, for the new season of an Amazing Race.

A race against time!

Salam
Ibu

Updates: Sunday 2.08 pm

Kambing dah tangkap & dah tambat ...phew.....

Nasi beriani gam secured.... phew.. phew.... (thanks Rynne! mmmuahhh...)

Cupcakes & tartlets ordered .... phew...phew....phew..... (thanks Zai! muahhhhss....)

When the going gets tough, the tough gets going. I am so fond of last minute sprint like this working under extreme pressure, or to borrow Kak Yatt's (No Time Off) term that I've just learned; "jamak ta'khir" stunt .... eyyy... hehehe.... sabor jer lah!

This and that

2009-11-13T11:16:00.004+08:00

Frankly... I don't quite like the title. It feels like I'm not focused. And I'm about to ramble.

But yeah... I am about to ramble. Hence, tak pe lah .... there's always an exception from time to time.

AYAH

Did he just got a windfall or durian runtuh that he's not telling me about? First the GPS. Then the waterjet (just the waterjet - not the 'ski' yet hehe..). Then the PC mobile speaker set. And he's also been talking about upgrading his handphone. He's even contemplating on the k-ok set like our friend TAB owns.

Apakah?

Isyyyhhh.... Musykil ni!

Anyway... it's his money la kan? But of course I did remind him - Bang, jgn lupa register for Qurban ya?

p/s Wouldn't it be nice for a change if once in a while kaum Ayah shop spontaneously for baby's clothings? Or baby's toys at least? I did say once in a while kan?

HAFIZ

He missed an entire section of his English final exam paper (name the body parts of an animal - an elephant). Berangan jer budak sorang ni. I always had to remind him of the F word. FOCUS!! And when I asked him how come he missed that one whole section worthy of 10 points, he replied "Sorry Ibu, I guess I forgot the F word". Hmm...pandai pulak dia menjawab. Anak siapa ni? And he quickly answered the questions - easy peasy full 10 marks - but way too late. The irony is, with whatever remaining marks, he actually tops his class for English.

And he tops his class for Science too. Sikit lagi full mark.

But can't say the same for BM. Jauh panggang dari api - though he has improved. He finally clinched a B. That I must say, alhamdulillah. It proves that nothing is impossible (other than me improving my culinary skill .... ahaks!!)

By the way, Hafiz ni 'alphabets friendly' (now that's new....) for the time being. He didn't just score straight A (Science & English so far) but also B (BM so far) and C (Bahasa Arab so far).

Awaiting Maths paper anxiously. Hopefully not D !!!!

Sony PSP is at stake here OK?

AMEER

He is definitely following my footsteps when it comes to 'shopping'. Everytime we go out, he surely wants to buy something. No matter how small or how cheap. One day it's a Bakugan. Next, Ben 10. Another, Bumble Bee or sedara mara Transformers yang lain2. Quite a natural negotiator this one. His typical modus operandi: He will first pick an expensive one. And when I say "No Ameer! This is too expensive!", he will quickly go into scanning mode and grab another one that is, say .... one fourth of the price. He will run back to me and while still gasping for air - he will grab my hand and look into my eyes like a little lost puppy; "Ni murah je Ibu!". Has he been reading my kedai runcit minutes of meeting on competitive pricing or what? Hmmm.....Anak siapa ni?

And with him accompanying me for my practice on 'detaching from Baby Alisya' this past week in preparation for returning to work - this is translated into a short 2 hour trip to downtown Rawang, hopping from Bintang to Parkson to Guardian to Popular Bookstore, etc, from time to time MUAHAHAHA....... you can imagine ntah apa ke benda Ameer has successfully ended up with. Each time using the same modus operandi as above and despite knowing this, I still fall for it. Aiyaaa....

Sometimes I managed to switch his picking to another useful item. Like a tomato plant seed. So now he's experiencing live farming. Only problem is, I now have to answer the same question every now and then, "When will my tomato plant grow, Ibu?" or "What time of the day today will it grow the tomato?" . Padahal baru 2-3 hari tanam. LOL!!!

Oh! By the way, I got myself some seeds too. Tapi yang menanamnya Bibi... no surprise there ya? And during dinner last 2 nights, Ameer asked, "Ibu.... when will your PLATYPUS grow?" Ayah & I both ... what platypus? He was quick to clarify " Alah... the seed, the plant!". Ohhhh.... PETOLA la Ameer.... PE-TO-LA!!! Bukan platypus.

He simply replied, "Whatever..."

Ameer oh Ameer....

ABANG IDIN

Safely tucked in his hostel. Still wanting us to visit him every weekend - which is kind of mutual. Each visit I have to ask him, "What did you lose this time?". Ada jer barang hilang. Track bottom. Belt. T-Shirt. I kept asking, eyyy... sekolah 'integrasi' (i.e. sekolah agama turned full boarding school) pun ada yang panjang tangan ke? His reply was, "Sekolah yang Integrasi bu. Not the students...) Hmmmm....Pandai jugak dia menjawab. Anak siapa ni? The last draw for me was a very new Adidas T which was meant as a reward for something. What was it? His TaeKwando tournament ke? Tak ingat. I said, that's it. No more branded t-shirts to be brought to school. Yang tu kalau nak, kalau Ibu mampu lagi la nak beli lepas ni, you can only wear them during school hols.

Surprisingly, he also agreed with that suggestion. Generally, they (the kids) suspected the makcik cleaner. Once they saw her wearing a track bottom belonging to one of his dorm mates. How did they know? Oii.... terpampang nombor pendaftaran dobi on the side of the track bottom. Alahai Makcik!!!

But as for the branded Ts - I think it may be some other kids la. Don't think the Makcik cleaner can fit into Abang Idin size XS t-shirts.

BABY ALISYA

Ohhh...si princess ni.... musyuk, musyuk 'sanjerrrr' ( a combi of 'sayang' plus 'manja' - a term coined by WanShana). Will have a dedicated entry on her soon :)

So there goes my rambling on this and that. Happy day ahead people!

7 week young

2009-11-08T12:20:00.004+08:00

Time swooshes by....

Baby Alisya has lost her newborn look and smell. But still constantly commanding attention like Ms Universe.

She now appears steady and alert when held upright. She smiles back at me more frequently now during our coos and gaga sessions. Oh.. she can pout her lips too, almost mimicking Amber Chia.

When on her tummy, she can lift her head and chest for short periods, almost as if she's doing mini-press ups. And as if sneering at me, "Look Ibu... it's not that hard to exercise, up one, up two, up three... see..... if only you try!" (Sigh..... me and my non materialising exercise routines.... hehe!)

I guess it won't be long before she can roll from back to front, or front to back.

By the way, I just discovered the weighing scale is actually out of order. All these while was thinking I'm one below 60. Until few nights ago when Ayah stepped on it and the scale still read one below 60. Yikessss! I'm doomed. 7 more days to go. Don't think I can get back into my office attire..... I should really join Alisya in her press ups soon.

Enjit Enjit Semut

2009-11-05T00:52:00.004+08:00

I am declaring WAR against those ants!!

How could they trespass our territory? Baby Alisya's territory to be exact.

She hardly cries (except for her feeding) and to hear her sudden outburst - and seeing those army of ants marching in the not so straight line in her crib really made my blood go upstairs.

How dare you terrorise and cause grievous hurt to my baby?!!

WAR I tell you. WAR!!!! (Pardon me.... just finished reading The Camel Club by David Baldacci... hehehe..... )

p/s Ayah said, must be the traces of the milk (my breast milk mind you!) that attracted the ants. Is it really that sweet? No wonder Ayah is on the watch-out-zone for diabetes now... hihihi...

Happy Birthday Ayah!

2009-11-03T08:05:00.006+08:00

Ayah turned 42 yesterday. True, only 42. Eventhough he can pass as nearing warga emas age judging from just his silver hair alone. That is if you only look at his hair la. He still carries with him his boyish look. Albeit with a few wrinkles here and there (and the grumpiness now and then... ekekeke!).

Happy Birthday, Abang! With much love.

I managed to grab tiny tots that the boys chose for him. Those are their birthday presents for Ayah.

Moi? I haven't bought any birthday present for him (yet). I have a good excuse; 'langkah tak berapa panjang' for the time being. Still mainly around Rawang town only. Here in Rawang, we have Parkson Ria, Popular bookstore, Giant supermarket, Bintang & Mydin department stores and NSK cash & carry. Tesco is still under construction and will only open in a month or two. Which means, nothing much of manly gadget offerings or IT gizmos (imagine Imbi Plaza or Low Yatt ok?) for consideration. No - the rows of hardware shops in Rawang that boast a wide variety of gardening tools, DIY equipment and the likes - do not count for Ayah. Those kind of backbreaking and sweat inducing tools are not for him. Unless of course if they have a DIY 'rocketeer' to make one elevate or fly in style? Don't think they have that. Not in Rawang.

There are the typical eating outlets like KFC, McDonald, Pizza Hut and some others like Secret Recipe, Delifrance and Bangi Kopitiam which I can drag him, I mean invite him, for a semi romantic meal for two. However, I'm sure I would keep looking at the watch thinking; 'alamak...baby dah bangun ke?' or 'baby nak nenen ke?'. That would further discount the semi romantic meal for two.

Home delivery pizza for the whole family maybe? Except I probably only have RM50 in my purse. The last time I asked, the delivery boy didn't carry any hand held credit card swipe machine. Banyak nya excuse I can come up with kan?

I'm sure a hearty home cooked meal would be lovely, some would say. I'm sure it would be. But I don't know when that will happen in this home. So husbands from those homes with such lovely home cooked meal - be thankful. The ones that I can manage, like the ever so sedap and finger licking sambal telur that only Ayah & I enjoy (hahaha), I already cooked last weekend. In hindsight, I should have spared that for his birthday. So no special home cooked meal for Ayah from Ibu for his birthday.

Some would probably say ... alah.... why the fuss for just one day? It happens every year anyway.

I don't know about you. But I sure do make some fuss for the birthdays of my loved ones. I do, under normal circumstances, make the effort to make the one day of the year a little bit extra special for them. No matter how busy. No matter how tight financially (like this time in particular - when the tax man just sent a love letter to me saying I owe him some more still when ironically just a few months back he mailed me quite a fat cheque for overpayment.... what larrrr..... why chase me? I remit every month ma.... Chase larrrr those unscrupulous filthy rich non tax declaring business people out there!)

Having said that, to be honest - actually .... there are some windows of opportunity that I could grab to go buy him something or organise a mini birthday do with the boys (eh! and the little girl too!! ) like we usually do, if I really want to. That's it! If I really want to.

Does that mean I do not really want to - make the usual fuss - for Ayah's birthday this year?

Why?

Haiyaa..... I think I know why lah. It's very clear in my mind why this is happening this year. For me to know, not required for him to find out. (My good friend WanShana would be so not agreeable with me on this one. She would probably say that I tend to hide my feelings and that I probably should open up and tell how I feel more often. Yaaaaa right!!! Like I can do that? Feelings..... Aiya... cannot lah.... I'm certified incompetent in that department!)

I feel sad, really. For allowing myself to NOT making enough effort for Ayah's birthday fuss this year. Then again, I am fully aware why I indulge myself with not really wanting to do much of anything for his birthday this year. We didn't even gather around him at bed time to sing the birthday song. How pathetic is that?! Sad but true.

Alah... blame it on mild post partum lousy mood la senang ek? Takkan Ayah nak query lebih2 pulak? Scientifically acceptable what - though not scientifically proven why just yet. (Whether post partum mood is the real reason or not is a different story la kan?)

Eh! Hang on a minute! Maybe I can tie a big pink ribbon or pink bow around Baby Alisya (after fully bathed and dolled up in pink, dah wangi2 semua tu.....) and hand her to Ayah for him to cuddle? Hey.... that would be quite different. Ya.... maybe I would do that.

Now.......where (and how) can I find a big, gigantic, humongous pink ribbon or pink bow in a jiffy before he returns from work tonite? Tell me.

Salam
Ibu

6 weeks young

2009-10-29T16:20:00.007+08:00

Before she turns 16, I might as well get cracking with whatever that I have on my mind.

So let's hear the drum roll...... Introducing...... Our new pride and joy, our latest addition to the Rawang clan.....

Nor Diana Alisya binti Sabarudin
Born 4:57pm on 16th September 2009 at Ampang Puteri Hospital
Birthweight 2.88kg
(Photo at 4 days young)

6 weeks have gone and what have I discovered? Nothing can really fully prepare one for the reality of having a newborn baby. At least that's how I feel. The first few weeks of Baby Alisya's life seem like a chaotic whirlwind of new experiences and sensations, as we all get to know this new little princess that have come to join our family.

She's my fourth child no doubt, but it has been 6 years since I last took care of something so tiny and so fragile yet so powerful as to attract the whole wide world's attention to itself and that's her and her alone. I had to learn, unlearn and re-learn all over again on how to breastfeed, to nourish, to bathe, to change the nappies .....

( Oppss... I think I hear a siren... Do you hear it too? I think it's Baby Alisya's wailing for her feed. Gotta go .... 'nenen' time. I'll be back.... )

Salam
Ibu

p/s You get the drift? I wasn't lying....

4 weeks gone

2009-10-15T12:09:00.004+08:00

And I still have not given any update or further detail re the little princess.

I want to do it with style, wrapped with words of hope, prayers, wisdom and perhaps, upload some photos too. Itu yg sampai la ni tak hapdet-hapdet lagi tuh.... kakakaka.... what laaarrrr...

I promise I will do it. I must... Ni kan "Cerita Ibu"... Esok2 dah nyanyuk, tak ingat.... camner? But not today la... ekeke

Today, I just want to share or rather confess ... that I have not managed to do much since the last 4 weeks. Other than taking care of the lil' one and bonding with her. The rest of the items in my checklist are pretty much still left unchecked.

The few trivial ones that I have somehow managed to do....

Started "Camel Club" (by David Baldacci), at page 100++ now, 500++ more pages to go. ( I can now recall what OCD means - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder - thanks 'David'... ehehehe...)

Fixed 'jelly' (ready mix, just pour hot water & stir & store in the fridge for some time) for Hafiz. Suka dierrr....

Made some "ais krim malaysia" (you know, the one in long plastic tube tuh!) - sunquick orange flavour, for the boys. Maka semut2 pun sangat sukalah merayap2 menghidu sisa2 aiskrim yg merata2 depan TV tu - much to the annoyance of Bibi.

Removed all my maternity clothing from the wardrobe. But they are just lumped on a side table infront of the wardrobe!! Kat mana nak simpan nih? urghh... Sungguh berselerak.... Anyone or do you know anyone with buns in the oven wanting some maternity clothing? Email me....

And...

And?

No more really! That's about it....

My house is in a mess. I am in a mess.

Oh my!! Teruk nya.... And I invited some friends over for BBQ some days soon? What was I thinking!!????

SOS !

Profile updated

2009-09-28T14:22:00.002+08:00

Taking one baby step at a time ....

First things first - update the profile.

SO now it reads, bla...bla.... mother of FOUR (previously three) ...bla..bla.... who kisses her CHILDREN (previously sons) ....

Membawa maksud ..... ?

Salam :)
Ibu

Still mother of three

2009-09-14T23:13:00.002+08:00

My introductory profile on the right hand column cannot be updated yet.

Yup.... still mother of three, for the time being.

It must be very cozy 'in there', kan? Syiok dia dok dalam tu.

And yeah.... my initial plan to update week by week... no, I knew that would be too ambitious; perhaps month by month - more like it .... even that tak menjadi. hehehe......

And I can't be updating hour by hour pulak by now kan? The countdown? Ekekeke.... konon.

Will update soon with some reflections hopefully on how the last +/- 9 months have been treating me.....

Meanwhile, say a lil' prayer that everything turns out well ya? Ma kasihhhhhh.... berkat doa di bulan Ramadhan ni kan?

Salam,
Ibu

p/s Nama pun belum decide lagi.

School Closure

2009-08-04T23:12:00.002+08:00

Just got a phone call from Abang Idin; his school has to be closed with immediate effect and all students must be picked up before 12 midnight.

Seems that 60 (or was it 80?) students were 'suspected' to have symptoms of Influenza A H1N1. Ramai tu.....

And for a boarding school - with students studying & living in close proximity with each other - I suppose, we'd be safe than sorry.

But to pick up the kids before 12 midnight tonite? Lucky thing we are just 15-20 mins drive away. Kesian la pulak kat sapa2 yg jauh-jauh tu. Tried to call my friend, Eyerin - just in case she needs me to pick up his son too for tonite - couldn't get thru la pulak. Must try again shortly.

I'm at home actually - kan I'm in the "high risk" category? So Ayah has advised me to just stay at home.

So for the next 1 week - all three musketeers would be at home. Dah pesan kat Bibi - need to manage their hygiene routines in "bazooka" style. No mercy!

Semuga kita semua dijauhkan lah dari penyakit2 yg sedang menular ni..... Amin.

Take care everyone.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder

2009-07-16T21:04:00.003+08:00

He doesn't call me that often any more...

Not like he used to....

To ask how I am doing ...

To ask on some little things no matter how insignificant or trivia ...

To share bits & pieces of daily happenings from his side ...

I guess, he must have found his footing 'elsewhere' ...

I guess he now have other new found mates ...

I guess he now have other priorities and other matters to attend to ...

Wasn't this what I once told him so?

So why am I now the one fretting over it?

Oh well..... what can I do.... absence does make the heart grow fonder.

After all .... he is my first born.

Oh how I miss my eldest son, Abang Idin!

Still... I wish him all the best over there (yeah, just 15 - 20 mins drive from home anyway ....) and hope he will make the best out of the opportunity made available to him.

Salam
Ibu

p/s Pesanan penaja: Tak score kalu next term exam, siap badan ye anak ku!!!

Back to ...... BM ?!

2009-07-12T20:20:00.002+08:00

Kejap English, kejap BM. Eh... bukan, can be back to the other languages too now.

Then to have it re-introduced in 2012, including those already completed some years in English half way thru? Dey gomen ..... u want to 'reverse', you start fresh from Year One la.....

Shortsighted betul lah.

Semuga negara kita dapat menghasilkan lebih ramai sasterawan negara la esok-esok ye? Hmmmmphhhh........

Feelings

2009-07-10T19:58:00.002+08:00

Every feeling is a valid feeling. To the feeler of course.

And today, I am feeling:
1. Taken for granted
2. Not cared for
3. Easily dispensable by someone

All because how I was or rather still am being treated by someone.

This is my half of the picture. Whether this is what that someone intended to make me feel by the action (or rather lack of it) is a separate issue altogether.

This is what I feel. And I have every right to feel how I want to feel.

I am not much of a feeler I've said before. And so when I am feeling something and actually admitting the feeling, that someone can be rest assured I am really, really, really feeling it.

Oh well... don't blame it on my 7 months pregnancy raging hormones. My hormones and the bun in the oven are doing just fine. This I can be very sure because none of my work is negatively affected at all.

Have I made my feelings known to that someone?

You bet I have.

Did that help?

Not at all. In fact, it only helped confirm the feelings. DARN!!!!

If that someone ever care to read this blog, then by all means, please be reminded ; "jangan salahkan ibu mengandung" if I start to behave so unlike me hereafter.

I am extremely pissed off okay? Don't try to pacify me at this very minute.

Don't forget. Every feeling is a valid feeling - to the feeler of course.

So to that someone - just back off!! Just let me "savour" this very feeling.

Ohhhh... syioknya....... allowing myself to indulge in my own feelings.

Hmmm... puas hati dah lepas geram!

Ibu laaa...
Siapa lagi?

Officially Above 40

2009-07-03T19:33:00.002+08:00

Yesterday I officially became 'above' 40. Yes - years of age.

Surprisingly, I didn't feel "depressed" being ushered into the carat club.

Is it all in the mind?

I reflect on the journey of my life thus far, and I feel blessed. I must admit that I might have gone through some mind talking in the past, questioning or rather imagining how my life could have turned up today if I had done this or done that differently .....

In the end, I came to the conclusions that everything happens for a reason. Sometimes we may be able to know the answers immediately, a lot of times we also have to accept that we may not be able know the answers or the rationale pronto and that only Allah knows best and hence, redha ....

I'm sure it would be more interesting for reading if I can substantiate or cite some examples of what I meant. But I know for a fact some of the examples may be controversial too, and may hurt the feelings of some people who I know or people whom I don't know, or hurt the feelings of my loved ones even. So yeah..... I'm playing it safe and not be an open book here.

Do I wish some things about me or about my life would change moving forward?

Sure I do!

And no... it does not involve me targetting to become a Datin Seri someday. Nenek Berseri maybe.... hahahaha......

But yeahhh.... sure I want some changes in my life moving forward.

I want to commit more to practice Islam as my Ad Din - way of life - rather than just complying to the basic tenets.

I want to spend more quality time with my family.

I want to love and to be loved more - for the right reasons.

I want to be able to guide & coach my children & my family more wisely, without necessarily imposing strict standards on the ultimate outcome solely based on short term worldly desires.

I still want to be able to enjoy myself though but with just life simple pleasures, nothing complicated, thank you.

I want to continue to be able to vision the larger picture, the light at the end of the tunnel; and be liberated by the choices that I make towards those visions; rather than be stuck in the box with the cynical toughts of me being the victim succumbing to other people's pressures without having a choice to make the changes for myself or my family.

In short, there's still quite a lot more that I want to achieve moving forward. Both for "here" as well as preparation for the "here after".

One thing for sure: I want to grow older wisely and gracefully. Accepting what has happened and what will happen is in the hand of the Almighty. Yet with me having the power and the choice to shape & steer how I think, feel and decide for things that matter.

So yeah.... I feel happy .... so happy birthday to me, indeed!!

p/s I do have a choice to make Ayah realise how hurtful it can be for a wife to have to keep wishing that her birthday present is forthcoming from her hubby without her having to poke, remind, urge, demand, threaten or twist his hubby's arm, don't I ? And yet I still do have the choice to just keep it bottled up in me too - with the same rationale, oh...it's the thought that counts, right? The choice would be mine I know. But what would you do?

Selingan: Karan oh karan!

2009-06-15T19:51:00.003+08:00

Received the latest electricity bill yesterday.

Ayah got an electrifying shock that almost turned his hair from silver to blue.

RM600++ kegunaan semasa!

What the ...... @#$%&!!! ( I can buy at least 3 pairs of good shoes on sale woi....)

Later in the evening, when Hafiz & Ameer were ready to call it a day, they had an easy approval to sleep in Ayah & Ibu's master bedroom.

They thought because we missed them too (they were literally forced to sleep in their own room during the hols).

Truth was? Heh.... save sikit karan, kurang satu aircond, kurang satu lampu tangga, kurang satu night light. Not sure if this can be a long term solution though.

Karan oh karan .......

School Hols: Boys run amok in Rawang

2009-06-03T16:00:00.002+08:00

Surprised? Of course I shouldn't be, right? What else should I expect when 3 boys are home "alone" with no adult supervision (minus bibi).

Monday & Tuesday gone. The house seemed to be in good order from the naked eye.

Tapi sebenarnya...... dah ada collateral damage!!

Monday afternoon, Ameer called to report on the mischievousness of Abang Hafiz who wanted to take out the big water barrel ( alah... big plastic drum/container yg standby to be filled up with water in case of 'catuan air' tu..... ) from the guest room's toilet. It is a big 'drum' ok! And so in the attempt to bring that thing out, the mirror & glass shelf got knocked by it .... apa lagi....pecah la cermin segala.....

Yg dia nak pi bawak keluar mende tu apa hal? Macam tak cukup toys!!!! Grrrr...... He has not been able to answer this question still. ( Kalau boring sangat, pegi la kejar kucing ke, tangkap belalang ke..... ) That was Hafiz.

Tuesday (semalam la kan?), it was Hafiz's turn to report on Ameer's misadventure pulak.

Ntah apa cerita hujung pangkal satu hapah pun Ibu tak faham but the conclusion? Ameer has broken the liquid soap/shampoo dispenser in the boys' room toilet pulak. Ameer put up a defence, bukan dia buat, that thing pecah sendiri. Yeahhhh right!!!

Aiyayayaya......

Baru 2 hari !!!

Who would be calling to report on whom this afternoon. Nanti kita tunggu liputan lintas langsung.

Salam,
Ibu

Ace for Ameer

2009-05-28T13:23:00.006+08:00

Ameer was having high fever during his exam week recently and ended up taking the papers 3 days later.

His kindy teacher was quite worried for him, because he was still recuperating and not quite as chirpy and bouncy as normal.

I was the one who pacified the teacher, it's ok, no worries la teacher..... it's just mid term exam.... hehehe....

(In case you are wondering..... ha'ah... kindy kat Rawang ni got mid-term exam! Don't play-play! 5 subjects altogether; English, BM, Science, Maths & Arts).

He brought home his results earlier this week...

Si kenit tu, yg nak jadi Ghobot Bumble Bee, Ninja & entah apa-apa lagi..... who was still not fully recuperated from his fever when he took his exam, scored straight As surprisingly.

Oh well.... almost.... A- for Arts (agaknya dia kaler rambut orang warna purple lagi kot?)

100% for 2 subjects & 98% for another two. I looked at the papers with 98% and noticed that the points deducted were insignificant ,e.g. number "2" tulis senget sikit, and "9", the tiang tak cukup panjang. Oh well... the teacher has got to find some errors lah kan? Takkan nak bagi dia straight 100% semua kot? So no big deal la..... Bagi chan kat cikgu dia.

It was a pleasant surprise indeed for both Ayah & Ibu... Alhamdulillah....

A nervous alert for Hafiz (who's sitting for his exam this week only).

A relief for his teacher. (She's taking him to McDonalds this Sunday. But I think she's taking them all out, not just Ameer) .

As a reward, I bought him Mentos (yes, the candy, orange flavour) & a white t-shirt with Bumble Bee (the ghobot) print from Tesco. Cheap-cheap one only.

He was happy enough, and said "Nak jumpa Anis nanti, boleh pakai baju ni". HAHAHAHA....
No need to guess hard what (or rather who) his motivator is - to score straight As.

Salam,
Ibu

Tentang 'Murah Rezeki' dan 'Anak'

2009-05-22T21:08:00.002+08:00

This post has got no relation what so ever to my current mak buyung condition.

Rather, a random sharing of what I heard over the radio this morning.

The station? IKIM. Ayah's choice as set alarm/wake up call every morning after the azan.

I don't know how (or rather choose not to know how) to 'operate' the radio. So I let it be.

And I thought, ok what pagi2 dengar IKIM? (Dalam kereta lain channel....hicks!!!)

Walau pun sekadar setengah jam dalam rutin bersiap di pagi hari sebelum ke tempat kerja - every little helps. Walau sebesar zarah. Indeed.

*******************************************************************************
Pagi tadi berkenaan anak & rezeki.

Siapa pernah minta doa murah rezeki? Tipu lah kan kalau kita jawab tak pernah sekali pun!

For most of us, paling busuk pun at least sekali - mesti pernah memanjatkan doa untuk dimurahkan rezeki.

Tapi ramai juga terlupa nak sambung, "biar lah rezeki itu dari rezeki yg halal dan baik......"
(peringatan untuk diri ibu sendiri.....)

Pagi tadi kat radio, Ustaz tu berkongsi cerita, masa sessi kaunseling untuk ibu bapa .... ada ibu bapa yang mengadu nasib kat Ustaz....

"Tak tau kenapa dan apa silap kami sehingga anak kami ni nakal / jahat / kurang ajar / biadap / ponteng sekolah / gagal periksa / hisap ganja / minum arak / seks rambang / etc / etc / etc .... Pelajaran & tuisyen, kami utamakan. Kelas agama & mengaji, kami upah khas ustaz datang mengajar. Buku/peralatan sekolah lengkap. Makanan lazat dan sihat. Duit belanja sekolah secukupnya. Pengangkutan terurus. Rumah selesa. Waktu berkualiti / percutian bersama keluarga pun kami tak lupa. Kami sendiri pun sebagai ibu bapa, rasanya menunjukkan contoh yang elok kepada anak kami (puasa, solat, mengaji, budi bahasa, etc, etc ). Tapi kenapa pulak dia jadi macam ni, perangai tak senonoh? Kami buntu Ustaz. Tak tau apa silap kami."

Apabila ditanya tentang perkara2 atau contoh2 buruk yang mungkin ada dilakukan oleh ibu bapa tersebut, hampir kesemuanya dinafikan sekeras2 nya.

Setelah puas soal selidik latar belakang ibu bapa, secara zahir & logiknya, Ustaz berpendapat memang tidak masuk akal kenapa anak tersebut sanggup berperangai sebegitu sehingga tidak menyenangkan hati & perasaan ibu bapa tersebut.

Tapi kebingungan terurai apabila satu soalan cepumas diajukan kepada ibu bapa tersebut.

"Macam mana dengan sumber pendapatan tuan & puan? Adakah dari punca rezeki yg halal dan baik?"

Kedua ibu bapa tersebut terus terdiam. Membisu seribu bahasa.

Pertanyaan di ulang sekali lagi.

Berdesing bagai halilintar menembusi gegendang telinga kedua ibu bapa tersebut, menyedarkan mereka dari lamunan mereka selama ini.

Walaupun pada zahirnya mereka itu nampak sama sahaja seperti kebanyakan ibu bapa muslim moden yg lain; dari kalangan keluarga yang baik2, berpendidikan sederhana-tinggi, kerjaya yang bagus dan boleh diterima di mata masyarakat, bekerja dari pagi sampai petang, TETAPI soalan Ustaz yang terakhir itu membuatkan mereka teringat kepada perkara-perkara lain yang telah terlepas pandang dari mata kasar mereka sebelum ini.

Mereka teringat akan ......

Habuan dari kontraktor/konsultan samada yang bentuk kewangan secara tunai atau caruman tetap ke akaun semasa setiap bulan ataupun yang berbentuk barangan yang berharga mahupun pakej percutian, malahan juga bantuan mengubahsuai kediaman atau perkhidmatan membaikpulih kenderaan tanpa sebarang caj yang diterima atau diminta tanpa segan silu.....

Sogokan wang dari pembekal agar proses penyemakan dan pembayaran bil dipercepatkan dari tempoh yang sepatutnya tanpa sebarang dokuman pengesahan .....

Tuang kerja dalam lingkungan 1-2 jam setiap hari. Antaranya hasil himpunan waktu dari keluar sarapan, tengahari, minum petang lebih dari waktu yang dihadkan, melayari internet selain dari tujuan rasmi bekerja, berborak bergossip dengan kawan sepejabat atau melalui telefon, membelek majalah hiburan yang tiada kena mengena dengan soal kerja - kesemuanya tanpa rasa bersalah dan tanpa rasa perlu untuk menggantikan semula jam-jam yang terhimpun itu ......

Membuat tuntutan perjalananan yang lebih dari had / polisi yang ditetapkan ......

Membuat tuntutan palsu seperti 'reimbursement of claims / out of pocket expenses' untuk menjamu & melayan klien, walhal membawa family pergi makan2 di restoran mana-mana, membeli hadiah untuk klien atau rakan niaga ketika urusan melawat kilang di luar negara, walhal membeli cenderahati untuk sanak saudara dan kawan2 sepejabat, meminta peniaga menaikkan harga yang ditulis dalam resit pembelian agar boleh membuat tuntutan lebih walhal kos sebenar yang dibelanjakan jauh lebih rendah......

Dan sebagainya.......

Dan sebenarnya perkara-perkara diatas jika dikira semula dan ditukar ke bentuk wang tunai, jumlahnya secara purata bulanan mungkin sahaja melebihi dari jumlah gaji yang rasmi tercetak di slip gaji ibu bapa tersebut.

Sang ibu bapa itu tersentak dari mimpi buruk mereka.

Kelu lidah untuk berkata.

Tapi terasa seperti sebilah pisau yang tajam menikam menembusi jantung, disusuli dengan perahan limau nipis ke atas luka tikaman yang masih berdarah itu.

Mereka tersedar, rupa-rupanya anak mereka sebenarnya selama ini bukanlah dibesarkan dengan sumber pendapatan yang boleh dikira sebagai rezeki yang halal dan baik .......

Ustaz bertanya secara umum, siapa yang tidak mahukan murah rezeki? Rezeki yang melimpah ruah?

Kalau kita berdoa dan berusaha bersungguh, insyaALLAH akan dikabulkan.

TAPI kita jangan lupa berusaha keras dan tekad berdoa agar rezeki yg murah dan melimpah ruah yang dikurniakan kepada kita untuk menampung dan menyara keluarga kita, adalah dari sumber yang halal dan baik.

Justeru, agar darah yang mengalir dan daging yang memejal dalam tubuh kita, suami/isteri kita, anak-anak kita, cucu-cucu kita juga akan terbit dan terbentuk dari sumber rezeki yang halal dan baik; tanpa syak dan ragu-ragu.

********************************************************************
Ada kala balasan untuk perbuatan kita di"bayar" tunai depan mata.

Persoalannya, samada kita sedar atau tidak?

Kita manusia. Mudah lupa Mudah lalai. Mudah leka.

Catatan hari ini sekadar ingat mengingat kan sesama kita, lebih-lebih lagi peringatan untuk diri ibu sendiri, ke jalan yang lebih lurus dan benar dan bercahaya.

Semuga dapat kita fikir-fikirkan bersama dan mengambil pengajaran yang sewajarnya.

Tepuk dada tanya selera.

Wassalam,
Ibu

1 minute fame

2009-05-19T19:10:00.002+08:00

Yeah.... so I might have secured 1 minute worth of newspaper reading time from some people today.... hehehe....

Half page, above the men's shoes. Front page online (snapshot summary). hmmm .... not bad an allocation.

Sure enough I received some feedbacks via sms, email & phone calls from my "fans" ( err... and one via blog comment too :).

Some actually alerted by me in the first place. Hahaha.... gila glamer aper?

But let me share with you some of the feedbacks, which I thought are enlightening :

1. "Your pix looks good" ( from someone outside "fan club" - I know, pay awards is due in 2 mths time, so no surprise....)

2. "Very proud of u la... terus lari masuk resource centre" (from hubby's niece, yes - stay sweet dear, I promise I shall sponsor the well known "Grade A Choice" eggs (bunga telur) for your wedding)

3. "Dah nampak this am. 'Hubby' pointed out!" (from one Majlis Tertinggi member - even the hubbies are keeping eyes on us!! Alamak....)

4. "Alamak mem, kenapa tak pakai baju lip-lap masa interview? And what retails skills are u talking about? Maybe boleh try? " (from another Majlis Tertinggi member - see? eyes for details... bling-bling yg dia cari....sah MT!!)

5. "U ni, posing pun macam debator ... " ( from yet another Majlis Tertinggi member - hello friend, I tak posing pun tau.... dia 'tangkap' during live interview. So sejak azali style cam tu la agaknyer?)

6. "Wah. Aku dah baca article kau..... Besaunya gambar! Tak nampak perut pun!" ( who would dare to comment like that if not another Majlis Tertinggi member? Kah!kah! kah! Aiya Mdm! Kalau nampak perut, at least orang tau la I am not naturally tembam ok? Rather buatan orang tu..... )

7. "I saw oredi. Waaaaaa memang ada gaya. Was trying to spot the ring on d finger la...." ( tidak syak lagi, obviously has to come from another Majlis Tertinggi member. Tak boleh buat apa la kan kita ni semua? rings, bling-bling, gemuk vs kurus... that shall continue to be our key highlights of any day's discussion..... hehehe..... Mdm, for the record, not the Mont Blanc ring)

8. "Sis, cantik gambar you, Well done" ( from my junior Srikandi. errr... thank you sis. But well done on the news coverage ker? Or well done on the photo editing to cover up my pimples? Musykil nih...)

9. "Mdm, read ur interview today. Good job!" ( from ex-colleague... thanks dear! Ber-madam madam pulak you! hehehe)

10. "Glamer... front page, btimes. Ada staff dah tanya" ( from non other than my no 1 fan, my hubby. hehehe... tell your staff, if they want to apply, they can send their CVs through you. Moonlight as recruitment agent, bley? )

Cukup la kan..... 1 minute fame, as I said.

Orang lain keluar masuk paper saban hari tak ambik pusing pon! Kita sekali sekala, terasa la glamer dak? hehehehe.....

Itu lah cerita ibu hari ni.

The real message of the news article ? Ah... serious stuff like that, next time lah :)

Cheers!

I cheated .......

2009-05-14T19:13:00.002+08:00

The temptation too strong.

The curiosity uncontrollable.

The waiting game unbearable.

And so I cheated.

I found the answer online - on American Idol official website.

OHHHHOHOHOHOHOOOO....... Sedihnya....... My favourite has been booted out.

Ayah, you have to console me tonite. I am sad, very very sad .......

p/s I confessed to Ayah last night, "Sorry lah Bang, I so minat kat this Idol. But I think one of the reasons is because he resembles you in some ways, really....." ( cover line, cover line, hehe!). Last weekend when we were in England (err... the Optical), I even asked Ayah to choose a frame like 'his'. Maybe after this I should ask Ayah to start 'simpan jambang' like him. Uhuhuhu.....

Mother's Day Treat

2009-05-10T11:59:00.003+08:00

"Ibu, this weekend, you just relax okay? It's Mother's Day weekend", said Hafiz.

"Cool ..." I said, "Are you boys going to have a special treat for me this weekend?"

"I will massage your body & feet!" volunteered Hafiz, motioning the karate-chop that he usually rendered for my back & shoulder.

"I will draw cartoons for you - lots & lots of cartoon!", said Ameer.

"Good! And who's going to cook for me?", I threw in the twist.

"Err... Masak?!!! Ala..... Hafiz tak tau masak la Ibu...." he replied in a very serious tone.

"Nanti takut kena api la Ibu!" added Ameer.

Ayah either pura-pura tak dengar or chose tak nak dengar kot.

" Hmmm..... okaylah.... tak pe, nanti dah besar esok, belajar masak sedap2 & masak untuk Ibu okay? "

"OKAY!!!!" they boys cheered.

Then suddenly Hafiz asked, "Err... apa yang senang nak masak, Ibu?"

Alamak.... he asked me, this Ibu? Apa yang senang nak masak? Oh oh.... in trouble!

"Err...... Maggi maybe?!" came my instant reply, as instant as the 'dish' itself.

"HA AH LAH IBU!!!! Yess.... I think I can cook for you on Mother's Day!!!! Yes, I will cook something for you!", replied Hafiz jubilantly.

"AMEER pun!!!" yg kenit pun joined sama.

" Ye ke? Okay... surprise me then.... "

*******************************

This morning - I woke up to the chirpy & melodic greetings of "Happy Mother's Day, Ibu!" from Hafiz, followed by "Here's your 'Breakfast In Bed' ....."

The menu?
Maggi Hot Cup chicken flavour
Jelly beans in a lovely apple shape candy container

Courtesy of Hafiz & Ameer ........ cute kan? So sweet.....

Thank you, my lil darlings. You are my world too!

HAPPY MOTHERS' DAY TO ALL MOMMIES OUT THERE ....

To KC

2009-04-30T22:49:00.002+08:00

Bibi dah lama "return" to work daaaaaaa......

Kalau tak, harus I fly all the way to her kampung to extradite her.

She was on "vacation" for two long months, which allowed me to fully embrace the meaning of "penantian itu satu penyiksaan". LOL!!!!

I'm useless around the house without her - that's for sure. I can only layan the kids, feed the cats, set up pretty colour coordinated table setting and the likes..... oh yes, I can do the refilling of bath & shower gel & replenishment of tooth paste & shampoo too. hehehehe.... but really, that's about all.

I tend to write long typically when I'm officially on leave from work or on weekends.

All other snippets here & there are some stolen moments on working nights, if I manage to wrestle some time away from the kids.

Like this one ....

So KC, sadly for me, you can lower down that tabik spring vono now :(

Let the lessons begin ....

2009-04-26T09:51:00.004+08:00

It's never quite easy agreeing on how to deliver a mutually agreed objective with Ayah. We often get into debates, which is my favourite! But with Ayah as the sparring partner, the debates are pretty 'calm' and 'silent' (remember Paula Abdul's song "Opposite Attracts"?).

"It's RMxxx per month per head."
"Ohhhh.. too expensive........"
(followed by silence.....)

"Ha... there's a cheaper one at Perangsang Templer Park!"
"Aisey.... too far lah....."
(followed by silence .....)

"4pm weekends?"
"Clash with Abang Idin's visiting hours, don't u think?"
(followed by silence ....)

"How about week nights?"
"Hmmm.... tak sempat kot? Clash with Kumon. Unless you can come home earlier on those week nights?"
(followed by silence....)

"So shouldn't he start now?"
"If he howls 'NAK IBUUUUUUUU' in the classes, how?"
(followed by silence.....)

And this calm & silent debates went on and on for weeks, I think months now. But deyyyy thamby.... silent & calm camana pon, perempuan mana yg buleh tahan with such prolonged non commitment? Bukannya nak suruh kawen lagi satu pon! (Now that's a bad comparison! I don't think men would defer deciding to spring into action with such offer from their wives if that really happens! hissh.... simpang, simpang!)

What are these bigger than world matters to decide at hand? To commit pronto?

Hehehe... Just swimming lessons for Hafiz & Ameer, and Tae Kwan Do lessons for Ameer.

See.... bukan ler apa sangat kan? But waiting for my supposedly better half to decide and commit, MAK OIIIIIII!!!! Mengalahkan menunggu keputusan cabinet & jemaah menteri to decide on minimum wage in Malaysia.

So I decided to just take the plunge!

And yesterday, while Ayah was away attending an office function (corporate social responsibility) at Tasik Perdana, the Home Minister at Emerald Rawang proceeded to sign on the dotted line to :

1. Enroll the boys in the much deferred swimming lessons under the supervision of Coach Danny at Duta Palms club in Bandar Country Homes (which is only 3 traffic lights away from Emerald) in the morning, and

2. Enroll Ameer to join Hafiz in Tae Kwan Do lessons with the same Master Prabha at Green Park Rawang (which is also only 3 traffic lights and 1 roundabout away from Emerald) in the afternoon.

Given time & distance equal money too .... I concluded that, hehh, seposen dua posen differences in fees, takde makna nyer kalau berpeluh2 kena drive sana sini!

Yeah... of course this Ibu had to go through those cringe moments with Ameer grabbing & clinging tightly to my legs before entering the pool, forcing me to move inch by inch bow-leggedly to get him near the pool edge. Thank goodness, the coach was very good indeed - living up to his reputation as silver & bronze medallists coach. (Gold? not yet... tunggu my boys kot? Who knows....) Just as I got near the edge, he grabbed Ameer and carried him piggy back style to the middle of the pool. It was just the wading pool to start with, but which was still quite deep for the already freaked-out Ameer. In my heart I was like - Oh My God!!! Habih la anak aku!!!! I walked away quickly to the other side of the pool, took my seat in the shades and pretended to read (yeah... with the book covering my face! Hide away la konon... hahaha). And surprise! surprise! It worked out just fine. When I lowered down the book a few minutes later, I saw Ameer already had his goggles on and hanging on (to his life!!!) to the pool's edge by himself. Shortly after, they were already into the holding of breath under water and the water kicking drills.

Phewwww........ so it was a case of 'forced trust' professionally crafted. In a crisis moment like that (being in the middle of the pool where his feet could not touch the base), Ameer had just got to trust the sole adult within his reach, i.e. Coach Danny and hang on to him for his dear life - instead of hoping for his Ibu (who was gone from his sight in seconds) to save him. Coach Danny pesan; there is a technique to do it, ok? Don't simply pandai-pandai try on other people.... ekekeke.....

Hafiz, on the other hand, hmmphhh... macam itik jumpa air!!!

I continued ducking my head behind the book, forcing my over-rated motherly concern to be taken over by the gripping tale of the female suffering and endurance under the Taliban's rule penned by Khaled Hosseini.

At about 5 past 11, I heard the two boys singing the familiar tune, THANK YOU COACH DANNY! Hahhh...alas.... I pun dah berpeluh2 masa tu. The boys smiled towards me. Ameer put up his right hand up in the sky, ready to give me a high 5 from afar.

I texted Ayah to update him on the accomplishment.

Later in the afternoon, while Ayah was still away attending his corporate social responsibility office function ( hey... berapa lama daaaaa????? ), I dropped off the boys at Teacher Rameni's house to car pool with her children to the Tae Kwan Do class pulak.

Again Ameer was very hesitant in the beginning. But I just had to remind him that he needed to start learning self defense early, else who will protect 'Anis'? Wohooooo!!!! That line worked wonders I tell ya (hehehe, sorry Abid .... ). Talk about 'motivation'! This guy is really fond of Anis, a daughter of one of my MT clan, Abid. So anything for Anis. Plus, since Hafiz (and Abang Idin too, before this) was already in the class, at least Ameer was not as apprehensive towards Tae Kwan Do as he was towards swimming. But I bet my broken finger nails that it was the mere mentioning of protecting Anis being the key differentiating factor in this case. My maternal instinct says so.

Abang Idin also had a Tae Kwan Do meet of some sort at Stadium Cheras. A tourney amongst the light/feather weight he said. Ada ke? Ntah ler.... So we would not be visiting him at the hostel in the afternoon.

With visiting session cancelled and with the two boys out of the house on Saturday afternoon, I thought it was a good time to catch up on my reading. On the sofa, in front of the TV. Air cond switched on. A plate of goreng pisang (tapau from a stall outside the club) and a mug of teh tarik by the side (courtesy of bibik on weekends). The same 'A Thousand Splendid Sun' by Khaled Hosseini at hand. Wahhhh.... what a bliss!!! As you can guess ..... I dozed off to sleep in no time at all. HAHAHAHA ....

Ayah woke me up - tak sedar pun what time. Asked the boys whereabout. And I told him lepas swimming, lunch, lepak sat, then pi Tae Kwan Do pulak. The look of a pleasant surprise on his face was pretty obvious. Shortly after, he also joined me lounging in front of the TV - both dozing off to our Saturday afternoon slumber.

At about half past six, we were waken up by shrills of laughter, sweaty smells and a marathon of commentaries on how to do this kick and that punch by the two boys. Hafiz told us he had to spar with a girl and so had to let her win. Ameer was huffing & puffing at the same time, showing off his newly acquired skills.

At that moment, I knew, the lessons have begun .....

Salam,
Ibu

p/s Ayah... I've asked the swimming coach to text me his account number. That should spare you the hassle, as you can simply Mayban2him jer in the future .... ekekeke.... so you think you can run scott free that easily?

Progress of my LIL one

2009-04-24T12:36:00.008+08:00

In Hollywood last night, Lil was voted out of American Idol Season 8. That was the end of Lil.

In Rawang though, or rather in the comfy sack inside my tummy, my very own lil' one is progressing well, Alhamdulillah. Thank you for all the well wishes, I'm touched and grateful for the doas extended.

Went for my follow up check up at APSH yesterday on my own, joined by Ayah there. I came clean with Dr Ashar that I couldn't stand being house arrested, hence I started work 2 weeks earlier (than the 4 weeks medical leave given!). He smiled and calmly replied, "It's quite hard to stay put when you are so used to being active at work, isn't it?" Hehehe... Ayah just smiled and added, "there's another update". And so I also had to come clean with Dr Ashar re the slip & fall too. I told him I rest for a few days after the fall but started work again early this week. Since there was no bleeding or major abdominal pain, he seemed fully forgiving. After all, I fell while doing my normal morning routine for Subuh prayer, so he really couldn't scold me, even if he wanted to. Hehehe.....

So first things first, let me come clean altogether. I am 40 and I have 3 boys. And yeah, I am expecting. About 16 weeks now.

Sometimes at dinner table, I wring my hands at the skies and wonder how I came to be the hub of this noisy, chaotic house. Some days as evening falls, I just have to get away to take a break from the responsibility, from the cacophony, and labor, and pretend to have fallen fast asleep under the duvet where no one can no longer expect one iota of energy from me.

I repeat, I am 40, I have 3 boys, and am 16 weeks pregnant now. I have quite a demanding job in a multi national chain of "kedai runcit".

Some of my colleagues said either I am very courageous, or I am out of my mind!

Either way, it's still a mission, shared by Ayah & Ibu.

I already have 3 boys - that I've said. All from the same Ayah (chuckle!!! though one of my buddies thought Ameer looked like my former 'boyfriend'...ceh!!! tak patut betul!! he didn't even fall into my definition of 'boyfriend' in the first place, okay? And for goodness sake, anak ke tiga muka cam ex-boyfriend, apa hal? HAHAHA....)

So is this my 4th pregnancy then?

No. It's not. I've had a few miscarriages in the past. At least 2 in between Abang Idin & Hafiz, including one at 4.5 months; it was a girl :(.

And then another 2 miscarriages after Ameer - both within the last 12-15 months. I blogged about one of it (the first one) but kept silent on the 2nd unfortunate incident. I felt it was too private & personal to share then. I don't mind sharing now, the 2nd miscarriage was actually a twin (we have 'twins genes' in both Ayah's & Ibu's side, so not a major surprise).

So put up your fingers now and count. Kalau 'tak', I would have 8 children! WOW !!!! Meriahnya!!

We've mutually agreed on having 4. Ayah actually wanted more. Not realistic at all from my perspective. So 4 is a compromised number. We would have exceeded set expectation with the twins, but no...it was not meant to be, for only Allah knows why. If Allah grants us more after this, we'll still accept it as part of the rezqi bestowed upon us.

For what have happened, I can only thank Allah for still giving me the opportunities to conceive & carry them even just a quarter way. I know some close friends who still have not successfully conceived despite assisted with medical advances & technology interventions.

In my case, as proven thus far, I could conceive. For all my pregnancies thus far, I did not experience the so-called "morning sickness". However, I suffered from a condition called "incompetent cervix" (I've linked the term to a relevant site to save your time from googling). This was first detected, unfortunately, a bit too late, upon my 1st known miscarriage at abt 4.5 mths. I was told then that I had (still have!) a reverse shaped uterus, hence the incompetent cervix. Since then, I was advised that in order to sustain my future pregnancies, I might have to go through this procedure called cervical serclage, which is simply translated as sewing up the cervix with stitches, to be removed later closer to delivery date. So in the case of Hafiz & Ameer, 'their' pregnancies were assisted with serclages, both done by Dr Jem.

Why the other two-three miscarriages, you may ask? The challenge with serclage is that it is advisable to be done only after 12 weeks - just in case there are problems arising during this period, the pregnancy can be abandoned or the threatened abortions can happen naturally.

That was the case with me with the other miscarriages, including the twins. All at about 8 weeks, I started spotting & bleeding, hence tak sempat nak buat serclage pun.

I don't want to dwell about the costs, but suffice to say, that the treatment for the miscarriages (the D&C) and the prevention of it (the serclage) each cost almost the same if not slightly more than the cost of normal delivery.

Do I sound like I'm regretting it?

Not at all. Sometimes terkilan, undoubtedly - you know, the longing to hold & cuddle the lil ones..... But all the times eventually, I was and am rest assured that Allah knows best. Never mind the frustration, the emotions, the medical leaves, the costs and all; the unseen benefit obviously, as many have told, outweighs the sufferings.... the lil ones would wait & help me while crossing siratalmustakim (InsyaAllah!).

So far, I have no problem explaining my pregnancy to my 3 boys. In fact they have all long thought that I was pregnant (obviously because of the kebuncitan of my middle earth!!!). We appreciate each others companies most of the time. All 5 of us. We talk, shout, laugh, giggle & whisper as we wish. We celebrate birthdays. We hide each others favourite pillows. We make monkey faces to each other. We rub or scratch each others backs at bedtime. We fight over who gets the next McD Happy Meal toy. We challenge who will first finish the chore or homework. Sometimes, we munch snacks or dinner in front of the TV - much to the chagrin of Bibi. We are our own life simple pleasures. And I reckon, welcoming another extension to our family, the new lil one, won't be an issue with any one of us at all.

Now that I'm approaching the end of my 1st trimester with the current lil one, and that the serclarge had been successfully done - this time by Dr Ashar (the reason why I had to stay in hospital not so long ago), I truly hope and I continue to pray everyday that I will have a safe & sound pregnancy this time and the lil one will have a healthy development & growth within me. And I will continue to pray that Allah will bestow the lil one with taqwa & iman, to be successful both di dunia & akhirat.

For someone whose work amongst others include upholding personal privacy & confidentiality, it feels weird initially writing away on this subject which I consider quite personal & private. But while writing it away I may, the writing sure still sound more like relating of random facts rather than sharing of feelings.

But I guess that's me. More of a rational thinker than a feeler.

And the more I think about it, the more I eventually come to accept the rationale for this sharing - isn't it what this blog is for? In case I suffer memory lapse or senility in my much older days in the future, at least this story will prevail - as part of my Cerita Ibu, untuk anak2 ibu yg tersayang.

Spare a prayer that this mission of Ayah & Ibu will be one mission made possible this time around.

Salam
Ibu

Slippery when wet

2009-04-16T11:14:00.002+08:00

I slipped n fell in the shower this morning when I wanted to take wudhu' for Subuh prayer..... bummer!!! Not good at all for my current condition. Kepala pun dah benjol sikit.

So back to rest in bed today.....

Pls spare a prayer for the safety of the lil' one.

Help me God!!! Ya mubdi....

Buku 555: Tags oh tags!!

2009-04-09T13:27:00.010+08:00

I have a long list of hutang tags in my buku 555. Luckily they don't accumulate interest. For those who tagged me, pls do accept my apology. Not that I didn't want to answer them earlier, but sometimes I really don't know the answers, hence the deferment. Percayalah.... (chuckle!chuckle!!)

Orang kata, sikit2 lama jadi bukit. So let's take this settling of hutang one tag at a time.

The first one I'll try to answer is the one on ALL ABOUT YOUR HUSBAND, tagged by WanShana, March 30, 2009.

Why this one? It is not randomly selected you know. Here's why.....

In my previous entry re Abang Idin turned 13, I said "Since then (i.e. since Michelle withdrew from the Kindy), dia (i.e. Abang Idin) jadi pemalu sangat dengan perempuan sebenarnya. Saling tak tumpah macam Ayah (i.e. my hubby) dia zaman dolu-dolu. "

And one of Ayah's college buddies whose blog nickname is also AYAH has got to comment :

" Hehehehehehehehehe! "

Wahhhh.... sikit punya panjang tu dia punya mengilai! Which got me thinking, eh? tak betul kah my statement tu? I thought that was what I learned about Ayah (my hubby la kan?). Unless, as buddies, he (the blogger Ayah) knows something else? hmmm...musykil dah ibu sekarang ni. Which means, there is something hidden about ayah's personality & traits that I have not discovered?

This prompted me, eh... what else do or don't I know about my husband?

Hence, let me try to answer the tag. Ayah, Shana, Mr Engineer and everyone else, if you know a different answer to the questions, pls share hokeh?

Here goes:

1) He’s sitting in front of the TV, what is on the screen?

If he's watching alone: most probably HEROES, LOST or sitcoms or anything on discovery channel.

If the children are watching with him: Tom & Jerry, Ben10, Naruto, Pink Panther. LOL!!!!

IF ibu is watching with him: American Idol or CSI

2) You’re out to eat; what kind of dressing does he get on his salad?

1000 Island and Chili Sauce (Lingham).

Tapi he hardly chooses dishes that come with salad segala.....

3) What’s one food he doesn’t like?

Cake (he said).

p/s Baguss.... save duit sikit this coming November.

4) You go out to eat and have a drink. What does he order?

Food ~ Kuey Teow Goreng, preferably with seafood. With extra order: telur mata satu kasi taruh atas!!!

Drinks ~ Ice lemon tea

5) Where did he go to high school?

Sekolah tembak-menembak

6) What size shoes does he wear?

Rasa-rasanya 7 or 8.

7) If he was to collect anything, what would it be?

Any IT gadgets & peripherals. Dah berkotak2 dah ni....

8) What is his favorite type of sandwich?

Hmmmm.... I don't think he particularly likes sandwhich. Kuey Teow Goreng satu pls!

9) What would this person eat every day if he could?

Kuey Teow Goreng?!! Isn't it obvious by now?

10) What is his favorite cereal?

Errr.... you don't get it do you? Where got people eat keow teow with cereal one??!!!

11) What would he never wear?

A bra? ahahaha....

12) What is his favorite sports team?

Elek.... he's not into sports.

13) Who did he vote for?

Eh! Bukan ke undi itu rahsia?

Tapi kalau American Idol, maybe Danny Gokey.

Last time, Msian Idol, he expected Jacklyn Victor to win.

But he would never waste his money on this kind of voting.

14) Who is his best friend?

I don't know, seriously. Could it be me? I don't think so. I would expect him to say, I am more than a friend. Muahahaha.....

15. What is something you do that he wishes you wouldn’t do?

Picking my nose in front of him. Ahahaha...

16. What is his heritage?

Minang from his arwah father.

Chinese from his mother.

17. What is his favourite colour?

White & blue.

18. What is his habit?

Good one: Tidak melengah2 kan solat

Bad one: Asyik buat2 terlupa ajer kalau dia hutang Ibu!!! Tak aci lah weehh...

19. What is he proud of?

I'm not sure. I have to find out. He's very modest about a lot of things.

20. Lastly, do you think he will read this?

Yes he will, because I will make him do. Ahahaha....

SO .... that's all I know (a few I don't know) about my husband, based on the questions given above. Phewww.... sib baik tak tanya, berapa ramai ex-gf dia ada atau soalan2 yg sewaktu dengannya. Sbb I wouldn't know for sure.

Jelingan manja la konon...
(pic taken in a backstreet alley somewhere in Istanbul 2007)

Shana, one down. Many-many more to go....

Salam
Ibu

No longer a boy but not yet a man

2009-04-07T22:34:00.008+08:00

Abang Idin turns 13 today, 7th April 2009.

I thought of scanning some favourite photos from childbirth right up till Std 6 Graduation and upload them here - but then realised too late that the photo albums are still nicely packed in 2 boxes and stored in our 'old' house. So niat tak kesampaian.

Abang Idin was small at birth, only 2.48kg. I carried him to full term with very little hassle (no morning sickness whatsoever). Just one push and out he ventured into this world. He is still small size todate. Reminds me of my own dwarf days - no difference. I only shot up drastically after puberty. So there is hope for Abang Idin to grow into a tall, tanned & handsome boy one fine day.

But size does not matter. I would like to think that he fits well into the description of "kecik2 cili padi".

He WAS short tempered, to say the least. Kecik2 dulu, cepat sangat naik hangin. Kalau marah, he would shout until urat leher semua keluar. The tremors could be felt by the whole Taman Hijau then. We used to call him Mat Kilau Junior. (Note: Kalau ada junior, mesti ada senior kan? And Mat Kilau was not a female - so guess who handed down this trait? LOL!!!)

He's an early bloomer in puppy love though. He first fell in love with Ariel the Little Mermaid (the Disney cartoon character) when he was barely 3. I might have blogged about this before. He was watching Disney House when suddenly he shrieked out to ask me, "IBUUUUUU...kenapa 'kote' Idin rasa macam sakit bila tengok Ariel the Little Mermaid ni?". I panicked. Bagai nak rak punya panick. Didn't know how to answer or react. Ayah was away, posted to Jeddah that time. Later that night when I called Ayah, all he answered was, "THAT's MY BOY!!!!". Pulak ....

When he was 5, after starting Kindy at Tadika Sinaran Bayu, he had his heart for a chinese classmate. I didn't know until one Sunday when we had our regular nasi lemak brunch by our fish pond just outside the dining hall. He picked up a wild flower and gave it to me. I was so thrilled, eh... kecik2 lagi dah romantic jugak anak aku nih? He asked me to put it in my hair (selit celah telinga) which I did happily for him. Then he said, dreamily, with glow in his eyes, that I looked so sweet with the flower in my hair, just like 'Michelle'. Huh??!!! It was a short lived infatuation though. One day Michelle accidentally fell into the small gutter while playing during recess and her mother withdrew her from the Kindy. Abang Idin didn't quite find any one else to replace Michelle thereafter. When I asked, he innocently answered, "Yang lain semua gelap-gelap, tak cute macam Michelle!" GULP!!!

Since then, dia jadi pemalu sangat dengan perempuan sebenarnya. Saling tak tumpah macam Ayah dia zaman dolu-dolu.

He's also considerably matured in thinking for his age progressively. When he was 6, he approached his Pak Long who had just bought a new car and asked his Pak Long left, right & centre about not just how much the car cost, but whether that car was brand new or second hand, purchased direct from car dealer or owner, whether he purchased it cash or credit, how much the loan interest was, whether the car was insured and for how much, with which insurance company, how often the car needed servicing, did it come with AAA membership or not, if not who would tow the car away if it broke down along the highway, yadayadayya.... Suffice to say, Pak Long was dumbfounded and turned to us, "Korang bagi makan apa budak ni?". hahahaha....

He was once voted Best Story Teller at Kindy - don't know what he klentong his teacher & classmates la kan?

His primary school days were not short of typical childhood mischievousness and boyish pranks. Never got into any serious or succumbed to being bullied despite his small size. Why? Cerdik! He always have much bigger and taller friends as his 'body guards'.

His maturity in thinking persevered through the observation of others. In my last conversation with his tuition teacher just before PMR, Mr Shan said he had never met a 12 year old quite like Abang Idin before. When they have issues for discussions (as part of the reading & comprehension exercise), Abang Idin would come up with all sorts of reasoning, theories, hypotheses, comparisons and serious probing questions which often caught him off guard, unprepared. Oh well.. other than cartoon & sports, he likes watching the national geography and discovery channel, and he reads a lot from boys adventure stories, to sports almanacs and also history of the world, the planet, the universe and even the secrets of Pharaohs and Tutankhamen. So that sums it all I guess.

A die hard Man Utd fan, who still perhaps deep down wishes he can be a pro footballer one day. Actually Abang Idin, if you can't join them, you just buy/invest in the club in the future ok?

********************************************

12 years gone by in a blink of an eye.

Typically, we would have one or two months or at least a few weeks of anticipation in preparation for his birthday - what presents to give him, what kind of birthday cake he would like, should it be home made birthday cards or off the rack options, etc, etc. Every year we would crack our head; do we want to hold a party at home/elsewhere OR just send the cake to his school OR both? Almost every year, we ended up doing both. We would buy a cake & pack some snacks & drinks into little packages - like party packs minus the toys - to be sent to his school so that he could celebrate with his classmates. Then we would hold a "party" - most of the time just amongst us either at home or some eateries somewhere, sometimes with extended families (nenek, atuk, mak long, pak long segala... cum doa selamat), sometimes with our regular gettogether friends & their families (cuma baca doa sebelum makan...Allahuma baariqlana.....ehehe). And oh yes... these parties ... may not necessarily be held on his birthdate spot on. It's Msia, we do have inclement weathers kan?

This year, it is his first bday away from home.

I'm feeling blue. Can't hug, smooch & tickle him when the clock struck 12 as we usually did in the past.

My first born celebrating his birthday on his own, hopefully with his classmates or dormmates.

Alahai...sedih la pulak ibu sorang ni.

Nevertheless, we still bought him a cake, choc cappucino - his favourite. 3 birthday cards (off the rack) - one from Hafiz & Ameer. One from Ibu. One from Ayah. And a cute package with teddy bear print & little ribbon with mini birthday gifts inside - a mini wooden yellow pet cat from Ameer, a mini sunflower magnetized photoframe from Hafiz and a keychain with a mini black 'Converse' shoe from Ibu (it was printed as 'Conserve' though...hahaha). Dropped all these off at his school's guard house at about 6pm together with some snacks & drinks (not in little packages this time). Pandai2 la dia share ramai2 with his friends.

He called me right after Maghrib and thanked me happily. He sounded quite excited. I told him the yellow pet cat was from Ameer when he almost shouted, nanti-nanti....don't tell, he hadn't open the gift pack yet! Lerrrr.... anti climax betul la Ibu ni.

Ayah bought his gift during Abang Idin's outing on Sunday - a YONEX badminton racket - and Abang Idin brought it back to hostel same day, grinning from ear to ear. So the 'real' birthday gift is due only from Ibu now. He had hinted his boots were tight already. Hmm.... tunggu ek?

Meanwhile, I hope he would enjoy the cake, snacks & drinks with his friends tonite. And treasure the mini gifts from us. Mini they may be, but symbolic of our warm thoughts, well wishes and unconditional love for him.

By the way, Hafiz wrote on the birthday card, "Yo Bro! Have you found a new awek at SEPINTAR yet? Her name is.....?". LOL!!! Hafiz, hafiz..... he even said out loud his wish for Abang Idin when we signed the bday cards, "I wish Abang Idin will be FREED from Asrama!!!!" . Despite the sibling rivalry, he must be missing his not-so-big brother.

So there you go Abang Idin. We all miss you. Actually not just on your birthday, but everyday too.

May you find lots of success, happiness & healthy living for the years to come. Ibu doakan Abang Idin sentiasa dipelihara dalam keimanan supaya selamat dunia & akhirat. Many happy returns.

My 13 year old Abang Idin - no longer a boy, not yet a man.

Ambition vs Fantasy

2009-04-02T23:09:00.007+08:00

I received a call from Ameer's kindy Teacher today, just some updates on this & that.

BUT ...... ( there's always a but somewhere, or else why would I want to blog about it?)

She lodged her concern about Ameer's response on "what do you want to be when you grow up". Curiously enough, I asked, what was Ameer's response that she was so concern about? In my heart, nothing psychotic I hope!

Apparently, Ameer told her, he wanted to be a NINJA !!!! Oh la la.

I laughed & laughed my hearts out, leaving no airtime in between for her to continue because honestly, I thought it was so damn funny. I just couldn't help it and so indulge myself in laughing out loud (alone) for quite a while. I thought that was such a brave enough an attempt by Ameer and an honest one at it too. How many kids would actually be open enough to share their personal vision such as that. At most, it would be the well rehearsed answers as practiced at home - I want to be a teacher, police, ustazah, lawyer, accountant, doctor, architect, etc. Rarely ever - celebrity chef, hairstylist, pro footballer or Akademi Fantasia winner. And a Ninja from Rawang? Wow! That must be the first for the Teacher.

The feeling obviously was not mutual - at all! The Teacher said, even after showing pictures of various occupations to the class and what these people do, yet when she asked Ameer again, Ameer still asked how come there's no photo of a Ninja.

Suffice to say, Teacher was not happy. Teacher was concerned. Teacher was afraid that Ameer could not differentiate between reality & fantasy. Teacher wanted me (this Ibu)to help Ameer to have a better grasp of what's real and what's not.

Oh oh.... I'm in trouble. Not about Ameer's ambition. But in dealing with the expectation of the Teacher.

Hello..... Ameer just turned 5 last November. Technically therefore, he's only 5 years & 4 months young OK?. I see nothing seriously flawed with him sharing that kind of 'personal vision'. Having 3 boys of my own and several nephews & nieces of various ages, I've indeed heard of many others too that are quite not so ordinary, namely rock star, hairstylist, makeup artist, antique cars collector, professional footballer, professional boxer, F1 driver, CSI, pest controller, locksmith, Jimmy Neutron, President, Hannah Montana and Ariel (the little mermaid) to name a few. So shall I just say... heh... this types of childhood ambitions kind of 'run in the family'? hahahah..... I think that will scare the Teacher even more.

Or is it quite obvious that I am not as kiasu as some other parents ke? That's besides the point.

Seriously, I think what should interest the Teacher more was to explore & find out WHY my little Ameer wants to become a NINJA and what about NINJA that excites or inspires him? The standard questions of 4 Wives, 1 Waitress & 1 husband (Who, What, Where, When, Why and How) would have done the trick, I think. KAN?

When Ameer got home from school and I asked him about the NINJA episode, of course his immediate response was to DENY. "Eh! No! Ameer dah tukar balik macam last week - Ameer nak jadi Doktor lah, tak nak jadi Ninja. Sebab Teacher kata, in gheal world, mana ada NINJA".

Sad... there is NINJA in the real world la Teacher! May be in our culture not something that we want to lure our children into BUT the fact remains, NINJAs do exist okay Teacher? Because the under world is part of the real world. But that would be too complicated to explain to Ameer right? Or you seriously don't think NINJA exist in the real world? Sigh.....

So Q & A between Ameer & Ibu ensued:

Ibu: Why do you think becoming a NINJA is exciting, Ameer?

Ameer: Because NINJA helps fight off evil people and dia protect the not so strong people tau Ibu.

Ibu: Oh.... ye ker? Macam mana dia protect other people tu?

Ameer: NINJA tu kan Ibu, dia kena practice ghajin-ghajin sampai dia kuat tau, then dia can protect other people la. And he must eat well, macam Naruto tu.

(I have no idea what Naruto eats okay?)

Ibu: Ye ker? Kenapa NINJA kena protect other people tu?

Ameer: Ibu tak tau ker? Kan ada ghamai oghang jahat kat luar. Evil. Macam kena bully ker.... So NINJA akan rescue la oghang yang kena kacau tu.

(So who says cartoon is all that bad?)

Ibu: Ohhhhh.....

Ameer: Ha! Ibu dah faham?

Yikes!!!

Ibu: Ah... yes! So, Ameer nak jadi NINJA, sebab Ameer nak protect orang baik dari orang jahat eh?

Ameer: Ya. Tapi kalau nak jadi NINJA, kena practice rajin-rajin dulu (sambil buka langkah ala-ala martial arts macam dalam Naruto tu) baru la kuat. Lepas tu baru la boleh protect orang lain.

Ibu: Ah... betul....

Ameer: Tapi sekarang Ameer dah tukar la Ibu. Cikgu kata takde sekolah ajar jadi NINJA. So now Ameer nak jadi Doktor. Macam last week yang Ameer ada cakap kat Ibu tu. Tukar jadi Doktor balik lah.

And he hurried off upstairs to change his school uniform. Quickly did his homework without being asked. So that he can have uninterrupted time to watch his latest favourite cartoon, the Tom & Jerry show. That's Ameer for you. Business first, leisure ensues. Straight A's in his monthly tests thus far, except for lukisan.

Yes... Ameer's short lived ambition involves fantasy, no doubt. But based on noble hopes & desires, isn't it? The one thing that the Teacher could have done then, had she enquired that bit further, was to help translate & guide my child to similar "peace keeping" & "protect others" kind of occupations which are more common and real (to her) than NINJA. Polis ke, askar ke, FRU ke, lawyer ke, martial arts instructor ke, Menteri Pertahanan ke, NGO activist ke, UN Envoy peace keeper ke .... whatever la... whatever "REAL" to her la kan? That would still be a better attempt than simply pouring cold water to such a noble heart desire from an innocent child.

I grew up at an era when most parents & teachers similarly expected their kids to choose the standard occupation. Careers in arts, culinary, music, literature, professional sports for example, were not only unheard of, but almost a taboo especially if they are considered "ishhh.... tak boleh, kita orang Malaysia/Melayu/Islam" or simply if it's "non-money makers".

Somehow, as a child and up till form 5, I managed to 'stray'. I always came up with the not so standard answer, from the very-very low on approval rating (perempuan joget, no kidding!) to the neutral ones (welfare officer, lawyer, lecturer, engineer - boring stuff?) and right up to the ironic ones (nuclear physicst, air stewardess - ironic because I'm not that great in maths at all for the former and bukan ler lawa, tinggi lampai & sopan santun bebeno for the latter.... hahaha). During the interview for scholarship (at age 17), I made the interviewers fell off their chair - laughing, as I told them I wanted to go to US simply because I wanted so much to go to Disneyland, nothing else. Interestingly enough, the interviewers said, I've got "personal vision", and they like.....

What I ended up as today? A career totally unheard of by my kindergarten teacher back then.

So adakah ini satu fenomena Bapak Borek, Anak Rintik? Or more appropriately, Ibu bintik-bintik, Anak polka dot?

Not quite.

I think the world today offers a lot more than the standard occupations - unimaginable years ago. And who knows what the future holds?

The challenge I offer to teachers out there; please.....

ASK MORE THAN TELL

For without exploring further what's on their mind, you would hastily reach at a conclusion that is only based on half of the picture. The half that is in your mind and yours only. NOT in the mind of the person that you should be exploring further - the child, the student.

I don't mean to be overly protective - but I think a child deserves some extra time to be heard first, rather than simply to be told off.

To anak-anak Ibu, BE WHAT YOU WANT TO BE so long you are happy with your choices and do your best in your chosen field (subject always to 'di jalan yang benar, halal dan baik). Bertebaran lah dimuka bumiNYA, rezeki itu ada di mana-mana, InsyaALLAH... I will pray that you will be guided, be protected, be reminded and be successful always, dunia & akhirat.

Salam,
Ibu

p/s

To Abang Idin, if you indeed choose that route, I don't mind getting complimentary pass to sit with the Man U players in their designated bench. Seriously.

To Hafiz, if you are still undecided which car to spare one for me from amongst all those in your future collection - berbuih dah mulut ibu cakap, I will easily settle for the Volkswagen Van okay? The ori version. Nothing more expensive.

To Ameer, the options are plenty still. No worries my boy.

BORED

2009-04-01T11:53:00.004+08:00

I'm supposed to 'rest in bed'.

(Hmmm.... Shana, if you are reading this, for me, that is such a tall order, okay?!)

By right, there's so many things that I can do with this loooooonnnnggg forgiven period of being away from office. Plenty of time to finish off story books while I put up my feet & rest, plenty of opportunities to craft quiz papers for Hafiz & Ameer, plenty of minutes for blogging & facebooking, plenty of hours for unnecessary rearranging the can-no-longer-fit blouses & dresses in my wardrobe. Yup! plenty of things to do. (Unfortunately, flicking thru recipe books & trying those recipes out SHALL not (yet) become one possibilities... sigh.... mana boleh diri lama2? akakaka...excuse, excuse, excuse....)

But by left (vs right? got it? aiya... never mind...), I choose to feel bored.

We all have to choose our attitude. And today ... I choose to feel bored.

Other than the ever-so-challenging Bahasa Arab Tahun 2 homework that I've been helplessly helping Hafiz to finish ( do u know 'mirwahaton' means kipas/fan, 'suraton' means gambar/photo & 'dulabon' means almari/cupboard? now you know.... ), nothing around the house inspires or excites me this very minute.

And the fact that I can't face the notebook too long - because sitting up right is not equivalent to the 'resting in bed' kind of posture therefore not good for my lower abdomen - render me even more helpless.

AHhh... let it be. Let me see how long I will last with this attitude that I want to choose today - feeling bored.

Shortly, Ameer should be back from Kindy. And I am very sure I have another daunting task at hand - to copy & draw a few more transformer robots ( mak oiii!! didn't realise there are so many of them!). At least, there's an opportunity for me to be given a double or triple star for my drawing that are considered so out of this world by Ameer. He even complimented me yesterday, U r so HEBAT Ibu! ( Ameer actually used the word HEBAT!!! Funny eh?! I did't ask if he knew the meaning. It's not often you get a compliment from a 6 year old these days. So it didn't matter whether he knew the meaning or not. hehehe.... )

So what do I know. My feeling bored attitude helps me fill another page of a boring entry. That's quite an achievement for someone who's feeling bored.

I soooo wanna grab that gingerbread cookies and dunk 'em in nescafe tarik. But at this hour? Hmmmm....

E-boo

p/s Ayah... if you are reading this, beras dah (nak) habis, telur (memang) dah habis. Even if I want to find alternative food - cat food pun dah habis daaa.... and as I'm strictly to rest in bed, hehehe.... nampak gaya, balik nanti Abang kena singgah Tesco la ya?

Al-Fatihah : Dr Haliza Shafie

2009-03-29T23:26:00.014+08:00

I was almost dozing off to sleep out of boredom yesterday afternoon at the ward, when I was snapped out of it by the sheer mention of the name "Dr Haliza Shafie" over TV3 6-something news.

My heart sank. I managed to mumble, " Innalillah hi wa inna ilayhi rojiun ..."

It was only last Monday when Ayah & I passed by her clinic en route to the surau at APSH that I told Ayah we'd better call her nurse to check on Ameer's vaccination schedule. I was quite sure there must be one due for 6 year old. I felt like dropping by her clinic there & then but it was quite late and I didn't want to bother the nurse whom I supposed would already be tired by that hour of the day and would probably be ready to call it a day anytime.

Little that I knew that THAT was my own version of a hazy premonition of some sort. Of course, it might just be a coincidence. But I do get a lot of this kind of coincidences, and I sometimes wonder if I should work harder to sharpen my 6th sense.

The news left my jaw dropped for a long while - shocked, denial, sad - all emotions jumbled up at the same time. I called Ayah but no answer. I had no clue who else to call to share the gruesome news I just overheard from the tube.

When Ayah arrived with the two musketeers later that night, I shared with him the news. He was speechless. We accessed Star online and the news on the "Missing Doctors" was already uploaded.

This morning, when Dr Ashar came for his morning rounds, he asked if I've heard the news. I told him that she was our 3 children's Paed and he nodded in silence. As he removed the IV needle from my hand, he calmly confirmed the news about the discovery of the body and shared some insights into the initial search that had started a few days back in which he was also involved. I had to bite my lips to control my tears.

At this juncture, images of Dr Haliza - in her oh-so-familiar professional yet very calm, caring, feminine, motherly gentle voice & gesture, giving both Ayah & I the much needed advise and assurance that it's okay to learn about caring for babies & toddlers as we go along and not to be too scared about learning it from real life experience - kept flashing in and out of my mind uncontrollably.

Allahyarhammah Dr Haliza was first recommended to me by Dr Jem (my gynae, who's also Dr Ashar's wife) to be my first born Paediatrician way back in 1996 . I've not heard of Dr Haliza before, but how could I refuse a sound recommendation from Dr Jem? Since then, Dr Haliza has been all of our 3 boys' Paed, right from Abang Idin, then to Hafiz, then to Ameer.

She was the one who gave all our 3 boys their vaccinations & inoculation, the jabs, the tickles and also the stern warnings not to consume too much ice cream & lollies. She was the one who attended to Abang Idin when he had pneumonia when he was barely 4 months old. She was the one who attended to Hafiz with all the common baby illnesses as listed in Johnson & Johnson's baby book (from jaundice to cradle cap to pink eye to colic to diarrhea, you name it, Hafiz got it). She also talent spotted Ameer as 'one tough cookie' as he hardly ever cried each time she injected those needles into his cute little butt or arm - so unlike his two elder brothers who cried the whole Ulu Klang river.

I had no doubt before this that if I were fated to have another one, insyaAllah, it would surely still be her to summarise the Apgar scores, to hold and cuddle the little fingers, hands & butt of my newborn in the same loving and caring way that she had done for all my 3 boys.

But of course, we could only plan. We are all still subject to the Master Plan.

To the family of the late Dr Haliza Shafie, our sincere takziah and condolence. May Allah bless her soul. Semuga Allahyarhammah ditempatkan bersama orang-orang yang beriman dan beramal soleh, insyaAllah....

AL-FATIHAH .....

:(
Ibu

p/s To Dr Jem, if by a miracle of chance you do drop by this humble blog entry, I must thank you from the bottom of my heart (long overdue) for introducing Allahyarhammah Dr Haliza to our family. We shall miss her dearly....

A quickie

2009-03-05T19:42:00.002+08:00

I'm referring to this update ( what did you have in mind? aiyerrrrrr...... )

Some good news really.....

1. Abang Idin got accepted into boarding school, syukur alhamdulillah.

2. The 'tax man' had reconciled my account & sent another letter saying it is LHDN that owe me some money.... and actually ... they don't owe me anymore, because I received the check in the mail already yesterday .... yabedabedooooo.....
(p/s Abang, sorry darling ... I'm not giving up any sum for your car repair, okay?)

So ... nanti lah...senang2 I'll write more. Right now, busy maaaaa.....

E-boo

Love Is In The Air

2009-02-13T20:38:00.002+08:00

We've stopped celebrating Valentine's Day loooooonnnng ago.

But I hope Ayah will read this in time, because I don't mind getting a box of Ferraro Rocher tomorrow, really ..... hehehehe...... I'm sure the boys would enjoy them too.

AYAH!!!!! Bring 'em on Ayah..... you don't have to worry about my weight control regime because it has gone awry anyway! LOL!!!

Home away from home

2009-02-03T21:33:00.005+08:00

Abang Idin asked me not so long ago, "Are you trying to send me away?".

This question was in response to my never ending propaganda (who, what, where, when, why & how) to encourage him to go to boarding school for his secondary level education. Suffice to say, both Ayah & I are convinced boarding school is a good option, if given the opportunity.

My answer, or defense really, was quite simple & straight forward.

"I am not TRYING to send you away Abang. I AM SENDING YOU AWAY!!! "

Hahahaha.... how cruel.

Unfortunately, as expected, he has not been accepted in the first round of placement. My friends have already alerted me on some of the key criteria for first priority of selection. While he qualifies as from sekolah luar bandar ( RAWANG kan???!!!), somehow he falls just outside the category of "kurang mampu" from household income perspective. If only we can attach records of all the loans payable to the payslips as well. Aiya....

There was another way I was told. Alumni quota for parents for entrance into former schools subject to certain requirements. I swear I could easily fulfill all the criteria (being kaki menyebok from time to time in the alumni committees & various alumni activities). Unfortunately, I hailed from ALL-GIRLS boarding school. And sex-change is out of the question!

Ayah .... he was from sekolah tembak menembak yg berpagar duri tapi tidak berasrama. PULAK!!! So no alumni quota from Ayah's alma mater.

Another way, they say, is to appeal.

And so we wrote an appeal letter - addressed to a nearby school jer lah..... hehehe.... one new sekolah berasrama penuh kat Rawang ni hah.

He was indeed called for an interview. And he did go for the interview albeit like dalam keterpaksaan. Kesian anak ibu....

Results were supposed to be sent via post by end of January. As I am typing this, we haven't received it in the mail yet. And so the waiting game continues....

But before I pen off, let me share with you one of the interview questions and how Abang Idin said he answered it.

Cikgu asked: "Kalau awak kena buli, apa awak akan buat?"

(He's considered small size for his age, so I suppose the question reflected a valid concern)

Idin answered: "Saya buli dia balik!"

Cikgu: "Eh! Tak boleh.... kalau buli-buli, nanti kena buang sekolah!"

*************************

Idin's justification later to Ayah was: "Sapa suruh dia start buli dulu?!!"

I bet you the cikgu must have been shell-shocked with such gutsy answer coming from such a small size boy! I hope he noticed Idin's red belt taekwondo certificate and that response was supposed to be translated as "I will retaliate for self defense purpose only, cikgu" instead of "Saya tak takut dan boleh buli orang jugak cikgu!!"

Alahai.... what do you think? Will he get the placement?

Salam
E-boo

p/s I have yet to pull any cable. Sebab tak de cable pun! hahaha. Anyone with strong enough cable to help me out?

p/s I do think Abang Idin's answer was honest & quite original though. Very unpretentious. Reminds me of my answer during the interview for scholarship last time, why do you want to go US and not UK? I said because I wanted so much to go to Disneyland! hehehe.... I got the scholarship. But that was yearsssss ago. Maybe creativity & innocence in responses was much more appreciated then. We'll just have to wait & see if history will repeat itself. If not repeating, pls see previous p/s above. LOL !!!!

Let the strumming begin ....

2009-01-29T19:34:00.004+08:00

Text message exchanges with Abang Idin today :

3.46 pm (Idin)
Boleh beli gitar hero punya controller usb? Abg bayar

3.46 pm (Ibu)
Apa tu?

3.47 pm (Idin)
Gitar hero punya controller.

3.50 pm (Idin)
Usb compatible

*****************

I have no idea what he is asking for. He's willing to pay for it though, quite a twist!

He's been asking to resume his guitar lessons. Classical, he said. Can't recall what I registered him for before this.

Frankly, not sure if it's a genuine interest OR an excuse to escape "being sent away" to boarding school.

I think - regardless (genuinely interested vs escape from boarding school), I can still make arrangement for him to pursue the guitar lessons while still going (or being "sent away" as he puts it) to boarding school. If there is a will, there is a way.

Yes, I am a mean Ibu with a very strong will. You don't have a choice, do you Abang Idin? You can't choose your mother. HAHAHAHAHAH .......

p/s Some girls will surely fall weak on their knees with your strumming, Abang Idin. I mean, after you can strum bebetol la.... a song that people can decipher!

Undecided

2009-01-19T00:10:00.002+08:00

I can't decide what to blabber on; amongst the bloody vicious attack on Gaza or Anugerah Juara Lagu or Crispy Chicken Chop.

The first filled with repressed spiteful anger, the next with high spirits & jubilant and the last, a slight dent caused to the weak heart of an Ibu.

I don't know which one to start first.

Or maybe it's my usual antic to defer (or rather procrastinate) .... until the density and intensity of the feelings associated with each topic dissipate.

I guess at this hour..... that shall be it. Defer until later.

Memendam rasa.

Salam
Ibu

Tax

2009-01-09T21:38:00.003+08:00

Yes, tax ... not tags just yet.

I thought I received a Datukship award via a letter recently. On the envelope it was printed "Urusan Seri Paduka Baginda". If Shah Rukh Khan can get it, why can't I?

It turned out to be a letter from the inland revenue board - the 'tax man', alleging that I owe them money, insufficient schedular tax deduction remitted for income from taksiran 2007.

Not 100. Not 200. Not 1,000. Not even 2,000. BUT close to 20,000 okay!!!! And yes, RM, not rupiah.

I stood frozen reading the penyata. Can't be right. Can't be. Cannot be.

I am very sure I do not have any other source of income other than the meagre monthly income from selling groceries, seafood & poultry at the kedai runcit where I work.

I don't do direct selling. Nor have I made any fortune from skim cepat kaya coz I have not joined any (yet).

I don't think my collection of handbags, shoes. scarves, lipsticks, makeups & Jeffrey Archer novels can be considered as revenue generating assets (just yet).

And I swear I do not have any siblings or relatives residing in Sicily doing laundry business.

And no....my cats & kittens ( now totalling 14 altogether ) do not offer me any protection money whatsoever.

And yes.... all that was due as monthly schedular tax has been dutifully deducted from my monthly income & remitted. And as far as I can recall according to my taksiran for the year under question, the tax authorities were supposed to refund to me RM200. Not me owing them, oi.

RM20,000 !!! Mana nak cari? Even if I got it stashed somewhere (where? tell me if you know) or receive rezeki terpijak (kot2 la Shah Rukh Khan got winds that I mention his name here & hence wanted to reward me? ) - you think I should depart with that much money & surrender to IRB without any challenge & defense?

Hishhh... membazir tenaga & waktu tengok TV jer tau si IRB ni.

But somehow I can't blame them for eagerly wanting to do their job, can I? But they really should go after those rumah urut operators instead of me la.... shouldn't they? After all I just sell vegies, chicken, fish & maggie mee maaaa...... don't have any other additional income whatsoever pun. Haiyerr...

Never mind la. To memendekkan cerita rather than memendekkan nyawa, I will simply ask our Finance Dept to provide official verification that all monthly schedular tax has been remitted on timely basis. They said they have copies of receipts as proof or payment. Well & good. It should set the record straight that it is IRB records that needs correction. I hope.

Do you think, after that, they would refund me the RM200? Is that enough to buy me PGL ticket?

E-boo

Salam Maal Hijrah & Happy New Year

2008-12-28T22:23:00.004+08:00

I typed the title of this entry on the eve of maal hijrah, so as to lock the date.

New year's resolution moving forward into Ma'al Hijrah?

Read more
Learn more
Recite more
Pray more
Practice more
Help others more
Exercise more
Talk (of nonsense & merapu) less

Simple eh? But non committal enough you think?

By right any objectives must be SMART i.e. specific, measurable, achievable/agreed, realistic & timebound, isn't it?

But it's ok ( to me ) - because the standards of achievement will not be based on worldly desires rather really towards getting closer to Allah swt. So I must say, every little helps for me. It would be meaningless if I achieve the specified standards that I set for myself but which carries no credit towards the ultimate objective of getting closer to my creator.

And so I shall uphold my new year's resolution as above.

Help me God.

Salam,
E-boo

Tagged - 16 random facts

2008-12-28T02:29:00.006+08:00

16 only? Alah..... kacang la Shana oiiii.... hehehe... I know, I have a series of tags that I haven't answered yet. Most of them from Shana by the way.

Anyway, before I begin, about this tag thing - it reminds me of one of my childhood games in Kg Pasir, Johor Bahru dolu-dolu, it's called RAM-RAM-RIT. It was quite close to 'police & thieves' (which masa kecik2 dulu sounded like 'police century' to me, hahahaha!!!)- whereby the 'police' would run after the 'thieves' , 'cuit' one of the thieves & that particular thief in turn became the police and must then run to catch the next thief. Except that this RAM-RAM-RIT - there's no police no thief, but still with one running after a few others with the intention to 'cuit' one target and the target would in turn become the one to catch the next target.

How did the initial person got chosen to be the chaser or the catcher in RAM RAM RIT? Easy..... All players, boys & girls alike, gathered around. Someone would volunteer to held out his or her palm, and everyone then touched the center of the palm with everyone's index fingers. And then we all sang our hearts out:

RAM RAM RIT
ANAK UDANG KENA SEPIT
NAK KAWIN TAKDE DUIT
CARI BINI ATAS BUKIT

(No...I don't think Pak Malim, kucing ray yg alim crafted this pantun... hehe!)

Immediately at the end of the pantun, we would all pull back our index fingers. And the one whose finger got caught ( yakni di cekup!) by the palm extender would automatically be considered the first catcher. I.e. He or she would have to run after the rest of the gang who have to run helter skelter bertempiaran tunggang terbalik pusing pokok, balik reban, belakang garage; with the intention to cuit someone. Then that someone (yang dicuit) would be the next catcher. And so on, and so forth. Until today, I have no clue what the rationale behind this game is, but it sure was a lot of fun. And besides, as kids, who said there is any need to rationalise to have fun? What I can still remember, it sure looked like a good scene for MILO to sponsor: "Minum Milo Anda Jadi Sihat & Kuat!". It was a damn good aerobic exercise for us kids.

Zaman dolu - dolu.... Senangkan? No software to be downloaded, no battery to be re-charged and no worries of being limited to 2 or 3 players only. Mainlah seramai mana, and sampai bila suka - which always ended up sampai sweaty & smelly, sampai petang hari or sampai Mak sapa2 jerit, "Oiiii!! Balik mandi!!! Dah nak masuk maghrib ni!!!! "

But of course, RAM RAM RIT being an outdoor game, it was surely subject to inclement weather.

Hmmm... tu lah dia.... tags... always remind me of RAM RAM RIT. Dolu dolu physically have to cuit a friend who then will have to chase and cuit another friend. Today, we can still do this through the cyber world, through cyber touch. RAM RAM RIT di alam maya!

Woiitt! Bukan Maya Karin yerk! Cehhh....

Eh! Wahhhh.... Jauhnya digressed. What was it that I have to do just now? Tag eh? What kind of tag this time? 16 random facts about myself?

Alah..... dah pukul 3 pagi dah ni.... tak kuasaaaaaaa la pulak nak jawab tag! Esok je lah Shana ek? InsyaAllah, before tahun hijrah yg baru.

hehehe...Jgn marah Shana, nanti kena jual over the counter, AS IS basis. hehe...

Ta-ta.... LOL!!!!

Makcik Bloggers Meet

2008-12-22T21:59:00.004+08:00

Huh.... nak kena update jugak ker?

For immediate dosage, hop on to WanShana's or MrsNordin's blog. You'll catch some glimpses of us makcik2 and you'll also be linked to other blogs' update on the same.

As for the same story but from my perspective.... uhuhu... nanti sat kompol idea, no?

hehehe... i have to keep up with my reputation maaa... bagi blog bersawang sikit before bagi update. hehehe...

Salam...
Ibu

p/s dah tak jadi cinderella dah.... yeayyyy!!!

Missing much

2008-12-20T02:26:00.002+08:00

Ameer: Ibu.... Do you miss Bibi?

Ibu: Oh yes.... very much! Indeed! (while wiping off the sweat on my forehead so that it didn't drop onto the dinner place mat that i've just wiped clean. penat woi lap place mat... hehehe)

Ameer: Ameer pun miss Bibi....

Ibu: Ye ker?

Ameer: Hmmmmm ....

Ibu: Shian Ameer. So.... what are you going to do?

Ameer: Nanti, bila Bibi dah 'balik' ke Ghawang, Ameer nak makan aeghoplane dia!

Ibu: HUH? Makan aeroplane Bibi?

Ameer: Ha'ah... ya!

Ibu: Why?

Ameer: So that aeghoplane Bibi ghosak!

Ibu: Kenapa pulak nak rosakkan aeroplane Bibi?

Ameer: So that dia tak boleh pergi Indonesia lagi. Duduk sini jer dengan Ameer kat Ghawang!

Fuiyooo.... sampai begitu sekali Ameer miss Bibi.

And heh.... sebut2 pasal makan... macam nak perli Ibu jer Ameer tak cukup makan in Bibi's absence? Ishhh......

Salam,
Ibu
who's still sweating much, tak menang tangan.

Lapuran lintas langsung dari Kuantan

2008-12-09T13:41:00.004+08:00

Hari ini masuk hari ketiga semenjak bibi meninggalkan Malaysia untuk pulang bercuti ke kampung halamannya di Demak, Semarang, Indonesia.

'Pemergian' beliau .... sebenarnya.... masih belum terasa.

Mengapa?

Kerana kami anak beranak sekarang sedang melepak di MS Garden Hotel di Kuantan, mengekori Ayah yang terpaksa bertugas di luar kawasan musim raya qurban ni. Atas dasar keperihatinan seorang isteri mithali (konon....), Ibu sanggup berkorban sama, maka tak lah 'balik kampung' untuk raya tahun ni. Sebaliknya kami semua melepak di Kuantan.

Pagi semalam selepas Ayah selesai solat Aidul Adha, kami anak beranak bertolak ke rumah Mak Uda yang cuma sepelaung saja dari hotel ni. Merasalah juga juadah hari raya seperti rendang, lontong, kuah kacang dan segala. Tok (ibu Ayah, ibu mertua Ibu) juga sebenarnya masih di rumah Mak Uda. Jadi suasana hari raya masih dapat dinikmati sedikit sebanyak walau tidak sehiruk pikuk suasana raya yang lazimnya di rumah Mak Long di Damansara. Petang semalam, Ibu membawa empat orang anak-anak Mak Uda (semuanya perempuan la pula!!! Alangkah bahagia nya....) dengan tiga orang anak-anak ibu pergi menonton cerita animasi Bolt. Seronok rasanya.

Hari ini, di saat menulis lintas langsung ini pula, anak-anakku yang bertiga itu sedang terkinja2 dan menjerit2 sesama sendiri, dilamun 'terlebih perasan' menjadi juara lumba kereta atau wira Jepun yang terulung. Bahana bermain PS2 di bilik hotel.

Pagi tadi, tidak seperti hari hari yang terdahulu, cuaca cerah - memberi peluang kepada mereka bertiga bersuka ria di kolam renang hotel, tak ubah seperti itik jumpa air. Bezanya cuma itik pandai berenang. Ibu mengambil peluang mengemaskini sedikit polisi dan menghantar email melalui akses internet tanpa wayar di tepi kolam - sambil menjeling-jeling "anak-anak itik" itu.

Kedudukan hotel ni memang strategik, hanya beberapa langkah saja jaraknya dari Berjaya Mall. Ada restoran makanan segera, ada panggungwayang, ada spa, ada Parkson, dan macam-macam lagi. Jadi tak gusarlah Ayah meninggalkan Ibu dan anak-anaknya di sini, kerana beliau sudah sedia maklum dengan Ibu yang boleh 'survive' dengan cemerlang kalau ditinggalkan berdekatan pusat membeli-belah. Alangkah bagusnya kalau Ayah berbuat demikian sambil meninggalkan kad kredit 'supplementary' sekali? Tapi itu lah... dia memang sudah sedia maklum kepandaian isterinya. Jadi mungkin dia harus berwaspada atas kewibawaan dan kecemerlangan Ibu dalam acara membeli-belah.

Dengan gambaran di atas, tidak hairanlah kalau pemergian bibi setakat ini masih belum terasa.

Apakah panas akan terus berpanjangan hingga ke petang? Oh tak mungkin.... kan musim tengkujuh ni! Gerimis dan hujan lebat pasti menyusul tak lama lagi.

Kita nanti kan saja lah ulasan berita mutakhir bagaimana Ibu menangani pemergian bibi pulang bercuti.

Buat masa sekarang ..... kita enjoyyyyy dulu..... muahahahahaha......

Home Science 101

2008-12-06T07:47:00.003+08:00

I was up till almost 3 am last nite (eh, morning?) helping Bibi to pack her luggage. Yes - she's going home for her biannual vacation this afternoon for 2 months.

Temp maid service has been arranged but she'll only be available from 20th Dec onwards though. I'll be on leave the whole week next week, so I reckon - no problemo. The week after, I'll most probably drop the kids at Kak Long's house, so no prob too I hope.

After the packing and after I taught Bibi how to lock & unlock the suitcase, it was Bibi's turn to give me a few pointers on this and that. Baju itu di laci ini, seluar itu di almari sana. Sabun2 dan 'pewangi' (softener) di tepi situ. Rempah2 nya di sini, bawang2 & kentang2 nya di situ, minyak masaknya di bawah ni. 'Kompor'nya, kalau di cuci, hati-hati jangan sentuh di situ. Singkinya begitu begini.

Half way through, it hit me........

OH MY GOD!

Bibi is going home in less than 24 hours. And I've just officially discovered where the rempah-ratus and the onions are kept?

And OH MY GOD!!

We started using the new washing machine since we moved in a few months back. I don't even know how to operate THIS washing machine!

And heck! When was the last time I ironed Ayah's shirt?

OH MY GOD!!!

Tu baru in the kitchen. I already felt my head spinning. I pictured one of those big colourful tops from the east coast from Awang Goneng stories. My head vs the top, I wondered which one spinned faster. All I could think of was that my head was 'lagi terror' because it could spin that violently even without the help of any manly hurlings, so violent that it could potentially cause the first ever earth tremor in Rawang!

Oh Oh...... I'm in trouble, big time.

Some more perasan can cope with 2 weeks maid free?

You can bet McDonald's, Pizza Hut's & Ali Maju's sales would be up a few % the next few weeks. And so would Ah Lin's laundry shop.

All in the name of precaution against home hazards.

Say a prayer or two for Ibu pls?

Salam :C

Of motivation & rewards

2008-11-22T07:19:00.010+08:00

Some intrinsic, some extrinsic.

So, are we less worthy of a human being if what propelled us to elevate to greater heights tend to be motivated by extrinsic material rewards?

Cannot be la, hoh? At least not in all circumstances.

For example - how can you say your child is less worthy of a child if what motivates him to study hard and obtain good grades in his exam is a Sony Ericsson handphone, with a camera & web access function in it?

To cut the long intro short, that was what Abang Idin had been eyeing for. And eyeing so for one good year, he had.

Of course I had a part to play in it. Being the not so generous Ibu that I am, no way would I just senang lenang buy a handphone for a 12 year old who most of the time cannot even remember where he last placed his wallet (which, in the first place, should have been easier kept in his pocket, shouldn't it?!!) So I said, if you want it, you go get your 5As for UPSR.

So, yeah... my Abang Idin was deprived of a handphone. And we kept dangling it as an invisible carrot. Handphone? UPSR! Handphone? 5As! Muahahaha....

Come to think of it, I'm sure he must have been wanting it since umpteenth years ago.

When he was barely 6 months old, we registered him for a baby crawling contest (at Jusco Wangsa Maju that time). It started off as just for fun. When we saw the other babies & their kiasu parents, Ayah & I looked at each other and thought...opps! Would we be exposing our child to the concept of failure & frustration too fast too soon? But then we thought ... hehh... he was just a baby lah! He wouldn't understand. So we thought. When the race was about to start, we noticed the other parents were all geared up, ready with teddy bears, teethers, pacifiers and other toys to be used as motivation for their babies to crawl forward! Alamak... we brought nothing at all (other than his milk bottle!). And sure enough, when the whistle was blown, all the other parents started to motivate their not-as-cute-as- ours babies(hehehe) and most of the babies started to crawl towards their toys instantly. Abang Idin? He just woke up from his afternoon slumber and he just sat there at the starting point, heavenly sucking his thumb, oblivious to the fuss of the cheering crowd around. Alamak anak aku nih, tengah mamai lagi la agaknya? Thinking on his feet, Ayah reached into his pockets and pulled out his wallet from one pocket and one heavy as a sepatu Nokia handphone from another pocket (imagine macam hero cowboy pulling out his guns ready for a showdown... hehehe...). He started to dangle the wallet & handphone in front of Abang Idin's eyes and voila!! Abang Idin instantly moved his diapered butt, got down on his knees and started crawling. Ayah moved one step faster. Abang Idin followed. A few more steps even faster. And ... you wouldn't believe this, Abang Idin lifted his knees and started crawling like a bear! Two arms, two feet, no knees at all and yeah!! He was fast!! He started to catch up with the other babies and even got to the leading top three crawlers in no time at all. The crowd was cheering loud. I thought... Oh yes! He could be winning this. Oh yes... Oh dunia! Lihat lah.. That's my boy!

But then suddenly, he stopped midway. Eh? Apasal?! Oh dear! He stopped midway sebab 'dok' looking at a cute chinese baby girl trailing slightly behind in the next lane. We tried calling him a few times, yet he ignored us and just kept looking (drooling?) at the girl. Oh my, what a sight! Aiyaya.... kecik2 dah pandai distracted by a girl? The crowd actually laughed at the scene. I'm sure at that minute it was ayah's turn to be cheeky; claiming 'That's my boy!'

Apalah Abang Idin!!

After a few good laughs, I nudged Ayah and he came right back on to his senses and started to dangle his wallet and phone in front of Abang Idin again. Thank goodness Abang Idin came back to his senses too. He dashed forward with his bearish style crawl and managed to catch up again. As soon as he reached the finishing line, Ayah rewarded him by letting him 'play' with his handphone. Hmmpphh!! Habis dia gobbled up the phone! (Would you use a hand phone covered all over with a 6 months old baby's saliva? Euwwwwww..... exactly!) But oh well! He deserved it. He finished off as a runner up, the only 'boy' winning. Not bad at all, considering his late start. Won himself RM200 Jusco vouchers and a big hamper (jimat sikit poket Ayah masa tu, no need to buy diaper for 2 weeks or so). I think we have a photo of it. I'll try dig his baby years album and post the photo later (tahun depan boley?).

Much later when he started primary school, he wanted a hand phone still. By then, he could come with some creative reasons for the need of it, I tell ya.

Once, he said he's too short to reach the public phone at school. So he argued we should buy him a handphone so that he could easily call us in case there was an emergency at school. Yeaaahhhh right!

Our rebuttals: Who ask you to skip your lunch & dinner too often and be too choosy of your food? You eat a lot more laaaaa so that you grow taller faster! Besides, if there was an emergency at school, just run to the teacher, pakcik canteen, makcik cleaner, gardener, jaga or bus driver and shout for HELP - whether they have teeth or not, it should not matter! That's what you called emergency. (Mean parents, no? hehehe)

But what about if it's emergency outside school? He tried still.

Our rebuttals: What outside school? After school, you come right back home, straight home, in Mrs Jaya's van, you hear?!! (Mean still, yes? yes, yes, yes....)

Another time, after coming home from a school trip, he related the incident of his friend who lost his handphone during that trip. His friend called his parent using another friend's phone and then related to Abang Idin, "Mak aku kata tak per lah... nak buat cam mana? Nanti dia ganti lain." And so Abang Idin questioned, why was it that other parents could easily provide their children with handphone and his parents could not?

Our answers: Oh! If you want parents that could easily provide you with a handphone, you could easily change your parents! Just go la try ask if they want to easily adopt you. Then maybe you can easily move to their house and after that easily ask if they could easily buy you a handphone. (Meaner? definitely, hehehe)

Not so generous maybe. But mean? Actually, no, I don't think so.

To Abang Idin,

It's not that we could not afford one. I'm sure there are plenty of 'under water' handphones somewhere kat Pekan Rawang tu. We know but we don't care if others can easily provide their children with material rewards without demanding some kind of efforts & achievement. And even if they do, we don't want to and we choose not to understand why the bar is not raised as high as what we've set for you. One thing you can't change - you are our son. Tough luck! And as our son, you've got to start learning from now on, boy;

No pain, No gain!

And we want you to learn this, not because both your parents were not born into this world with silver spoons. Our childhood is our childhood. Yours is yours. Eating roti canai outside once in a blue moon was already a great childhood reward for us . You? You got to eat McDonald's every so often without much Q&A. Be thankful. We've come a long way.

But one thing you've got to learn early, the world out there is not one holy charitable organisation. And since you may not be sheltering under our roof forever & ever, you've got to knock this into your head, heart & mind: You want something? Work hard for it, dear! Earn it with your own sweat & tears. Your own stripes & strides. You will then truly appreciate the reward. It tastes much sweeter that way, you'll savour the after taste.

The intrinsic part of it would come naturally indeed, I would think. That you would challenge yourself to proof that you can do it, that you have what it takes, that you are not easily susceptible to negative influence and distraction for short term gratification. There is always light at the end of the tunnel, provided you move towards the end of the tunnel!

Having said that, the ends does not justify the means.

Don't go cracking your head overtime strategising to rob a bank to get the money to buy a handphone!!! Duhhh....

If the ends is a much longed Sony Ericsson handphone with camera & web access function, and the means is by way of you scoring 5As in UPSR - then I must say, you've earned it very well my boy!

Congratulations on a job well done! You deserve the reward. We're proud of you, Abang Idin.

Don't forget to say Alhamdulillah, thank you Allah.

Let me say one thing; THIS is just the beginning!

Luv,
Ibu

p/s I heard next is Manchester University? So that you can watch live Man U football match every so often? ( Hmmm... that's not that far from my wanting to study in US so that I could go to Disneyland? hehehe....mana la nak tumpah nya kuah kalau tak ke nasi? ) So I would say, GO FOR IT, BOY! You've got 5 years to prepare. Muahaha....

p/s If you haven't, you should thank Ayah ok? I invoked the motivation & dangled the invisible reward. He's the one paying for the tangible one. hehehe... pandai Ibu kan?

Another live show tonite....

2008-11-14T18:07:00.003+08:00

But this time, teater bangsawan "Batu Belah Batu Bertangkup".

Nak ikut? Jom beramai-ramai ke Panggung Dewan Bandaraya Kuala Lumpur.

Malam ni, malam esok, malam lusa.

Of blonde bombshells, dish washing & waiting

2008-11-10T20:36:00.008+08:00

"Is office attire ok?"
Ayah's email message was as short & straight to the point as his verbal conversation.

I had to match - coz I was in a hurry :), so I replied,
"Dress code: lounge suit, so office attire's ok. Grab your blazer".

That was last Thursday, when he relented to accompany me to the british musical commedy playing in town. He said he's not much into this kind of thing, opposite moi - who just love stage shows, both performing and watching others perform. Especially if the tickets are complimentary. hehehh...

Besides, we missed to catch one when we had abundance of such opportunities just last month. I left the 'city' drooling over the posters, adverts & pamphlets of all sorts. Sigh....

So indeed that evening, we finally went to watch the Blonde Bombshells of 1943, the musical play by Alan Plater.

It was scheduled to start at 7pm. But a 'higher calling' tasked me to text the host as a sign of courtesy, who graciously indulged my excuse to join the party slightly later. I was least worried about joining the pre-dinner cocktail late actually. I don't fancy lingering around people sipping reds or whites (with me sipping coke or orange juice) for the sake of small talks. It's not the reds or whites that bothers me really - I'm just not genuinely interested to put up fake smiles while engaging in skin deep small talks with people I barely know. I would lose terribly if I were to stand for any political election I know. hehehhh....

Digressed.

Anyway... I met Ayah at the lobby after Maghrib. With his blazer on and his unmistakable silver highlights , I thought he was quite a sight for sore eyes. I hope only my eyes lah kan? We marched up to the ballroom foyer and was saved by the bell (they were really ringing the bell as a signal for guests to make their entrance & be seated), which means we skipped the entire lingering around, much to my relief... hehehe.... (I am soooo not suitable for a PR job, I could read your mind!)

I requested to be directed to our designated table which happened to be right in front of the stage. Wahhh!! Above expectation. And thankfully, the other fellow guests around the table were a bunch of easy going & friendly lot too - which made us settled in pretty fast actually, exchanging topics ranging from serious but still skin deep corporate updates to what we did last summer.

And what we shared about what we did last summer prompted me to write this entry.

When I said 'summer' - it was not about last week's hot scorching sun on our local soil, rather really about the hot & sunny season, except that the 'last' was referring to the good old college days.

It turned out one of the guests also went to the same college in the godforsaken midwest redneck county GMT minus 5 away from here (had it not been for the college town itself, we Asians would've probably succumbed to the bullies and ended up as their shooting practice targets!) The mere mentioning of the "home away from home" was enough to stir an instant bond amongst us.

We were relating those crazy things we did during summer breaks. My definition of crazy things to do during summer was about taking additional credit hours for 300 & 400 level Psychology courses (so that I could secure a minor in Psychology) and at the same time working my butts out waiting tables to pay for the additional text books for the courses. Fun & crazy indeed, no? But hey... I had my fair share of some adventurous trips made using whatever left overs saved from the same job of waiting tables.

Ayah shared his experience of the minimum wage dish washing job he secured on campus.

Waitress at fine dining restaurant on campus VS dish washer at the college cafetaria. So NOT the same class, I tell you! hahaha.....

The host and another couple also started to join & chip in their college days working experiences too. From as manual as waiting tables, washing dishes and delivering newspaper, to the more decent ones like book keeping assistance and researching books & articles for PhD students.

One of them asked if we met on campus. I said yes, but Ayah said not quite. He said we sort of knew one another before. I rebutted that technically we never met before, so it has to be 'on campus'.

By this time dinner has arrived. Our companies happily carved their steaks away while continuing to enjoy the acts of the two of us trying to defend each others' stand. I thought it was more of my verbal sparring against Ayah's merely raising of his eyebrow and shaking his head in disagreement.

Then suddenly Ayah blurted, "I even had to survive just on washing dishes, waiting for her!"

I could instantly hear the "Ahhhh....", "Ohhhhh...." & "How sweeeeeeeet...." in response to that.

Oh wow myself! That was quite a statement my darling! One hell of a curve ball I must say. And one bomb in its own form.

In a nano of a second, all those memories came flashing back to me in fragments. Him washing dishes on minimum wage at the college cafetaria, and me waiting tables at the on-campus Marriot Hotel's Tudor Room fine dining restaurant (read: lots of tips!)

That was when it suddenly hit me hard like a ricochet of a bomb shell. After 20 years of knowing him, it suddenly dawned upon me that I may have inadvertently taken Ayah's perseverance of me a bit too lightly - I think.

You see, Ayah is a feeler and a natural introvert. Put those two personalities together, you get one silent lover.

So how do you suppose I could read his mind why he stayed on surviving on minimum wage washing dishes while I happily scurried away to Washington DC as the first (ever) international college intern, rubbing shoulders with other interns at the White House two decades ago?

A mild extrovert thinker - I could not bring myself to 'feeeeeeeel' it was JUST to wait for a girl. I had to rationalise and it was around him buying time - waiting for arising opportunity as IT Lab consultant, to start building his fresh grad experience. After all, he made quite some earnings doing part time IT work before - finishing Masters & PhD students' project at very reasonable fees. hehehhhh... enterprising indeed.

People said (then) either I was in denial or simply a heart breaker. Some were diplomatic enough, acknowledging the possibility of not ready to commit and that I have the rights to still browse through the options on the menu. I must have just laughed & brushed them all off. That was a not a problem of the world that was worth me putting on my serious thinking cap. That was 20 years ago.

Now? With 3 kids, we are more than attached to our hips, I think.

The images of him "waiting for me" started to swirl in my mind though. Him washing dishes on campus waiting for me to return from my internship. Then when we were back in Msia? Him dozing off in his Proton Saga in front of my office waiting for me to finish my never ending work so that he could send me home safely right to my aunt's front door (thus marking his territory and cordoned off others away from me). After we got engaged? Him waiting for me to conclude the definite period of engagement. After we got married? Him waiting for me to be ready to start a family. After we got our first child? Him patiently reminding me to consider wearing the hijab and be willing to don it on my own accord. After the hijab? Him patiently inspiring me to perform our hajj early while we were still able bodied.

Today? He still have to wait for me to come home from my never ending work almost every night, so that we can have our dinner at the kitchen or dining table together with our kids (okay lah... sometimes he ate first). He still have to wait for me to choose at least 2 or 3 pair of blouses and pants, and then decide on matching scarve before we leave the house to go anywhere (used to be for fashion & color coordination, now more of which ones I can fit into comfortably...aiyaaaa!!). He still have to wait for me at a bench or game shop somewhere while I go berserk over the items on sales. Pendek cerita, he's still waiting for me on a lot of things lah.

I thought I was the one who was the "waitress". Looks like he's the real "waiter" after all. Except that when lovingly voiced out, it sounds like this, "Abaaaaang.....WAIT ARRR! Sikit lagi nak siap... tunggu ......"

Yes. He had to wait for me then. He still have to wait for me now. And a bit more waiting still in the foreseable future. He's doing it ever so patiently too, I must say. Sesuai dengan nama dia.

So what do I know really?

An evening to watch the blondies, but it's the silver haired that dropped the bomb on me - after almost 20 years!

Still loving him though.

And oh! The musical? Quite a swing indeed.

:)

Selingan : BRA

2008-10-29T19:24:00.005+08:00

Last night Hafiz & Ameer quizzed each other on "Animals of The Land" (Haiwan Darat).

Animal 1
Hafiz : Dia black & white, ada empat kaki, dia ada BRA. Apa dia?

Ameer : IBUUUUU !!!

Ibu : Huh? (looking at myself - kebetulan I was wearing a black top. I take it that my kids consider me as fair, hence 'black & white'. hehehe...)

Hafiz: Bukanlah... Ibu ada dua kaki jer lah! And Ibu bukan animal. Apa lah Ameer ni.

Ameer : Habis tu?

Hafiz : ZEBRA !

Animal 2
Ameer : Dia ada ekor, tak ada kaki, dia pun ada BRA. Apa dia?

Hafiz : Ameer tipu lah! Mana ada animal lain yang ada BRA?

Ameer : Ada.... eleh... dia yang tak tau ....

Hafiz : Hah! Apa dia?

Ameer : COBRA !

***********

Tu lah anak-anak Ibu. Kecik-kecik pun dah ada inclination towards BRA... hmmmm alahai!

:)

Raya quickie...

2008-10-27T09:45:00.012+08:00

It's been a while ... finally...

Thank you all for the well wishes for Abang Idin.

We waited nervously for his chest x-ray result that Raya eve. When the doctor was satisfied that there was no lung infection, she finally signed the discharged sheet. 9pm malam raya! Pheww........ :)

I still did manage to weave some ketupat (at the ward!) and so dapat lah a few. Boleh jadi tak sah kalau Raya tak de ketupat ni :)

Managed to grab songkok for the boys at Mydin too. One funny discovery, among the 3 boys, si 5 year old Ameer's songkok size is the biggest :)

Managed to find a barber that was still open at the 11th hour and Ameer had his hair trimmed - last customer :)

Arrived home, Bibi had started the ball rolling in the kitchen, legaaa.... I joined her in the frenzy. Tak sempat dah nak call 'Mak Ngah' to reconfirm berapa banyak halia and berapa banyak lengkuas to throw in (I have this ritual of final checking with my sis every raya eve for the rendang campak-campak, except this time around x sempat!) So bedal jer lah Bik. Sure jadi jer rendang tu. I went on to prepare the paste for ketam, lodeh and sambal udang. Standy to simmer & fry ... not just yet ... but in time before subuh :)

Meanwhile I set the table. Just like ketupat, table setting is another must have for Raya too :)

Shortly after, found sampin anak-anak in one of the boxes :)

Then I prepared the baskets for the Raya dishes for the neighbours :)

I didn't sleep. OH! Maybe lelapkan mata for a while just after Subuh. Then went on a duet with Bibi to prepare the Raya dish :)

In the end, we still managed to have a decent Raya in our new house after all. Alhamdulillah :)

We took our own sweet time for Raya breakfast this time instead of rushing to Mak Long's house - knowing that she would have known that Abang Idin just got discharged the night before. It was almost 1pm by the time we got to Dmnsara, much to the relief of the in laws, nieces & nephews - as they had indeed been waiting, but for the crab lahh! Not us. hahaha :)

Big smilessss :) :) :)

Photos? Coming soon..... Awaiting Ayah to upload the slides (saja ler nak manja, suruh dia buat kan.... :D)

Manusia hanya merancang .....

2008-09-30T11:02:00.005+08:00

Have you heard this before?

"If you fail to plan, you plan to fail"

So for Raya this year, I've got it all planned out, I tell ya.

1. Holiday planner - updated CEO's secretary (early this year!) on how many days of leave I plan to take, before & after raya
2. Block a tentative date in personal calendar for post raya BBQ gathering with uni mates
3. Block a tentative date in personal calendar - possibly for makan-makan session for my team & other colleagues from office
4. Purchased air ticket on line for my work/conference trip immediately post raya
5. Purchased air ticket on line for Ayah to join me a week later post work/conference - to merayap-rayap somewhere
6. Influenced ayah (successfully) to purchase on line the 'train' ticket & hotel for the merayap-rayap trip
7. Dusted off my luggage & have it on standby - ready for packing
8. 'Tempah' new cushion covers for the AV room & collected them just a week before puasa
9. Bought baju raya (both baju 'Melayu' & baju 'berbilang bangsa', hehe) for the kids & Ayah
10. Bought my own baju raya too .... phewittt!! Jangan tak beli....
11. Bought baju raya for Bibi too..... triple phewittt!!! Bling-bling you.... suka dia!
12. Bought the 10 pcs of 'pelita Raya' (the bamboo ones) & went to get a bottle of kerosene from Mak Long's house (her stock from last year! can't find any shops in Rawang town that sell kerosene any more)
13. Ordered some kuih raya - the usual ones; London Almond, Suji, Pineapple Tart, some kerepek & rempeyek, etc, etc
14. Bought some flat basket trays for ketupat & ketam Raya for breaking the ice with our new neighbours ( we just moved here a couple of months back remember? )
15. Last weekend bought daun kelapa for ketupat, ayam, daging, kerisik segala
16. Also ordered our big size ketam (jantan only!) - 40 pcs please, to be de-shelled and washed before collection
17. Bought a dozen of new clear goblets & placemats for pagi raya breakfast (table setting a high priority for me somehow)
18. And..... you'd better believe what come next : Blue key baking flour, custard flour, vanilla essence, butter, chocolate rice, castor sugar, the cute colourful cups, weighing scale, the measuring cups, the baking trays ..... my spirit to bake my own biskut sarang semut soaring sky high this Ramadhan.....muahahaha!!! Siap googled up & printed out the recipe for it!
19. Change 'duit raya' for the green packets - Ayah's department ni.
20. Transfer some money to Nenek & Atok for their raya preps

And I can happily tick off all the above from my checklist.

The only ones remaining for final execution on my checklist :

21. Buy one or two new pair of pants & comfortable moccasin for the trip
22. Pack for balik kampung & for the trip
23. Bake the sarang semut cookies
24. Pasang pelita
25. Anyam sarung ketupat
26. Prepare the dishes on Raya eve - earlier please; not malam-malam buta hingga ke dinihari like last year (nanti pagi2 raya pegi rumah in laws with eye bag segala? hmpphh... tak ayu la kan?)
27. Pagi raya, deliver the ketupat & ketam to our new neighbours (I'm visioning my boys tagging along, complete with their baju Melayu, songkok & sampin carrying the baskets, going ding-dong-bell to our multi racial neighbours' front doors ...ohhhh......comelnya....)
28. Wait for Ayah to come home from Solat and we'll all have our extended breakfast
29. Then salam2 & photo session
30. Pack the dishes, luggages, not forgetting leaving lots of food & water for Blackie & the kittens

Then we can all skip along to Damansara (Ayah's family) and by petang, off to JB (Ibu's family). Yeayyy!!

So that is the grand plan.

20 out of 30 completed, that's 66.66%. Not bad isn't it? Just another one third to go.

YET, guess what? Where do you think I am at this very minute?

Hmmm...... at Damansara Specialist Hospital, tending to Abang Idin who has been warded since Sunday night, for prolonged high fever and bacterial infection. He's been on the drip eversince.

As at noon today, i.e. a day before Raya, he still cannot be discharged just yet. That means, Ibu also cannot discharge the remaining duties as planned above. Pelita ke mana, biskut sarang semut ke mana....

So you see...... I've got plans for the immediate future - for Raya this year that is.

And yet the naked truth about the future is that it still comes one day at a time.

Itulah yang kita namakan,

"Manusia hanya merancang, Allah jua yang menentukan"

The remaining of the plans are shelved for the time being and let's just hope & pray Abang Idin will be back bouncing on his feet again soon.

Salam Aidilfitri and Maaf Zahir Batin.

p/s Messages from Abang Idin :
Thank you Auntie Shana & the clan for the visit. And the doughnuts of course!
Thank you Auntie Onair, Auntie Abid & Auntie Joe for the well wishes.
Ameer & Hafiz .... Sorry Abang Idin has to keep Ibu away from you two for a while, lil' bros.
And Ayah..... errr... dah jumpa bunga api ke belum?

Hafiz's Finger Story

2008-09-27T09:45:00.008+08:00

I was busy 'maybanking2them' when Hafiz approached me.

"Hi Ibu, please say hi to Finger."

I noticed the smiley face drawn on his index finger. How cute! That was so Hafiz. The creative one amongst my boys, the Da Vinci junior - Rawang version.

"Oh.... Hi Finger!! How do you do?"

"He's not happy la Ibu..."

"Really? Why?"

"He wants to go the fun fair...."

"Hishh... bulan2 puasa ni nak pegi fun fair buat hapa?"

"Entah lah dia... but he really wants to go there (pointing with 'that' finger to the direction of the fun fair from afar). Maybe just for fun I guess?"

"Bulan puasa laa...... And it's a Finger. It can't go there, can it?"

"Of course it can!"

"How?"

"This Finger is stuck on my hand la Ibu? So how DO YOU THINK Finger can go there?"

Ek eleh budak 7 tahun ni! Ceghedik nak mengenakan ibu dia .... bertuah betul.

;)

What matters most

2008-09-24T22:40:00.007+08:00

My dear boys....

As far back as I can recall - zaman dolu-dolu, Ibu would never miss to get my baju raya. Those baju raya were 'new' to Ibu, but not necessarily brand new. Somehow, it didn't matter at all to Ibu whether they were brand new or not for Ibu knew Ibu Noi would carefully select among the best of her frocks/dresses/baju kurung that she had outgrown and reserve them for Ibu, specially for Hari Raya. Similary, Ibu Noi would get her share of the best reserved for her for Hari Raya by Mak Ngah. And it didn't matter to Ibu Noi either. I cannot recall where Mak Ngah got her baju raya from. It didn't seem to matter to Mak Ngah at all too.

There was one year when all of us girls got a pair of brand new baju kurung each for Hari Raya. What a treat! We found out years later that Nenek had bought a par of cloth, supposedly meant to be as a present for her sister-in-law to-be. She had offered to sew the curtains for the bridal room. Unfortunately, her sister-in-law to-be totally rejected the present and simply returned the whole par to Nenek - she said she didn't like the colour. So waste not want not - all 3 of us girls got a pair of brand new baju kurung for Hari Raya that year - same colour, same design, same material - all handmade by Nenek.

It didn't matter to us at all.

We saw them working hard day & night to raise us 6 siblings. What mattered to us girls then, was not to make Nenek & Atok worry too much over expenses of baju raya for their daughters. For we know there were other expenses that deserved higher priorities.

That - as far back as I can recall ......... zaman dolu-dolu.

And since 'zaman dolu-dolu', we've definitely come a long way, my boys. All because Nenek & Atok set the right priorities on what matters most for their growing up children then.

Matters that could not be sacrificed for immediate gratification.

Matters that could not be achieved without sacrifice.

Today?

I know Ibu Noi or Mak Ngah would buy at least a pair of 'baju' for Nenek & Atok every Hari Raya. And they would also ask Nenek not to worry about preparing Raya dishes as they would do that part and send one periuk or one kuali over to Nenek's house by eve of Raya.

Ibu? Even if we live next door to Nenek & Atok, you know Ibu can't offer to cook anything safe, healthy and edible for them. So Ibu would transfer some money to Nenek & Atok instead, for their discretionary disposal for some other expenses that may become a priority for Raya preparation.

This despite their assurance from the other end of the phone line that "There is nothing to worry about, my children. Just don't forget to balik kampung for Hari Raya, you hear? That's what matters most to us".

I know sooner or later, I may be echoing that very same line to you, my boys.

Salam,
Ibu

Politics 101

2008-09-16T21:27:00.005+08:00

How truly democratic is it for a country to see a transition of power - not from the people's votes & confidence in its true sense - but from pledges of defecting MPs crossing over to different alliances?

How repulsive !!

So much for the hailed transparency, check & balance. Everything oso "what's in it for me" !!

Sudah lahhhh....... Menangguk di air keruh. Cakap tak serupa bikin. Cehhh.....

Moments of homely glory for Ibu

2008-09-08T23:51:00.005+08:00

Oh! Oh! Oh! Second posting in one day? If I write fast enough, I may make it before 12 midnight.

So here goes....

I have made known how I am with cooking. But I have also said somehow, when some opportunities arise, I'd like to grab them - better late than never. Most of the times though, kurang menjadi of course. But sometimes, boleh tahan.....

And TODAY - I must savour one of those glorious moments that are hard to come by for Ibu.

All these jazzy feeling only because of ..... jeng!jeng!jeng! my home-made Roti John!!!

Inspired by none other than the frequent mentioning of it by Wan Shana. Hehehe.... She said Hanna really liked it - I thought hmmm... this must be 'good' for growing up kids.

I thought, why would people call it 'John' - not Jonas, Obama, Hugh, Nicholson, Nadal.... not even Clooney.

Just 'John'. Simply 'John'. Surely it must be simple?! I must try...

So I thought.... hahaha...

I recalled my colleague brought Roti John during our last dept pot luck before puasa, and I texted her on Sunday for the ingredients. Kot2 la.... cuti Sunday, I could try kan??? That request must have sent shockwaves to her, she replied with much zest, not just on what the ingredients should be but how to do it too. That was where I stumbled. Alamak.... minced meat di goreng and ditos kan until kering and then yadayadayadaya....... God bless her! Berpinar mata baca her reply. So I cancelled the plan . Firstly, because I didn't have minced meat. Secondly, the preparation of the minced meat sounded very labourious to me (what did I say about me & cooking?!). The spirit willing, the flesh sokmo weak...

But then this morning, Hafiz asked me if he could have Pizza for berbuka. He showed me the leaflet and told me, "We can just call for delivery Ibu.... you don't have to drive there!" . Bila dah pandai membaca... tu ler pulak masaalah nya. I asked how much, and he said "Murah jer, RM4.70". Eh!!! Biar betul?? Tak betul. Actually, it was RM24 ++, a savings of RM4.70 compared to regular menu deal. Rupanya..... Hmmmm.......

Somehow it popped out of my mouth, "Forget pizza. Ibu will make Roti John special for Hafiz today!" .

Too fast too soon. Terlajak perahu boleh di tarik. Hafiz was already jumping up & down excited ya amat upon hearing "IBU WILL MAKE " - a rare occassion indeed, as rare as the chance of finding a Panda that knows Kung Fu.

And so at about 5.00 pm, after Hafiz reminded me of Roti John special, I went into the kitchen & ducked my head into the fridge to look for what could be modified as Roti John's ingredients.

Found chicken breast and some other boneless parts in the freezer. Red bell pepper. Onion. Garlic. Tomato. Timun susu. Outside - Tesco Choice chicken eggs abundant. Safe for the timun & the eggs, I diced everything else. Stir fried them with sprinkles of Tesco Choice chicken seasoning, with salt & sugar sesedap jari menabur. I called upon my little food taster (yg puasa sambung-sambung tu) to taste and comment. After tasting it, he asked if he could eat it straightaway then. Ohhh....sedap lah tu maknanya.... hahaha.... Gumbiranya hati ku.

Beat 2 eggs and fried them. And sliced the timun thinly (this I know how to do excellently!) . I put them aside first and went on do some other things. At about 5 mins to 7, I sliced the buns, 'buttered and grilled' them, reheated the chix mix and cut the telur dada into 6 stripes. I stuffed the chix mix inside the buns, put 2 layers of telur dada and laid the excellently sliced timun on top of the eggs. 3 buns, cut into two, dapat berapa? Just nice eh.... One each (including bibik).

Come Azan, and the verdict?

Clap...clap....clap...... I was verbally awarded "Best Mom In The World" by Hafiz.

And Abang Idin asked for "it" - again soon, he said. An ENCORE!? Can you believe it?

So there you go... some rare moments of homely glory for Ibu!

True what U.Lee last commented;
"And there is no spectacle on earth more appealing than that of a beautiful woman by the name of Ibu in the act of cooking for someone she loves"

Beautiful kah Ibu? Ohhh...regardless..... I'm looking at this moment from my spek-mata and enjoying every second of it. An effort that was "sweating yet rewarding"! ehehehehe.....

(I'm sure Ayah is smiling reading this. Oiiii bang.... bagi chan lah darling you nak perasan jap, tak bley kerrrr? Jeles pulak!! )

Salams ....

2nd week Ramadhan Overview

2008-09-08T09:28:00.005+08:00

Today, 8th day of Ramadhan for Muslims, insyaAllah. The 2nd week commencing.

1. Latih tubi

Hafiz woke up, looked at his alarm clock, looked outside the window and asked me, "Ibu .... dah pukul 7.00. Dah nak dekat berbuka ke? ".

Ibu jawab, "Belum.... Ni baru pukul 7.00 pagi, Hafiz."

"Oh.... ", Hafiz jawab selamba, tapi mata kelat terkebil2.

2. Of puasa & its rewards

Last night, Ameer tried out his yellow shirt we bought for him at Jusco on Saturday. He would typically wear such a shirt as an 'outer shell' on top of another t-shirt. Then he looked inside Abang Idin's shopping bag and starting counting the contents. Then he switched to Abang Hafiz bag and did the same thing.

The anticipated question popped out shortly, "Ibu... kenapa baju ghaya Abang Idin & baju Abang Hafiz lagi banyak?"

"Lebih banyak dari apa?", saja Ibu nak mengusik.

"Lebih banyak dari Ameer punya lah. Kenapa bu?"

"Abang Idin & Abang Hafiz kan puasa? So bila dah habis puasa, boleh celebrate raya. Boleh pakai baju raya." I tried explaining in very simple sentences.

"Habis, Ameer?"

"Ameer puasa?"

"Puasa.... lepas minum susu jer Ameer sambung puasa!"

"Hmmm... kalau puasa sambung-sambung, boleh celebrate raya jugak. Tapi baju raya tak banyak lah, ok?

"Kenapa?"

"Sebab puasa tak penuh."

"Nanti tahun depan, Ameer puasa terus jer sampai petang, Ibu belikan baju ghaya banyak-banyak untuk Ameer?"

"Hmmm.... insyaAllah...."

"InsyaAllah tu .... boleh ke tak boleh?"

"Kalau Ameer puasa terus sampai petang, insyaAllah boleh.... tahun depan."

"Yeah, yeah....Thank you Ibu!"

Hopefully he heard the word 'tahun depan' !

3. UPSR looming

Tomorrow starting.

Other than frantically searching for his full length 2B pencils last weekend, Abang Idin seemed to look cool & calm.

Membawa maksud, hey anak ibu ni .... tak buat revision pun?!

Is it too late to drill him at this juncture?

4. UPSR leave

Mengalahkan anaknya, Ibu siap apply annual leave for this week because of Abang Idin's exam. Atas nasihat Mrs Engineer - show moral support for anak yg nak berjuang.

Tapi pagi ni Ibu dulu berjuang berpeluh-peluh after sahur.

Sakit perut memulas-mulas daaa..... entah berapa kali keluar masuk toilet, I lost count. Cabaran.... cabaran....

Salam...

Early Ramadhan Overview

2008-09-03T23:53:00.002+08:00

Just some notes for anak2 Ibu - hopefully they will smile when they read this in the future.

1. Our 7 year old Hafiz - belajar puasa this year. Full day. Ohhh.... kesiannya....... First day, pukul 2.00 lebih dah tanya, dah boleh makan ke? Tak boleh..... sikit lagi.... And he finally made it through. 2nd day was a breeze. Alhamdulillah.

2. Our 5 year old Ameer - "puasa sambung-sambung". Lepas minum susu, Ameer sambung puasa. Lepas breakfast, Ameer sambung puasa. Lepas lunch, Ameer sambung puasa. Hmmm... iye lah tu....

3. Our 12 year old Abang Idin, puasa & solat fully on your own account this year bro. What upah2? Tak puasa & tak solat kalu, berat lah buku kat bahu kiri. Sendiri mau ingat

4. Ibu - balik cepat sikit la ibu oiii..... Kalau nak beli food, call Bibik first and check what is she cooking. Tak de lah jadi pelbagai resipi nasi ayam terhidang atas meja. Hahaha..... DAN..... kalau beli kuih, lepas bayar, jgn lupa bawak balik kuih tu. Hampeh!!

5. Ayah - jgn laju sangat.... tunggu kaum kerabat sat. Para makmum (especially si kecik tu) ada yang belum habis mengunyah! Kami semua pun nak 70 kali ganda jugak......

6. Bibik - iye lah bik, berbuka waktu Malaysia. Bukan waktu Indonesia.... Waduhhhh..... kan sudah 10 tahun di sini bik? Emmm... alahai......

Salam Ramadhan,
Ibu

Merdeka oh Merdeka!

2008-09-01T22:59:00.003+08:00

I caught a glimpse of YB Shafie Afdal ( betul ke spelling?) commenting on TV, scolding rather, the public for their apathy for not flagging up the Jalur Gemilang. Why only wait for the government to do that, he asked? Alahai .....dato...dato...... Malas lah nak komen dato sorang ni. Tak de faedah satu sen pun.

I feel so sayu for this year's merdeka. Whoever is the appointed Public Relations advisor/consultant for the govt , aiyaaa... you all so lowsy one lah. You think banal patriotism is intrinsic mehhhhh? Aiya..... where got?!

Instill, instill, instill .....
Brainwash, brainwash, brainwash ....
Propagate, propagate, propagate .........
Visually, auditory, legibly, symbolically...... and heh! Let's do it the M'sian way - gastronomically even .....

And YOU let it slipped away. Distracted by the by-election lah eh? Tu lah.... Padan muka.

Oh... how I miss him. Him who? Guess who?

God, I miss him. I really do.

Sighhhhh.......

Cross-posting: Of Laksa Asam & A Good Friend

2008-08-12T11:37:00.012+08:00

Recommended pre-read: the epilogue; Wanshana/2008/08/Laksa-asam-and-friend

My home science teacher (God bless you Cik Kalthum) would not have believed this phenomenon for a micro second I would think. But iye Cikgu, haritu saya masak Laksa Asam!!! (And I hear a thunderous applaud from all those reading this entry - clap! clap! clap! Thank you, thank you.....)

I have never been very good at cooking. Full stop.

As the youngest of six, I was often chased out of the kitchen - I was more of a nuisance than a helping hand whenever I lingered around in that department. My mother and 3 elder sisters would be happier for me to be lounging in front of our (then) black & white TV watching Sesame Street & Popeye The Sailor Man than to be wandering about in 'their' kitchen. So you see.... this notion that I can do no good in the kitchen has long been instilled in my subconscious mind. To further entrench this notion, I was whisked away to a boarding school at the tender age of 12. The school was only 5 'miles' away from home though. But distance did not matter. With no access to a 'live' kitchen (other than the school canteen and dining hall which access were also equally denied to budding female adults) , how can you expect one to bloom into a good cook?

Later when in college, I learned about this concept of "self fulfilling prophecy" in Psychology 101. Simply, the self-fulfilling prophecy is, in the beginning, a statement, a prediction or a false definition, of a certain situation. The person believing this prophecy then evokes certain behaviours or alters his or her actions which makes the original false conception to become 'true'.

So this notion of me being a lousy cook is a self fulfilling prophecy, you think? Yeah... I think so lah! No doubt about it.

Rationalising my incompetency is indeed one of my competencies :)

But it's never too late, right? Better late than never.

So when the Ah So at Pasar Rawang offered me a few packs of laksa at half price (because the customer who ordered for them did not turn up as promised), I thought - hmmm.... this could be a window of opportunity for me to hone my culinary skills. Honestly, at that point, I only thought of boiling the laksa and mix them with Prego spaghetti sauce. A suggestion by Aso though, helped pushed me to a new frontier altogether. She "directed" me to buy asam keping, bunga kantan, daun 'punina' ( trust me, she meant 'daun pudina' or mint leaves, and nothing else), etc, etc, etc. And so I snaked myself through the crowds at the wet market looking for those ingredients.

As fate has it, that same week, I had also been clearing up some boxes of books to "restore" our mini library. The last few books that remained untouchable were a few good but dusty cooking/recipe books. GOOD because they fill up the shelves, DUSTY because they really are..... they have never been put to good use other than for ogling and salivating over the pictures of elaborately garnished dishes. And one of these dust collectors was none other than a special recipe book entitled "Dari Srikandi Untuk Srikandi". I suppose, I am not alone ..... especially amongst those who hailed from the same alma mater.

I flicked through to the mee & pasta section and voila!!! Two pages caught my eyes; on Assam Laksa & Laksa Johor.

Both are my favourites.

Both have never been served home-cooked in my kitchen.

Could this be my next fear factor challenge?!

In times like this, when faced with daunting tasks that could bring tears to my eyes ( because onions would be involved) - who did I call?

WAN SHANA !!!!!!

- to be continued -

Pet safari - not yet ....

2008-08-03T18:27:00.006+08:00

Ameer has been nagging me for a new pet since the past one week.

We've already got 3 cats; a mommy, 'Blackie' and her two not so little kittens, 'Tompok' and 'Burnt' (you can imagine what colors their furs are). They are not that 'manja', can't cuddle them too long. But Mommy Blackie is good at catching rats (from the main road gutter I hope!) . And the 2 not so little kittens are good at playing with the their mommy's catch.

We also have some fish - of all colors - but which remain nameless. They don't do much at all, just swim all day long. If they were humans, they would have broad muscular shoulders by now. But they are fish. Their fins stay just the same so far.

Of late, we discovered we also have some toads. Or are they frogs? I suppose they are the grown up tadpoles which must have survived in the water cabbage petals that we transferred from the old house pond. And these toads (or frogs?) I tell you.... we've never seen them, but heard enough of them. They are very good at serenading us at night. Each time when they start the orchestra - which unfortunately usually happens when we are just about ready to fly into dreamland, we would be forced to lie helplessly staring at the ceiling feeling like being strapped to our seats in philharmonic auditorium and tortured to listen to some tone deaf idols wannabes trying very hard perfecting their falsettos. Yeah.... we are not quite the "cultured" type. Sorry. With the haze in the air, hopefully the rain will respond to their calling soon.

Occasionally, we spotted one or two lizards sneaking and scurrying from behind the cabinets. Not many (yet) dare to stride into sight though. Maybe they suspect one of my boys could be Professor Klon's alliance? Hide away is a better alternative.

So you see..... we don't need a new pet - I think.

But my view is not shared by Ameer. He insists (still) on a new pet.

And Ameer being Ameer, he would stop at nothing until he gets his demands. From asking politely, to sulking, to begging, to crying and ...... threatening.

***********************************************

"What kind of pet do you want?"

"Ameer nak ghabbit la Ibu!!

"RABBITTTT???!!"

"Ha... boleh la, Ibu? Ghabbit kan cute?"

"Yes... of course it's cute. But who's going to jaga the rabbit?"

"Ameer la. I will feed them and give them water everyday, I promise!"

"THEMMMM???? You said rabbit, NOT rabbitS! So why "THEM"?

"Alah... tak pe lah... nanti ghabbit tak de kawan, kesian...."

"Tapi susah lah nak jaga rabbit, Ameer. Who's going to clean them and their cage and all?"

"AMEER! AMEER! Ameer can do that!"

( Yeah right..... istinja' pun with adult's assistance).

"Hmm.... I don't know la Ameer, I am not sure. I think you have to ask Ayah."

"But I am very sure. I want GHABBIT!!"

"So you just have to wait & ask Ayah, ok?"

"Bila Ayah balik? Lagi berapa kali tidur?"

(This was yesterday, Ayah had not returned from Umrah yet. So at least one more pet-tactic day to defer dealing with Ameer and his pet demand).

*************************************************

We went to KL Sentral this morning to fetch Ayah. I asked the boys what would be the first thing they would do or say to Ayah upon his arrival.

Hafiz wanted to salam, kiss Ayah and touch Ayah's botak head.

Ameer wanted to salam & kiss Ayah too. AND YES!! OF COURSE!!! Ameer wanted to ask Ayah if he could have a ghabbit as a new pet.

He had not forgotten, why was I kidding myself?

"Kalau Ayah tak bagi, Ameer nak buat apa?"

"Ameer panggil dinosaur, suruh dinosaur destroy ghumah kita!"

Fuiyoooooo ........

"Kalau rumah kita dah destroy, kita nak tinggal kat mana?"

"Kita beli la cage macam ghabbit's house tu!"

Hahaha.... But hey.... it's not a laughing matter to Ameer okay? He sulked all the way to KL Sentral thereafter.

****************************************

"AYAH!! Can I have ghabbit, please, please, please Ayah!! "

No need to guess who was pleading and showing all good manners to Ayah.

"Rabbit? Why... we already have three cats?"

"Yahhhhh... Blackie tu nanti scratch Ameer. I want a new pet la Ayah. Ameer nak ghabbit, please?"

"Susah lah nak jaga rabbit, Ameer. Nanti kalau Ameer tak jaga betul2, nanti rabbit tu sakit, lepas tu mati.... kesian dia. Kalau Ameer nak new pet, ikan boleh."

"Alah.... Ikan pun boleh mati jugak!"

Hmm.. apa nak jawab?

"Tapi ikan senang nak ganti. Ameer pun boleh choose banyak-banyak color! Ameer nak ikan apa pun boleh", Ayah trying to spin off some tricks.

That left Ameer quiet for a while. Gone into his thinking mode.

"Betul? Ayah tak tipu?"

"Betul...... Kita beli ikan jer ok?", pujuk Ayah lagi.

"OKAY LAH!!!" ( sulking mode setting in again).

*********************************************

"Ameer nak ikan apa?"

"Ikan yang panjang, yang mulut dia tajam"

"Uishh... ikan apa tuh? Electric Eel ker?"

"No!"

"Then?"

"DOLPHIN!!"

Dia jawab selamba jer.

Alamak..... Mana nak cari dolphin? Hah!!! Jawab......

Ameer.... Oh Ameer.....

Gunting ghambut

2008-07-20T11:14:00.004+08:00

"Ibu..... bila Ayah nak bawak Ameer pegi gunting ghambut?"

"Ameer tanyalah kat Ayah."

"Tapi Ayah tu, Ameer tanya, dia tak jawab pun? Ameer kena gunting ghambut dah ni!"

"Ye ke? Why? It not's that long yet?"

"Dah...... see..... (sambil pegang 'ghambut' dia), ghambut Ameer dah turun bawah dah ni!"

"Uh? Turun bawah?!"

"Ha .... dah turun bawah sampai mata dah .... tengok ni!"

(Imagine Ameer pulling down his bangs to eye level)

"If we don't cut now, my hair will go down some more touching my nose, then go down some more touching my feet! So must gunting ghambut la Ibu!"

(Ibu tak tahan nak ketawa dengar Ameer 'speaking'. And of course his wild imagination of his hair 'turun bawah'...... THAT long until touching his feet?!! Ohhhh... but I couldn't laugh out loud though, so as not to discourage him 'speaking').

I combed his soft hair with my hand and assured him that Ayah would take him to gunting ghambut soon so that all his hair yang dah turun bawah tu can be cut short soon.

My hair memang sentiasa turun bawah, but maybe I can do with some shampooing, trimming of those split ends & shoulder massaging at the saloon? (Eh.... sapa kata kat Rawang tak de hair saloon? Melampau tau you all ni. Mesti lah ada....) Yeah... maybe I should do just that.

Hmm .... Ayah & the boys at "Mr Fashion" - the mamak barber - and Ibu just a few doors away at Alice's or Cindy's?

Yahhh... maybe that's what we should do today. Gunting ghambut activity....

Life is a stage

2008-07-05T13:15:00.004+08:00

Driving home from Ali Maju roti canai & teh tarik session this morning, Ayah & I had the pleasure and pressure of watching our 3 boys through the mirror - they were all over each other in the back seat. One minute they were teasing, joking and laughing their hearts out over nothing. The next minute quarreling, squabbling and shouting, accusing each other over nothing. Ameer starting calling out for me, snitching - Abang Hafiz buat itu, Abang Idin buat ini. Hafiz started defending, mana ada... tipu, dosa! Abang Idin let out his growl, oii... diam la oiii...

I had a mild headache. I couldn't care less what the boys were fighting about. I thought they'd be fine soon. So I just let them continue with their on-the-road drama, adopting the attitude of Wanshana, ahhh... tak kuasa!

Ayah gave me a nudge at the elbow, "Look at the boys..... Reminds me of our politicians. Macam budak kecik! Craving for attention."

Hahahaha... We had a good laugh.

Whether we realise it or not, the switching of scenes and acts are actually common household drama. Whether we like it or not, as parents, we get daily dosage of such takes without fail. Sometimes we just ignore them, knowing that these are child's play anyway. Sometimes, though, they got on to our nerves and we ended up breathless, all charged up over nothing ourselves!

Just like the high powered political drama that is unfolding before our eyes these days. Not Kung Fu Panda, not Hancock, not even Wall-e can topple it from the top of the chart - just yet!

The twist and turns has given Pak Lah some breathing space at least. And I suppose behind the scene, Tok Guru would surely further his prayers to the almighty to let the truth prevail.

One thing for sure, the truth is yet to be availed.

So hold on to your seats ladies & gentlemen, save your commentaries on those twist & turns, save your breath, saliva and pre-judgement on who's right and who's left, I mean, wrong.

Go grab some popcorns and coke (or keropok lekor & teh tarik if you like).

Sit back, relax and enjoy the show.

Hey.... with the fuel & electricity tariff hike..... why complain when you've got in front of your eyes a free drama to enjoy?

**************

"Life's but a walking shadow," says Shakespeare's Macbeth, "a poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage and then is heard no more."

A dark thought for every man, but darker still for the actor who has his true existence only in his everlasting duel with the public. For if every man's life is no more than a play, the actor's life is no more than a play within the play.

And what of all the rest? All that took place behind the scenes when he was a man like any other? Was all that, too, a show, an illusion, a tale "full of sound and fury, signifying nothing"?

All the world's a stage indeed. And all the men and women merely players; they will have entrances, and surely their exits.

********************

I think in his few words, Ayah has said it all. Macam budak kecik craving for attention.

Salam...

Stormy Weather

2008-06-25T10:48:00.004+08:00

The Arrival

"Welcome to Hong Kong, Madam!" he said cheerfully.

"Thank you", I replied, glad that he could speak reasonably good English.

"Be aware Madam, they have issued No 8 storm signal!" he added.

"Uh? No 8 storm signal?", I asked, puzzled.

"Yes.. you know the typhoon that hit Philipines, that killed thousands of people? It may be coming here to Hong Kong."

Hurraaaahhhh ..... I said to myself.

"But don't worry Madam, the wind now not so strong. Low, low. Last time in Philipines, high, high. If you need any transport, just ask the hotel to arrange for you. Don't take taxi."

"I see, ok, thank you".

I think he meant well. But what a way to welcome and break the ice with a visitor!

****************************************************************

The Settling In

"Hello housekeeping?"

"Yes, how may I 'hep' you, Madam?"

"Do you by any chance have a compass that I can borrow?"

"I beg your pardon, Madam?"

"A compass?"

"Err... sorry Madam, I don't understand you. Can you repeat please?"

"A compass. Do you have a compass?"

"You mean Condom?"

"NOOOO!! No! No! Not condom! C o m p a s s !"

"Comm....pass....?"

" Yes, compass? You know compass? The thing that shows the direction of North South, East West?"

"Err... sorry Madam, I don't understand. Can you speak Mandarin?"

"Uh uh. I can't speak Mandarin."

"Should I send someone to your room to help you?"

"No, it's okay. I will call the reception desk. Thank you for your help"

"I'm very sorry Madam, I cannot help."

"It's ok, thank you."

Hmmm.... nice going. I have the prayer schedule, the direction of the qiblat, but no compass. Of course I don't have a condom either. Won't be needing that as much as I need the compass.

I called the reception desk shortly after and sort of got some basic help to start with.

As it is, the window is directly facing West and the wall on the right hand side is North. I have to estimate 286 degrees from North. Hmm.... I know it may not be spot on but I have to be 'yakin'. Semoga diterimaNYA.

Oh well.... at least there's a reason for me to hop outside later this evening (weather permitting) to the shops across the street to look for a simple gadget that I shouldn't have left home without.

Salam,
Ibu

The Emperor's New Clothes

2008-05-21T21:41:00.006+08:00

Have you read or heard the story about the emperor's new clothes? Do you still remember it?

The story, originally written by a Danish poet and author, Hans Christian Anderson, is about an emperor who unwittingly hires two swindlers to create a new suit of clothes for him.

If you have not heard it or cannot remember it, here .... have a go !

The Emperor's New Clothes
by Hans Christian Anderson

" Once upon a time there lived a vain Emperor whose only worry in life was to dress in elegant clothes. He changed clothes almost every hour and loved to show them off to his people.

Word of the Emperor's refined habits spread over his kingdom and beyond. Two scoundrels who had heard of the Emperor's vanity decided to take advantage of it. They introduced themselves at the gates of the palace with a scheme in mind.

"We are two very good tailors and after many years of research we have invented an extraordinary method to weave a cloth so light and fine that it looks invisible. As a matter of fact it is invisible to anyone who is too stupid and incompetent to appreciate its quality."

The chief of the guards heard the scoundrel's strange story and sent for the court chamberlain. The chamberlain notified the prime minister, who ran to the Emperor and disclosed the incredible news. The Emperor's curiosity got the better of him and he decided to see the two scoundrels.

"Besides being invisible, your Highness, this cloth will be woven in colors and patterns created especially for you." The emperor gave the two men a bag of gold coins in exchange for their promise to begin working on the fabric immediately.

"Just tell us what you need to get started and we'll give it to you." The two scoundrels asked for a loom, silk, gold thread and then pretended to begin working. The Emperor thought he had spent his money quite well: in addition to getting a new extraordinary suit, he would discover which of his subjects were ignorant and incompetent. A few days later, he called the old and wise prime minister, who was considered by everyone as a man with common sense.

"Go and see how the work is proceeding," the Emperor told him, "and come back to let me know."

The prime minister was welcomed by the two scoundrels.

"We're almost finished, but we need a lot more gold thread. Here, Excellency! Admire the colors, feel the softness!" The old man bent over the loom and tried to see the fabric that was not there. He felt cold sweat on his forehead.

"I can't see anything," he thought. "If I see nothing, that means I'm stupid! Or, worse, incompetent!" If the prime minister admitted that he didn't see anything, he would be discharged from his office.

"What a marvelous fabric, he said then. "I'll certainly tell the Emperor." The two scoundrels rubbed their hands gleefully. They had almost made it. More thread was requested to finish the work.

Finally, the Emperor received the announcement that the two tailors had come to take all the measurements needed to sew his new suit.

"Come in," the Emperor ordered. Even as they bowed, the two scoundrels pretended to be holding large roll of fabric.

"Here it is your Highness, the result of our labour," the scoundrels said. "We have worked night and day but, at last, the most beautiful fabric in the world is ready for you. Look at the colors and feel how fine it is." Of course the Emperor did not see any colors and could not feel any cloth between his fingers. He panicked and felt like fainting. But luckily the throne was right behind him and he sat down. But when he realized that no one could know that he did not see the fabric, he felt better. Nobody could find out he was stupid and incompetent. And the Emperor didn't know that everybody else around him thought and did the very same thing.

The farce continued as the two scoundrels had foreseen it. Once they had taken the measurements, the two began cutting the air with scissors while sewing with their needles an invisible cloth.

"Your Highness, you'll have to take off your clothes to try on your new ones." The two scoundrels draped the new clothes on him and then held up a mirror. The Emperor was embarrassed but since none of his bystanders were, he felt relieved.

"Yes, this is a beautiful suit and it looks very good on me," the Emperor said trying to look comfortable. "You've done a fine job."

"Your Majesty," the prime minister said, "we have a request for you. The people have found out about this extraordinary fabric and they are anxious to see you in your new suit." The Emperor was doubtful showing himself naked to the people, but then he abandoned his fears. After all, no one would know about it except the ignorant and the incompetent.

"All right," he said. "I will grant the people this privilege." He summoned his carriage and the ceremonial parade was formed. A group of dignitaries walked at the very front of the procession and anxiously scrutinized the faces of the people in the street. All the people had gathered in the main square, pushing and shoving to get a better look. An applause welcomed the regal procession. Everyone wanted to know how stupid or incompetent his or her neighbor was but, as the Emperor passed, a strange murmur rose from the crowd.

Everyone said, loud enough for the others to hear: "Look at the Emperor's new clothes. They're beautiful!"

"What a marvellous train!"

"And the colors! The colors of that beautiful fabric! I have never seen anything like it in my life!"

They all tried to conceal their disappointment at not being able to see the clothes, and since nobody was willing to admit his own stupidity and incompetence, they all behaved as the two scoundrels had predicted.

A child, however, who had no important job and could only see things as his eyes showed them to him, went up to the carriage.

"The Emperor is naked," he said.

"Fool!" his father reprimanded, running after him. "Don't talk nonsense!" He grabbed his child and took him away. But the boy's remark, which had been heard by the bystanders, was repeated over and over again until everyone cried:

"The boy is right! The Emperor is naked! It's true!"

The Emperor realized that the people were right but could not admit to that. He thought it would be better to continue the procession under the illusion that anyone who couldn't see his clothes was either stupid or incompetent. And he stood stiffly on his carriage, while behind him a page held his imaginary mantle.

The End

*****************************************************

Tonight, I will read the story of "The Emperor's New Clothes" to my boys.

I do not wish to see my boys growing up becoming like this , not wanting to tell the truth to their "emperor".

And I pray to God that if they were to be in "emperor-like" positions one day, their actions would not be dictated by their own sheer fear of the truth & not disillusioned with their own inferiority complex and that of others.

.

Pencil Tekan

2008-05-17T09:01:00.011+08:00

One of my usual morning routines involves getting Ameer ready for school - bathe him, watch him brush his teeth, dry him up, dress up & 'after bath' hugs & kisses on the cheeks.

After moving to Emerald, my mornings have become less stressful because I no longer have to redah the downtown traffic jam to get to the toll/highway. That alone is a saving of at least 30 mins.

So, while the morning routines are the same, the quality of delivering those routines have greatly improved. I can even sip my morning coffee calmly at the kitchen deck, observing the neighbourhood surrounding and watching Ameer playing with the kittens at the same time too! Cool .....

Quite simply - I don't feel rushed in the morning like before!

That is good.

Now that I have extra 30 mins in the morning, maybe I should start exercising before I go to work? Hmmm... maybe.... maybe :D

Anyway... I digressed.

Yesterday, after helping Ameer get ready for school, the coffee, the kittens, I went downstairs (yeah...our kitchen is "upstairs" !) followed by Ameer from behind. Normally, he would watch cartoons while waiting for his teacher to pick him up. Somehow yesterday, he just followed me and just stood watching me picking up my handbags and this and that.

I asked him, "Ameer tak tengok kartun?"

He replied, "Ameer nak pencil tekan".
Short & crisp, but looking up to me with a pair of hopeful eyes like a puppy from the pet shop window.

Pandai budak ni nak psycho ibu dia, but I thought rationally ... heyyy... berapa banyak pencil daaaa.... the one box each should be more than sufficient to last 6 months ( no joke ok? not one, two or three pencils, but one box each!)

"Ameer kan dah ada banyak pencils. Why do u want a pencil tekan? Besides, susah tau nak masukkan pencil leads tu dalam pencil tekan ".

He started frowning.

Alamak... takkan pagi2 dah nak start sandiwara kot? Ni yg tak syiok nih.

He replied softly, "Ameer nak pencil tekan. Abang Hafiz tak bagi pinjam dia punya. Dia kata nanti Ameer rosak kan. Ameer tak nak rosakkan. Ameer nak pinjam ajer. Tapi Abang Hafiz tak nak bagi pinjam". And he said this with his eyes looking down at the floor - reminded me of a scene of a convict pleading for lenier punishment in court.

"Oh ye ker? Kesian Ameer....", memang pandai pyscho budak ni.

There is plenty of pencils of all sorts at the "shop" near where I work. I could grab one in a jiffy I'm sure. But heyyy.... I was not about to give in so easy ok?

So I tried another rationale,
"Tapi kan Ameer... Ibu dah beli baaaaaaanyyak pencil untuk Ameer haritu kan?"

"Ya"

"So.... duit ibu dah tinggal sikit dah ..... tak cukup nak beli pencil tekan".

Ameer kept quite for a while. Then he said,
"Ok lah Ibu. Sorry Ibu".

Oh! That was fast! An early victory for Ibu I thought. Good for me!

Then we hugged as usual. I love you. I love you too. I miss you. I miss you too. And he salam & kiss my hand. Then Ameer walked slowly into the TV room adjacent to the main door to get his morning dose of cartoons. Phewww..... I put on my shoes, grabbed my bags, checked if my handphone & car keys were in there and picked up my notebook bag.

Just as I was about to walk to the car, Ameer shouted from inside the TV room,
"Wait Ibu. Wait!"

Apa pulak lah lagi?

I poke my head inside and saw Ameer dragging his school bag out from the TV room. He put the bag right infront me and he started rummaging through his bag pockets, left, right, inside, out. I had no clue what was going on.

Hmmm... I came home late the night before and didn't get the chance to see his school work. Maybe he wanted to show me his drawing, I thought.

Suddenly Ameer said, "Ah! Dah jumpa! "

Then he stood up, opened up his small palm for me and asked,
"Ibu, is this enough?"

Staring blankly into my eyes were three shiny 20 cents coins.

"Cukup tak duit circle-circle ni untuk beli pencil tekan, Ibu?" he asked innocently.

I felt a lump in my throat. I just stared at the three 20 cents coins (duit circle-circle to Ameer) and Ameer's hopeful face interchangeably.

"Ibu boleh guna duit ni untuk beli pencil tekan untuk Ameer. Please Ibu?", he pleaded.

I had to hold back my tears - which I'm very good at.

I think Ameer really wanted a pencil tekan.

That's Ameer for you.

Salam,
Ibu

.

BBQ & Makan-makan

2008-05-12T19:03:00.012+08:00

Kepingin BBQ bersama fellow blogger dari Istanbul?

Pencil this in your calendar:

Day/Date: Saturday, 14th June, 2008

Venue: Kota Emerald, Rawang

Time: Petang2 .... exact time to be confirmed.

Guests of Honor: Simah & Halil, all the way from Istanbul !!!

To all those who know Simah, why not make this date a memorable one? Come join us and let's get together-gether over makan-makan. To those who do not know Simah yet, hey.... this is the opportunity get to know her then.

But... but... but..... be alerted...... oleh kerana Ibu ni kurang pandai memasak (Ayah would disagree completely - he would say totally hopeless and tak pandai masak langsung!! Sigh.....), the main menu would therefore be......

BBQ laaaaaa!! Marinate over nite, then bakar jerr ... kan senang? hehehe.....

Sila, sila... don't be shy - this is the time to get to know Simah up close & personal, learn about her cinta 2 benua (kot2 la boleh buat skrip drama/filem? tak ker huntung tuh?) and how this Malaysian lass has survived being on foreign soil that she now calls it her home too.

Pot luck ker? Hmmm.. ntah lah. Datang lenggang kangkung pun tak per. Janji sudi makan BBQ yg ibu buat tu (pssstt..... standby eno pencuci perut?! LOL!!!). Kalau nak bawak periuk beruntung pun, ok jugak... hehehe....

Those interested, pls can you email me at cerita_ibu@yahoo.com and I'll send you further update in due course.

Salam,

Ibu

p/s Peringatan kepada yg ada anak2 lelaki - itu Hatice, anak Simah, ibu dah booked! hehehehhh..

NS camp tragedy: One too many

2008-05-10T18:40:00.012+08:00

As the mood of Mother's Day lingers in the air, I can't help but feel very sad and sorry for the family of Hui Min, the latest casualty of poor health & safety administration at the National Service camp.

The scalding of Ameer's right thumb due to hot water spill a few weeks ago was enough to choke and haunt me. On the day the incident happened, I stayed half awake all night through, physically blowing his already bandaged thumb but emotionally feeling guilty for what happened to my baby and worried sick about his recovery.

Imagine how Hui Man's mother was feeling?

Waited for her 7As daughter to come home from NS camp to commence her Form 6, but was greeted with her lifeless body instead. Gruesome.

And all the Datuk could say .... 'She might have been suffering from it for a long time and did not know about it until her death'. And of course they are not going to scrap it just because one or two deaths only.

Just because one or two deaths only?

Just because?

One or two only?

I don't care lah who's in charge, under which ministry, but 16 deaths over a span of 4 years? That's apalling statistically! And horrifying ethically!!

This latest fatal incident is an outright negligence by the NS authorities. Eh! No. It should be gross negligence. Yeah..yeah... yeah..... siasatan, siasatan, siasatan. Cut the crap and just admit it lah!! At the very least, be compassionate about it - say sorry & show your remorse. And if you are not going to scrape this whole thing - then for goodness sake, take the next steps to close the gap fast & furiously.

Aiyoyoooo.... only now they are talking about getting NIOSH certification? If this happened at the workplace, employers would have been taken to task within days - slapped with summons, compounds, imprisonment. If this happened in school hostels, the caterers and the school administration would be grilled alfresco.

But for the NS authorities? Oh...it's just one or two only - what's the big deal. Goshhh.... can you pls wash your mouth with chlorox arr Datuk?

Sigh... bila cakap banyak2, they say bloggers... itulah kerja diorang, exaggerating the truths.

Exaggerating eh?

HALLLOOOOO!!! Can we borrow your sons and daughters pls? Meh sini makan sama2 chicken rice tuh? Meh sini sama2 wait in line to be sent to the clinic? Meh sini duduk sebelah and join the joy ride of waiting for timely proper medical treatment? And if something serious happens to your sons or daughters, simply welcome the response of "oh... she might have had it before but did not know about it" and "ohh.... just one or two children of the many orang besar, no problem... we have room for more, let's just get on with it" with big round of applause pls, will you? Would you? ANSWER ME, YOU HEARTLESS MORON!!

Don't talk about NS camp lahhh... the primary and secondary schools pun you orang avoid kan? Almost all are sent to private or international schools. Some send overseas terus. And you expect all of us mothers to stay calm and collected and be happy with the condition that you put our children through at the schools and NS camps? %$@# *&$!(**>( !!!

(Have I not controlled my fingers, you would have seen all the toot...toot words appearing after the last sentence!)

When you take custody of our children for that short period, you are to assume full responsibility of their health & welfare. The signature that we pen down (or going to pen down 8 years from today) on the consent form, doesn't absolve YOU of the accountability of ill administration by the people who report to you. You should be jointly and severally liable for what happen to our children! The failure to ensure that trainees are rendered expedient medical attention when the need arises is a gross negligence of duty and that, from the opinion of this ibu, can tantamount to a breach of trust that all the ibu-ibu have entrusted upon you.

From the eyes of an ibu,
YOU,
ARE GUILTY AS CHARGED !!

To all mothers out there, selamat hari kita.

.

911

2008-05-01T12:30:00.015+08:00

I thought the first thing that I would write about after the come back was on the moving house ordeal that has kept me away from blogging for the last month or so - the reason why Cerita Ibu has been collecting dust.

But what could be more important to update on than the grim domestic accident in our new house? Aiyaiya.....

It all happened last Saturday mid morning which started off well, bright and cheery as with any other non working day :)

We were all gathered around the dining table. Not for breakfast , no.... but for our usual weekend together-gether stuff. Hafiz was doing his Kumon, Ameer his coloring. Abang Idin not in the picture - went on school camping trip. Ayah & I were surfing the net. To be exact, we were fulfilling our statutory duty to e-file the income tax returns. Well actually, it was Ayah who did it all. I merely ransacked my bag, retrieved my income statement, passed it on to him and answered a few questions

1) books? yes, max

2) insurance/epf? yes, max

3) pelepasan anak? yes, 3 orang

4) parents medical? yes, RM2160

5) zakat? errrrrkkk... alamak bang! guilty as charged!

Those kind of questions. And Ayah said IRB owes me RM2,000++ ! Yipeeeee!!! By the way, I was making online payment for my credit card bills - which never seem to finish! why arrr?

As for the ambience that morning.... the dining area sliding doors wide open. The morning breeze and smell of grass refreshing. Outside, birds chirping & Blackie meowing. In the kitchen, Bibi grumbling - something about the dirty laundry. Cakap jawa - tak faham! From the backyard, the trickling sound of the backdoor's neighbour's swimming pool and water feature was therapeutic.

You see.... nothing could go wrong.

Or so we thought!

And how wrong we were.

Out of a sudden, Ameer appeared from the kitchen (when did he move from his seat??!), weeping. "Ayah...... Ameer sakit ni...."

I was like .... ishhh... apa lagi la budak Hafiz ni menyakat adik dia? I didn't even look up. I think neither did Ayah. Well at least not immediately.

Ameer persisted, "Ayahhhhh..... tengoklah ni!!"

And Ayah must have looked at Ameer and it was his "LA'ILA HA'ILALLAHHH! AMEER WHAT HAPPENED??!!!!" that startled me.

I jumped out of my seat when I saw what Ameer was weeping and complaining "sakit" about. His right thumb and a small part of his backhand! Burn? Scald? Oh my god!! Hot water! Outer layer skin destroyed! Redness exposed! Ouchhhh..... Oh Ameerrr.... my darling Ameer...... sakitnya anak ibu.... Cam mana la boleh kena ni?! Oh my dear baby.....

"Macam mana boleh kena ni Ameer!!?"

"Bukan Hafiz, bukan Hafiz!!! Ameer nak air kat situ....." said Hafiz, while pointing at the thermal pot and coffee making tray.

SHIT!! ( Uh! Sorry.... ) How on earth could he reach that high? Did he step onto something?

"Ameer sakit bu.... sakit ni!" Ameer continued weeping.

Ayah just stood there. Didn't move. Couldn't move? Half frozen, I think.

"Ok sayang... jangan nangis.... " I carried Ameer into the kitchen to get the 1st aid kit. Alamak..... kan baru pindah, mana pulak letak eh? Alahai.... Oh yes! Found it. But NO BURNOL!!! Ishhh....

Meanwhile, Ameer continued weeping, "Ameer sakit bu....sakit bu..... "

"Hang in there Ameer! Nanti Ibu cari ubat ni...." trying to console my baby in pain.

In my mind, the first aid lessons on burns & scald was flashing back & forth, back & forth - blurry vision. I was not good in paying attention in class. So in that zig zag of a nano second, I was helplessly trying to think of what home remedy I could resort to in this emergency situation. Something cold. Something cold. I must find something cold.

And I rushed to the fridge and took out - what else? butter!! Grabbed a spoon, scraped a thin layer of butter and quickly but slowly .... ( hey...apa daaaa... quickly but slowly???) I mean, gently applied the thin layer of butter onto Ameer's little thumb.

"Ameer sakit bu.... sakit ......"

My heart broke into pieces.

Oh my dear baby. My handsome Ameer. I kissed him on his forehead, hugged him and consoled him, " Ibu ada ni OK Ameer? Ibu sayang Ameer!" ( nasty thoughts began creeping in ... what a useless mother! Anak depan mata pun tak boleh jaga.... ).

Ameer, though still weeping with tears rolling slowly down his cheek, was actually pretty calm and composed. He didn't cry out loud at all. Merely weeping. I wiped his tears away again and again. Hugged him - gently of course, on hi alert by then and cautious of not wanting a burn & scald home accident to escalate into suffocation.

We took Ameer to the clinic in town shortly after. I had to "tiupkan" Ameer's thumb all the way to the clinic to soothe his pain. Whatever it takes to console my little one.

(Ameer 'blowing' his own thumb to soothe the pain)

The doctor asked what that creamy yellow paste on Ameer's thumb was and I told her I couldn't find burnol and that was the only thing that I could think of then. She smile generously, and I figured she must have been quite impressed with my home remedy (the butter!!). She said I could also use ice cube or ice pack in the absence of burnol (OF COURSE!! And there was plenty of ice cube in the fridge, and a brand new ice pack which we got as free gift when we bought that eyes massager few weeks back!! AH! If only I had paid attention in class....)

We went into the "dressing" room and the doctor expertly attended to Ameer's wound immediately. After cleaning the wound from the mess of my home remedy, she applied what appeared like a "whip cream" white cream generously over Ameer's thumb and bandaged it all up neatly.

Throughout the 'procedure', Ameer DID NOT cry at all ..... Not a single weep. Nothing. The doctor was pleasantly surprised with that. She offered Ameer some sweets thereafter but he did want to take any and just clung to me. It was Hafiz who offered his willingness for the sweets - which help draw some laughter from both the doctor and the nurses.

The doctor advised me not to worry. While the outer layer skin seemed destroyed, the burn was superficial and not severe she said. Nevertheless, she said she had to bandage it all up because knowing little children, they can be quite 'lasak' and would play outside the house, so that might expose the wound to gems. Well.. at least that's what I concluded.

Ameer.... oh Ameer..... I'm very sorry for what had happened, sayang. It's unthinkable for such a thing to happen to you whom we all know as the cute 'baby' of the house who hardly ever got into trouble. What's more with both parents at home at that time. It shouldn't have happened.

Until today, we still haven't figured out how he could have reached that high to press on that thermal pot button. Each time we asked Ameer about it, he would turned and walked away responding, "Ameer dah OK dah!". Hafiz on the other hand, was having his head "inside" the fridge to help himself with some yogurt when the incident happened so he couldn't be an eye witness to tell us what and how it actually happened other than "Ameer nak isi air panas dalam cawan kecik tu agaknya ...."

But accidents do happen, my darling Ameer. I'm sorry that it happened to you this time. Nevertheless, we must thank Allah that it was just that and nothing more. As we all know, there must be a hikmah in every single event. What a blessing in disguise - we now know you can quite comfortably write with your left hand. And you can colour with your left hand too without any problem at all. Ambidextrous boy in the making!

We are now still sending Ameer for his daily dressing. Not at the same clinic though - as on the second day, the dressing was done by a nurse who was sneezing & sniffing most of the time, who did not wash her hand and who blatantly disobeyed the doctor's (not the same as day1 doctor) instruction not to burst the blister! With the little recollection from what I had read on 1st aid before - it was a valid instruction from the doctor. And since that particular doctor on duty on day 2 was so not engaged with the treatment for my little boy ( as in "err... nurse! you do lah huh? this, that, don't do this, don't do that" .... and then straight back to his seat), I decided to take Ameer straight to Damansara Specialist Hospital (outpatient emergency) thereafter.

And everynight since last Sunday, we have been a regular at the emergency outpatient clinic. Jauhhhhhh weiii from Rawang, but anak punya pasal.... sanggup! The nurses washed their hands thoroughly each time of course.

Errrr... and how come the daily dressing at D'sara Specialist cost lower that what the GP charged? RM15 - RM20++ at DSH vs RM50 at the GP. I don't understand.

Anyway...........

A few more days to go Ameer and you'll have your right hand undressed in no time :)

.

Blogging from a new pasture

2008-04-26T11:24:00.003+08:00

Knock! Knock!!!

Ahh chooooo...... Euuuwwwww...... so dusty this place. Shoo spider, shoo.... Give way to ibu.

Coz' I'M BACK !!!!

p/s Tapping neighbour's WIFI. Ayah's one soooooo secured (konon) yet soooooo kaput.

The winds of change ....

2008-03-09T13:39:00.009+08:00

They thought it was only a breeze - soothing & refreshing, but not strong enough to erode the cliff.

They ignored the dissatisfaction that have been building up for a few years now, dismissing it as exagerated noises from a few disgruntled people.

They underestimated the need for a more open and transparent communication, sidelining the louder voices from other channels such as blogs, websites, online news & sms as cheap thrills preferred by the monkeys.

They assumed that what worked in the past decade is still current in this millenium.

They thought who were popular before would continue to win the hearts of the people simply because of their popularity.

They've got it all WRONG this time !!

**************

Ayah & I brought the boys for roti canai & ice lemon tea this morning at the ever popular Restoran Ali Maju in Rawang new town. While the usual aroma of roti kosong, garlic naan, tosei garing and tandoori chicken fills the air just the same, a different tinge of something else was pretty obvious. The mixed feelings of shock, anger, rejection and acceptance were written on a lot of different faces. People dived their noses into the pages of the local newspapers - not on the regular weekend pull outs of sensational celebrities stories, but this time on the shocking results of the General Election aka PRU12.

Oh well... shocking it would be for those who ignored the writings on the wall.

Shocking it could be for those who opted to lepak at home or do their usual Saturday chores instead of going out to the polling stations to cast their votes.

Shocking it might be for those who thought it was just another general election.

******************

I am not a politician. Betul...... hahaha.... though a few colleagues thought I have the looks of a PKR member written all over my face. While a few other friends thought I could be part of the younger blood in Puteri Umno. And I could still remember how I was encouraged to take up law for my field of studies during the pre-SPM results interview by the potential sponsors - so that I could help rebutt Mr Karpal Singh ( not kidding! guess there were still a lot of staunch supporters of the rulers from amongst the officers of the scholarship providers' back then).

Yes I do follow the updates on local politics from time to time. But no... I am not a politician. I'm just a regular working mom.

What bothers me though is the fact that some of the very obvious views and increasingly demanding needs of the people that are within the grasps of basic understanding of a regular working mom can continue to be blatantly ignored by some of the top politicians in this country.

Heck! If they know children of the urban areas are more demanding than those in the rural townships, why should they expect their parents to be any different?

Read this and tell me if I am wrong. Tom & Jerry & Doraemon on TV2 maybe sufficient to keep some children in some Felda somewhere glued to the TV - with due respect. But elsewhere in Bangsar, Bukit Antarabangsa, Kota Damansara, Subang and now even RAWANG (kenapa? tak percaya?), PS2, PSP, X Box, handphone & fully loaded prepaid card are the gadgets least expected to keep the children calm and steady and for the parents to maintain some degree of sanity while sipping a cup of tea with some friends. And hey.... we haven't even touched on the varying expectations of the babies, the toddlers, the preschoolers, the primary school goers and the hormone-raging teenagers.

So why is it so difficult to acknowledge and accept that in the above 'elsewhere' - RAWANG included, it's no longer sufficient to have the parents of the children to be satisfied with just having the electricity and water connected, the tarmac resurfaced, the traffic lights in good working order and pot holes covered up?

There are a lot of things that the politicians could learn from mothers, I tell you. After all, haven't they heard that the hands that rock the cradle can rule the world?

And hey... there is one other thing that the politicians can learn from WORKING mother you know! When the rocking and the lullabying is 'outsourced' to the domestic maid, you expect the children to always listen to the mother just because she is the mother? Yeahhhh right!!! Go fly wau. Dreamy mommy. God knows what kind of lullabies were sang to the children to soothe their ears. I can bet you my expiring Enrich points that it is of a different tune, accent and lyric altogether.

*************

So if the politicians have not been "at home" and have not updated or renewed the grocery checklist - they shouldn't expect the people at home would be oh-so-happy with the contents of the grocery shopping bags brought home.

Saja lah Ibu nak bercerita ! Sesekali air bah, sesekali pantai berubah....

Sombre. Numb. Hopeful at the same time.

p/s I'll be counting the days to see the "harga minyak" diturunkan. But eh..... depa tak bagitau pulak minyak apa eh? What if they clarify that they actually meant "minyak cap kapak" ?!! Bagi hilang pening dan buangkan angin?!!! Biar betul.......

If only I could use the dice ......

2008-03-07T23:43:00.079+08:00

When I was a kid, where I grew up - it used to be a serious thing. At least from Bapak's view of the election. To him, it was about putting your trust and confidence of your future in the hands of the right people. The people who, from Bapak's simple view, would provide a better future for his children, development for the country and peace & harmony for the nation.

Bapak was a marine police officer, you see. He expected orderliness. He upheld orders from the higher ups. Challenging authority was not in his vocabulary. So this election thing was a really serious matter to him. It was not something that we siblings should joke about. Cynical remarks of the ruling party or satirical comics of the election process were unheard of down south. It was a stronghold for the powers that be. And no way any deviation from the norm should ever be considered to be initiated from under his roof.

I remember I followed Mak to the polling station and into the booth too. It is still very vivid in my mind as to how I reminded Mak on which box to PANGKAH because Bapak said so. I think Mak followed what I said. Does that qualify me as an infuential party campaigner? Hey... every single vote counts!

Perhaps from a limited point of view, who Bapak & Mak voted for then must have worked for them as they now see their children doing & living much better than they did. Bapak finished standard 5. We all finished at the very least until Form 5. Bapak managed to save up for a Yamaha motorbike in exchange for his bicycle to go to work. Some of my sisters bought super bikes for their boys as rewards for good SPM results. Mak stirred up two eggs, fried them in thin spread cut into 8 equal pieces for equal share amongst us during dinner. We now have our maids enjoying scrambled eggs for breakfast.

During the last one or two elections, Bapak still spoke about how progressive Malaysia had become. Proton. Petronas Twin Towers. Penang Bridge. Wawasan 2020. No second guessing of who he voted for.

I have not called Bapak this time. I wonder if his views remain as simple as before.

I am pretty sure he still feels this election thing is a serious matter. If I asked, I can bet my clubcard points that he would still stand by the motion that this is about putting your trust and confidence of your future in the hands of the right people. The people who would provide a better future for your children, development for the country and racial harmony.

But today, I don't read just Berita Harian only. I read & hear from a few others. And there is no way I could have escaped the propagandas coming my way via other streams too - hardcopy, emails, television, radio, internet and sms.

It would shock Bapak I'm sure if I show him the online posters, the sms jokes, the sing-along election karaoke on you tube, the powerpoint slides on dalil-dalil why si polan should not be a leader, etc. Knowing his heart condition, I would have to ensure Tuan Doktor is not on leave to catch some snakes before I show Bapak all those propagandas. It may be a laughing matter to those who want to chill but it is a serious matter to my father.

On reflection ...... though I laughed at the jokes and enjoyed ( and shhh.... even sang along) the la la la you tube karaoke, I sort of miss the times when there was a lot more respect amongst one another and decorum in the way people voice their views. Does it have to be the way it has turned out to be today for the sake of wrestling power and authority? Is this a taste of what good looks like on freedom of speech? I wonder what and how all these would evolve into when it is my boys' time to talk to their children about general election in the coming decade.

In one half of the picture, the creative urge and strong push to challenge the status quo for all the wrong doings that have been cited have put me in a more upright position to be wary of those in power. In the other half however, there is not one convincing proposal, not even a spin, on how it would be done differently (fool proof strategy & action to deliver better) if some others nestled into the much desired seats.

While the sketch on 'ubah lah gaya hidup' to cope with the increasing toll and petrol price is quite funny and catchy at the same time, the 'others' or rather the alternatives have not (yet) confirmed that they would not do the same thing with other staple needs if they were elected.

While the allegations that those currently holding the reins of power have not tried hard enough to ensure safety & security of the young ones hold some truth, the sheer sanctioning of throwing stones to the buses ferrying some other mothers' children suspected to be phantom voters are not a sight for sore eyes either.

While I aspire to adopt Islamic practices as a way of life than merely having it as a status of religion printed in MyKad, I find it ironic that some self proclaimed spiritual leaders make doas for the Almighty to "melaknati" other fellow muslims merely for the sake of not losing the powers in hand.

While my heart aches learning just how much the private jets and the official planes cost, my senses have not picked up the assurance that the ones reporting on it would sell them back to potential buyers and channeled the proceeds to the needy (like partially sponsoring Kerp's new wheels maybe? or guaranteed employment opportunities for Kak Pi's buddies? or providing free education, and I mean really free, and build more public libraries that are accessible to all the children in this country?) instead of using the funds to buy supersonic rockets to go the moon in the name of justice.

SO HOW ?

Should it be for the Devil that I have come to know OR the Angel that I don't know ?

It's only a few hours away before I have to PANGKAH in the box.

Or should I not bother at all and just sleep late, enjoy my slumber, then wake up and catch a movie?

Quite a tough decision for a working Ibu to make eh? Hmmm... no wonder Bapak said this is a serious matter. It is indeed. It is not a game of snake & ladder, mind you.

If one can passionately writes on how one supports his or her party of choice, so can this pleasantly insane working Ibu blatantly shares her doubts of either choice. Kan?

Every feeling is a valid feeling. Yours. And mine! Having different views and feelings though, should not make us online enemies.

This is after all, my story, for my children.

:)

Party Apa?

2008-03-02T10:30:00.006+08:00

I'm not apolitical .... busy rather. Extremely. They say, when it rains, it pours!

Still manage to have a fair bit of small talks with my children re the general election though. Nothing serious. Just entertaining the innocent questions coming from my 3 children.

Children are very observant, who dares to disagree? My boys are no exception. All those posters and bendera put up practically everywhere .... lamp posts, traffic lights, roundabouts, empty shop lots.... could not have missed their attention. Most of the time though, they (the posters) have been the object of their "I Spy With My Little Eyes" on board kill-the-time game instead of subject of general election discussion.

Some serious questions do pop out from time to time though. And some of the answers can be quite hilarious and thought provoking at the same time. Here's one scenario.

Abang Idin : What party are you going to vote for, ibu?

Ibu: Party Tupperware.

Abang Idin: Alah Ibu.... jangan la main-main.

Ibu: Hey...Undi adalah rahsia you know?

Abang Idin : Eleh... Teacher Rameni dah share dah party apa dia nak vote.

Ibu: Really? Hmmm... and what would that be?

Abang Idin: PAS.

Ibu: REALLY??!!!

Abang Idin: Teacher said, PAS tu kan party Islam.

Ibu: So?

Abang Idin: Ye lah... Islam tu kan baik. She said she likes Islam.

Ibu: Ohhh.... PAS tu yang mana satu eh?

Abang Idin: Alah Ibu ni.... yang logo dia gambar bulan tu lah....

Ibu: Ohhh....

Ameer: Ameer tak nak bulan! Ameer tak nak bulan!

Ibu: So Ameer nak apa?

Ameer: Ameer nak ghoket!!

Ibu & Abang Idin: Whoaaaaa...... GHOKET!

Ibu: Kenapa Ameer nak ghoket?

Ameer: Sebab nak naik ghoket pergi outer-space. Nanti boleh jumpa Transformer!

That was followed by gelak sakan by yours truly, Abang Idin and Hafiz ( who was quiet since the beginning of the discussion).

Ibu: Hafiz pulak nak vote siapa?

Abang Hafiz: What is 'vote'?

Abang Idin: Aiya you.... Vote pun tak tau? What larr...

Ibu: Well..... Do you know what General Election is?

Hafiz: General Election? Ermm... no.

Ibu: Hafiz nampak tak poster-poster kat tepi jalan semua tu.

Hafiz: Oh..... yang gantung banyak banyak tu, yang ada gambar orang semua tu?

Ibu: Err.. ah ha! So that means, general election is coming. In general election, it's time for us to choose who to become our leaders.

Hafiz: Leaders?

Ibu: Errm... (cam mana nak cerita ni?) Like Prime Minister ke...Or President ke?

Ameer: Ah! Macam Optimus Pghime!!

Another ketawa sakan ensued.

Ibu: Hafiz nak jadi leader tak, like the President or Prime Minister?

Hafiz: Oh no!! No... No...

Ibu: Why not?

Hafiz: Because I don't know how to TALK.

Oooohhh.... that left me chuckling and wondering at the same time. Remember I said children can be very observant? It's either Hafiz has observed that one needs good communication skill to become a leader OR...... or what? I leave it to your imagination ;)

Assalamualaikum & good days ahead people.

It's in the air? (Part 2)

2008-02-16T02:08:00.006+08:00

14th February is here again :)
And I've got it all well planned & executed this year I tell ya!!

9.00 am: review day calendar, read/reply/delete/archive emails
9.30 am: 121 with Regional Director - talent assessment prep
11. 00 am: Team meeting - referral scheme do's & don'ts
12.00 am: Phone call to Hafiz & Hafiz teacher
12.30 noon: Lunch with Regional Director; benchmark small talk
2.00 pm: 121 with CB's PA - sign off TA's schedule/governance meetings
3.00 pm: 121 with Regional Director - ethical trading standards & audit scoping
4.00 pm: 221 with HR Mgrs - new office layout seating discussion
5.00 pm: 15 mins catch up with Regional Director on assessment feedback
(he left for Spore shortly after)
5.30 pm: Resume 221 wth HR Mgrs - new office layout sign off
6.00 pm: 121 wth RH - prep for agencies' ethical trading standards briefing
8.00 pm: 121 wth AZMM - review submission for UK Team Talk updates
9.00 pm: read/reply/delete/archive emails
10.00 pm: time to call it a day laaaaa....
10.30 pm: reach home - multitasking time part 1
- grab dinner & watch TV in the kitchen
- review Ameer's & Hafiz homework
- reading session, title for the night "Where Are Your Ears"
- nite-nite boys!
11.30 pm : pack Hafiz's books for Friday's timetable
Midnight : multitasking time part 2
- check Yahoo email (awaiting reply from long lost Kak Mekna - di mana dikau?)
- read Star online
- blogroll to the critical few

But ohhhh..... my nose got worse!

Actifast, actifast - where art thou?
Can't afford to get sick
Friday's briefing on ethical trading, mind you....

Gotta hit the sack ..... eyes half closed already.

Uh? Am I forgetting something? Or some things?

Like what?

Like...... what about the Chocolate? Musical cards? Roses? Teddy Bear? Candle lit dinner?

Hmmmm..... yesss.... What about them?

Ohhhhhhh! Oohhhhhh! Ohhhhhhhhhhhh!

Hmmmm.... Oh well! Guess they'll be just fine without me.

Like all previous years.... and the years to come. They'll be just fine without me.

No worries & no regrets at all in that department.

I caught myself humming to the tune of

L@V3 is in the air
Everyday I look around
Ooooo.... oohhhh
L@V3 is in the air

Only to be brought back to reality with this chorus:

Ahhh... Ahhhh.... Ahhhhhh Chhhhooooo!

Ish...ishh...ishhh..... That's what's in the air for me.

ZzZZzzzzZZZzzzz

p/s How was your 14th Feb? Well planned & executed too?

It's in the air?

2008-02-14T02:02:00.002+08:00

AHHHHH CHOOOOO !!!!!!!

Urgh... tissue please .....

* *
_

Happy New Year .... Happy Chinese New Year !

2008-02-07T10:35:00.000+08:00

Ha Shana... wa sula baca lu punya komen arrr..... just in time.

Sapa kata bukan tahun balu?

Aiyaaaa..... Bila wa pegi keleja ha... wa nampak manyak nimau tau! Bukan kotak2 punya. Tempat wa keleja haa... diolang hantar nimau dalam loli woooo... Bila wa nampak nimau satu loli... hah...wa sula tau, ini hali laya mesti sula mau mali.

Waaa... manyak syiok arrr... apa pasat manyak syiok? Sebab boleh cuti 4 hali!!

Wa manyak suka hati. Bila cuti 4 hali, balu wa boleh latang sini tempat, bagi hilang semua habuk2. Itu Simah sula bising ini tempat maaaaaanyak habuk wooo! Aiya...soli, soli. Soli laaa... wa maaaaaanyak busy wooo!

Wa ingat aaarrr... wa mau hantar itu kad hali laya untuk kawan2 china tau! Tapi balu minggu lepas wa pelasan arrr..... itu kad semua belum pos lagi. Aiyaaaa... busy punya pasat la.

Habis, sikalang mau bikin macam mana?

Aiya.... nasib baik aler ini blog. So har... kita bagi ucapan plospelity on line lah hah? Okay what?

Wa kasi lipit ( read: repeat ..ahaks!!) pantun laya tahun lepas pasal wa maaaaanyak syiok itu pantun. Tapi kasi modify sikit la ha? Enjoy haaa..... Kasi tepuk tangan lulu sebelum baca pantun okay?

HALI LAYA SULA MALI
DIOLANG HANTAR NIMAU SATU LOLI
SATU TAHUN SATU KALI
GUA BIKIN SILAP GUA VELLLLLY SOLI!

Ha.... syiok arr ini pantun? Kalau syiok, bagi tepuk tangan lagi la... hahaha....

To all my fellow chinese bloggers : U.Lee, Daphne ... aiya! Dua olang saja ka? Mana cukup wooo!
To all my chinese friends & colleagues ( I doubt they read this blog ...)
To all my chinese neighbours ( mana lu olang beli itu bunga api ha? Manyak cantik wooo!)
To all my chinese ancestors and ancestor-in-laws
To Ah-so kat pasar lawang yg selalu simpan/deliver ketam utk hali laya ibu (tenkiu arr.. Ah-so punya customer service no:1 in the world!)
To Patrick, contractor yg bikin lumah (aiya... bila lumah wa mau siap?)
To all other friends (olang lain punya hali laya, lu orang pun lapat cuti 4 hali kan? Enjoy haa...)
And to all silent visitors out there, if any ...

GONG XI FA CHAI !!!

Happy New Year, Luv!

2008-01-01T04:17:00.000+08:00

It was -5 degrees and we were having so much fun chasing one another on the 4 inches thick of soft white surface and throwing snow ball to each other when we realised it was 10 minutes to midnight. We chased around the snow man, throw a few more snow balls and took another glance at the the brightly lit cottage that was all covered with icy flakes in that near freezing temperature before we made the dash.

We rushed to the grand entrance to watch the fireworks. It was already full to the brim by the time we got there and we had to squeeze ourselves through the crowd to find a spot to catch a glimpse or two of the firework display if we could, stretching our necks over the heads of hundreds more. Almost out of breath, we hold on tight to each others' hands not wanting to risk separation in that madness. The jubilant mood anticipating the clock strike was everywhere.

As the countdown began, he wrapped his arms around me and hold me even closer. Our cheeks touching each others'. We hugged each other tightly and snuggled into each others' body, enjoying every moment of doing just that. And slowly but surely we joined in the festive crowd for the last few counts of 3-2-1 and shouted

Happy New Year!

In a split second, the vibrant colorful display of fireworks emerged in the sky with a grand big bang. First red and yellow, then green and blue. Followed by a spectacular splash and mixture of the whole palette soon after, much to the oohhhss and ahhhhs of the jaw dropped audience.

Almost instantaneusly too, we turned to face each other.

He stared into my eyes with his gentle eyes and slowly planted a kiss on my nose. Then on both sides of my cheek.

I kissed him back on his nose. And then on his cheeks too.

"Happy New Year, sayang!" I whispered to him first.

He pulled me even closer. The tip of his nose touching mine.

Despite the chill of the cold weather, the warmth of his body overwhelmed me as we cuddled each other. We were oblivious to the loud cheerful crowd around us.

At that moment to savour, there was only the two of us embracing each other, loving one another.

With his soft but husky voice, he whispered back to my ear,
"Happy New Year, Ibu! Esok ada firework lagi tak?" asked Ameer innocently.

"Esok takde dah. But we can still play the 'pop-pop'. Nanti kita beli kat Mydin ok?" I answered assuringly while still nozzling Ameer's nose. A display of affection and love which I do freely with my little ones without any worry of what other people around me would say. Something which I obviously would not do for Ayah (well.... holding Ayah's hands maybe but I'm definitely not nozzling his nose while in the public eyes!!! )

From right below, another small pair of hands tugged my jacket.
"Happy New Year Ibu! I love you!" cheered Hafiz excitedly.

And then another face emerged from the crowd, "Ok jom, let's go back inside and play some more games!" urged Abang Idin, with Ayah nodding in agreement, appearing from behind.

The Snow World closed at 12.10am but the Indoor Theme Park would still be open till 1.00am. So off we went back inside '5 beranak' to maximise the remaining of what's left of our 'investment' at Genting Highland in the first hour of this new year.

Oh! What a moment! A joyful feeling that no mother would want to outgrow.

PEACEFUL MIND, LOVING HEART, JOYFUL SPIRIT, HEALTHY BODY AND ABUNDANT BLESSINGS ARE MY WISHES FOR YOU AND YOUR LOVED ONES.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE !

(from Ibu, Ayah & anak-anak dari Kota Keriangan)

.

Selingan - Raya Haji Pics

2007-12-31T10:08:00.001+08:00

I'd better post these before they get accidentally deleted. Not many in the collection coz I forgot to recharge the camera battery. And yeah .... no one else cared to remember either. Semua ibu jer yang kena ingat tau! Mana aci?!

Anyway .... let's see what we've got.

A basket full of home made ketupat, manually weaved by yours truly, ready to be handed over to Bibi. 30 pcs ngam-ngam, no wastage whatsoever this time. Yesss!!!

Ketupat ready to for the hungry tummies.

Ibu's hari raya signature dish - Ketam Masak Menjilat Jari! Hehehe... tapi memang ramai yang menjilat jari this year coz we only managed to secure about 5 kg. That was 3 kg short of our usual ketam-raya supply for both families ( Ibu & Ayah's sides).

The pak & mak sedara to you my boys ....

From left, Pak Uda & Pak Long, puffing their cigars.... the reason why I had to stay further away; couldn't stand the stench!

Then Mak Uda & Mak Anjang.

Followed by Pak Anjang, who escaped Udang Goreng Kunyit this time around. Kita masuk buku 555 ye? Patutlah ketam tak cukup!
The ever popular tuan rumah MAK LONG still looking fresh and vibrant despite hours of hard labour in the kitchen the night before.
My everdearest Ayah at the right end. Ironically, he's the one with the most white highlights despite being the youngest brother.
Hmm... banyak no berfikir ye?!
Eh! Who's that standing by the door? Cik Ton kah? (Ayah's younger sister). I just enlarged the pic. Opppsss... mana bisa Cik Ton berkumis? That was Pak Cik Kamal daaa. Cik Ton's hubby.

Not quite the full quorum. Yes.... They have a big family indeed.

While the adults bergebang, let's see what the kiddos were doing.

Ameer & cousin Nakhwan (anak Pak Lang) bonding at pondok.

The bigger boys having some kicks outside Mak Long's porch. All are "Alongs" except for Hafiz.

The other Angahs, Achiks and don't know what else were upstairs playing PS2.

The girls?! Where were they? Hmmm....all locked up in another room having their girls' talk. I could hear their giggling from outside the room. Been there, done that. Didn't want to spoil their fun.

My headaches, my heartthrobs - the three musketeers.
Yang berbilang warna.
Abang Idin (milo). Ameer (horlicks). And Hafiz (choc-o-cino).

At last, after about 4 hours at Mak Long place, they started squeezing into the back seat, getting ready to hit the road to balik kampung to JB pulak. A long journey for Ayah. An opportune time for Ibu to get some sleep. Yeaaaayyyyy!!!

I have to mengorat my sisters & nieces for pics in JB. Our camera battery dah kong by then!

So that's all for now folks.

.

Eid'l Adha and beyond (part 2)

2007-12-25T12:33:00.000+08:00

It is quite common in a typical Malaysian family for the parents to be amongst the first members of the household to perform the hajj. My family was no exception.

We were all very excited when Bapak and Mak (or Atok & Nenek to you my boys) received their invitation and confirmation letter from Tabung Haji circa late 90s. Each one of us wanted to have a piece of it somehow, no matter how small or insignificant it might seem - from sponsoring the whole kenduri doa selamat, a token in the form of a nicely embroided telekung for Mak, a comfortable pair of sandals each, a sturdy and safe luggage for Bapak, right down to the ribbons in striking colors that were to be tied to the luggage for easy recognition at the airport carousel. Without doubt each one of us also started calculating in our head silently how much more did we need to top up our savings if still insufficient and started to wonder out lout rhetorically when our turns would come actually in the very familiar tone of "bilaaaaa la agaknya turn kita pulak eh?".

Nearing the weeks that my parents were due to leave for the holy land, all of the children, most of their siblings, lots of relatives & close friends flocked down to visit them in JB; either to attend the kenduri doa selamat, to seek forgiveness, to wish them well for a safe return trip, or even to simply kiss their hands to 'ambil berkat'.

BUT .....

With this kind of story, there is always a but somewhere ...

Barely 3 days prior to their departure to Mekah, in the middle of the night, I received an emergency call from my elder brother (Uncle Bard to you my boys) about Bapak complaining of severe chest pains. That must be serious I thought. The Bapak that we know hardly fell sick during his entire working life. A retired marine police officer, our non smoking Bapak had a very high threshold level for pain and would never ever consider falling sick as an option for him. Such confession of serious pain from Bapak, what's more in the middle of the night, was a real concern indeed to everyone and no one in their right mind dared to dismiss that as trivial . My brother said, Mak and my 2 other sisters were waiting nervously for my steer. Somehow, despite being the younger sister, I became the final consult that particular night. And without hesitation I requested Bard not to risk waiting at the emergency ward at GH JB but to rush him direct to a private specialist hospital instead. It has got nothing to do with lack of confidence with the public hospital but time was of essence. My view struck the cord with everyone and we assured Mak not to worry about the medical bill. Ayah and I, being the only ones out of 'hometown', drove down to JB that very same night.

It turned out that Bapak had a heart attack; with 3 arteries blocked at 98%! The surgeon's advice was to do angiogram on one of them straight away. He said, due to Bapak's critical condition, one of the arteries must be unclogged as soon as possible as temporary measure to ease the blood flow; the other two blockages can be discussed later subject to financial consideration. The consultation, surgical and medical fees? RM5,000. For one and one blockage only. The doctor assured us he would help with all the necessary reports and paper work to enable Bapak to claim back whatever claimable from the Pension department or for us children to claim from EPF. We agreed without objection for the need of speed. We had to. We must. Who to bear how much and pay back to whom - belakang kira. First things first, better be safe than sorry.

The very next morning, my sister and I went to JB Tabung Haji office to report the incident and to seek advice on immediate next steps with regards to my parents' intended pilgrimage that year. Needless to say, the much anticipated planned pilgrimage for Bapak and Mak that fateful year had to be postponed until the next Hajj season or until Bapak recuperated well enough to be medically re-certified as fulfilling the "able-bodied" criteria, whichever is later.
Let me take the pleasure of repeating when this happened. Barely 3 days prior to Bapak's flight departure to Mekah, okay?. Yes, only 3 fingers up please and count: 1, 2, 3! Not many. 3 days only!

The officer@ Ustaz yang I dah lupa namanya, was surprisingly very calm. After taking us through all the administrative procedures, he shared with us one classic piece of advice, "Ini lah namanya ketentuan Allah; kita manusia hanya merancang, tuhan jua yang menentukan. Adik berdua pesan kat Mak, jangan risau banyak sangat ya? Mesti ada hikmah disebalik setiap yang ditentukan."

A very common advice. One so common that could have been heard anytime anywhere from anyone - even from the TV cerekarama. So common that it could have been easily taken for granted without much heeds. For me personally, that particular morning advice pierced right through my skin, bones and rib cage straight into the center of my heart; triggering a high pitch shrieking alarm bell that seemed impossible to switch off, sending an alert message throughout all my blood vessels and a wake up call to my active yet semi conscious neurons.

The irony of all this was that all the while before this particular chapter, it was always Mak who had to be in & out of the hospital or clinics, either for medication or emergency treatment for high blood pressure, migraine, pain in the knee or other joints and what not. It was as if the hospital and the clinic had a specially designed revolving door custom made just for Mak's frequent and unobstructed access. Yet, as fate had it, when it came to the moments of truth, it was Bapak who stole the thunder.

Bapak felt very guilty for the delay and kept apologising to Mak and all of us for all the unnecessary trouble he thought he had caused. Mak remained very supportive and played her household counselor's role to Bapak and all of us, reminding that every cloud had its silver lining and this kind of things that had happened could well be a blessing in disguise.

After the angiogram, Bapak went through angioplasty for the other blockages at the then Universiti Hospital (now PPUM). Cost? For police force pensioners, only RM6.00 for registration. He was heavily prescribed with medications though, some free, some expensive drugs on own expense and was recommended to follow a strict diet. Bapak recovered well throughout the coming year and was eventually certified medically fit to go for his pilgrimage with Mak the very next Hajj season, albeit with a reminder that he would be under close monitoring by Tabung Haji medical team. What was there to fuss? The closer monitoring the better, we thought.

Amidst all these, I found out that one of the heart surgeons handling Bapak's case in UH that bapak affectionately called as 'Tuan Doktor' turned out to be my once long lost class mate from college prep days who happened to be the husband of an old buddy from my alma mater. What a small world! Maka terjejak lah kasih dan tersambung lah semula tali silaturrahim antara kawan-kawan lama. A blessing in disguise? You bet.

Meanwhile, Ayah & Ibu still shuddered with the thoughts that hovered in our mind - what if we continued the typical planning for such a worthy trip to take place later for our golden years - you know, after we have lived our life to the fullest? When the pockets are not drained by the mega sales, long term loans fully paid, children all grown up and can take care of themselves, and the mind all prepared to go, YET with an ailment that surfaced at the 11th hour like what happened to my very own Bapak? The spirit ever willing because the end could be near but the flesh naturally weak because the end could indeed be around the corner.

With all these happenings, it only further entrenched Ayah's & Ibu's heartfelt desire to perform the hajj the soonest we could.

BUT then again .... kita manusia merancang, tuhan jua yang menentukan.

So there is another BUT? What now?!

To be continued.....

.

Eid'l Adha and beyond ...

2007-12-23T23:45:00.000+08:00

It has been two years already. How time flies.

I have a mole below my left ankle. I remember during my childhood days, my aunt Busu ( now known as Nek Busu to you my boys) interpreted that as I would travel far. I believed her. How could I not? I was told she was the one who chose my name for me. That sounded like a big deal to me. So I grew up with a self fulfilling prophecy that I would travel far because 'Busu' predicted so.

I am now residing in Rawang, working in Mutiara Damansara, commuting daily on the NKVE - hmmm.... doesn't that count as traveling far? I've only used the car for 3 - 4 mths now, and I checked this morning it has already clocked about 15,000 km already. That shows I do travel far, don't I? Ahhh... I digressed.

Yes, I wanted to travel far. Not just between Rawang & Damansara daily. I wanted to travel the world over if I can.

Soon after marrying Ayah, I found out that he too wanted ( actually he still does) to travel the world over. Specifically, he wanted to visit the 7 ancient wonders of the world. Busu was right after all! Now we both husband and wife would travel far together-gether.

As we progressed in our own careers, it soon became apparent that my jobs were mainly desk-bound. You know, shuffling papers here & there, meeting and talking to people now & then. The farthest would be Sabah & Sarawak. Oh yes... overseas, but South China Sea only. That was it. Ayah on the other hand, with his IT background, backed with the much sought after software license and project management exposure, could easily secure jobs or assignments that involve traveling to anywhere in the world. That's if and only if he really wanted to. But that would mean him traveling on the job on his own. Concern is, the traveling far was supposed to be done together-gether by Ibu & Ayah. Attached to the hips if possible. Not one here and the other elsewhere. Tried it once - away from each other for about 9 months. Ayah in Jeddah and Ibu in ...where else? Rawang. The absence of each others' company was too much to bear. We've decided we have to be under the same roof, well... at least most of the time.

That didn't kill our desire to travel the world over. Except that the vision became clearer - it cannot be solely dependent on work related ( i.e 'sponsored') travels because that would be synonymous to both of us traveling to different directions at different times on our own agenda, mostly business. We want to travel the world over together-gether. I snap your photo. You snap mine. I hold your hands, you hold mine, and my luggage too please :). Get the drift?

There is another twist. Not only do we share the same desire to travel far, but without necessarily influencing one another, we both also came to the same conclusion that our travel destinations must be prioritised. We made up our mind to go for hajj as soon as 'possible' before we travel to other worldly desired destinations. They say, great minds think alike. But hey... fools seldom differ either.

We figured Eiffel Tower would not get any shorter. The dome of Taj Mahal would not be any less shinier. Stonehenge would not lose any of the stones. The leaning tower of Pissa would still stand, though tilted. The Sphynx, well.. it may be further eroded year after year - but it too will still be dusty just the same. And the Sydney Opera House - my choice this one - would not move on its own.Not visiting any of these during our lifetime would not be a major 'non conformance' in our books. After all, it's the 5th pillar. So we thought, let's get the priority right for both us.

Some of our friends and relatives said, that must be an early calling for us both. The beaconing.

Some others said, you two rugi lah... Enjoy first gua cakap lu! Still young what? What's the point of going too early? There would be too many remaining years after you return, hence the higher chances of you two still committing sins after sins. The idea (perhaps) is live your life to the fullest, then go to hajj & repent. Upon return, go to surau often, concentrate on ibadah and start preparing for the life hereafter.

Well, what can we say? Everybody is entitled to his or her own opinion.

We had one of our own. And we were sticking by it. Our priority got further self reassured, at least while we still can and while we were still able-bodied to do so.

Is being able-bodied good enough though? Is having enough savings to fund your pilgrimage sufficient? Apparently, for "young people", that may not be good enough. Not quite. Not just yet.

So for some good number of years after Ayah & Ibu embedded our desire to prioritise our travel destinations, and for many moons after we carved in stone our commitment to perform the hajj while we were still able-bodied, we were kept waiting for the invitation to be the guests of the holy land.

The waiting that we dutifully obliged with. Without much fuss.

To be continued ......

.

Pringles tak halal?

2007-12-18T12:41:00.000+08:00

WHOOOWWWW .......

Don't eat this one!

p/s Hafiz pesan, " kita tak boleh makan pringles banyak-banyak. Sebab nanti kucing nak makan pringles, pringles dah habis.... kesian kucing ....... " Meowwww!

p/s That is NOT ibu in the background.

Takziah Simah, di atas pemergian Baba ....

2007-12-10T22:49:00.000+08:00

PROFESSOR SABAHATTIN ZAIM, 81.

They call him the "professor of professors".

They call him "master of economics".

He must have educated thousands of students and scientists, amongst whom include Turkey's own President Abdullah Gül.

And the list of awards & honors in recognition of his contribution are almost endless.

But to Halil and Simah, he was simply Baba - the beloved father and father-in-law.

To their beautiful children, Hatice & Baddin, he was simply Dede.

When I received the short text from Simah yesterday, "Kak, bapa halil dah pergi"; I stood frozen for a while. In a flash, the memories of admiring the family photos in Simah's hallway and running my fingers through his books on Halil's shelves came running back to me.

Ayah & I did not have the chance to know Halil's & Simah's Baba up close and personal when we visited them in Istanbul a few months back. Yet having learnt of Simah's modern fairy tale love story from the horse's mouth herself and having met her beloved husband Halil and their two lovable children Hatice & Baddin, I feel that the tribute to the late Professor Sabahattin Zaim as is now spread all over Turkish newspapers on his contribution to "humanity & culture" is almost an understatement.

Nevertheless, there are things in this world that cannot be seen or even touched, rather felt with the heart.

For what we have witnessed during our short stay with the Zaim Jr family, it was crystal clear that Baba has indeed raised a fine gentleman and that Baba has done more than what words can describe with his consent to bind the two hearts in a marital bliss despite the lovebirds' prior challenge of being shores apart.

Simah dear, I read about your relentless service to the late Baba during his final days with much admiration. Each time I read your entries on caring for Baba, I have this funny mental picture of a "Malaysian Nightingale" in action, clad in her baju batik kelawar, burning up her midnight candle running up & down the ward aisle caring for the ailing Baba (though your roster were normally in the morning, right?). Joke aside, I'm very sure not many would be able to do the same like what you have done for Baba, my dear.

To Halil, yes... it is for the better as the pain and suffering is no longer felt by him. And there is no greater treasure a father would have amassed other than a son who prays for him after he left for the hereafter.

To Hatice & Baddin, you'll miss him we know. He'll miss you too, do you know? A little prayer for him would bring a smile to his face wherever he is, bringing you two closer at heart to him each & every time always.

With Professor Halil Zaim (Jr) surviving - carrying the educationist DNA in his flesh and blood, with the love of Simah the Malaysian Nightingale loyal by his side, and the young and fast growing Hatice & Baddin ever ready to conquer the world, Professor Zaim (Sr) 's legacy as one who lights his candle to enlighten others will surely prevail ....

May he rest in his peace. Al-fatihah ....

A true modern epic of "cinta dua benua" - Simah & Halil

Hatice & Baddin cuddling a kitty

****************************************************************
* read more from the press *

Zaim passes away, Turkey loses master of economics

Professor Sabahattin Zaim, known as the “professor of professors” and the “master of economics,” passed away in a private hospital early Sunday in İstanbul.

Professor Sabahattin Zaim, known as the “professor of professors,” opened high schools and faculties in İstanbul and Sakarya and educated thousands of students.

Zaim, an 81-year-old professor who had been receiving treatment for lymphoma for some time and who underwent an operation two weeks ago, died around 4:15 a.m. on Sunday at Sema Hospital in the Maltepe district of İstanbul, where he was placed in the intensive care unit on Saturday. Zaim will be laid to rest today in the family’s graveyard at İstanbul’s Edirnekapı Cemetery after the noon prayer, to be held in Fatih Mosque.

Zaim’s doctors said he was in critical condition on Saturday. President Abdullah Gül, one of Zaim’s former students, upon hearing that Zaim had been hospitalized called Zaim’s relatives and received information on the state of his health.

Zaim was born in the İştip (Štip) province of Macedonia in 1926 and moved to İstanbul in 1934 with his family. He graduated from Ankara University faculty of political sciences in 1947 and was nominated district governor in several provinces of Turkey. He was admitted as a research assistant in the department of economics at İstanbul University in 1953 and served as department chair until he retired in 1998.

Zaim worked as a member of the Higher Education Board (YÖK) between 1996 and 2000 and contributed to the establishment of Sarajevo University in 2003 as a founding rector.

He was given the Honorary Award for Contributions to Turkish National Culture by the National Culture Foundation of Turkey in 1990 and received the Islamic Development Bank (IDB) award the same year for his contribution to Islamic economics. He also received the Lariba Award from the Lariba Islamic Bank of Los Angeles in 1996 and was nominated for the highest award given by the Independent Industrialists and Businessmen’s Association (MÜSİAD) in 2002 and for the award of merit by the Turkish Writers’ Association in 2003.

Zaim educated thousands of students and scientists including President Gül. He was married with five children.

Associate Professor Numan Kurtulmuş, one of Zaim’s research assistants, stressed that Zaim’s memoirs, which he shared with his students, will be published soon. “Zaim told his stories to a group of his students, including me, in the 20 weeks after he retired. He had a great collection, bringing together all the documents and news articles prepared and published about him. He approved the publication of his memoirs and we will publish them in the coming weeks.” Recalling that Zaim was the most important Turkish figure in the field of labor and Islamic economics, Kurtulmuş added: “He contributed to the establishment of the majority of charity organizations and foundations in Turkey in the last 50 years. He was a man who continuously strived to serve humanity and was loved by his students.”

President Gül, Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdoğan, Deputy Prime Minister Nazım Ekren, Interior Minister Beşir Atalay, Finance Minister Kemal Unakıtan and former politicians, Ali Coşkun and Nevzat Yalçıntaş, stand out among Zaim’s students. In a previous interview with the state-run Anatolia news agency, Zaim noted that he did not imagine that his students would be prominent figures in Turkish politics in the future. “Yet, I believe that they will exert their utmost efforts to serve the country and Turkish society,” he said.

Zaim continued reading and writing after he retired from the faculty of economics and administrative sciences at Sakarya University in 1998 and is known to have spent his retirement giving lectures and involved in social and cultural activities both in Turkey and abroad.

10.12.2007

Today’s Zaman İstanbul

There's still tomorrow

2007-12-08T00:01:00.000+08:00

With much excitement each one volunteered

Hafiz: "Patricia !"

Ameer: "Nasya !!"

Abang Idin: "Siti Rooney !!!"

It was very heartwarming that all of you my boys thought of a girl's name for the baby. For once you were all unanimous that it should be a baby girl.

Hafiz, Ibu will have to check if there is a meaningful arabic equivalent of Patricia, ok?

Ameer, I wonder how you knew such a name? Did any of Ayah's friends or my friends' hubbies have anything to do with this choice of name?

Abang Idin, Siti maybe; similar to your cousins in JB. But Rooney? hmmm ... not likely I think.

Thank you my boys for suggesting those lovely names.

For the time being, Ibu will KIV them first ok?

Hopefully we will retrieve this posting again in the near future for practical reference, insyaAllah.

Meanwhile, Ibu need to recline deep into sleep to prepare for tomorrow's procedure.

Good nite all.

In search of the missing little one ...

2007-12-01T11:26:00.001+08:00

She said she couldn't detect it.

She said it could have disintegrated.

She said it's the body's natural way to either absorb back some disintegrated things to remain in the body or flush out some others.

She said (and we could saw it clearly from the screen) that the gestational sac is still intact, which explains why I am still feeling the common hormonal effects.

She said this is quite common in the first 8 to 12 weeks.

She said causes for most are not known.

She said 1 in 5 ends this way.

So have I become one of the statistics?

She added that I should go for the procedure soon. As soon as today.

She noticed how Ayah & Ibu fell silent and instinctively knew we were not immediately agreeable.

She said perhaps we should seek second opinion if we are not sure with her explanation.

Perhaps we should.

Ayah led me out of the clinic in silence.

Perhaps Ayah knew Ibu too well not to dwell on the emotional side of this kind of things. Rather, rationalise what to do next.

Perhaps Ayah may not be so sure how to handle Ibu if Ibu became too emotional about it right there & then.

As usual I didn't. I remain stone faced. Yes I was rationalising hard in my mind.

Perhaps we should seek second opinion, Ayah suggested. Ibu agreed - third & fourth if we have to.

We went separate ways back to each other's office.

I dived my nose into the contracts piling up in my tray.

I set my mind to enjoy the dinner & croaking session planned for the nite.

Later Ayah sms.

For the first time after I left the clinic, tears welled up in my eyes and finally trickled down my cheek - behind closed door.

We've been praying hard for one that is healthy & well and for the best.

Perhaps this is His answer to our prayer because only He knows what's best for us.

Perhaps the best is yet to come :(

Pandangan dua dunia

2007-11-11T23:07:00.000+08:00

Jumaat malam Sabtu, kita satu family ronda-ronda di Pavilion. Saja lahhhhh menyinggah, tempat baru kan? Bibi pun ikut sekali, sebab kat rumah "lestriknya nggak ada". Kucing-kucing tinggal. Sebab mata kucing boleh nampak jelas dalam gelap, tak perlu bantuan "lestrik".

Enak sungguh menjamu mata tengok beg, kasut, baju dan segala benda yang diperagakan di kedai-kedai baru di situ. Sempat juga mencuba beberapa pasang kasut. Tapi semua yang 50% off dah kehabisan saiz 6, 6.5 dan 7. Bagus lah tu. Ada hikmahnya! Ayah gumbira.

Kita turun ke Food Republic di tingkat bawah untuk makan malam. Banyak pilihan. Makanan Jepun ada, Nasi Padang ada, Western ada, Vietnamese ada, Thai ada. Laksa Singapore ada. Rojak Penang ada. Teh tarik pun ada. Harga, boleh tahan lah..... Tapi Bibi tak mau makan. Katanya, di rumah masih banyak makanan, nanti siapa yang mahu habiskan? Membazir saja. Jadinya Bibi kongsi rojak buah dengan Ibu. Bibi makan nenasnya, sebab Ayah tak bagi Ibu makan nenas buat sementara waktu.

Ibu lihat, Bibi ralit memerhatikan sekeliling. Tengok bermacam juadah yang dijual. Tengok orang "Londo" ( yes, without the 'n'. Yes, it's meant to be London. Kita panggil orang putih atau mat salleh.) Tengok deretan "kembangan" yang di hadiahkan kepada penyewa lot kedai makan (congratulatory flower arrangement for the food court opening). Tengok orang pakai baju sekerat nampak pusat. Kita semua makan. Bibi kuis-kuis rojak, sambil terus mengamati persekitaran.

Sedang syiok menjamu selera dan menikmati suasana, tiba-tiba Abang Idin bersuara.
"Ibu, do you know something?"
"No"
"Ibuuuu!!!"
"What?!"
"I want to tell you something"
"Shoot"
"Last season kan, Man U vs AS Roma, guess what was the score like?"
"Alah... manalah Ibu tau"
"Ummphhh...Lopek la Ibu ni. 7-1 tau!"
"Wahhh... terrornya Roma!!!" (saja nak usik Abang Idin).
"Ehhh! Man U yang 7 la! Roma 1 aje ..."
"Ohhh.... Ingatkan Roma yang menang."
"Mana ada.... Mestilah Man U!"
"Eleh..... Roma lopek! Boleh lah Man U berlagak!"
"Ehhhh! Roma tu boleh tahan tau. Tapi Man U lagi terror!"
"Kan Hafiz kan, Man U terror kan? Hafiz suka Man U kan?"
"Arsenal." (jawab Hafiz pendek, sambil menghirup sup bebola ikan.)
"Ek eleh dia ni. Ameer! Ameer suka Man U ke atau Roma?"
"Inter Milan!" (jawab Ameer selamba, terkebil-kebil.)
"Ayah?"
"Selangor"
"Hahaha... Lopek lah semua orang".

"Cuba Abang tanya Bibi"

"Uh? Iya? Saya? Ada apa?" (balas Bibi dengan slang Indonnya, agak terkejut namanya disebut).
"Bibi......." (Abang Idin meleret manja, harapan terakhirnya untuk memartabatkan Man U, pasukan kegilaannya.)
"Iya.... Ada apa sih?"
"Bibi suka Man U ke atau Roma"
"Uh? Apa-apa an Idin ni. Apa saja lah!"
"Alah Bi, cepatlah, Man U ke Roma, pilih satu"
"Uh... tak tau lah Bibi. Apa saja lah kamu suka"(agak cemas suara Bibi.)
"Tak boleh Bi. Kena pilih satu, Man U atau Roma. Yang mana satu Bibi suka"
"Man U? Roma?" (Bibi kelihatan keliru seketika).
"Ha... Bibi tau tak Man U dengan Roma?"
"Ah? Oh iya, iya! Roma Bibi tau"

UHH? BIBI TAU ROMA?

Kami semua terdiam sejenak, terkejut beruk mungkin - sebab Bibi tau Roma. Mana bisa?

"Macam mana Bibi tau Roma?" (tanya Abang Idin, sah terkejut dengan kenyataan Bibi).

Semua orang diam, tak sabar nak tau.

"Iya lah... dia tu bagus. Sudah naik Haji lebih dua kali!"

"Uh? Roma naik haji? Roma mana ni Bibi?" (Abang Idin kebingungan)

Semua yang lain masih diam, berdegap degup jantung menunggu jawapan Bibi.

"Alah ... Roma tu lah. Dia kan terkenal di Indonesia. Pandai menyanyi. Suaranya bagus!"

Ibu dan Ayah macam nak tersedak rasanya.
"Rhoma Irama!!!" (serentak bersuara, diikuti dengan derai ketawa).

Abang Idin masih kebingungan. "Roma pandai menyanyi? Apa benda ni?"

Hafiz dan Ameer tak ambil pusing. Sibuk menyudu bebola ikan.

Ibu & Ayah masih tak tahan gelihati, ketawa berterusan.

Bibi tersenyum-simpul dan ketawa kecil sendirian.

Man U vs R(h)oma
Pandangan dua dunia
Agak berbeza :)

- Rakaman memori di Food Republic, Pavillion, KL -
( Jumaat 9 hb Nov, 2007, 8.00pm )

Do you make sens?

2007-11-08T15:24:00.001+08:00

There is no spelling error. It is meant to be spelt as such, 'sens'.

Sens? What's that? Animal? Vegetable? Rock?

I'm sure most of us know what sens are. Most of us have sens. Most of us make sens. Some have and make more sens than others.

Sens is a manglish term of the word cents - the plural of sen. Sen is the smallest currency denomination in our country. That perfect circle gold coin featuring a hibiscus on one side and a 'rebana' on the other. A 100 pieces of that sen makes a ringgit.

Ahah! Now that I've mentioned it, perhaps it is beginning to make more sense. Most of us are more familiar with ringgits than with sens. Perhaps, most of us appreciate ringgits more than just those loose sens.

The value of sens is less appreciated these days. The days when we can buy loads of goodies with just some sens in our pocket have long gone, and never heard of these days. My own children would favour 'duit biru', 'duit hijau' or 'duit merah' over 'duit circle warna gold'.

Does that mean saving sens do not make sense any longer?

Just as most of us have some sens, and make some sens, there are also equally plenty out there who don't have any sen at all and who could not make any sen at all. And while all those loose sens can't buy us that much goodies anymore these days, those same loose sens can still be of great value to a lot of other people in so many different ways.

Each of those sens can save lives. Each of those sens can support some children's education. Each of those sens can feed some children. Each of those sens can help buy equipment for the disabled. Each of those sens can help build mosques or suraus.

Now sit up straight and read carefully what Ibu is about to write next. Don't slouch.

Next time when you go shopping, pay for your goods and receive those sens as loose change, don't straight away sulk and show face to the cashiers. Save those sour face for yourself when you look into the mirror - if you like those sour look that is. If you don't like keeping those sens in your purse or wallet because they make your Coach or Gucci or Ferragamo or Bonia wallets protrude like a drunkard belly, then by all means don't keep them in your purse or wallet. I don't mean throw them away! Simply slip those sens into the clear boxes that have been placed at your utmost convenience in front of your very naked eyes at the cashier counters.

At Tesco - it's for Charity of the Year, Makna Cancer Research Fund. Your sens save lifes!
At Jusco- it's for With All Our Hearts Foundation. Siti will beacon her smile back at you :)
At C4 - it's for K9 Society ( I think ... I don't shop there. Hehe...... )
At Ali Maju Restaurant - it's for a surau somewhere ... ( tak ingat la, sorry!) hey... some outlets even offer you senaskah surah yaasin in exchange for the loose sens you drop in the box.

If you don't shop at any of the retailers or dine at Mamak restaurants, but surely have some sens stashed somewhere and feel like you can spare some multiples of sens - hey! Good for you! Read Pi Bani's stories on how those sens can help buy some milk and rice, educate some children and restore roofs over some heads.

For the frequent travellers & flyers, remember most money changers don't accept loose changes to be exchanged for desired currencies. Why bother worrying about your pocket sagging and jingling with coins? Perhaps for a change, drop those small change of sens equivalent into the UNICEF envelope handed to you either by the sweet smelling stewardess or the hotel's ever-so-polite front desk assistants. Even if "Tipping Is Not Encouraged" signpost stares squarely into your eyes, you know those multiple loose sens equivalent would bring a smile to the doorman and the hotel limo chauffeur.

And I know you know there are many other options where you can let go of these sens to benefit others in need - the choice is yours.

The first series of choices to make is to commit to gainfully loose those sens.

That single sen from all of us can make a whole lot of difference in the lives of others.

It all begins with just one sen. Don't hesitate to depart with your loose sens.

Make sense with your sens!